WHY do you feel guilty?

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Hi there,

Not trying to steal the steam from the other thread, but I simply do not understand this concept. I've dressed for about 10 years now, and I have never felt this at any time.
I've always enjoyed my experiences.

Tell me your reasons for feeling guilty no matter how small you think they are.

*hugs*

Zara

[tricia_uktv]

Easy, because society tells us that we shouldn't be doing this. But society sucks so I don't feel guilty :)

[Eugenie]

Tell me your reasons for feeling guilty no matter how small you think they are.

At first, simply because of the type of upbringing I received... Anything touching sex was tabou, and at that time my x-dressing was primarily sexual.

Later on I felt guilty because I couldn't stop doing it, even though I knew it was hurting the feelings of my wife...

I finaly managed to accept my x-dressing condition and not feel guilty about it specifically but still be unhappy that my wife was feeling bad about it.

But my better self esteem with x-dressing made my wife slightly change her attitude. She's now far more understanding and far less unhappy even though she's not jumping of joy about it.

I think tha feeling guilty becaus one's SO is sad in relation to ones x-dressing is an understandable reason...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Michelle-NC]

Hi Zarabeth,

That is the exact reason why we feel guilty, though I have gotten over that now. Not sure that guilty is even the correct term. The correct term might be closer to being ashamed.

Most of the time, when I was feeling this, was because I was looking for that "high" of being dressed and increasing the sexual release. The minute I got the sexual release, then I ashamed of what I had done, because I could not accept it, and I was listening to society's point of view on what is right and what is wrong. It is well known, that if society would accept crossdressing, then most of us would not even be in the closet, but out in open. However, the minute we do, then our jobs are affected, our family, our friends, and everything is looked at differently.

Hope this makes sense.

[Nicole Erin]

When I was a kid I felt guilty cause I figured I was the only person on this planet who did it.
But then, I saw Boy George and figured "Well, at least I only wear hose." I felt normal and though BG was weird.

[Amy Hepker]

Because we are programmed to be male and do male things.

[Jennaie]

I'm glad to hear that there is someone out there that has no feelings of guilt about their sexual orientation or desires.

I feel guilty because it's not accepted, not accepted by society, by my family, by anyone. I feel guilty because it feels so good. I feel guilty because I am supposed to be a man and yet I love feeling like a woman. I feel guilty because I have desires that only a woman should have.

I think it's wonderful that you feel no guilt, but I do, I always have and I suppose I always will. Shame on me for not standing up for myself.

[trannie T]

I go out en femme on occasion and I have told a few people about my crossdressing but I don't advertise it. I am not proud of being a crossdresser, nor am I ashamed of it, crossdressing is just a part of who I am.
I have never felt guilty about crossdressing, though. It is a harmless activity. Being a crossdresser is far better than being a Republican.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I'm glad to hear that there is someone out there that no feelings of guilt about their sexual orientation or desires.

I feel guilty because it's not accepted, not accepted by society, by my family, by anyone. I feel guilty because it feels so good. I feel guilty because I am supposed to be a man and yet I love feeling like a woman. I feel guilty because I have desires that only a woman should have.

I think it's wonderful that you feel no guilt, but I do, I always have and I suppose I always will. Shame on me for not standing up for myself.

hi Jennaie,
Don't get me wrong, I have guilt, its just for many other things other than my dressing. When I was little, my grandmother always encouraged me to explore, be open-minded to new things/people and experiences. That helped me see things as I grew older in a different light than others I guess.
If I had gone with the horrible things my father said to me and believed them, i would truly be dead now and not enjoying the life I have made.

Sexual guilt? Yes. I hate certain types of men in general. I was raped at 13 by the person that is now our hometown mayor. By all accounts of what i have read... this event should have altered and skewed my view of the world in a very negative way. But because of my perspective, I have loads of wonderful gay friends, ts/cd/gg name it.
The negative result is that I don't allow men to touch me in femme unless they have permission and only if its non-sexual.

Hope that explains some things.

*hugs*
Lady Zara

As for everyone posting here, Thank YOU for your valuable insight. Keep em coming as I learn from you.

*much hugs*
Zara

[shirley1]

agree with most of what has been said - the main guilt for me stems back to being caught by my mom at 14 and basically threatened made to feel ashamed of myself (no son of mine is going down this road !) but the only guilt i have now if any stems from being in the closet ie not being able to tell friends family about it - its not really in my nature to be leading a double life and hiding things from people but i can do it - but with it does come some feelings of guilt/doing something wrong caus if you have to hide things from people then generally you are hiding them caus you dont want/are affraid of them finding out - so as much as i can live with cding and not have a problem with it in myself (i've accepted it and dont feel i'm doing anything wrong) i dont think i will ever really relax about it until if and when i can come out to people i know - its not just about feelings of guilt its also living with the fear of being outed !

[MsToriJones]

I feel guilty because it's not accepted, not accepted by society, by my family, by anyone. I feel guilty because it feels so good. I feel guilty because I am supposed to be a man and yet I love feeling like a woman. I feel guilty because I have desires that only a woman should have.


Your dressing IS accepted by me and by many others here. Remember that always.

[jennifer41356]

Hi there,

Not trying to steal the steam from the other thread, but I simply do not understand this concept. I've dressed for about 10 years now, and I have never felt this at any time.
I've always enjoyed my experiences.

Tell me your reasons for feeling guilty no matter how small you think they are.

*hugs*

Zara

I feel the same way you do, I love every minute of it and have never felt guilty...I feel more lucky...lucky to be petite enough and have a fem voice to get out in public as a woman

[JaytoJillian]

I feel the same way you do, I love every minute of it and have never felt guilty...I feel more lucky...lucky to be petite enough and have a fem voice to get out in public as a woman

Right on to you both! life is too short to feel guilty! I'm more concerned with being on my death bed thinking of all of the things I wished I'd tried than lying there worried and feeling guilty about all the things that I did!

[Jennaie]

hi Jennaie,
Don't get me wrong, I have guilt, its just for many other things other than my dressing. When I was little, my grandmother always encouraged me to explore, be open-minded to new things/people and experiences. That helped me see things as I grew older in a different light than others I guess.
If I had gone with the horrible things my father said to me and believed them, i would truly be dead now and not enjoying the life I have made.

Sexual guilt? Yes. I hate certain types of men in general. I was raped at 13 by the person that is now our hometown mayor. By all accounts of what i have read... this event should have altered and skewed my view of the world in a very negative way. But because of my perspective, I have loads of wonderful gay friends, ts/cd/gg name it.
The negative result is that I don't allow men to touch me in femme unless they have permission and only if its non-sexual.

Hope that explains some things.

*hugs*
Lady Zara

I very wish that my mother would have been more accepting of my femme side than she was. She was more accepting than most, but she also voiced her opinions when I exposed my desires to be with a man. I know my mother hated men, and that played a role in her views. but she also made me feel guilty about my own desires.


Your dressing IS accepted by me and by many others here. Remember that always.

That is exactly why I keep posting here. I feel accepted here by most and I love knowing that I am not alone in my feelings.

"Last edited by Sandra : Today at 03:13 AM. Reason: merged posts, edit button please" Sorry, I don't seem to be good at multi-quote. I knew how to do this at one time but I have forgotten again.

[Kate Simmons]

It used to seem like a "no win" situation. I felt good when I could be myself(and in touch with my feelings) but guilty because I felt I was letting everyone else down. They were expecting me to be a "man", a husband, father and family head who wore this big "S" on his chest, had no feelings and was "made outta rubba" like the clowns said about Dumbo. I did have feelings but fulfilling someone else's expectations of who I should be left me empty and created all kinds of inner conflicts.

I got tired of being a "hero" and of being Dumbo and decided to finally be a person instead. A person who is finally in touch with his feelings and is no longer ashamed of them. It cost me a lot but the alternative was continuing to be a person who was not genuine and in all honesty losing my sanity.:happy:

[docrobbysherry]

CDing is generally considered shamefull. So I feel shame for doing it. But not WHEN I'm doing it!
I don't feel guilty because I dress for sexual reasons. I feel guilty because I enjoy it SO MUCH! And because I am so pre-occupied with CDing. To the detriment of other people and things in my life.
RS

[crusadergirl]

I don't know if its guilt but i just feel its wrong for me to dress the way i want. Like amy said its like i'm programed to be a guy so i just can't allow myself to do most things as a girl. I so want to go out more and buy more stuff i like but i can't get around the fact that i have been a guy most of my life. I'm not worried about what people think for most part, its what i think that holds me back.

[Teddie]

I don't and never have. Maybe a little confused when I was a pre-teen, but never ashamed. Don't know why.

[Lilith Moon]

In the past I have felt guilty because, as a child, I learned cultural values that insisted that it was wrong to dress in clothes of the opposite gender for pleasure.

I have shrugged off that problem but still have some persistent guilt because my crossdressing is regarded as an "issue to be dealt with" by my wife. She worries that somebody might find out about me. Maybe guilt isn't quite the right word...it is more like I feel concern for her feelings.

[NatalieBliss]

I couldn't tell you. It makes no sense at all. I am not hurting anyone or anything and it makes me happy. In the past I have stolen some items and there is an amount of guilt there, but I buy my own stuff now, so that really isn't it. I guess you could argue the guilt comes from keeping a part of myself hidden, but then again I have never lied about it, it's just that I haven't told people. Realizing this is why I have pretty much gotten over the guilt.

[bEEb]

Maybe it was being an orphan and growing up in foster homes and successively hammered with the ideologies of Baptists, Jehovah's Witness's and then Catholics?.. Ya Think?.. Maybe?

[Jilmac]

Hi there,

Not trying to steal the steam from the other thread, but I simply do not understand this concept. I've dressed for about 10 years now, and I have never felt this at any time.
I've always enjoyed my experiences.

Tell me your reasons for feeling guilty no matter how small you think they are.

*hugs*

Zara

Zara, My guilt stemmed from the fact that I was hiding my dressing for too many years. During my first marriage, my ex (who knew about my dressing before we were married), was very unsupportive and refered to it as my "problem". My second wife, also knew before marriage, But she had a brother who was gay and she believed that my dressing would "turn me gay".

I enjoyed dressing then as much as I do now and I still hide it from certain members of my family, but I no longer have those strong feelings of guilt, the motives of my deception being quite different than they once were. Luv and :hugs: Jill

[KatieC]

There's guilt, and there's shame, and I'm still very much struggling with them both.

My guilt comes from still being in the closet, even from my wife. I want to come out, but I'm scared silly about doing so. Which leads to the shame . . .

I grew up in a very conservative Christian home. Anything sexual was taboo. Hell, the church we attended even had rules against social dancing, because "it might lead to lust, and lust is evil." My early dressing experiences were pretty much all sexual, so I was "sinning" and an evil person because of it.

Then there's the "God made them male and female" idea, which implies that crossing the gender lines is going against God's design, and is therefore evil.

On top of that was growing up where even a hint of femininity in a male was something to be ashamed of. "You throw like a girl" ... "Don't be such a girl" ... etc ... the ultimate insults from my formative years.

So between general culture and religious upbringing, I have a ton of baggage that I'm still working through. It's one thing to know in my head that it's all a crock, it's quite another to believe it all the way down to my subconscious where the feelings of shame come from.

I'm scared silly of coming out to my wife, because she also grew up in a conservative Christian home, and I'm terrified of rejection should her upbringing make her as anti-crossdressing as mine tried to make me.