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Carrah
04-18-2005, 04:02 PM
Well, as the title would suggest, I’m giving up on cross-dressing for a while. It’s certainly not that I don’t enjoy it, well, maybe in fact that’s exactly what it is, but it comes down to maintenance or management of this activity.

I’ve had a mustache and goatee since I hit puberty and one of the reasons for this has always been my lack of desire to regularly shave; I hate shaving my face. I’ve done it before, but for very brief periods, like maybe a day or two. However, I was determined this time to shave my face regularly and I have been doing so for about a month now. Ultimately, though, it would appear to be my undoing; so to speak. My facial hair grows so quickly that I often find it growing back AS I’M SHAVING! Okay, so maybe that’s a bit of a stretch, but it sure seems like it. The larger part of it is, though; I just can’t get used to what I look like without facial hair – period! You know how some folks look at themselves and they don’t like what they see? Well, that’s me without facial hair. It’s just not me; the me I’ve known all my life. So, with a goatee, where am I really going with this?

Then there’s the physique. I mean, why fight it? I moved some things around in the garage the other day and my biceps popped out about another inch. To tell the truth, it felt good! So, I’ve made the decision to get myself back in shape again, which will realistically put me at around 200 pounds bodyweight with very little fat, like maybe around 12-15 percent at best.

So, there you have it; facial hair and a muscular, 200 pound physique. You know, what’s the point? On the other hand, I’ve not made a decision with respect to my legs, stomach, and chest as far as shaving those go. I’m now thinking along the lines of either a square cut or competition style swimsuit for men. I’m wondering how it might look with a flat, washboard stomach and sweeping thighs with no hair and a deep tan? Most of the women I’ve met over the years think I look better with nothing on or as little as possible on, as opposed to having clothes on. Though I’ve only ever been with two women in my life, I’ve been hit on like a million times and usually when dressed in a t-shirt and shorts. So, why not go out with practically nothing on? Hmmm, now that I think about it; women seem to prefer me like that and love the fact that I can cook, yet hate the idea of a man preferring a woman barefoot in the kitchen – go figure.

Like I said in another post, maybe I’m just not playing by the right rules? I do enjoy cross-dressing, but I simply cannot allow it to interfere with my life any longer. You know, its one thing to get the wife, significant other, or even the kids involved; that can be a lot of fun. It’s okay to laugh with those who laugh at us; it makes life more interesting and more worth living. But, when you find yourself hidden in the house for hours, sitting there in a pair of nylons with nail polish and a wig on, staring into or walking past the mirror when in reality you should be out taking care of things around the house or doing other things for yourself, something has to give.

Why do I cross-dress in the first place? Who knows? Someone said in another post that perhaps it has something to do with sexual activity, or lack thereof? Well, maybe in fact I have been a little bored with the girlfriend lately. She has been putting in a lot of hours the last several months; works, eats dinner, goes to sleep. On the other hand, maybe it’s a hormonal thing? You know each spring my hormone levels change and my nipples become much more sensitive. This will last for a month or slightly longer and then things return to normal. Or, two weeks ago a began taking Creatine and DHEA in an effort to bring my energy levels back up and it is kicking in, which may also have something to do with my present attitude - DHEA being a precursor to testosterone.

At any rate, y’all are a bunch of great people; I’ve certainly enjoyed communicating with each of you and have learned quite a bit in the process. Certainly it has proven a worthy venture and of immeasurable value in participating and in sharing thoughts openly. As I always suspected of cross-dressers in general, y’all seem a bit more intelligent than the average person. I’ll come back from time to time to see how y’all are doing and to let you know what my leg shaving decision was and how that went, if I do decide to publicly display my bare thighs that is. I don’t doubt that I’ll dabble in it from time to time, so I won’t be throwing any of my things away, even though nothing is going to fit me in less than 60 days from now (muscle memory).

This is how it’s been for me with respect to cross-dressing; on again, off again each time taking it to a new level. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be able to pass as a kind and generous old lady :)

Anyway, time to hit the weights…

obsessedwithpantyhose
04-18-2005, 06:13 PM
hold ur horses b4 u give up all ur girly things,,, i recall in my past recolections of searching the internet a website called crossdresser and it had a bald man with a full beard and mustache and a skirt n heels, some of u may recall that if u wer surfing a few yrs ago for a home,.. the site now has changed and that man is no longer in there but the point is it dont matter what u look like u can be who u want to be and its the ones around u who have the problem if THEY dont like what they see...u dont like the song on the radio u change the station, u dont like whats on tv u change the channel, if someone around u dont like how u look they will look the other way.........
so dont give up yet.. :D

Sigrid
04-18-2005, 06:50 PM
Like I said in another post, maybe I’m just not playing by the right rules?

We got rules?!! No one ever showed me the book.

It's good to see you've got the good sense to hang on to a few girly things. It shows you understand the ebb and flow of it all.

Hope to hear from you soon (no dress code required).

Best wishes,

~Sigrid

DonnaT
04-18-2005, 10:38 PM
Carrah, a lot of body builders keep a hairless body. Shows the muscle definition better. I checked the rule book, sorry for those who didn't get a copy, and there is no rule that says you can't dress in something sexy or that feels good just because you have facial hair. I had a mustach for 25 years and shaved it off last Dec. I too hate shaving, but hate the hair more.

Priscilla1018
04-19-2005, 11:18 AM
Hi Carrah,

I have been into body building for three years now and have developed some really great muscle.I shave my legs,armpits,and my arms and shoulders to better show the muscles.I do not shave my face anymore at my wifes request. I have a full beard but I still like to dress when I'm not at the club.I like the feel of the clothing and the colours.I could neever pass as anything but a bearded lady,but I don't feel that is reason enough to quit.I have been dressing for 46 years and have had a beard for 34 years.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

Marianne
04-19-2005, 06:37 PM
This is how it’s been for me with respect to cross-dressing; on again, off again each time taking it to a new level. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be able to pass as a kind and generous old lady :)

Anyway, time to hit the weights…

Rules? There are rules? Damn, no-one told me! (and even if they had, I'd ignore them! If they made fun, I'd 'kick their ass')

Since I don't 'pass' as a teenage supermodel (5'3", size 4), perhaps I should also give it all up?

Not.

I'm 6', 190, size 18 (well, ok with a 'W' in there! and on the 'extreme' end of the '18', I could make a fortune selling clothes in a '1x-3x' if I just replaced the labels with a '12-14'!).

I wore a moustache and goatee for umm, 30 years (pics down below) simply because of habit and a thing called 'Overt Masculine Imagery'. It was 'camoflage' , done because of my social and personal life as a parent (and now a grandparent).

Was never a body builder type tho, haven't been truly 'in shape' since, umm, since the last time I had to defend my cave from sabre-tooth tigers (well, ok, since the last time I tried out for a national sports team).

Taking care of your body is important, but whether naked, you look like 'Conan the Barbarian' or a 'Playboy centerfold' is not important (at least not to everyone).

Being a cross-dresser/transgendered person is *not* a competition, not unless *you* want it to be.

I 'know' I am pretty low on the 'rankings' here as far as 'passability' and 'looks' go, but that's the 'pure male' in me talking. The 'femme' in me thinks completely otherwise. As 'Marianne', I'm far more concerned with how individuals feel about themselves and not how my oppressed and media-influenced 'male' side would think. Most of that latter part is not me, it's how I think I am *expected* to be based on some very clever people trying to sell me a new pick-up truck or a can of beer 'guaranteed to make me more attractive to hot chicks'.

For the last umm, 14 years or so, cross-dressing was the *lowest* thing on my priority list. I had very little 'disposable income', and what I did have was spent on raising my kids, getting them through college, helping them to the point where they were 'set'.

Quick example. My step-daughters car broke down as she was travelling from NJ to SC, on her way to college. The clutch burned out somewhere in West Virginia. So I paid for a motel room there for her, then drove down and spent a few days helping her unload all her 'stuff, got the clutch replaced, and all the 'stuff' reloaded. At no point did I feel 'resentful' that all the money I spent *could* have been spent on new stockings and dresses for me.

While I have come to learn that cross-dressing is very important to my own happiness and mental well-being, I have also learned that for me it's *not* the most important thing in my life.

Now, here I am, living alone, and I do *not* regret a single moment of my life. At each and every 'decision moment' I made a choice. I made my choices to be the best person I could be, I chose to be as true to myself as I could be without being an 'asshole' to thsoe that are important to me and who rely on me.

I shaved my moustache and goatee off about, umm, 7 years back, because I was maturing enough to no longer feel the need to wear it. The extra time it takes me to shave every day is acceptable to me.

Your mileage may vary, but please don't ever think that you are 'breaking the cross-dressing rules'. There aren't any.

and here's me in pure 'male mode'.

http://elawyn.homestead.com/files/elawynbow.jpg

The armor is a fully functional set , 14th century japanese in style. I made it myself. I also made the bow and the arrows. I've fought 'SCA" heavy combat while wearing it. The rest of the outfit is 14th century japanese sewn by my ex (except for the tabi boots). The sword is hand made for me by a smith from Gizu province in Japan, and I still use it for learning traditional japanese sword techniques.

And by comparison...

http://elawyn.homestead.com/files/dblonde.jpg

In both pictures, I'm still the same person, they simply express two completely different sets of personality aspects. *NOT* two different people, the same person.

arula
04-20-2005, 08:17 AM
Its a very thin line Carrah. I too had left it for a long time. Not sure whats driving me but had decided I was going to keep it separate from my "regular life". Its important to maintain stability. Good luck. XOX Arula

tricot gal
04-20-2005, 12:31 PM
The first question that pops into my mind about your situation is the following: is this the first time that you've decided to halt your crossdressing activities? If it is, it's quite likely that it won't be the last time. Many of us have experienced similar feelings such as yours and have temporarily ceased from being a cd only to resume the wearing of women's clothing within a few months or years. Speaking of my own forty years of experience, I have been unable to shake my habit, need and desire to crossdress. Of course everyone's experience is different and perhaps you will overcome your urge to crossdress. Keep in touch with us and let us know whether this decision is a final one for you.