Going out first time

[tiffanythecd2001]

:happy:Hi; how do i build my first time out, mines is so low , thanks, Tiffany,:heehee:

[DonnaT]

Please expand the question!

[BethCD]

Sorry........don't understand the question. :confused::confused:

Beth

[MJ]

are you asking how do i build my confidence for a first time out ?

if thats the question then there is no right answer you just do it . but bear in mind you will get looks and someone may say something .. just ignore them be yourself as you would be in guy mode relax and enjoy yourself

[KandisTX]

Assuming you are speaking of your confidence, that's a tough one to advise on. If you have low self esteem or confidence, getting out that door is going to be hard for you. I would suggest starting with "short" trips. Make them "steps" to take and once you get comfortable with each step move on to the next step. I must warn you though, once you have done it you will be hooked and want to do it again and again, and again.

Step 1: Get dressed up and go to the front door and open it, stand there for a bit.

Step 2: Get dressed up and go to the front door and open it, step through it and take a few steps, maybe to the end of the walk.

Step 3: Go out dressed and get into the car, start the engine and drive around the block once or twice.

Step 4: Go out dressed up drive the car to a gas station and fill up the gas tank.

Step 5: GO OUT and have fun.

---OR---

You just get all dressed up and like a bird learning to fly, you just do it.

Kandis:love:

P.S. I followed the step program myself. I dressed up and stood at the open door of my apartment, then walked to the end of the building, then to the parking lot, then drove to a store, and then made plans for my big outing. I kept telling myself all the way to the meeting of Neutral Corner (TG group in SD CA) that I would get off at the next exit and turn around but for some reason I kept missing that next exit until I got to the one I needed for the meeting. I then sat in my car in the parking lot of The Kings Inn for about 20 minutes before getting the courage to go out into "the world" as Kandis. ;)

[KimberlyS]

... how do i build my first time out

IMHO, the best way to build your confidence is four easy steps:

1: get out of town away from those you know.
2: pick and check out a safe public place with people and check it out first in regular mode. IMHO a mall is a good place. Go in one end, walk the whole mall and back. More if you want.
3: pickout and dress enfemme in a casual blending outfit that blends with the area and people you will be going to. And do not worry about passing, just a reasonable feminine image.
4: Just do it. You are out of town away from those you know. Those that see you, you will never see them again. So it does not really matter what they think. And you will get some looks and comments. So repeat over and over "It just does not matter what they think.

Oh and number 5 is:

ENJOY YOURSELF. If it is not fun it is not worth doing it.

[joann07]

I pretty much agree with everyone's tips, but I will add a little of my 2 cents to it.

1. Observe - You want to blend in so it’s a good idea to see what the popular dresses, outfits, tops, skirts, pants, shoes, etc, etc. women of your approximate age are wearing so when you're ready to go out you don't feel like you're sticking out like a sore thumb.

2. Practice pratice pratice! - Your appearance and presentation, meaning, your makeup, attire, mannerisms, walk, and talk.

3. Stay calm - Its definitely nerve wracking going out that first time, but stay calm and don't act suspcious.
But if you draw attention to yourself, then people are going to notice.

4. Be the receiver of admirers - When you're out and about, you may think that you're being spotted or read, but don't be surprised if they're all by men. As straight men, we're always looking and checking out hot and attractive women. It’s in our nature. If they know you're a guy in a dress, you can tell by their reaction, but if they think you're attracive then they'll look at you the typical guy way.
It took me a while to get used to this, but now it doesn't bother me. I take it as a compliment knowing that I pass very well as a woman and what a confidence booster it is.

Hugs!

[mike47]

Well what I did was I got dressed and went to the local gay bars. The one that has the impersonators doing a show. Now keep in mind I have been going down there for a very long time and never really got out of my truck. lol. Then one time I got out and was walking up to the door when at about the time I got up there some people were coming out. I was a good ways away from my truck and there really wasn't anywhere to go but inside. They stood there and held the door open so off I went. It really was nice to finally break the ice and I am happy that it has happen. I feel more relaxed now and really enjoy going down there.

[tiffanythecd2001]

:happy:Yes my confidence,is very low, i just wondering how you all do it, got some very nice answer thanks everyboby.:heehee:

[BethCD]

Tiffany, I understand your concern. I had the urge to be "out" very badly and was...cautious, afraid, etc. I too, started with small steps. Nothing wrong with that! Just go at a comfortable pace, stand in front of the window, open the front door, get the mail, keep working your way up while feeling comfortable.
Before you know it, you'll be going out with no fear.

Beth:D

[Angie G]

From what I see in the pic to the left I don't see why you have a problem you look great hun so give it a go :hugs:
Angie

[tamarav]

If I could only count up the number of hours I spent sitting in a car at a mall or whatever trying to work up the courage to simple walk through, I would embarassed.

"It takes balls to wear a dress" (which is on my license plate frame) and that is all there is to it. You will nervous and scared but just get through it and the next time will be easier.

I now dress virtually every day and work dressed, can't ask for more...

Your sis,

Tami

[jennifer41356]

Go to places that arent very crowded, go during the week if you can. I went during the week and went to Ross and a couple of private owned dress shops back in the late 80's to help build up confidence....I also was able to get electrology and remove most of my facial hair which really raised my confidence level...
Now if I can only get rid of the wig,:D...just kiddin, I have a good one that looks quite good, but I wish I had my own long hair:love:

[trannie T]

Going out the very first time is a horribly terrifying experience. Anyone on this forum will tell you that they were horribly scared the first time they went out the door. It gets easier and it even gets to be fun. So work yourself up, get dressed and get out of the house!