Enough!!!

[Deborah Jane]

Do you ever get to the point in life where you decide "enough is enough"?

What do you do then?

[LizSummers]

I've always been back and forth - sometimes I get sick of it I just want to throw all my clothes and shoes away...but it always comes back. I've grown to accept that this is who I am, and I think that's the most important thing.

[Shelly Preston]

well that depends on what you decide is enough

Enough of Crossdressing ?
Enough of Hiding ?
Enough of abuse ?
Enough of confusing issues ?
Enough of people not understanding ?

Would you like to clarify what you mean ?

[Deborah Jane]

Enough of the cr*p that life keeps sending my way!!

[Carlacd]

Hike up the panties and give it another go. Most of all, don't ever give up on yourself.

[Joanne f]

Find a good friend, if that is possible theses days .

joanne

[bgirl]

I wish I would have quit giving up years ago. There are still difficult moments and I still wonder what makes me different from everybody else. But I am different. No doubt about it. I'm not only trying to learn to live with it, I want to learn to love it. Its just another part of me after all. Now if only I could just walk out that door whenever I wanted and be who I am!

[Deborah Jane]

I started writing a reply explaining things, but it sounds like i,m feeling sorry for myself. I,m not..I,m past that. I guess i,ve just reached a point in my life where i,m thinking whats the point, it,ll just go wrong anyway. BTW being Debs is only thing i,m ok with...It,s whats keeping me going...Just wish i looked better as Debs..lol But thats not a big issue to me!

[Sabrina Flowers]

I think you should go to your doctor. I hit a very low point in my life last June; but I reconised the thoughts and feelings from a previos low point a few years ago. I went to my doctor and talked things through a bit, she was very understanding. off work for a few weeks and managed to sort a few issues out and have now reached a level where things are better, I'm also learning not to take things to heart to much. even being a part of this forum where I can be sabrina is nice thing.
I know it is easier said than done, but if things are bad do seek some help or talk too someone. :hugs:

[Deborah Jane]

I,ve been in therapy for over a year now. We just get through one set of issues and something else go,s wrong. I don,t feel i can get anywhere at the moment. I think thats why i,ve decided "enough is enough"!

[dianwb262]

I am at that point now. I have been seeing a therapist since November. It has help somewhat, but I don't know where its going to go or what she will be able to do for me.

[MJ]

Debs never ever give up ...please remember we all love you . it's hard and if i tell you my hard luck story well ... just never give up . dust yourself off and yell NEXT and move on .. you can do it ..

[Carroll]

Do you ever get to the point in life where you decide "enough is enough"?

What do you do then?

If I had, I would have given up a few times. More than once, my wife has gone in the the Hospital for mental health reasons, with each time being no less than 4 days. This puts an enormous strain on me to manage my personal emotions, my work load, loss hours at work, my kids and maintianing the whole house. I have said that to the kids when they are acting..."Thats enough, you two?". When you get to the point were enough is enough, you have to push to tip the scales back to your side.

[DeniseK]

Do you ever get to the point in life where you decide "enough is enough"?

What do you do then?

Be thankful for what you have and do your best about what you dont have.
Then just keep trying to cope as best you can.

Thats what I do anyways.

[Kate Simmons]

I no longer worry about the things I cannot control Deborah. I just do the best I am able with the things that I can.

[Tamara Croft]

You know, instead of deleting what you're writing, just because you're feeling sorry for yourself, why don't you try writing it down anyway and posting it? Many of us go through the same things everyday and many times we don't write them down because they do sound like the 'woe is me' ritual. However... sometimes, it's just good to vent, get it all out, you might even feel better for it.

I'll start shall I? I've had a shit day, I had allocated shopping money, I even went so far as to add it all up on the tesco website just to make sure I had enough... oh but did I have enough... NO... well I did, but way over my budget... and that sucks.. cus now I feel crap, because I don't have enough this month to go towards my new cooker... you can play the violins now :heehee:

Your turn ;)

[KatrinaAshley]

Like any activity you enjoy, sometimes it's good to take a break. When you come back it'll be that much more refreshing.

[Roberta Rain]

When you hit the point where enough is really enough... when there isn't a thread or two left in your rope and you are slipping... and when you are as tired and tired of it as you can ever be, you do two things and you do them as fast as you can:
You start saying thank you, to yourself or to whoever out there you think might even remotely be listening, for everything you can find that is even remotely nice around you. Even if that is just a cold cup of tea, a hot cup of coffee, a warm bed, or the little blade of green grass that is still bothering to struggle it's way up through a bit of concrete to put some color in your world even though it's life is hard and it gets stepped on constantly.
Then you go out and do nice things for other people. Start with whatever you can do, but do something. Smile at someone. Give someone a break when they don't deserve it. Compliment someone. Give a bum a dollar or a dime, no matter what he is going to spend it on. Make someone a cup of coffee. Take a cheap box of donuts to an office where people have a sucky or unappreciated job and tell them thanks. Start doing that stuff and keep doing it.
When life is really hard, and it seems like there may not be any angels out there or that if there are, they have got to much to do for them to take the time to help you, then just figure the next guy probably needs the encouragement just as much as you, so give it to him or her whether you get it for yourself or not.
In short: When you've got nothing left to work with, say thanks for the next thing you see and for everything else you can find. And when you fall all the way to the bottom, start giving all the other people there a hand up as fast as you can. The way out is teamwork.
After that, I don't know, I guess it's different for everyone, but a friend of mine, who went through some real crap, once told me he had learned a usefull phrase in AA. 'When in doubt, do the next right thing.'

[Lisa Golightly]

Get very drunk and giggle a lot.

[Deborah Jane]

A quick explanation of things gone wrong!!
Sexually assaulted by my friends stepfather at age 13..I,m just dealing with it now in therapy after years of shame.
My 2 closest friends committed suicide..I know longer let friends become close...Dealing with it in therapy.
The only woman i ever loved is divorcing me over crossdressing...Coming to terms with it.
I,m scared i,ll lose my 3 children through either the divorce or the fact i,m not much fun to be with anymore...I couldn,t ever come to terms with it.
Other problems adding to it..Health issues, work, housing, etc
BTW..I,m not feeling sorry for myself..I,ve just had enough!!

And now i feel stupid here for opening up!!

[Roberta Rain]

Nope Debs, not stupid.. Just among friends. You don't have to be close to friends for them to be good and helpful and for them to love you. You don't even have to know them.. Sometimes it's enough that you go through the same shit and need to know that you aren't alone... that there are kindred spirits out there dealing with the same stuff. Sometimes friends aren't the people you meet and hang out with year after year. You may mean the world to a person you sit next to in a bar once in your life, even if you never know it. Friends come and friends go. I hate it when they kill themselves like yours did. I'll tell you though, Debs, there are more people out there than you think who benefit from it when you share your worries with them and let them help. There are even more yet who just feel a little easier knowing that they aren't the only one out there who is carrying a load that seems heavier than they can ever manage. It's not that agony loves company, it's just easier to deal with shit when you know you aren't the only one dealing with it. I've been closer to your position than you know, and I appreciate you sharing your feelings and letting me write back to you. When crap genuinely sucks, it isn't feeling sorry for yourself if you feel bad. Feeling sorry for yourself is complaining because your free cookie was the wrong flavor. The kindest thing you can do for some of us here is to let us know that we aren't the only one's out there that have those times in our life, that we aren't alone with the issues we face, by being yourself and sharing not just the good, but the crappy stuff with us.

[Tamara Croft]

You can't lose your kids through cd'ing... but only you can make the relationship work with you and your kids. If you're no fun to be with, then why not? have they said that? Do you take them out? if not, why not?

I'm sorry what happened to you, and for your friends, I have no advice to give on that, I've never been there, so I do not know how to answer that.

It's your life, if you really have had enough, then do something about it, take one issue at a time and deal with it as best as you can. Your children are for life, no one can take them away, but if you're pushing them away, then you need to start fixing that, before you lose them because you're not being a fun dad.

[heidi99]

A quick explanation of things gone wrong!!
Sexually assaulted by my friends stepfather at age 13..I,m just dealing with it now in therapy after years of shame.
My 2 closest friends committed suicide..I know longer let friends become close...Dealing with it in therapy.
The only woman i ever loved is divorcing me over crossdressing...Coming to terms with it.
I,m scared i,ll lose my 3 children through either the divorce or the fact i,m not much fun to be with anymore...I couldn,t ever come to terms with it.
Other problems adding to it..Health issues, work, housing, etc
BTW..I,m not feeling sorry for myself..I,ve just had enough!!

And now i feel stupid here for opening up!!

Debs, YOU ARE NOT STUPID FOR HAVING FEELINGS. That just makes you human. Welcome to the race.

With regard to the two friends, they may have felt that there was no one who cared, nor anyone they could talk to about what was troubling them. From what I've read here on this forum, pretty much anything is a fair topic, and writing about it is in fact good therapy. So as Tamara said, don't suppress the feelings you have (because it can damage you.)

Divorces DO suck, on that point most would agree. But it is a process that will eventually be over, and there IS life after the big D. You're a good person, and knowing that and repeating it to yourself over and over will keep your attention on the important things (being the best Pop you can, being civil even when others are not being civil to you, keeping your personal integrity.) This will lead to character, and at the end of the day, a more powerful you (may be hard to believe, but I believe it, having gone through a pretty bad D not so long ago.)

Our thoughts ARE with you! Do hang in there, and drop a PM if you need to, OK?

[DeniseK]

And now i feel stupid here for opening up!!

Not stupid. Just human.

Children are a precious gift. Do what you need to do to make that relationship work and the rest will fix itself. You can only lose your kids if you drive them away. Otherwise they will always be yours. And often, even when you drive them away they still come back to you.

[Deborah Jane]

I have my kids every Sunday and we always do something they enjoy. We really enjoy our time together, but after i drop them off i nearly always get upset about not being with them. My daughter knows about "Debs" and is ok with it, i suspect my eldest son does too. I think sometimes though they know i,m struggling to be a "fun dad"..Kids seem to notice things like that.

[Shelly Preston]

And now i feel stupid here for opening up!!

Debroah

You are not stupid for opening up
It can help to get your feelings out sometimes
I am sorry to hear about your two friends

Make sure you do your best for the children being a crossdresser does not mean you will lose them
As long as you are still a good father to them there is no reason why you should lose them
Hang in there and think as positively as you can
:hugs:

[Deborah Jane]

Thank you everyone for your support and understanding:hugs:..I guess it,s all getting to me at the moment..Sorry!!

[Tamara Croft]

Thank you everyone for your support and understanding:hugs:..I guess it,s all getting to me at the moment..Sorry!!See, it's good to talk no? Kids do go through hell when their parents break up and all you can do is keep loving them, keep taking them out etc...

[TxKimberly]

Well, first thing you should know is that this makes you human. I think we all go through this sooner or later.The reality is that this is life. It will have it's grand times, when you are riding high and own the world, and it will have it's low times when you get fed up and are pretty sure you've had more than enough.
I think this is a valuable service this forum provides - friends and people that understand you when you feel this way and need to vent. I've made my fair share of posts here when I was feeling bad. :-)

As someone else already suggested, you might try focusing on the things in your life that are good and decent. Like the fact that you HAVE children that love you. There are some here that fear they will never find someone to love them, and this you have. To them, this would be a treasure beyond measure.
One other thing you might want to consider. Try backing away from it and not taking life so darn serious. It can be hard to do, but is worthwhile. When you don't take it so serious you remove it's power to drive you to the brink. We only have one life to live, might as well relax and enjoy the ride as much as you can.
Hang in there!

[Sandra]

You are not stupid for opening up here so you can forget that notion. As some have said try to concentrate on the good things and enjoy what you have. Remember we are here for you.

[docrobbysherry]

Deborah,
I may have been where u r. Divorced 3 years ago, plus 4 years separation. Two kids. Part time with her, part with me. Still doing that. I was down in the dumps for the first 2+ years of our separation, but it's over and I'm lovin' life again!

Don't be a "weekend dad". Do things u enjoy together. That means U must enjoy it a lot! They'll get your vibes, don't worry, even if they complain at first! U can just hang out at home, if u like. Kids can tell if u r faking it!

Remember, there's one thing u have complete control over, no matter what happens to u! Your attitude! If u want to be down, u will be. If u want to be up, and u can't just make yourself feel up, do something to get there!


Hang in there! We're all pulling for u!
RS

[sissystephanie]

Enough of the cr*p that life keeps sending my way!!

Deborah,

It is only c**p if you let it become that! Try to adopt a positive attitude in your thinking.

Many years ago, I read about an ancient Oriental philosophy known as "Joss." Put into plain english, the philosophy is; don't worry about the things you cannot control because you cannot affect the outcome. Instead only concern yourself with the things that you can control, at least to some extent. If you think that way, you will have a whole lot less c**p in your life! Believe me, at my senior age I have experienced a whole lot more c**p than you can imagine. Including losing both my parents at a young age and my wife just a few years ago. So I know what life can send you! But how you respond is up to you. You can just give in, or you can move ahead with your life. Just say, (not very loudly!) "Go away, C**P, I don't need or want you!"

In other words, suck it up and move on!! We are all here for you!

Sissy/Stephanie

Outwardly a girl, under the silk and lace a man!

[lexiegirl619]

Due to work and everything in life I kept wondering and even thinking ok this is the bottom- everything is up from here, right... no I could still see the light at the end of the tunnel- so further down it went. When I thought all was lost and was ready to give up, I realized something profound- I spent a lifetime trying to be something I am and was not so why not just accept the hand dealt at this time wait for the next hand to be dealt and see where it leads- my last post a few months ago was dispair so of course everything is better- right - well of course- it led way for me to accept me, enjoy me and my SO and daughter- I finally realized we will face challenges and feel like enough is enough. Oh how many times did I pack everything up (pack in the untaped box for Alyx to just go away) to realize I was tossing and turning at night because I was now trying to be something I'm not- (comfortable in sweat pants and a t-shirt without what has come to be a part of me- more than a part- it has become me- bra, panties, a perfect pedicure, toe rings, anklet, both sets or earrings and a sexy dangly ring in my bellt button)

I must be honest the day, the week, the month, the last few months have all been hectic, awkward, discouraging, changing and finally accepting- so are there days that enough is enough- heck no- cause I am woman- hear me roar- I will overcome whatever is thrown at me- so now I will go back and read everything I have missed because I just wanted to say- you have a family here and giving up is never the answer (oh that and just being me again and being able to blab is such a great feeling)

Alyxandrah

[Dalece]

Find a good friend, if that is possible theses days .

joanne

I have a gg that is very supporttive and she knows me as a male but, when we talk together and go shoping I'm Dalece her girlfriend.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Hey Debs,

Its okay to have had enough.

Believe me when I say that I'm going through something similar right now, but its not hitting me like it used to. As a friend of mine put it the other day, "we all take our turn in the Barrel, some more than others, but its only a turn and it always ends".

Keep your head up, post about it here no matter how awful it may feel or stupid it may seem to you. Just do it so that we can share and maybe give you that ONE pick-me-up that helps you get through the next day.

Thats what this place is all about and I think most of us LIKE to be able to help in some small way.

*hugs to you*

Zarabeth

[Sally2005]

If you can't find a way to cheer yourself up and it is lasting for several days go see your doctor. Otherwise, do something that has made you happy in the past and try to forget about the crap for a while. I noticed that 'if you don't stir the crap around it doesn't smell as bad'.

...to help with your list of problems:
What an a** ***e! Ba***rd! And you were young, not your fault and nothing to be ashamed of!
Oh crap!, you picked the wrong friends twice! Maybe that was your fault, but what can you do now? Keep trying.
The wife is leaving over crossdressing?...be honest, it has to be more than just that...maybe you forgot to put the cap on the toothpaste one too many times.
The kids, you will never 'loose' them... could be difficult to see them after, but they will always be yours!
House, work, health... you are right, these things are usually related to crap... sigh!

...Hold on tight, you will eventually feel better. I promise!

[Raquel June]

I think J-Lo had enough. She made a pretty terrible movie about it.

I've certainly had enough ... Lemme tell ya about how my life has gone in the past year.

My windshield got cracked by a rock. I lost my job. My car got broken into (of course they broke out a window, and it rained for a week immediately following the break-in). My fiancee left me. I became suicidal and was so freaked out I got my parents to pay for me to get therapy. My phone got shut off. My electric got shut off and killed some really nice fish I had. I had to borrow money from my parents to keep from getting evicted (not cool at my age). I got a decent summer job driving a truck but I wasn't getting many hours...

I got a bogus $130 speeding ticket the week of my birthday from a back-woods cop who was 30 min. away from his jurisdiction. They wouldn't tell me my court date; they said they'd mail it to me, which they didn't, so of course I missed my court date which resulted in me getting my license suspended and a warrant block on my registration so I couldn't renew my plates. So I couldn't renew my plates until this corrupt court mailed me a reinstatement letter after I sent them double the price of the ticket ($260). While I waited for them, I got two more tickets for expired tags and almost thrown in jail. After the registration block was cleared I had to pay more fees and drive 2 hours out of town to get my license/registration reinstated.

I was dating another girl, but began to realize she was totally insane, then found out that she had actually been committed to a mental hospital three times. The bigger problem is that she was still obsessed with her ex-husband. My car got broken into a second time, of course stealing my stereo again and breaking one of my windows again and damaging the locks again. I got a new job but it barely pays more than minimum wage. I was dating an old high school friend who's great and I've always liked, but I really shouldn't have been because her husband died six months ago and she's totally unstable. She's got the most beautiful 2-year-old, though.

I feel pretty lonely and empty, and there are 3 different girls who want to date me, but I've dated all of them before, and two of them told me to get lost. They don't want me. They're just lonely themselves. And the relationships were stressful anyway. So I'm pretty OK where I'm at. I guess I'm depressed, but I'm not going to kill myself, since the porn on my computer and fake boobs in my closet would probably make my mom kill herself, and even if I got rid of that stuff, well, people would be pretty upset. I think once you're depressed for long enough, you realize that none of it really matters, and it's extremely liberating (unless you have religious hang-ups where you want to kill yourself but you're afraid of hell). I mean, in a way I'm extremely depressed, but at the same time I kinda feel great.

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

Yes I feel like that sometimes. But, I just ride it out, and usually i feel better at a later time. Also, I try to dress, which satisfies the urge, and calms me. I know its frustrating. Just try to enjoy it. I cannot say that I enjoy much else like I enjoy becoming a girl. Sometimes I wish I did.

[Deborah Jane]

Thank you everyone who posted here and sent me PMs..I don,t know what to say except thanks...:hugs::love:...I guess just being here and knowing people care is making a differance..Thank you for letting me let it out and thank you everyone for being there for me..You are my "true" friends..:love:Debs

Today is a new day...Today is the first day of the rest of my life!!
Wish me luck on my journey!!

[MJ]

debs,
i know how you feel with regards to your children i feel the same way every-time i had to take mine home it hurt . but remember when you have them no matter how crappy you feel try to give them a great time and let the children know you love them . and your friends well as long as you remember them with love they will always be with you in your heart :love:

[Carly D.]

I feel like I am at that point now.. that throwing everything away would be acceptable.. but I know that isn't a choice.. Carly is part of me, and I have accepted this fact.. weather anyone else could.. this I'm not sure of... I think back to when I was in high school and had so little in the way of pantyhose and now I have such a huge amount, and yet I feel like the "good old days" were maybe a little more acceptable.. to me I think if I were to come out of the closet that the amount of clothing that I do have now would cause a freak out of mammoth proportion.. I feel like I can explain away the clothes I have up to the third skirt.. then it would be dicey...

[Bobby Anne]

I think J-Lo had enough. She made a pretty terrible movie about it.

I've certainly had enough ... Lemme tell ya about how my life has gone in the past year.

My windshield got cracked by a rock. I lost my job. My car got broken into (of course they broke out a window, and it rained for a week immediately following the break-in). My fiancee left me. I became suicidal and was so freaked out I got my parents to pay for me to get therapy. My phone got shut off. My electric got shut off and killed some really nice fish I had. I had to borrow money from my parents to keep from getting evicted (not cool at my age). I got a decent summer job driving a truck but I wasn't getting many hours...

I got a bogus $130 speeding ticket the week of my birthday from a back-woods cop who was 30 min. away from his jurisdiction. They wouldn't tell me my court date; they said they'd mail it to me, which they didn't, so of course I missed my court date which resulted in me getting my license suspended and a warrant block on my registration so I couldn't renew my plates. So I couldn't renew my plates until this corrupt court mailed me a reinstatement letter after I sent them double the price of the ticket ($260). While I waited for them, I got two more tickets for expired tags and almost thrown in jail. After the registration block was cleared I had to pay more fees and drive 2 hours out of town to get my license/registration reinstated.

I was dating another girl, but began to realize she was totally insane, then found out that she had actually been committed to a mental hospital three times. The bigger problem is that she was still obsessed with her ex-husband. My car got broken into a second time, of course stealing my stereo again and breaking one of my windows again and damaging the locks again. I got a new job but it barely pays more than minimum wage. I was dating an old high school friend who's great and I've always liked, but I really shouldn't have been because her husband died six months ago and she's totally unstable. She's got the most beautiful 2-year-old, though.

I feel pretty lonely and empty, and there are 3 different girls who want to date me, but I've dated all of them before, and two of them told me to get lost. They don't want me. They're just lonely themselves. And the relationships were stressful anyway. So I'm pretty OK where I'm at. I guess I'm depressed, but I'm not going to kill myself, since the porn on my computer and fake boobs in my closet would probably make my mom kill herself, and even if I got rid of that stuff, well, people would be pretty upset. I think once you're depressed for long enough, you realize that none of it really matters, and it's extremely liberating (unless you have religious hang-ups where you want to kill yourself but you're afraid of hell). I mean, in a way I'm extremely depressed, but at the same time I kinda feel great.

Sheesh...and you call me self loathing!
Wake up and smell the coffee Girlie.

[MonicaDD]

I have had my share of things go wrong in my life and have asked myself that very question, but unless you are suicidal , like I have been, you just put your head up and move on, life is always going to put challenges in front of you, but its what your moral core is made out of,or what you want it to be, that determines how you deal with it.
Enough is never enough, give me the "Good,the Bad and the Ugly" and I will take what I want and kick the rest out of my way.
Believe in and trust yourself, you are the only one you can count on. :love: Monica.