Caught at work!!!!!

[KateW]

Hi all,

Last night after work I decided to relax and get fully dressed up, makeup included. I did of course take it all off before bed with cleanser and toner and went to sleep.

This morning at work I was speaking with a male friend who works in the HR Dept. Then in came his young female colleague, who is also the resident gossip. She took one look at me and said "It looks like you're wearing makeup". I froze on the spot but tried to not not show any reaction to her, even though fear had very quickly set in. My mind was racing. I was SURE I'd taken my makeup all off last night. But I was pretty tired. I have only ever been caught before by my mum before and at the time offered no explanation (feel free to read my intro at the bottom of my profile). So with no other game plan in mind I simply shrugged my shoulders and said "Does it?".

I then nervously turned to my male colleague to see what his reaction to what she'd said was. Before I could say anything, he cut in and said to her "I don't think there is anything wrong with a man wanting to look his best for work with a bit of makeup". At this point I breathed a sigh of relief and his light hearted comment seemed to defuse the tension I was feeling. I then quickly changed the subject and continued to talk for a further few minutes so it didn't seem like I was running out.

At this point I still didn't really know what makeup she was talking about so was sure not to make eye contact or strike up conversation with anyone. I walked straight past my desk and went into the bathroom. I turned around and she was still watching me walking down the corridor and must have realised that I was going to check.

Sure enough, I still had little bits of eyeliner / mascara how many round my eyes. Aside from feeling a bit stupid for taking it off when I was half asleep and probably in poor lighting, I wondered how many other people I'd spoken to or noticed it that morning. I'm not sure whether the guy thought she was joking, or just doing his HR job and making me feel comfortable. Either way, I am very glad that he did as I couldn't think of any good explanation at the time. I have thought of several since, but thats always the way, isn't it!

While the girl made no further mention of it all day, their other colleague (who I usually don't talk to very often) came up to my desk this afternoon and struck up quite a lengthy conversation. I can only assume that she mentioned it to him and he came to see for himself. Fortunately by this point I had removed it all but he still seemed rather chirpy about something...

There is a very good chance that this will spread around our very large, male populated offices. Only time will tell, but to be perfectly honest with you, I'm not sure that I mind.

Anyway thanks for reading, and giving me the confidence that I never would have had before I started coming here.

Kate xxxx

[Emily Ann Brown]

Dear, did anyone mention the red nail polish???????


Emily Ann

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Kate

You never know the friend from HR may have spoken to her about gossiping

All you can do is wait and hope

:hugs:

[mishelle379]

happenned to me before as well

[Tamara Croft]

You should go into work and wear a bit more, properly too... and give the nosey mare something to really talk about. Seriously.. does she have nothing better to do? I wouldn't worry about it... infact I really would wear more mascara for work and ask her if she likes it :heehee:

[Nicole Erin]

I knew where it was gong as soon as you said "resident gossip"

I wonder if it would be rough to be a CD working in an office. YOu have to present all corporate looking and stuff.
I work on the production floor and we can look however we want pretty much.

[KatrinaAshley]

I must say this is why I am nervous of getting into makeup. There's always the chance to miss something and I can't have that happen to me. I'd pass out. You can scrub your face well, but the eyes are a sensitive area. I hope that someday I'll get over it, during a weekend where there is plenty of extra time for it to rub off.

[KrissyTN]

Sounds like the office needs a bit more of a femme touch!!

I wouldn't worry too much about it. If the girl is not gossiping about this it's something else anyway! Just relax and act like it's no big deal and that will take all of the fun out of it. Or maybe you should have responded something like "yeah, it's so tough to get that out isn't it?" or "I usually only use it on weekends, but last night was special." Stuff like that. :)

Katrina, there are some fantastic products to remove eye makeup quickly. I use a product by clinique and it works great. 2 swipes with it and you can't see a trace of makeup.

Another trick that I've learned over the years is to always have a fresh clean face. I use Jurlique or some of the Kiehl's products and use the micro wash, then moisturizer every day. If you always have healthy looking skin and you have to use makeup remover, I think it's less noticeable at work.

Krissy

[Nigella]

Why worry about it, lots of fellers wear make-up nowadays.

I always say that whilst the gossiper is talking about me, they are leaving some other poor sod alone. :)

[heidi99]

Yup, getting caught at work is a pretty real fear. Although, to get my current gig, I DID tell my contracting boss, as well as the gaining company's HR person, and both of them said not a big deal.

I guess all one can do if it becomes known to the general population at work is to keep your personal integrity and not be too afraid, and rely on the other aspects of you personality to be "redeeming", if that is the appropriate word. If you're a good worker, and easy to be around, most people will take it in stride and continue on with their work. And the others that act the fool? Well, there are laws that prevent them from creating a hostile work environment (at least in the States.) Regardless, the task for you is to not allow them to point your attention at yourself (questioning your worth.) If they succeed in doing that, they win (because if you are engaged in self examination, then you won't have time to make note of ALL OF THEIR WARTS!)

Keep on smiling, for everything will be alright. :hugs:

[trannie T]

Kate, did you copy my story? I too got caught at work right after Halloween. I handled it calmly and professionally, terrified I ran to the bathroom, washed, then hid in my office the rest of the day. Nobody ever mentioned anything more about it.

[AmandaM]

If you're quite nervous about it, look up the name of a local goth bar, then if it's mentioned, you can tell them you're a goth.

[Priscilla Ann]

To me this is another example of the fact that some people don't have enough to do at work. Just how close does one have to be to notice what I assume was a hint of makeup and why would she care enough to mention it except in hopes of embarrassing you? I think this is just another example of a person that doesn't have enough going on in their own life.

[DeniseK]

To me this is another example of the fact that some people don't have enough to do at work. Just how close does one have to be to notice what I assume was a hint of makeup and why would she care enough to mention it except in hopes of embarrassing you? I think this is just another example of a person that doesn't have enough going on in their own life.

You are so right with that. She needs to get a life instead of wasting time annoying others.

[Alice B]

Just ignore it and go about your life as normal. Anything else just givers her what she wants. Something to talk about and to stir things up.

[Rachel Morley]

I guess you'll probably remember to make sure you use some eye makeup remover on a q-tip next time huh? :p (btw did you know that vaseline on a q-tip works quite well in an emergency if you have no eye makeup remover) ... anyway, I think you came out of it rather well, and with no long lasting side effects (hopefully).

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

maybe the HR guy wasnt sure about how he seen u and with her big mouth hes pretty sure he was reading u right and may be wanting to find out more about u or is a cd in the closet himself :2c:

[Sally2005]

...you were working on your car and had grease on your eye, leaking ball point pen on your hand and you got it on your face, your partner thought it was funny to do to you when you were sleeping etc, etc... basically, we gotta get rid of the guilt reaction and react with confidence! ...after cleaning it, you should have came back and said, 'thanks, I think I got it all, do you see any more?, It sure did look like makeup what ever it was...'.

[Andine]

She is obviously keeping her eye on you, and she probably has been doing so for a while. If women don't like you they tend to ignore your presence, and certainly wont be looking into your eyes.
If she is aproachable to you, buy her a coffee and bring the conversation around nicely to your excuse ... like grease in your eyes from under the car or something ( at least believable ), and then tell her that it got you thinking about your next party, and as she is so observant ... would she consider helping you to learn how to do it? You never know what a bit of flattery can do.

You might actually strike it rich and find she likes you doing it.
Nothing ventured nothing gained.

regards

[Emma England]

Why not wear bright red lipstick and give her a pout? :heehee:

[Shelly67]

If she ( or anyone ) openly spreads the word about you and it becomes in anyway either uncomfortable or nasty , tell you immediate supervisor / manager you feel as tho ethical codes are being broken at the cost of personal harrasment . It will stop . They have a duty for youre well being . and , I assume they do not want any of theyre employees placed under such stress , resulting in work time loses.
If you were wearing make up or not , let alone remains , she had no right to openly challenge you .She certainly would report you for such a remark.
If , however , things tend to smooth over , keep yourself to yourself .I certainly would put a distance with such a person , keeping to office chat , with good humour but not giving the slightest hint of my personal lifestyles.
keep youre chin up , be proud , and smile -
Good luck

[Dalece]

She probably knows you look better than her. But good work on your part.

[Mollyanne]

You should go into work and wear a bit more, properly too... and give the nosey mare something to really talk about. Seriously.. does she have nothing better to do? I wouldn't worry about it... infact I really would wear more mascara for work and ask her if she likes it :heehee:

Actually I'm with Tamara on this one!!!!!! I wear a bit of mascara and eyebrow pencil to work everyday & no one has said anything to me.


:love: Mollyanne

[Annie D]

Gossips do so in order to feel powerful and in control. We all have come across a nosy noodle in our lives who likes to tell tales and give us inside information about someone or something while at the same time, tries to get us to open up and give them ammunition for the next firing. If you are in a male dominated environment, most of them will blow off what they are told! That, I think, is one of our best qualities. If she spreads the word to other women, I think that women are more understanding! That, I think, is one of our best qualities! Give it time. By the time you go back to work on Monday, so many things will have happened, that you will old news. You will be the one who remembers the incident the most and hopefully you are accepting of yourself and I think that you are. She may recall it when she sees you but that will be all. She will recall something about someone else when she sees them. My bet is that the third party in your incident won't worry about it.

Relax! Is that the outline of a bra that I see under your shirt?

[morgan51]

my eyeliner is tattooed on and a little color too. I don't get too many inquires and have no negative comments at least to my face. Morgan

[Julogden]

I once had an experience many years ago at work when a male co-worker asked me about makeup traces that he thought he had seen on me, and I didn't know what to say. I was astounded when another male co-worker, a friend of mine, jumped in and said that it's probably because I was in a band and it's common for performers to wear makeup when they're on stage.

Nothing more was ever said, and I stupidly never knew how to bring up my friend's defense of me with him, but I was thankful to him.

Carol

[Raya]

maybe the HR guy wasnt sure about how he seen u and with her big mouth hes pretty sure he was reading u right and may be wanting to find out more about u or is a cd in the closet himself :2c:


Gossips do so in order to feel powerful and in control. We all have come across a nosy noodle in our lives who likes to tell tales and give us inside information about someone or something while at the same time, tries to get us to open up and give them ammunition for the next firing. If you are in a male dominated environment, most of them will blow off what they are told! That, I think, is one of our best qualities. If she spreads the word to other women, I think that women are more understanding! That, I think, is one of our best qualities! Give it time. By the time you go back to work on Monday, so many things will have happened, that you will old news. You will be the one who remembers the incident the most and hopefully you are accepting of yourself and I think that you are. She may recall it when she sees you but that will be all. She will recall something about someone else when she sees them. My bet is that the third party in your incident won't worry about it.

Relax! Is that the outline of a bra that I see under your shirt?

IAWTCs.

It looks to me like it's all going to blow over, but assuming it doesn't, DON'T PANIC. This could turn out to be a tragedy, but it could also become an opportunity. It's not every day that John Q. Corporate gets to meet a cross-dresser. Your attitude will have a big effect on what impression they make of you (and by extension the rest of us). If you go back in there carrying yourself like it's something to be ashamed of, it will make it a lot easier for people to "agree" with you.

Don't make excuses and don't feel sorry for yourself. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt; you might be pleasantly surprised.

Good Luck, and please keep us updated!

[KateW]

Hi all,

Just a little update. I went back to work today and determined to seem indifferent to last week's public outing, I walked straight back into the HR office first thing this morning and struck up another conversation! Nothing was said of the makeup incident and they all seemed very chatty.

Ironically, their other colleague (who had come over to talk to me the previous afternoon) had a sports related accident over the weekend and got hit in the face. His eye was pretty purple and bruised and the girl made a point of saying to me that it looked like he was wearing makeup. I commented that I thought he'd overdone the eyeshadow on one side and should've used a mirror! She laughed and nothing more was said. I think its safe to say that she knows though! :heehee:

Kate xxx

[KateSpade83]

In my past work experiences, - bad things happen to you when they discover you CD. I didn't last at many jobs because of it, and I fear they all spied on me after work. This is why I take anti paranoia medicine [Geodon].

[KateW]

Up until now I have been pretty careful. Don't worry about work spying on you. x

[Nicolette01]

I would say don't worry about it anymore unless approached on it.

[Aeslyn]

The goth excuse... excellent. I have known many manly men to wear nail polish and eyeliner, some of them not even goth, to fit in with the goth scene and pick up goth girl.

Personally though, I'd ignore it, just like I did my friends offer of lipstick.

If you pay attention to a rumor or the work of a gossiper you only give it credit. If you ignore it, it really will go away. This mostly works cause the one spreading the story only wants to bother you and will stop if it looks like they aren't. This does take something of a thick skin, I'll admit. Aeslyn wouldn't be able to handle it at all, but Will could.

[JoAnnDallas]

Could always say your been moonlighting as a host on a local cable show. Everyone knows moive and TV folks all wear makeup.

[UASIANGAL]

As long as you don't admit or deny anything, they'll always be guessing and eventually get bored and forget it all. I get lots of ppl wonder if I wear eyeliner because I have dark long lashes above and below my eyes. Even my girl's friends asks her about it! I just take that as a compliment.

[CrossdressinGoth]

Well, its nice to hear that things are well with this at work. Do what you feel comfortable doing is what I say is best. If you dont feel comfortable admiting it, dont, if you do, go for it. Follow your heart on calls like that and in the long run, you can never make the wrong choice.

[goofus]

Hi all,

Last night after work I decided to relax and get fully dressed up, makeup included. I did of course take it all off before bed with cleanser and toner and went to sleep.

This morning at work I was speaking with a male friend who works in the HR Dept. Then in came his young female colleague, who is also the resident gossip. She took one look at me and said "It looks like you're wearing makeup". I froze on the spot but tried to not not show any reaction to her, even though fear had very quickly set in. My mind was racing. I was SURE I'd taken my makeup all off last night. But I was pretty tired. I have only ever been caught before by my mum before and at the time offered no explanation (feel free to read my intro at the bottom of my profile). So with no other game plan in mind I simply shrugged my shoulders and said "Does it?".

I then nervously turned to my male colleague to see what his reaction to what she'd said was. Before I could say anything, he cut in and said to her "I don't think there is anything wrong with a man wanting to look his best for work with a bit of makeup". At this point I breathed a sigh of relief and his light hearted comment seemed to defuse the tension I was feeling. I then quickly changed the subject and continued to talk for a further few minutes so it didn't seem like I was running out.

At this point I still didn't really know what makeup she was talking about so was sure not to make eye contact or strike up conversation with anyone. I walked straight past my desk and went into the bathroom. I turned around and she was still watching me walking down the corridor and must have realised that I was going to check.

Sure enough, I still had little bits of eyeliner / mascara how many round my eyes. Aside from feeling a bit stupid for taking it off when I was half asleep and probably in poor lighting, I wondered how many other people I'd spoken to or noticed it that morning. I'm not sure whether the guy thought she was joking, or just doing his HR job and making me feel comfortable. Either way, I am very glad that he did as I couldn't think of any good explanation at the time. I have thought of several since, but thats always the way, isn't it!

While the girl made no further mention of it all day, their other colleague (who I usually don't talk to very often) came up to my desk this afternoon and struck up quite a lengthy conversation. I can only assume that she mentioned it to him and he came to see for himself. Fortunately by this point I had removed it all but he still seemed rather chirpy about something...

There is a very good chance that this will spread around our very large, male populated offices. Only time will tell, but to be perfectly honest with you, I'm not sure that I mind.

Anyway thanks for reading, and giving me the confidence that I never would have had before I started coming here.

Kate xxxx

Well, it's good that you're comfortable enough with yourself that you don't mind - congratulations, you've made progress :happy: