What to talk about?

[stayfrosty55]

Being only an admirer and not a crossdresser seems to be a little hard to start a discussion going. I can't relate to how hard it is to walk like a woman or how much I want a sex change really, but I do want to try talking because I don't want to just be thought of as some horney guy trying to get laid. I know this site is mainly for crossdressers, but I urge more topics to come out for admirers and friends of crossdressers too. This is a big interest and I am honored to have transgendered friends all over the country. Maybe someone more clever then me could think of something that admirers could talk about with crossdressers

[Julie York]

At least you are honest . Good for you.

As to topics?....No idea. If the idea is to better understand then just ask any question you really want to know. I'm sure plenty of people will answer.

[biddy]

I can imagine that there must be issues for admirers as there are for persons in all stages of CDing, and their children, wives, mums, dads, friends, employers, society in general. I imagine the ony contacts we all have that could not care less would be our pets, another thing we have to learn from them ;) Any-way my point being talk about what ever you see as needs addressing in your world you'll get replies :)

[Amelie]

You can talk about anything you like. What would be interesting to here from you is, what do you look for in a CD? Since you admire Cds, what do you admire? What type of look do you like? Are you interested in a relationship with a CD? What clubs do you go to,,to meet CDs?
There are many topics for you to start, just think of a question and ask away.
Amelie

[Melissa A.]

Suggested topics:

What crossdressers think about:

-The federal defecit
-Area 51
-Gnomes
-workplace safety
-London vs. New York: who has the best sex shops?
-Hydroponic Gardening
-Ant farming
-Jello wrestling
-Sewing
-Is Fox news really fair and balanced?
-Is Rush Limbaugh really a big fat idiot?
-Is Al Franken really good enough, smart enough?
-Asphalt paving & pothole filling
-Brittany Spears for President!
-What's a widget?
-Crossdressing

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[Amelie]

Psssst... Melissa, I am going to whisper this, so don't tell anyone.

CDs also talk about religion.

[DonnaT]

Maybe a visit to http://www.reneereyes.com/Webdocs/mtbars.html will bring up some questions you might have.

[mand]

I once did a thread on another site asking what advice could anyone give to admirers when talking/meeting Tgirls, oh my god did that caues some arguements. I did it to help a guy out who was getting a load of grief off the girls whenever he posted, well after he saw the reaction on the thread he left the site.

I myself have nothing against admirers what so ever but then again I would love GRS and as for sexuality ........... well lets just say I'm open to offers ;)
So I cannot speak for anyone else and I would never try to.

My only qualm with Frosty is you're age love I mean you're 18? I think, and I'm a granny so I think there would be a bit of a difference in starting a conversation due to the age never mind anything else.

I'm sure some of the girls around you're age would have more in common in the first place to start a conversation.

love mand xxx

[Marianne]

Being only an admirer and not a crossdresser seems to be a little hard to start a discussion going. I can't relate to how hard it is to walk like a woman or how much I want a sex change really, but I do want to try talking because I don't want to just be thought of as some horney guy trying to get laid. I know this site is mainly for crossdressers, but I urge more topics to come out for admirers and friends of crossdressers too. This is a big interest and I am honored to have transgendered friends all over the country. Maybe someone more clever then me could think of something that admirers could talk about with crossdressers

Well, you get several 'brownie' points for being open and honest from the get-go. :)

You're swimming 'against the tide' in several ways tho, but I think you realise that.

There are a slew of 'obstacles' for you to deal with, in no particular order here are a few that spring to mind.

1. Fear. Many cross-dressers live a life of fear, fear of discovery, fear of rejection, fear of walking into the wrong bar and getting the crap beaten out of them, fear of being pulled over for a minor traffic violation and ending up being locked in a jail cell because of lack of 'proper identification' (and jail cells are *not* a pleasant place for a guy wearing a wig, makeup, a dress, heels and stockings!).

2. Distrust and paranioa. While I can't speak for anyone else, I am always distrustful of 'straight' males who 'come on strong' on the internet. Unlike many of the girls here I'm bi-sexual, so I don't get all freaked out if a male pays me a compliment, but many 'girls' just don't feel comfortable with that aspect. There *are* a lot of wierdo people on the internet, ranging from 'harmless teenage pranksters' who frequent chat-rooms and get a kick out of 'playing' us, to guys who would 'stalk' us for nefarious reasons. (I know what horny males are capable of, after all I spend most of my lifetime as one!).

3. Lack of common ground. I gather you're 18 years old. I'm 50. Ignore the crossdressing for a moment and ask yourself what 'common ground' we could possibly have to talk about. While we might have some interests in common, our musical tastes probably differ, our life experiences certainly differ, our choice in television, movies, books and so on probably differs. I can be somewhat of a 'reverse ageist', since I've 'been there and done that' (and got the scars to prove it!).

4. Xenophobia (see also #1). It's a hard instinct to overcome. The fear of those that are 'different'. Add the 'herd' instinct (a.k.a 'clique mentality'). Most of the 'herd' here are crossdressers or folks with SO's that are TG, or folks with a 'herd' instinct that draws us together to protect our 'sisters' from external 'threats'. 'Admirers' are seen by many as an 'external threat', akin to religious fundamentalists, gay-bashers, drunken rednecks, bigots and gang-bangers.

No amount of reading can prepare, train or educate you to truly understand some of the most 'basic' challenges that we 'girls' face, deal with and overcome on a day-to-day basis. I'll use your example of 'walk like a woman' as an example of what I mean by that. There are several aspects to 'walking like a woman' that can only be learned by experience (and practice, practice, practice, and possibly training!). First is purely a balance and physical coordination challenge. Balancing on 3" ( or higher!) stilleto heels, it's as challenging as ice-skates (and more painful when you get it wrong!). Then there's the bodily motion, swinging the legs from the hips and rotatiing, something that comes naturally for someone born female (because of the wider pelvic girdle) but something that's counter-instinctive for a male. Then there's the lifetime of conditioning to overcome, men walk with a 'swagger' that's completely different to how women walk. Finally, there's the 'runway' walk, something that women learn (and constantly practice), but which is not only counter-instinctive for a male, but can also be painful (there are a few dangly bits which get in the way!).

Then there's the 'environment', a.k.a. 'Keep on topic'. Even if you *did* find 'common ground' to talk about, it probably wouldn't be on topic here (perhaps the 'general forum' tho).

Finally, there's the 'distinguish yourself from the crowd' thing. The internet is full of 'horny young males'. Your challenge is to *prove* that you are different. It's not *my* job to teach you how to do that. If I were to write 'The horny young males guide to picking up tranny chicks on the net" then most of the girls here would be beating my apartment door down while waving pitchforks and torches and yelling "burn her! burn her!"... :)

Either that or the 'fundies' would have me arrested (See also #3 above, I'm not *really* an 'ageist', but getting too friendly with an 18 year old on the net hits points #1 and #2 above as well).

[Marianne]

I once did a thread on another site asking what advice could anyone give to admirers when talking/meeting Tgirls, oh my god did that caues some arguements.

*points at Mand*

*waves pitchfork*

Burn her! Burn her!

*surreptitously sneaks to the back of the crowd and runs away*

(See my last paragraph in my last post!)
:)

[Brandy_Marie]

Okay, so Marianne got me back for earlier. Frosty, she brings up some very good points, and you'd do well to memorize all of them. But then, you already knew that, because you listened when you were told to "respect your elders" as a child, didn't you? ;)

Putting aside the paranoia and the suspicion for a moment, it's great to hear from people like yourself, if you're real and being truthful with us. We could use more people in this world outside of our normal circles that are not only willing to accept us, but actually glad to have us around.

Good luck,
Brandy Marie Devereaux

[Marianne]

Okay, so Marianne got me back for earlier.

;)


Frosty, she brings up some very good points, and you'd do well to memorize all of them. But then, you already knew that, because you listened when you were told to "respect your elders" as a child, didn't you? ;)

If he didn't , I can whup his ass! :)


Putting aside the paranoia and the suspicion for a moment, it's great to hear from people like yourself, if you're real and being truthful with us. We could use more people in this world outside of our normal circles that are not only willing to accept us, but actually glad to have us around.


Well said, I think we're 'even' again!

[ToxicDisneyGoddess]

Is frosty cute?? :") neways im open to ne questions u have :P

[Marianne]

StayFrosty, how about telling us how good we look?

We really like that in a man. Shows that they're looking.

Ohhhh, oh!

He could send flowers, chocolates, diamonds and a shiny new Porsche Carrera GT too! I really like generosity in a man! Shows that they care!

[Maude]

Ohhhh, oh!

He could send flowers, chocolates, diamonds and a shiny new Porsche Carrera GT too! I really like generosity in a man! Shows that they care!

hmm
we have a winner ?
and it's not a pope
the HUMILITY crown again please !

Marianne
i SINCERELY luv your posts,
maude

[Marianne]

hmm
we have a winner ?
and it's not a pope
the HUMILITY crown again please !

Marianne
i SINCERELY luv your posts,
maude

Why thankyou!

but, I don't deserve that crown!

(very off topic, but my usual response in chatrooms when some guuy offers to buy me a drink...

"That's very sweet, I'll take a case of Chateaux La'Frite 57, have it placed in my car!"

Said wine being in short supply and running about 30k per bottle...)

[Maude]

Why thankyou!

but, I don't deserve that crown!

(very off topic, but my usual response in chatrooms when some guuy offers to buy me a drink...

"That's very sweet, I'll take a case of Chateaux La'Frite 57, have it placed in my car!"

Said wine being in short supply and running about 30k per bottle...)

it's "lafite" (rothschild)
send car to my trailer in daytona !
the address is 1 AIA

[Tristen Cox]

Suggested topics:

What crossdressers think about:

-The federal defecit
-Area 51
-Gnomes
-workplace safety
-London vs. New York: who has the best sex shops?
-Hydroponic Gardening
-Ant farming
-Jello wrestling
-Sewing
-Is Fox news really fair and balanced?
-Is Rush Limbaugh really a big fat idiot?
-Is Al Franken really good enough, smart enough?
-Asphalt paving & pothole filling
-Brittany Spears for President!
-What's a widget?
-Crossdressing

Hugs,

Melissa :)

You forgot mud wrestling with Jerry Springer ;)

[Marianne]

[QUOTE=Maude]it's "lafite" (rothschild)
/QUOTE]

I stand corrected. :)

http://www.forbes.com/2003/11/19/cx_np_1119feat.html

[Jen_TGCD]

Being only an admirer and not a crossdresser seems to be a little hard to start a discussion going.

...but I urge more topics to come out for admirers and friends of crossdressers too. This is a big interest and I am honored to have transgendered friends all over the country. Maybe someone more clever then me could think of something that admirers could talk about with crossdressers
Hi, Frosty guy...

This site is "A Community for Crossdressers and Their Admirers" and it is kind of strange that there are not more of you here... posting. So... thank you for having the courage to speak up!

My suggestion is to try adding to the threads that are already started. There are many (a lot, actually) that really don't deal directly with crossdressing. Like movies, cars, pets... or even sexuality and dating... where you can participate. The idea is to get to know the people here... to socialize, instead of "separating" yourself. This is a "Community" of people that have crossdressing as central focus... but you can see that there are many interests that are expressed here.

IMPORTANT>>> The GGs are Admirers, too... and they contribute with ideas and thoughts, when they can, and ask questions when they want opinions.

Also... An Admirers best asset, from a TGs point of view, is knowledge!!! You may think this is about you... but it's really about US!!! :D The more you know about how TGs feel, what they have gone through, their fears, their joys... the more confident you will feel and that will be considered a compliment from those girls you encounter in the future.

And finally... TGs generally love to be complimented... but most would rather have your respect!!! Being here is a very good place to be... to learn... to grow!

This is a great group and we will help you out as much as possible... if you are really serious about what you said in your post!!!

Take care... and good luck!!!

[Anna]

Melissa you almost forgot...we love talking about ourselves...err...whilst mud wrestling,Tristen?! :D

[stayfrosty55]

I honestly never expected to recieve so many replies so fast! I am overwhelemed with so many good topics and choices that I couldnt' possibly go wrong. I think the best thing to start off with is about myself right? It is true I am 18, which makes me a great deal younger and so my interests will be most likely different from the much older CD/TV/TS. I do indeed find crossdressers to be attractive, but not in the simple fashion of devoting my time to get one into bed with me. What do I find attractive about crossdressers? Well for one thing it seems every single one on this site is so darn cute :) Its more then looks though. I was told earlier about not knowing what crossdressers go through and the fears they face. Well I do understand part of that, because that is what makes them so much more attractive. I may not know how scary it is to be stuck in a jail wearing women's clothes, but I can imagine how much it courage and determination it can take to wear clothes in public. To be seen by so many people in women's clothes, that takes alot of determination and bravery that is respectable in itself. How many people in the world would have the courage to wear women's clothing in public for even a day? Not enough if you ask me :p . I do look for crossdresser friends in the area and in other places as well. I would love to have everyone on this forum to consider me a friend of theirs. I would by lying if I said I never considered dressing myself like a woman, but I think I will wait until I am older and live alone for the privacy, or maybe if I find some close friends who gave me support in doing it.

[kaylia]

You really have the wrong mindset going in tg people are the same as anyone else you talk about what you would talk to anyone else about. CD or TG isn't a foreign language. Most girls don't want to be treated any differently just like any other girl. Do that and you'll be fine.

Hugs Kaylia