Transparency

[Aeslyn]

Wow, I am usually quite the odd guy all the time. Yet I do have this commanding, influential, and often intimidating presence when I am just a guy. Sure, I have a sensitive side and anyone who gets to know me sees that. But now I have to start wondering if that is becoming transparent and if people can see the girl behind that even when I don't feel her lurking around in there.

I work in the public sector sometimes and know the ladies at work very well - I mention them and not the guys who are friends of mine only cause it seems to be only the girls on when I am called in. One of them, an outreach worker, is a close acquaintance of mine. Though a very sensitive man in her presence I am also always very masculine... or so I thought.

Tonight, when she was leaving work. I came across her applying lipstick. I made some off hand comment about her having to apply make up just to drive home and was stunned when she held it out and saying, "want some?"

This might have just been in jest... but... It's certainly got me wondering.

Of course, as much of man mode as I was in tonight, I wanted to accept her offer.

How many of you have had this happen? Been certain that that side of you was not visible to a group of people just to have that certainty called into doubt by a similar situation?

[Kate Simmons]

LOL, I'm very unpretentious as Rich. When I get a comment like that I go with it and play it for all it's worth. This is why I get along with the gals so well as they know I can laugh at myself and don't have such a fragile male ego and don't feel threatened by such a comment.:happy:

[Val Tan]

This reminds me of a comment a gal friend made over IM. I'm pretty guy-ish normally, not the macho, sports-jock kind, but definitely not the soft, effeminate guy. So the thing is one day we were chatting on IM and joking around when she said that I was such a girlie inside. She was just teasing me, but it was such a weird feeling, especially if she really knew what I was wearing then.:heehee:

[mishelle379]

yesthereis

[Dalece]

I know the feeling well. I seem to get a long better with women than I do men. And my gesters are more femine. My GG girlfriend could see the woman inside me. And has helped to bring her out stronger. But the feeling is that I believe women see it in us. This has been the situation all my life.

[tamarav]

I see nothing at all wrong with being a less than boisterous male, arguing with other males about being right and always having to top their story. I simply smile inside and go on with life. I have an inner secret that they don't and usually my independence seems to make a mark.

Now that all my neighbors know about me, waving to me as I drive dressed to work, I was concerned (but not very much) that they would simply avoid me and never talk to me. Quite the opposite. Now when I am outside under a car or working on something guy mode they will often stop and ask a mechanical question or drop by to talk. It invariably turns to asking why I dress and I simply tell them I can work better in my new chosen profession and it is the real me. One of my most macho Navy neighbors who openly is homo-phobic (and obviously thinks tht all men who wear dresses are gay) and can't understand my story, stops by to chat and tell me he thinks I am "Wierd". I look up to him and laugh and tell him he is the idiot for being in the Navy. Usually ends the discussion and we go on being friends, of sorts.

Screw em if they can't take a joke.

Tami

[JoAnnDallas]

Last Thanksgiving, four of the girls in the front office found out that I have acrylic nails and polish my toes. Since then they have addressed me as "Dear", "Seetie", "Huney", and a couple more. I feel they treat me more like one of them, than they do any other male in the company. At least once or twice a week, I will be sitting in the lunch room and one or more of them will come and sit with me or if they are already in the lunch room will signal me to join them. Occasionally they will ask what color my toes are and jsut yesterday one of them looked at my nails and said, "honey you need a fill". I told her I was making a nail salon appointment for this Saturday. They always talk girl talk around me and seem to treat me like one of the girls.

[charlie]

My problem in male mode is that I can slip out of it and talk about makeup, how clothes look or what great shoes someone has. I would never have done that before a year ago. The hard line between the fem mode and male mode I guess breaks down over time.