Busted good and proper

[Edwina]

So I was standing in the bathroom yesterday afternoon in skirt and bra taking off my makeup when I hear a female voice calling out “hello”. Thinking it was someone at the door I stepped out of the bathroom to hear better and there was my wife in the lounge home from work about 1 ½ hrs early. When she realized what I was wearing she just said “Oh!” and went into the kitchen. I gathered she didn’t want to see more and I quickly changed. When I went through I said “sorry about that, you are early” she said “that’s all right” and kissed me hello as normal. And that was that. I am really sorry that that is now the image in her mind, I would much rather she had seen me fully dressed!

I don’t know what to make of it at all. Sometimes I think I should try to talk about it and at other times, I am sure I should leave matters as they stand. It is clear she doesn’t have a problem with me dressing but, at this point, has no interest in knowing the details.

All I am sure of is that I didn’t feel embarrassed about the situation, I even joked about the skirt being cooler and more comfortable than the shorts I had just put on. She smiled slightly and said she was sure it was.

Well that is where things stand for now. I am going to continue to dress and even maybe go out when it is not so hot and windy. If she is early again without warning I will assume she wants to know more. Hope I am dressed as a lady at that time. :heehee:

:love:
Edwina

[Shelly Preston]

I think you need to find out from her how much she wants to know

Just enough to get her to ask questions or make comments and see where things go from there

[Christina Louise]

Have you ever tried talking with your wife about dressing? Has she known about it over the years?

If you don't feel embarrassed about being caught and she hasn't been negative so far then sound her out, she might be waiting for an explanation from you. If she doesn't want to know then don't push it, but if she does feel like talking then you'll find out where you stand for better or worse.

But be prepared if it doesn't work out how you hope because she might have a lot of negative thoughts in her mind right now if this came as a complete surprise.

Maybe this is all too obvious that it didn't need saying but this could be the chance to clear the air.

[Mary Morgan]

I agree with Shelly and Christina. Try something like, " I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable the other day. If you were, then just call ahead when you are coming home early, and I'll be prepared". If she says she wasn't uncomfortable, that is a clue to talk about it with her. If she says okay, then you know what you need to do. Whatever the answer, do not push too hard. It sounds as though she is trying to accommodate your dressing and that is a good thing. OBTW, surprise her sometime by doing some of her tasks and tell her the "housekeeper" was here.

[MJ]

good advice so far. i take it your wife knows you dress then ?, before she saw you that is ...or was this her first time

[Sandra]

She's probably waiting for you to bring the subject up. It might be an idea to but do it gently and have honest answers ready for her questions. If it was me I would want to know more instead of walking in unexpectedly again.

[Laurelanne]

I have to agree with everyone else and Ive been so lucky that wife #2 understands and supports but it took awhile and its not all there yet Wife one on the other hand SAID it was OK but she wasnt ever really happy about it. and thats another ironic story in itself Good Luck hope it all works

[Edwina]

Sorry, if I my clarify, she does know because I told her the last time I messed up and I should have mentioned it to you this time. Here is what happened.
"Went home and dressed fully and had lunch. Spent the afternoon doing little of anything then around 4pm changed back to “normal” before my wife came home from work. Welcomed her as usual and went into the kitchen to make her a cool drink. At this point my blood ran cold as I heard her ask “Why do you have artificial breasts on the bed?” I must have looked like a deer caught in the car headlights but I looked her in the eye and said as calmly as I could “ I am a crossdresser, it is my hobby” She looked at me for a couple of seconds and then replied “Oh! OK” and went of to change. The rest of the evening passed as normal, we spoke normally, watched some TV as normal and we kissed goodnight as usual."

And that is exactly the situation now. I guess I will have to raise the subject gently and see where we go from there.

Thank you all for taking the time to write.

:love:

Edwina

[Vicky_Scot]

Hiya Edwina Hon

Fancy bumping into you here.

I have left you a response somewhere else on the web.

Nudge nudge....wink wink

Xx Vicky xX

[MissJ]

I'm new to the site (really new this is my first post) :D I am married to a wonderful man who CD's. I think that you should try talking about it to her (when you are dressed how she sees you daily) and asking her if she has questions about it. I had TONS of questions when my husband told me and i didn't know how to ask a lot of them without sounding rude or insensitive. Questions (please don't flame me) like is he gay? do i still turn him on? etc. She might be afraid to ask questions that she might see as ruining your marriage, just the same as you are afraid to let her know everything for fear of being alone (well my guess anyways)

I hope it goes well for you. I love my husband dearly but it took me awhile to really be confident that just because he has more nighties than I do he doesn't love me less

J

[breanna53]

So in a way it has come up, but you have never approached the subject with her. I think you should sit down with her in male mode and have a long talk with her. She most likely has a lot of questions and ideas going thru her mind. Some of those ideas can cause problems sometime. and its not like she does not know so some of the shock is gone. good luck

[Eugenie]

My wife caught me a few times "en femme" earlier on in our life. She knew I was crossdressing but every time it happened she really didn't like to see me, in fact she hated it.

Unfortunately she didn't want to speak about that subject in more than 35 years. She had told me to do what I wanted but "please lock the door of the bedroom".

It is only recently that we finaly spoke... And I really wish we could have done it a lot earlier... Not so much for me than for her. When we finaly talked I realized that I was the one who had a poor undrestanding ot the situation...

So my experience tells me that talking, with a lot of love implied, is essential.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[docrobbysherry]

U sound like me and my wife. We communicated about as well as u and your wife. Of course, we r divorced now-----
RS

[jamie55]

Hi Edwina: My first reaction was that your wife was in shock. After reading clear thru the thread before responding, I see that she already knew. Since she has known about your "hobby" and there hasn't been much talk about it I would be prepared for the pendulum to swing back the other way. Hopefully she will be willing to talk and try to learn. Do your homework! My situation is similar in some ways. My wife first saw me in a dress and just said oh and she went on as though nothing unusual had happened. After several years she still doesn't say much (at least not anything polite) even though I wear skirts and heels on a daily basis around the house. I think she is immune instead of accepting or even tolerant. I wish you well my friend. Oh by the way where is Limbo?

[StacyCD]

My SO has not seen me dressed yet. She is very good at calling before coming home so I have time to change. While this allows me a fair amount of 'me' time, sometimes I wish she would forget to call and 'catch' me dressed so we could take it to the 'next level.'

[Sinthia]

Oh by the way where is Limbo?[/QUOTE]

Jamie . . . It is in the state of confusion!


StacyCD . . . You could just not answer the phone when your wife calls and do not check the message machine . . . and you may get your wish!

[HalloweenDragon]

It sucks when that happens, because instead of a casual intro it's now kinda forced. My advice is this: sit her down and tell her you are just as uncomfortable as she may be due to where this all left off. Acting like it never happened ruins relationships. Tell her you need her to be as honest as your love, and you will be honest with your answers. See if there is a level she can live with, or if she can't live with it are you okay with that decision? :love:

This is one of those senarios that is difficult and tests a relationship. It's not easy, but I really hope you 2 can find a happy medium. You never know, one day she may ask you to dress up for her! But I would not let it go any further than soon. I don't know if I would say anything about a maid coming over and it's really you who cleaned up....I think thats opening a can of worms! :2c:

Tip: make sure she's in a good mood and well fed before you start!:heehee:

[Edwina]

Well, that plan flew like a lead ballon :(
I chose my moment carefully and explained about how sorry I was that she had to see me in such a stero-typical sitcom type situation and asked if she would a least look at a photo of me fully dressed. I got a emphatic shake of the head and a definite "No" in reply. Then she asked if I had been doing it for a long time and I replied to the effect that it had developed over the last few years but that I had had it in mind since I was very young.
She then asked me why I didn't do it before and I explained that there had never been an opportunity, what with boarding school then staying at the Y and from there into an early marriage. Plus there wasn't all that much talk about cd in those years, apart from derogatory comments about FBI head Edgar Hoover which tended to make one even more secretive . And that was the end of discussion.
We are as we have always been and I accept that with gratitude. I am disappointed of course but I am not going to push it. If she gets curious in the future I am prepared and I will take it from there.
The plus side for me is that she now knows for sure and that I am prepared to talk if she has any questions.

Thank you all for your responses you are truely wonderful.

:love:

Edwina

[Angie G]

Well Edwina your lucky she does not mind With some more luck you will be Abel to dress when she is home. I have been for almost 3 yeary now and love it. how long has this been going on be twin you and your wife:hugs:
Angie

[Tracy_Victoria]

U sound like me and my wife. We communicated about as well as u and your wife. Of course, we r divorced now-----
RS

Thats not really a helpful post, nor is it funny!

Edwina

RG have different levels of acceptance, my partner is fully aware of Tracy, but she has seen me dressed in the flesh just 3 or 4 times at the most. She is fully aware I dress like this, but it not something she is interested in.

We are trying to find a solution but after 15 years, it's been slow coming, however It's actually me that has difficulty in talking to her, she would prefer to know when I plan to dress, so that she know, so we now move ever slowly forward.

We have nearly teenage children, I work shifts, and she normal days, so time alone doesn't happen often, so we tried to pamper one another with facials massages, and just talk about the day. she has even asked to see some pictures of my next dressing session, not full ones, but with my head removed, and then she said we can try moving slowly on from there.

I would suggest you talk to your partner even though you drew a blank.Also don't forget there is a female section on this site where she can ask questions and hear from others like her, who have found out one way or another that there partner crossdresses. it's best to try to get her to understand the truth about this, over drawing her own conclutions, and coming up with some wrong answer.

Good luck

[Eileen]

Edwina I wish you all the best! Give her time to think and hopefully she will want to talk and try to understand more. Like your name!

Eileen

[Shelly67]

Well, that plan flew like a lead ballon :(
I chose my moment carefully and explained about how sorry I was that she had to see me in such a stero-typical sitcom type situation and asked if she would a least look at a photo of me fully dressed. I got a emphatic shake of the head and a definite "No" in reply. Then she asked if I had been doing it for a long time and I replied to the effect that it had developed over the last few years but that I had had it in mind since I was very young.
She then asked me why I didn't do it before and I explained that there had never been an opportunity, what with boarding school then staying at the Y and from there into an early marriage. Plus there wasn't all that much talk about cd in those years, apart from derogatory comments about FBI head Edgar Hoover which tended to make one even more secretive . And that was the end of discussion.
We are as we have always been and I accept that with gratitude. I am disappointed of course but I am not going to push it. If she gets curious in the future I am prepared and I will take it from there.
The plus side for me is that she now knows for sure and that I am prepared to talk if she has any questions.

Thank you all for your responses you are truely wonderful.

:love:

Edwina

Things could be worse . They could be better given time and a very slow process of considerate communication.

One thing bothers me tho , I imagine you,ll continue dressing - and I,m sure she probably is thinking the same . "When will he do it again - and will I catch him "? Perhaps its a little early to consider this , but is there some sort of agreed time alocated for you to transform enfemme alone , thus removing the deceit she may be concerned about ? At least it would be a more honest approach , hopefully developing into a more open communication for you both.
What ever happens , take it real slow , listen fully and what ever you do , dont stop reminding her of how you love her ....
Good luck.

[Edwina]

Angie, there has been no crossdressing interaction, this is a current happening.

Tracy, I will if she wants to talk in the future but she doesn't want to right now.

Thank you Eileen, that is what I am hoping for.

Mistress Michelle She knows I will as she has said she will phone ahead next time she leaves work early.

Once more thanks to you all

:love:

Edwina