Makayla C
01-30-2008, 09:50 PM
Hi all,
Well it's been a hell of a beggining to the year for myself, after finding out that a close friend has become terminally ill and another lost her life last week I've done alot of soul searching myself and come to the conclusion that life is too short to waste any more time lying to myself and the people that are closest to me.
So after much hesitation I decided to come clean to my lil brother on the person who I really are and was very well recieved and accepted by him which couldn't have made me happier.
A week later after taking in what i'd just done after 30 years of hiding away and realising it wasn't that bad after all, I decided to have lunch with my mum yesterday and tell her also.......well what a relief it was to learn than family will always be there for me after always thinking the worst case scenario.
My mum also told my Dad last night and I got a message from him saying that he will always be there for me regardless and nothing has changed, they have always and will still love me the same as always....
I think that we all feel as though we will instantly be rejected by our families and tend to build some very strong brick walls which no-one can penetrate though, even our loved ones because I was that good at it my family had no idea whatsoever.
I think it also put a bit of light onto the relationship i've had with my family for so long now regarding the type of private person i've become due to my fears of rejection so we tend to shut loved ones out at times.
This is something I can honestly say that 2 years ago I would have never even imagined that i'd be where I am now, I thought i'd die without ever telling anyone else other than my partner.
I now feel as someone has lifted 10 tonne of my shoulders and I'm never going to let it get to that point ever again, we need to live our lives in happiness not in fear as most of us do because we are not bad people just because we wan't to change our gender and be something society in general frowns upon.
Well after all that I also got some more good news out of yesterday, I ended up landing a job i've been trying to get into for a while which will give me more opportunities for advancement in my future career which could also help other things along regarding future personal changes.
So all in all after putting it all on the line personally and career wise there has been some positives which I never thought ever possible and will hopefully help me though the negatives that are still going to be very hard to cope with.
I also need to give sooo much credit my beautiful partner of which without her love, care and support I probably wouldn't be sitting here typing this today. LOVE YOU BABE!!!!
:love:
Makayla
Well it's been a hell of a beggining to the year for myself, after finding out that a close friend has become terminally ill and another lost her life last week I've done alot of soul searching myself and come to the conclusion that life is too short to waste any more time lying to myself and the people that are closest to me.
So after much hesitation I decided to come clean to my lil brother on the person who I really are and was very well recieved and accepted by him which couldn't have made me happier.
A week later after taking in what i'd just done after 30 years of hiding away and realising it wasn't that bad after all, I decided to have lunch with my mum yesterday and tell her also.......well what a relief it was to learn than family will always be there for me after always thinking the worst case scenario.
My mum also told my Dad last night and I got a message from him saying that he will always be there for me regardless and nothing has changed, they have always and will still love me the same as always....
I think that we all feel as though we will instantly be rejected by our families and tend to build some very strong brick walls which no-one can penetrate though, even our loved ones because I was that good at it my family had no idea whatsoever.
I think it also put a bit of light onto the relationship i've had with my family for so long now regarding the type of private person i've become due to my fears of rejection so we tend to shut loved ones out at times.
This is something I can honestly say that 2 years ago I would have never even imagined that i'd be where I am now, I thought i'd die without ever telling anyone else other than my partner.
I now feel as someone has lifted 10 tonne of my shoulders and I'm never going to let it get to that point ever again, we need to live our lives in happiness not in fear as most of us do because we are not bad people just because we wan't to change our gender and be something society in general frowns upon.
Well after all that I also got some more good news out of yesterday, I ended up landing a job i've been trying to get into for a while which will give me more opportunities for advancement in my future career which could also help other things along regarding future personal changes.
So all in all after putting it all on the line personally and career wise there has been some positives which I never thought ever possible and will hopefully help me though the negatives that are still going to be very hard to cope with.
I also need to give sooo much credit my beautiful partner of which without her love, care and support I probably wouldn't be sitting here typing this today. LOVE YOU BABE!!!!
:love:
Makayla