being found out

[Claire3]

theres a woman where i work,she likes me,i dont particually care about her.unfortunately 4 me.on 2 key occassions ive told her i loved her,after several drinks.ive said it was a mistake.Were not compatible.i told her i dress up 2c if that would put her off,it didnt,im now to a daily text/s inviting us 2 a nite out ive no intention or attending.she is texting me every day,the 1st was about not revealing my secret,she is texting everyday.i appreciate i didnt help to start the problem.How the hell do i get out of this one?

[Sonia_cd]

Well my only advice is for you to come clean to her about your feelings. granted it's a bit of a risk in that she might choose to reveal your secret to a few people, but that's in no way a certainty. PLease tell her now before she draws closer to you and do also consider her feelings in all of this. There really is no easy way to do it I'm afraid. Best of luck!

Sonia

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

If she is not your type then you owe it to her to say that. As for maybe she reveals your secret you can say that that was a feeble attempt to turn her off to the relationship and you don't really do that. Or you could be happy that soon everyone will know of your "other" side. If it were me I would go out with her and dress up in my best femm clothes and try to get her to be your "girlfriend" as in friend with nothing else implied. How many threads have you read that were about finding an accepting Girlfriend to hang out with. Maybe, just maybe she could be happy with another friend.

[Kate Simmons]

Damn Claire what a pickle. I think if it were me, I'd have a get together with her to talk and S-L-O-W-L-Y gear it down to being good friends but nothing else. That would be my approach Hon.:happy:

[Victoria Anne]

Claire you sure in in a bit of a pickle , I would suggest that you go out with her and have a long heart felt talk ( concidering her feelings ) and let her know how you truely feel and if your lucky you will have found a new friend good luck

[DeniseK]

theres a woman where i work,she likes me,i dont particually care about her.unfortunately 4 me.on 2 key occassions ive told her i loved her,after several drinks.ive said it was a mistake.Were not compatible.i told her i dress up 2c if that would put her off,it didnt,im now to a daily text/s inviting us 2 a nite out ive no intention or attending.she is texting me every day,the 1st was about not revealing my secret,she is texting everyday.i appreciate i didnt help to start the problem.How the hell do i get out of this one?

Keep a detailed record of the calls and then inform her that telephone harassment is a felony by federal statute.

[Genifer Teal]

Damn Claire what a pickle. I think if it were me, I'd have a get together with her to talk and S-L-O-W-L-Y gear it down to being good friends but nothing else. That would be my approach Hon.:happy:


Make that 2 votes for a date leading towards friendship.

[slamddoger]

maybe you can intuerdue her to your frend. can help you out.

[Veronica 1]

However you do it, you must be honest to her about your feelings. If you want things to cool down but not loose her as a friend, you should do it soon. If she gets the idea in her head that you were leading her along and deceiving her then there will be a slimmer chance of retaining her friendship.

[sterling12]

Have you set yourself up for this? Why did you tell her you loved her? Was it to have sex, after drinking together?

OK, now you have a major problem. About the only thing you can do is talk to her and honestly express your feelings. If you told her you loved her, in order to get something from her, now your going to have to come clean and tell her that you lied. EXPECT BIG TROUBLE, if that's what you did!

I think whatever happens, your going to have to live with the consequences. We all make mistakes, I think you have made several. Better try and do damage control ASAP.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[docrobbysherry]

Men can never say "No", to a woman who offers herself! I didn't know I was that "easy" until I was well into my 30's. And then I made the same mistake with my ex!

Think like a gal! They NEVER have a problem saying, "No"! Or if they cant, they whine and complain until u get their message across! Try that!
RS

[Holly]

Well hon, you ARE in a bit of a spot! You told her you loved her not once, but twice. If you truly have no feelings for this woman, be honest with her, for cryin' out loud. I hope you're not leading her on more, leaving her with the impression that you are going to meet her and then not showing up. That's just plain cruel. You run a much greater risk of retaliation by ignoring or leading her on that if you just step of to the plate and tell her how you really feel about her.

[Claire3]

Thanks for your all your advice.I really appreciate it.

[Nicole Erin]

You could hook her up with someone. That is passing the buck yes but then it is not your problem.

And about her telling someone you CD, well you could play that off like "I just told her that hoping she would leave me alone".

Or, you could be a really nice guy, you know the kind women don't go out with? Also, act really insecure.

[Aeslyn]

I have to agree with most here. Let her know the truth, but let her know it easy. Maybe let her know that she does have good points, which I am sure she does if you didn't just shut her down outright.
I actually had this problem recently with a friend. A wonderful woman, really, and a great friend but just not my type. After I rejected her we are still friends... so I am all for the honesty thing. And if you let them know they do have value then it's not a total heart break for them.

[Chiana]

theres a woman where i work,she likes me,i dont particually care about her.unfortunately 4 me.on 2 key occassions ive told her i loved her,after several drinks.ive said it was a mistake.Were not compatible.i told her i dress up 2c if that would put her off,it didnt,im now to a daily text/s inviting us 2 a nite out ive no intention or attending.she is texting me every day,the 1st was about not revealing my secret,she is texting everyday.i appreciate i didnt help to start the problem.How the hell do i get out of this one?

I would have to say that it seems like you DID start the problem. You might try going out with her. Maybe she will decide that she doesn't want to pursue it anymore or you might really start to like her. But, at any rate, I wouldn't drop her. Or be anything less than gentle. I think that would be wrong since you have already prefessed your love for her and could cause real problems.

[heidi99]

theres a woman where i work,she likes me,i dont particually care about her.unfortunately 4 me.on 2 key occassions ive told her i loved her,after several drinks.ive said it was a mistake.Were not compatible.i told her i dress up 2c if that would put her off,it didnt,im now to a daily text/s inviting us 2 a nite out ive no intention or attending.she is texting me every day,the 1st was about not revealing my secret,she is texting everyday.i appreciate i didnt help to start the problem.How the hell do i get out of this one?

Quite a jam, indeed. Not throwing the L-word around in the future (with other women) if you don't mean it is pretty important. Not using CDing as a way of chasing off someone is probably not the best reason for "coming out." I know, easy to say in hindsight.

About the current dilemma, pressing toward friendship (and really sell the good points) is probably the best route. Honesty with compassion. I hope things work out.