deja true
01-31-2008, 08:26 PM
Hi girls. As you can see by the number under my name, I'm a real newbie here.
I've been reading back into the threads and found a thread on the "fear of shopping" from earlier this month and just wanted to relate a breakthrough adventure I had last week in Miami Beach. I had never bought openly in a women's shop before in my life. But somehow, since I was far from home and the ambience of the place and the thousands of beautiful people walking around just opened my eyes and I took the serious (serial) plunge.
I walked straight and tall into a fashionable women's shoe store and asked a very nice looking young salesgirl to show me the $180 knee-high boots that were on sale for $70. I told her what I thought my Euro size was and asked if she had them in stock. She brought them out and I asked If she minded if I tried them on. She hesitated only a second and said," If you wait a few moments, tht crowd is leaving and there won't be so many people about." The big group left, she unpacked the boots for me and I tried them on. They were a little small so she got the next size and helped me with them. I told her I would take them, she smiled and asked if I liked anything else. I spotted the reptile heels, also on sale and she quickly retrived them, too. All in all, a really pleasant experience, chatting with a friendly, good looking SA and not a hint of recrimination, disgust or fear or disapproval.
In ten minutes, I was down the block at Victoria's Secret. I walked in that big, crowded shop with a purpose, approached a young lady who was obviously a manager and said. "Excuse me, miss, can you possibly help me without embarrassing me? I'm looking for lingerie for myself." She looked at my bearded face with a quick little look of shock, so I asked her if she had ever had this request from a man before. She said she had not, but had helped men pick out things for their wives or girlfriends. I couldn't resist and advised her that it was most probable that most of those men were actually buying for themselves like I was. She gave a little start as if she had just figured something out and smiled. We then spent the next half hour looking at and comparing full coverage and demi bras. She helped me find matching panties for the bras she had helped me choose and was very polite, and even friendly. The most interesting part of our chat was when I asked if VS had a corporate policy concerning T-girls and how to help them. She replied there was not.
This got me thinking that it would benefit us all if places like this, places where we would love to shop without nerves, could have a corporate policy on how to help T-girls shop without embarrassment or fear, to help us with discretion and empathy. Is there anything we or any organization could do to promote such a policy with shops like VS or Designer Shoe Warehouse or the major department store chains? Could T-friendly stores advertise discreetly with a little logo or code phrase to let us know without jeopardizing their images?
To bring a long story to a close, these two very exciting and pleasant experiences led me to finish my day by buying a ton of gorgeous acessories and two pair of skinny designer jeans that fit perfectly (because I asked to try them on).
Girls, the crux is this; go shop where you want. Be pleasant and non- threatening. Don't be nervous or evasive or act dumb. Ask for help. Be chatty. Go to the lady manager, they have much more experience with all types of people.
Sorry this post is so long, but this experience changed my outlook and my life. After years of scared silence and embarrassment, I'm finally talking to someone. I'm talkin' to you! Thanks.
Respect & Love
deja
I've been reading back into the threads and found a thread on the "fear of shopping" from earlier this month and just wanted to relate a breakthrough adventure I had last week in Miami Beach. I had never bought openly in a women's shop before in my life. But somehow, since I was far from home and the ambience of the place and the thousands of beautiful people walking around just opened my eyes and I took the serious (serial) plunge.
I walked straight and tall into a fashionable women's shoe store and asked a very nice looking young salesgirl to show me the $180 knee-high boots that were on sale for $70. I told her what I thought my Euro size was and asked if she had them in stock. She brought them out and I asked If she minded if I tried them on. She hesitated only a second and said," If you wait a few moments, tht crowd is leaving and there won't be so many people about." The big group left, she unpacked the boots for me and I tried them on. They were a little small so she got the next size and helped me with them. I told her I would take them, she smiled and asked if I liked anything else. I spotted the reptile heels, also on sale and she quickly retrived them, too. All in all, a really pleasant experience, chatting with a friendly, good looking SA and not a hint of recrimination, disgust or fear or disapproval.
In ten minutes, I was down the block at Victoria's Secret. I walked in that big, crowded shop with a purpose, approached a young lady who was obviously a manager and said. "Excuse me, miss, can you possibly help me without embarrassing me? I'm looking for lingerie for myself." She looked at my bearded face with a quick little look of shock, so I asked her if she had ever had this request from a man before. She said she had not, but had helped men pick out things for their wives or girlfriends. I couldn't resist and advised her that it was most probable that most of those men were actually buying for themselves like I was. She gave a little start as if she had just figured something out and smiled. We then spent the next half hour looking at and comparing full coverage and demi bras. She helped me find matching panties for the bras she had helped me choose and was very polite, and even friendly. The most interesting part of our chat was when I asked if VS had a corporate policy concerning T-girls and how to help them. She replied there was not.
This got me thinking that it would benefit us all if places like this, places where we would love to shop without nerves, could have a corporate policy on how to help T-girls shop without embarrassment or fear, to help us with discretion and empathy. Is there anything we or any organization could do to promote such a policy with shops like VS or Designer Shoe Warehouse or the major department store chains? Could T-friendly stores advertise discreetly with a little logo or code phrase to let us know without jeopardizing their images?
To bring a long story to a close, these two very exciting and pleasant experiences led me to finish my day by buying a ton of gorgeous acessories and two pair of skinny designer jeans that fit perfectly (because I asked to try them on).
Girls, the crux is this; go shop where you want. Be pleasant and non- threatening. Don't be nervous or evasive or act dumb. Ask for help. Be chatty. Go to the lady manager, they have much more experience with all types of people.
Sorry this post is so long, but this experience changed my outlook and my life. After years of scared silence and embarrassment, I'm finally talking to someone. I'm talkin' to you! Thanks.
Respect & Love
deja