What would you do in case...

[sexotik]

you didn't like the first time you dress, or perhaps I should ask what did you do the first time you dress and didn't like the final outcome?

I have to confess I haven't been fully dressed,yet I have used nail polish, painted my lips, used some mascara and tried on some underwear on some occassions.(you have to crawl before you learn to walk)

Last night I tried on some underwear and wasn't very happy about some part of my body, namely my upper part. I wish it was smaller, I wish I had a small waist or a little more breast -doesn't everybody? On the contrary , I have some parts that seem to belong to a woman, for instance my legs or my behind. I'd posted a thread regarding what you'd do to try to "mask"your hands and back, but I've realized they're smaller in comparison to other men, so at least I'm happy bout that.



In summary, after what happened when I tried on the undergarment, I don't wanna get my hopes up. What should I do ?take a small step at a time?
I think it's a matter of adaptation: you have to look at the good things and the bad things so as to balance out everything, izn't it?. Moreover, you (I)have to learn to love mysefl for who I am.


Has anything similar to my case happened to you? What did you do? Did you feel like givin' up on everything. Thnx in advance:thumbsup:

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

It may not be the same as what you are describing, but....

Years ago, after I had done my makeup for the first time, and then slid on the wig... I found I looked like my mom!

It freaked me right out into taking everything off and scrubbing my face raw. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, but I do not want to look lik her lol. Just too creepy in my book.

It took me a month to research different looks, hairstyles, colors etc and when I went back with my newfound knowledge I had created something more akin to what you see today.

I'm glad I did, and you will too.

Don't let the small stuff set you back. Keep on plugging no matter what and you will succeed :)

*hugs*
Zara

[Scotty]

Years ago, after I had done my makeup for the first time, and then slid on the wig... I found I looked like my mom!

*hugs*
Zara

Me too, and in a BIG way...someday I would like to show her the photograph of it, the only printed photograph I have!!

Baby steps, and if nothing else enjoy wearing it to wear it - I don't know if I can pass (face/hands) but there are ways to distract the eye from that (breast forms etc)...

Just enjoy wearing it around the house!!

[MJ]

[QUOTE=Lady Zarabeth;1176721]
Years ago, after I had done my makeup for the first time, and then slid on the wig... I found I looked like my mom!

It freaked me right out into taking everything off and scrubbing my face raw.

my lady ,
Thats so funny as i too look like my mother and now i am looking like my oldest daughter "Becky" :eek:

well the first few times is hard as we have no clue but the best bet is to save up cash so your S.O can't find it go for a make over no paper trails and less chance of getting caught and see how the makeup artist does your transformation then you will know get some tissue paper and ask for a Dab of color so you can match it up at a store .. and practice a lot

[sexotik]

Thank you very much ladies, you've just given me the boost that I needed. I think that I also look like my mom, I have some features like her nose or her hair. I'm gonna save up some money and invest it on me. *kisses*


"Do not attempt to do a thing unless you are sure of yourself; but do not relinquish it simply because someone else is not sure of you." I'm so digging it.

[CharleneCD]

For me the answer is easy, if I dont like the look I head to the closet to find a different outfit. Like with GG's some looks work and some dont. I just dont take it personaly.

[Nicole Erin]

So you are worried about putting together a decent look for yourself? That is normal.
So you are worried that you don't look very femme out of drag or that you think you look silly in just underwear? Well trust me, most people look pretty ridiculous in their underwear. Most people just do not have nice bodies. THAT is why one dresses up to flatter the figure.

Shoot don't give up. Where you need to start is by analysing your looks when totally dressed up en femme.

[linnea]

I just keep trying until I find the look I like which is pretty much the same thing I do when I dress in drab. Like others, I noticed how much I look like my mom when I put on make-up and a wig. Because I wanted a more personal look, I started experimenting with wig styles and colors. Pretty soon the "mom-look" seemed less problematic.
I also think that it takes awhile to get a look that each of us feels comfortable with; I know that I needed to get used to my "fem" look before I could really get comfortable with it.
I have all sorts of "body problems": I'm too big in several places where women are usually much smaller. I have broad shoulders and relatively narrow hips, for example. My hands are large, and so are my feet. Nonetheless, as many members here have said time and time again, much of what they strive for is a level of confidence and ease, not necessarily a perfectly honed female image.
So I would say that you should relax and give yourself time to develop the look that makes you feel good.
:2c:

[Angie G]

No one is perfect hun don't be so hard on yourself :hugs:
Angie

[Dalece]

Practice, Practice , Practice is the key. Have to keep going and try what is for you. Like Lady Z I look like my mother. Sorry Lady Z Luv you though

[Carly D.]

Well now you can understand a little about what women go through, I guess.. will you like how you look when dressed full? my answer is that I didn't know how I looked fully dressed, I mean I can look at myself in the mirror and fool myself.. you may in fact not look like a woman at all (like me( ) but then I have decided not to sweat that anymore.. truth is you will like certain parts of crossdressing.. I like wearing pantyhose and high heel shoes, and for each of us there are things about dressing up that is the reason we dress up.. and for some, like me, dress only that part and feel good about it.. the true test is taking a picture of yourself dressed up.. I've thought about why we take pictures of ourselves dressed up and part of it is to see how we look dressed up but the other is to prove that we (I) did it, to record this "event" transformation from only male to looking like a female version of me.. that might not make sense.. I'm babbling.. sorry..

[Michelle 51]

Well in the real world we are what we are.Most women i know would like to change something about how they look.We all would like to look like movie stars with drop dead figures and looks but in reality we,re trying to take mans shape and make it look like a women,s and by the pics here some of the girls are making it work for them but alas for the rest of us we probaly aren,t going to make the cover of any womens fashion magizine.Dress because it makes you feel good and if your lucky enough to look good also well thats a bonus but don,t get discouraged if you still look like a guy in a dress.

[sexotik]

Thank you once again.
Carly D. you're not blabbing, actually that's a good idea.
Justabit, it's tru even women would want to change some features or certain troublesome parts of their bodies.

[tamarav]

Honey, honey, honey. What are you not thinking? Were you able to drive a manual transmission the very first time? Did Picasso paint perfectly as a child? We all learn from our mistakes, believe me, I have had well over 50 years to work on my numerous mistakes.

Young girls learn from their peers, we just missed that step. We learn from our peers on this forum and from makeup artists and whoever will give us the attention we need. Don't let a little bobble stop you from practicing and getting better. I have spent hundreds of hours perfecting makeup and hair and walk and eveything else just to venture to my car and back into the house. (Now I go boldly forward, acting just like I know what the hell I am doing, when each and every time, I am hoping everything works!) For God's sake don't stop with your first attempt. Make more attempts. We don't learn unless we make mistakes. Then we don't (hopefully) repeat the past mistakes. Just get back on the horse that threw you and ride again. As some of my work buddies say, "Cowgirl Up!!

Your sis,

Tami

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Maybe not related but when I first took pictures of myself with a digital camera, I was beyond shocked. I couldn't believe how hideous and downright ugly I looked. In my case this started a lifetime of being obsessed with working on my make up, wig/hairstyles, clothes that fit properly, working on facial expressions, body stance, and my weight.

[docrobbysherry]

Wow! That thot never occurred to me!
I would be absolutely thrilled, if I ever, in any way, resembled my mom or sis!
Or even MY DAD, for that matter!

Without Sherry's faces, I look more like King Kong with a wig!
With her faces, mom and sis can be the jealous ones!

Good advice above. Corsets, waist cinchers, forms, etc. can help u improve your shape. Flattering outfits will amaze u, when u try them on!
RS

[Peggy55]

It takes me hours more often than not to get "dressed". I am closeted and do this mostly at night but I go at it usually with nothing really thought out. Just start grabbing stuff and eventually viola! Peggy!

[Eugenie]

I didn't have that problem early on... I enjoyed every moments of wearinf women underwear, then women clothes and later on all the makeup endeavour...

Later on, I had some times when after dressing "en femme" and looking at the mirror, it just not work... I had to undress quickly with a sense of failure...

I have since become more able to chose my appearance, in part thanks to the advice of a good GG friend.

But there are still some times whan I am far from being happy with the result of my transformation...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[PameeSue]

From Tami's reply...
...just get back on the horse....


I couldnt agree more!

...here...I'll help you girl with a 'leg-up'!:hugs::hugs:


Suzie


...if at first you dont succeed....

[darla_g]

i would get this all depends on one's own personal motivations.

if you dressed and didn't at all care for the look, the preparation it required or how you felt then maybe its not for you.

but as Tami points out if you are motivated to dress you have to realize it is a process that requires a great deal of commitment and dedication. It would seem to me very few males can pull it off with ease and as you get older it is perhaps most difficult.

good luck

[KimberlyS]

What and how each of us CD's is very unique to each of us. Every one of us is different and not just in CDing but everything about us. Yes there are things that are similar but over all each of us is our own person with our own time and way of doing things.

Do not try to be some other CDer. Look within yourself and be who you are. Not who someone else is.


... you have to crawl before you learn to walk.

I like these type of statements along with the "I need to perfect my looks, voice and actions before I can go out". I went from being born to running.

I was much different in how my CDing progressed. And I have yet to hear another story similar. I CDed on and off most of my life. But mostly off often years between times I CDed. Mid 30's work and home stress was great and my urge to CD came out in bounds. I finally accessed in internet and found some good information. I went from a terrible person in my mind to it was no big deal. I needed to scream and show the world who I was. I had a few femme clothes but not much and nothing to go out in. So on the way out of town on business, I stopped at a second hand store and picked up some 3.5 in heel shoes, a skirt and a top. The first night I found a store that had makeup and bought some foundation, eye color and lipstick, and also got some pantyhose. I also scoped out a route of travel to go out for a walk. Night of my first time out, I put on makeup for the first time and put on the too tight clothes I had purchased. I did not have a wig so wore my coat and hood.

And I went out. First time fully dressed enfemme, too tight clothes that were old and way out of style, my first time ever putting on makeup with colors that looked bad on me and beard shadow showing through. The only thing looking good was me walking in heels which I took to like I had been wearing them all my life.

Yes I really did that. Yes I must have been nuts. But I for some reason knew I wanted to do it. And I did it. Yes I got some looks. LOTS of looks and comments too. People laughing as they passed and behind me. But I for some reason did not really care. I was doing what I wanted to do. I figured I was out of town and would never see these people again so it really did not matter what they thought. Oh and yes I was nervous. So nervous it took me over 20 minutes to get out my hotel room door. But after my over mile walk with very sore feet, I floated back into my room.

My second time was about 4 months later, out of town again. Similar setup, a skirt and top that fit a bit better that I again picked up on the way to the airport. I went out for a walk with a similar experience.

My third time was a year after the first, same place, better fitting clothes in more current style, and I got them ahead of time and tried them on. I now had a wig and had finally looked at some how to apply makeup information. So third time fully dressing enfemme, third time now ever putting on makeup, and I decided I was going out to eat at a small restaurant in the area. Again I know I looked terrible from the looks, laughs and comments I got. But after 4 trips to the door I went in and had supper. Once people looked they, were back in their own life and world talking with those at their own table and paid little attention to me. I was treated well by the restaurant staff even though my server pointed me out to several staff from the kitchen. Hey I admitt I was the wierd-o show for the night. No one came after me with pitch forks and torches.

Since then I have created a better blending image for myself when I go out. But I still do not pass. I Just know how I started my CDing out and about, being out of town and just doing it was the best thing for me. What works for you may be completely different. Listen to others for tips. But be yourself and do what you want to do. Just use your head and be careful. Note I checked out my outing routes and places a head of time. IMHO, mainstream public places with people are the safest places to go.

kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

[lisajane]

Practice Practice Practice!!!:frustrated:Lisa