why venture out

[staxscd]

ive been having a disscussion with my so recently that centers about me venturing out to a local meeting.
the problem is up till now i have been content dressing up at home and cannot find or give a reason why i feel the need to go out.

why do any of you venture out? just curious

[Holly]

Because we are social beings and crave contact with others. Becasue we are comfortable with ourselves and not ashamed to be seen. Because we feel we have things we can offer others to make their lives better and we are willing to receive from others things that can make our own lives better as well. Because the Internet and television already are causing too much social isolation in the world and being among other living, breathing human beings is a natural desire. We can't feel the tactile feedback of the skirt we want to buy on the Home Shopping Network. I'm sure there are more reason.

[Lora Olivia]

Yeah what Holly so aptly said. I crave being out doing girl things, just being as normal as I can. It feels so validating.

[Sally24]

Ask her why she goes out. Same rules apply to you.

[deja true]

"Because we are social beings and crave contact with others..." who are like us and share our worries and cares![U]

You're so right, Holly. And having a caring SO or not, she probably will never be able to relate totally to what's going on in our ditzy heads. She may be truly empathetic, but many of us die for the need to talk to, relate to, be with someone who can truly know our [U]lifelong battle with this pleasurable and painful monster.

Respect and Love

deja

[MJ]

Because we are social beings and crave contact with others. Because we are comfortable with ourselves and not ashamed to be seen. Because we feel we have things we can offer others to make their lives better and we are willing to receive from others things that can make our own lives better as well. Because the Internet and television already are causing too much social isolation in the world and being among other living, breathing human beings is a natural desire. We can't feel the tactile feedback of the skirt we want to buy on the Home Shopping Network. I'm sure there are more reason.

great answer holly , also Because we can help others who travel the same path as us and learn from our mistakes



[QUOTE]And having a caring SO or not, she probably will never be able to relate totally to what's going on in our ditsy heads. and ourlifelong battle with this pleasurable and painful monster.

Ditz thats a good word .. if the shoe fits ...
have you ask your S.O why not go out ?

ditzy
main Entry: dit·zy
Date: 1973
: eccentrically silly, giddy, or inane : dizzy
— dit·zi·ness or dit·si·ness \-nəs\ noun

[Bobby Anne]

Because we are social beings and crave contact with others. Becasue we are comfortable with ourselves and not ashamed to be seen. Because we feel we have things we can offer others to make their lives better and we are willing to receive from others things that can make our own lives better as well. Because the Internet and television already are causing too much social isolation in the world and being among other living, breathing human beings is a natural desire. We can't feel the tactile feedback of the skirt we want to buy on the Home Shopping Network. I'm sure there are more reason.

Venturing out os the next normal step in the continuium pf crossdressing. There is a great gatheringof like minds in May at Rainbowmouintain.com
An excellent palce to start. Yes, it's a bigger closet, but so much can be learned from others like you and their SO's

[TxKimberly]

Ask her why she goes out. Same rules apply to you.

Sally's answer said it exactly right - why would NO human being be content to be locked away in the house? We all want the wind on our face, sun or stars in our eyes, and the feeling of freedom. All my life I wanted to venture into the world as a female but just didn't get the courage until 10 years ago. I think MOST of us have probably dreamed about joining the world as female but perhaps thrust it aside feeling it was unrealistic or not worth the risk. Some of us have managed to get past that and are having a ball.
Yes, your wife would of course feel concern for this. Once you start going in and out the door, you run the risk of being seen by those you would not want to know, and she most certainly has a vested interest in the consequences. But let's call it as it is - the questions you two should be asking yourselves is "Can I minimize the risk to myself and my family?" and "Is it worth the risk?" You should ask the honest questions of each other, not skirt around the issue by acting as if it is unreasonable to want to join the world.

[Nicole Erin]

People do many things to many degrees.
Some just want a small taste of something while some people want to make something their whole life.

For us, some are happy sitting around at home in a pair of hose while others want to dress 100% and venture outdoors.

There is nothing wrong with either of these people. Some just genuinely have no desire to go out en femme. It is not fear, it is just that they don't need it.

We have discussed this on the board before...

HOWEVER, if you are feeling envy of those who have been out en femme, maybe plan small outings too, even if walking around the block late at night or something so small as stepping out of the front door to smoke a cigarette while en femme.

I sometimes get the feeling that people would like to go out but don't know where to start and would rather say "why bother" but just think - why not enjoy life a little more? We have all had our first time, no matter how small.

[SweetCaroline]

I started going out for a couple reasons. Mainly because I wanted to meet and get to know other crossdressers. I knew they were out there, but never saw them. I felt alone and isolated dressing at home. When I saw the pictures of the transgender social groups that were meeting not far from me, I decided I wanted to be a part of that group.

Secondly, I go out because I want to be seen as a transgendered person. I want people to know that we exist and that we are out there living our day to day lives, and that we can go to a shopping mall or a restaurant, or a night club, and just express ourself as the people we feel inside. I believe the more we do this, the more that, in time, we'll become acepted as members of society, wearas if we continue to hide, we'll continue to be misunderstood by society.

If you have no desire to go out, that's quite alright, it's just for me, dressing around the home became kinda boring. I wanted to meet others, interact with others, be seen by others. Otherwise, I was just a tree falling in the woods with no one to hear.

[Eugenie]

For me it was a way to really exist as a transgender person. After so man years in the closet, I felt that I needed to exist for someone else than my mirror...

First step was existing for other forum members through pics... Indeed it was a neat way to have people see you and make comments (always too gentle...)

Meeting other CDs in person in a private club was the thing that really proved that Eugenie existed, indeed...

But the real test of truth that you really exist as a woman is to go out in public where every one sees you and can either like you or hate you. Well, at least this is how I felt...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Nicki B]

As Eugenie and others have said, isn't it firstly about validation of the woman you see in the mirror? Will the other people see you in the same way as you see yourself? :strugglin

[Amy07]

Here we go again!
Hey you, do what you want to do when you feel like you want to do it. There is now time table, or peer pressure check list, or future graduation exercise that makes anybody who dresses to go out and "pass". Live it, love it, be safe, and have fun!

[shirley1]

because i went out to a mates retirement party and got a bit drunk - yes thats all i could do as a bloke - stood there propping the bar up watching girls/women as young as 4 to 60 having a good time on the dance floor dancing to the time warp cding record ! saturday nite wigfield - girls aloud you name it - it makes me sick going to them type of things so steriotypical gilrly nites out but as a bloke you cant get invlolved - i hate this ****ing stupid steriotypical world we live in - tell you what its only for are kids so they know the difference between male and female - dont want boys to become pansies ! girls can be whatever they want to be ! why is it we on this forum are so much ahead of our time ! things will change thats for sure because masculinity is dead and gone thats for sure you mark my words !

[Nicole Erin]

For me it was a way to really exist as a transgender person. After so man years in the closet, I felt that I needed to exist for someone else than my mirror...

First step was existing for other forum members through pics... Indeed it was a neat way to have people see you and make comments (always too gentle...)

Meeting other CDs in person in a private club was the thing that really proved that Eugenie existed, indeed...

But the real test of truth that you really exist as a woman is to go out in public where every one sees you and can either like you or hate you. Well, at least this is how I felt...

:hugs:
Eugenie

IN other words, the phrase "No one is an island" holds true.

And on a practical level, so one likes to dress, but what if someone was dressed and had to run errands? Can't really do that by sitting at home now CAN we?

[MarinaTwelve200]

ive been having a disscussion with my so recently that centers about me venturing out to a local meeting.
the problem is up till now i have been content dressing up at home and cannot find or give a reason why i feel the need to go out.

why do any of you venture out? just curious

I too am a "private "CD who feels no need to go out. Part of it is my attitude, that CD is a private thing I do like using the bathroom , taking a shower or "pleasuring myself". No one else needs to know about it.

I think that there are distinct different types of CDers. "The Classic CD" Does feel a need to go out and try to pass as a woman. Going out is part of the routine.

I am an "escapist CD" I CD to get away from my normal male self and enjoy the "relaxing" and "de-Stressing" effects. There is no need there to go out.

There are other types of CDers too, Fetish types, Thrill seekers etc. And most Transexuals also CD. Each type has its own set of prefered activities. Going out dressed is common only to certian types of CDing.

[SweetCaroline]

I too am a "private "CD who feels no need to go out. Part of it is my attitude, that CD is a private thing I do like using the bathroom , taking a shower or "pleasuring myself". No one else needs to know about it.

I think that there are distinct different types of CDers. "The Classic CD" Does feel a need to go out and try to pass as a woman. Going out is part of the routine.

I am an "escapist CD" I CD to get away from my normal male self and enjoy the "relaxing" and "de-Stressing" effects. There is no need there to go out.

There are other types of CDers too, Fetish types, Thrill seekers etc. And most Transexuals also CD. Each type has its own set of prefered activities. Going out dressed is common only to certian types of CDing.

Good point. We all have to decide for ourselves where we want to go as Transgendered people.

As one one the speakers at First Event put it--It's like we get on a train at a station from point A-to Point B. If we get off at Point B, and we are happy, we stay there. If not we get back on the train and move on to point C. If we are not happy at point C than we move on to point D, etc.

Her main point was that no destination was better or worse than any other. And if we are happy where we are, than we are happy where we are.

To the OP. If you are happy and your wife/ SO accepts you, and don't feel you need to go out, than don't.

But if you want to get back on the train and go further, than the more power to you!

Here's wishing you luck.

[Megan (VA)]

And on a practical level, so one likes to dress, but what if someone was dressed and had to run errands? Can't really do that by sitting at home now CAN we?

So true. I have been presenting as female for the past 3 days but have not left the house much because most of what I needed to do could only be done at home. Earlier this evening I realized the last of the Diet Coke was gone, so I touched up my makeup, fixed my hair, grabbed my purse and went and bought some Diet Coke.

But I realize not everyone would be comfortable doing that. And that's okay. People have to do what is best for them and those they love.

[linnea]

Because we are social beings and crave contact with others. Becasue we are comfortable with ourselves and not ashamed to be seen. Because we feel we have things we can offer others to make their lives better and we are willing to receive from others things that can make our own lives better as well. Because the Internet and television already are causing too much social isolation in the world and being among other living, breathing human beings is a natural desire. We can't feel the tactile feedback of the skirt we want to buy on the Home Shopping Network. I'm sure there are more reason.

There are, indeed, probably more reasons, but Holly has mentioned many of mine. (Thank you, Holly).

[Lora Olivia]

dont want boys to become pansies ! girls can be whatever they want to be ! why is it we on this forum are so much ahead of our time ! things will change thats for sure because masculinity is dead and gone thats for sure you mark my words !

and all the better for it if the testosterone fueled ignorance of violence is abated

[StayceeCD]

"pleasurable and painful monster"

I Like that description!:heehee:

[Jennaie]

For myself and some other cd's, it's about being validated as a female by the public. For others, it's about fun and having a good time. Those of us who want to get out all have our reasons for wanting to get out.

Don't lock a princess in a dungeon, there is nothing worse than a woman scorned! Makes for a very unhappy man, one way or the other. :sad:

[Chickhe]

I have a two part answer answer or is it a question? Could it be that it is fun and we want to share that enjoyment with someone? Like if you have a hobbie and discover something new or overcome a problem, it is enjoyable to share that experience with someone. Also, sometimes who you share it with is important, like if you tell your dog about it, he jus won't know what you are talking about.

The second part is, maybe it is to validate that you can actually do it without raising a whole lot of disruption to the world order. :-)

[Angie G]

We all must grow in what we do and some of our needs grow more then others and feel the need to go out into the world and you are at that point hun good luck. :hugs:
Angie

[sterling12]

For those of us who do go out and about, we think it's a wonderful thing! We often become zealots, and we want to share with others the great times and camaraderie.

Seldom if ever, are you going to see a posting that says: "Well I went out for the first time and it really sucked!" If you have looked at the postings, virtually all say the same basic thing: "I went out for the first time and it was wonderful." "Why did I not do this sooner?"

Nobody is trying to make you join us, but we just have a very difficult time understanding why someone would pass up the opportunity.

Yes, it's scary to take that first step. That's why myself and others always recommend joining a Support Group. A seemingly impossible task, filled with fearful imaginings, becomes ever so much easier when you are with a group and your Sista's are helping you.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Carly D.]

This is just something that happens to most crossdressers (me included).. we start to get confident that we can fool someone "out there" and try to venture out.. for me, I wanted to see what it felt like to have a breeze blow up my skirt while wearing pantyhose and heeled shoes.. I also wanted to see what wearing heels out on the sidewalk felt like.. I was into riding my bicycle so I wore a skirt and heels doing that one time as well.. I dare myself to do some of the dumbest things while dressed up... one bit of advice to whoever wants to go out dressed up.. make sure you can walk in your heels, not just sort of, but really able to walk in heels.. like they are second nature..

[suzy]

Touche'.....Great responses! Lots of well grounded and well versed folks!:hugs:

[jennifer41356]

I have a closet full of outfits that i love wearing in public to show off my hot looks....well maybe not hot looks....:D:D:D

[JoAnnDallas]

I will admit, the first few times I went out dressed in the daylight, I was scared to death. Then I started noticing no one paid much attention to me. After a while, I calmed down but I still tend to stay away from others. Then one evening, I was at a Shell station fully dressed, filling up the SUV, when I just decided to walk into the station store and buy a bottle of water. So after I had filled up the SUV, I got my purse off the front seat, closed and locked the SUV and walked over to the store, opened the door, walked in, got my bottle of water, paid for it, walked out and got back into my SUV. Then it hit me, I had done it and the attendant had even called me "Mam". I then proceeded on other evenings, to stop at convience stores and buy a bottle of water. Then I decided to go all out. One afternoon, I got all dressed up and went to a Payless Shoe Store, browsed shoes, found a couple of pair, paid for them, and the left. No problem, no fuss, and treated like another GG customer.
I think most of us fear that no sooner than we walk out the door than the whole world is going to start pointing fingures and make a fuss that we are dressed. In reality, hardly anyone seems to care. If you do a good presentation, most people will not notice you. Those that do read you, 99% of them will smile and go their own way and leave you alone.

[Ressie]

I get frightened just shopping for female attire. I interesting that many of you have become used to stepping out one way or another. I would be afraid of being seen by someone that knows me. Just driving dressed is a fantasy I won't ever try unless I go to another town.