MTFs: Are you a dandy?

[AmandaM]

OK, lots of are you gay, bi, metrosexual questions going on. But, are you a dandy? In days past, a dandy was a man who would rather play parlour games with the women, then go hunting with the men. Usually, a well-dressed, slightly effeminate male. As a man, are you assumed to be gay?, have feminine mannerisms, etc.?

For myself, I have always been thought of as a little queer. Guys are a little suspicious of me. Girls always talk to me. It's like the femaleness of me is latched onto by the public. I must make an effort to "act tough", it's not natural. I just don't act as masculine as most men, ala Rod Stewart. Are you like this? Or do you switch between male and female mode?

[Bravesoul]

I am a guy, would like to be more naturally feminine, but I am not. lol, I guess that what I like about CDing, it give me that chance to feel feminine. ooooo what a felling.

:2c:

[CatAttack]

Hmm, I guess I am somewhat of a dandy. I do like to play sports (basketball), but I am more inclined towards more passive activities such as drawing, playing/listening to music, writing, philosophy, and such. I don't think anyone thinks that I'm gay, or at least I don't get that feeling. Though I don't consciously act tough, I don't think I'm completely effeminate, but I am definitely not as masculine as other guys.

I tend to rely more on my brains than my physical strength (I'm pretty skinny), so I have to rely on my talking and charisma (what little I have) to get myself out of bad situations. Oh and girls don't just start talking to me, but I don't find it hard to talk with girls. But then again, I don't find it hard to talk to guys either. I dunno.. but I think I'm a bit of a dandy, but I guess just not to a huge extent.

[Trudyann]

Not sure if I'd be considered "Dandy." Maybe borderline. I've always and still do hang around with the female crowd rather than the men. I'm much more comfortablle around women. I'm not into any sports and have no interests there. Maybe the reason people might not think I was gay is that I've been married 4 times and have eight children. Trudyanne

[Sharon B.]

I'm not into sports either would rather hang with the women in the group. I don't think they think I am gay but I'm sure some feel that I am not man enough to like or get involved in sports the way most men do.
Sometimes I think I try to hard to be a man by trying some rough extreme sports like horseback riding and four wheeling and having a big 4X4 to drive. I often think about selling it all and moving into a condo and be the woman I often think I am.

[MarinaTwelve200]

By no means. Im not really into trendy clothing at all nor do I consider myself "fem". Im male without being overly macho, my style is mostly somewhat nerdish, regular timeless slacks and short sleeved shirts little changed since the 1950's. Typical "scientist" clothing.

While not too much into sports, I am "manish" in my inerest of science and other intellectual persuits NOT usually associated with females, so I am STILL considered male by others and not fem or "gay"

[Alana65]

As a man, are you assumed to be gay?

No, I'm not.


have feminine mannerisms, etc.?

I don't think so. If I do, no one has said so.


Do you switch between male and female mode?

I switch.

[LilSissyStevie]

I used to be something of a dandy. In fact, my co-workers nicknamed me "Hollywood" at one point. I tend to dress down now, but crossdress more often. I've always felt more comfortable in the company of women and women seem to feel comfortable with me.

I don't think I'm especially effeminate in my mannerisms but I'm definitely not a manly man. On the other hand, some female co-workers recently told me I was "one of the girls."

[Kate Simmons]

Not me. As Rich I'm more like John Steed, suave and sophisticated but no dandy really. As Sal I'm more like Emma Peel with an attitude. For instance if someone asks me if I'm a guy dressed up, I'll say:'Yeah why? You got a problem with that?" Most don't.;):battingeyelashes::happy:

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

Well, I do not believe I am dandy. I wear jeans and t-shirts and sneakers in drab, I do not act macho and steer clear of that behavior. And some of the hobbies I enjoy is not particularly femanine, except for the Crossdressing!! Actually, I am happy that I enjoy things that men typically engage in. And as far as women gravitating towards me, they act as if I have a communicable disease! But its ok. Im married.

[Eugenie]

I absolutely prefer being with women than with my males "brothers"... I hate most of the so called male conversations.

However I'm not a Dandy at all...

Women seem to like my company. I'm never perceived as a "dominant male" looking for a partner... Not that I'm not interested, but my attitude is always fostering friendship more than sentimental reactions... Or perhaps I don't recognize the signs...

Even when I was younger, girls used to take me as their friends even though I was never a Dandy like all the other boys who were already trying to be dresed smartly... Perhaps that is why the girls didn't feel threatened and took me as confident as if I were another girl...

Well, I think that I prefer to be like that than being more "male"...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[sami1952]

I'm straight but have always found it easlier it to hang around women,as a young boy i used to play ball on the girls team and enjoyed it.i had alot of girl friends not girl friends but female friends that i used to talk to.

[Angie G]

I go back and forth I enjoy hunting and fishing, cars and aircraft and boats. If I could do all this dressed I'd love it evrn more :hugs:
Angie

[jennifer41356]

I always preferred to be with the girls than boys , especially as I got older, didnt like the crudeness of men

[DeeAnn]

I'm not a dandy. I do tend to spend more time with the women but I think that's because they actually talk. Most of my male friends have boring conversations and they rarely talk when they do...unless you want sports stats. I'm definitely not into sports.

[sissystephanie]

OK, lots of are you gay, bi, metrosexual questions going on. But, are you a dandy? In days past, a dandy was a man who would rather play parlour games with the women, then go hunting with the men. Usually, a well-dressed, slightly effeminate male. As a man, are you assumed to be gay?, have feminine mannerisms, etc.?

For myself, I have always been thought of as a little queer. Guys are a little suspicious of me. Girls always talk to me. It's like the femaleness of me is latched onto by the public. I must make an effort to "act tough", it's not natural. I just don't act as masculine as most men, ala Rod Stewart. Are you like this? Or do you switch between male and female mode?

I don't think I would agree with your definition of a "dandy!" When I was growing up back in the '30's, a "Dandy" was a man who dressed in very fancy men's clothes all the time and thought he was "hot" stuff with the ladies. But there never was any indication that he was gay, or effeminate.

As for my self, I certainly don't fit your definition, or mine either for that matter. I am a man who like to dress like a woman! Plain and simple. I enjoy wearing feminine clothing, for the fit, feel, and look. It is not sexual, just comfortable. As has been commented on in other threads, it is a good way for me to relieve stress. My late wife knew about and supported my CD activites. Now that she is gone, I find myself dressing more often to help cope. When I am Stephanie, I feel closer to her! But no matter what kind of lingerie or other feminine clothing I may have on, there is still a very masculine man underneath. Just ask my darling GGF!:love:

BTW. she also supports my CD activities!:happy: Sure ladies talk to me, I'm a friendly person. But I have way more male friends than female ones, and I can assure you that none of them thinks of me as being gay. Especially those who have known me for some time. As I always tell people who are starting to get on my nerves, "Don't make me angry. You won't like the results!" I'm not a superman, or anything like that, but I also don't lose many fights! Just because I like female clothing does not mean I am queer, gay, or anything like that. In ending I also would like to state that I don't think putting a label on a person is proper under any circumstances. Especially if you don't really know the facts!

Sissy/Stephanie

Girl on the outside, but all man underneath!

[AmandaM]

I don't think I would agree with your definition of a "dandy!" When I was growing up back in the '30's, a "Dandy" was a man who dressed in very fancy men's clothes all the time and thought he was "hot" stuff with the ladies. But there never was any indication that he was gay, or effeminate.

Oh, you probably know better than me. My experience with this term is usually from the movies. Is there a better term? Your definition above can be called a "player". Maybe I should have said effeminate male, ala Rod Stewart.

[JoAnnDallas]

In my younger years, I was somewhat of a daredevil, but now I enjoy relaxing, reading, and just hanging out. When it is warmer outside, I will go out with a fem t-shirt, shorts, and sandals with no socks on. I have gone to my nail salon dressed like this. My toes are polished usually bright red, so I am sure that when I walk into my nail salon on a warm summer day and the GG's look at me, I am sure the word GAY crosses their mind. You can not do anything about what others think of you. All you can do is just be yourself.

[Littlej10]

I have always prefered poetry and music to sport, motors and the other boring male interests. I do cycle, it started as a means to freedom and then I found I was good at it and have continued. Most of my male friends are cyclists and being able to out perform them keeps the "gay" comments at bay even though I have a few female mannerisms.

[Kayla_CD]

I'd have to say that as far as my personality is concerned that's pretty much bang on. But I have very masculine features and initially meeting me, no one would assume I'm gay. It takes a short conversation to realize I'm a bit of a dandy.

[sissystephanie]

Oh, you probably know better than me. My experience with this term is usually from the movies. Is there a better term? Your definition above can be called a "player". Maybe I should have said effeminate male, ala Rod Stewart.

You can't believe a lot of what you see in the movies. Effeminate male would be a better description, IMHO!

In my youth, a man who dressed like a "Dandy" was usually a person who thought he was really hot stuff and better than anyone else.

JoanneDallas, I go out like you described all the time! Only frequently wearing a skirt or skort instead of shorts. I go to my nail salon every two weeks, and rarely wear pants or closed toe shoes. And yes, my toe nail are always some shade of bright red. BTW, I do talk to ladies, and sometimes men, in the salon and no one has ever appeared to think I was "gay." Of course, I don't act gay, since I am not. As I said earlier, I am man who like to wear womens clothes.

Sissy/Stephanie

Girl on the outside, all man underneath.

[Jackie67]

Growing up with three sisters that liked to dress me in thier clothes, almost from the day I came home from the hospital birthing center I was dress girly and I also was into baseball, track in school, I still play baseball in an over 32 league. I am also into mershal arts, and quite good at it.
I don't think I am considered gay or femme when in drab(witch is not very often) except playing sports. I am here in a black skirt and pink top at this time it is almost time for my SO to be home so I had to finally get out of my bath robe and flip-flops for the evening.
See ya later.:love::2c:

[angelfire]

I don't believe so. While I don't typically like a lot of stereotypical masculine activities like sports or cars, I am definitely not effeminate. I have only been asked once if I was gay, and it was pretty random, and I'm pretty sure the girl was drunk. Most people assume I am straight, since I am large and have rather masculine traits. Most of my friends are guys as well.So I would say no, I am not considered a dandy.

[Carroll]

Funny, for a while people would ask me how I am doing. If I am not in a great mood I would say "Dandy". I decided to get the current definations of the net.


a man who is much concerned with his dress and appearance
yawl: a sailing vessel with two masts; a small mizzen is aft of the rudderpost
bang-up: very good; "he did a bully job"; "a neat sports car"; "had a great time at the party"; "you look simply smashing"
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

A dandy is a man who places particular importance upon physical appearance, refined language, and the cultivation of leisurely hobbies. ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dandy

Dandy was a short-lived mascot of the New York Yankees. He was a large pinstriped bird that sported a Yankees hat. He had a mustache that gave him an appearance similar to that of former Yankee pitcher Sparky Lyle. His name was a play on the classic American folk song Yankee Doodle Dandy. ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dandy (mascot)

[Samantha B L]

I've always felt more like a crossdresser than a "Dandy". But maybe in my own way I've been something of a Dandy in my life. I played with girls in grade school and I had a tendency towards "best freind" relationships with girls in Junior High and High School. I despised sports,to be truthful,although I went to ocaisional football games and hung out and did all the things kids do. I actually wore my hair in one of those Aerosmith and New York Dolls hairstyles for years and I even did a "Rod Stewart" haircut a couple of times. When I was about 40 my face,neck and abdomen began to "spread" and sag sort of and I had to stop getting those kinds of haircuts because it made me look like Captain Kangaroo or The Nutty Professor. It doesn't matter. I found out a long time before that that great buys were to be had in wig stores for under $50. I've seen video tapes of myself and I've heard myself on tape recorders a hundred times. I probably present a great deal of femininity in my expressions,speech,gestures,body movement. Over the years I've decided I don't care. I really don't want to change and I wouldn't trade my life for someone else's. The Kinks did a cool song called "Dandy".

[Raquelle C]

Hmm, very interesting question/conversation...

I was often mistaken for a girl or young women in my teens, mostly on the telephone and was made fun of a few times by other boys. I had to make myself act more manly and strong... To the effect that I would be overly boisterous, and macho. I had to learn and develop how to be more masculine like the jocks, or sports playing type guys. I personally don't care for sports one bit, especially watching sports, I would rather watch something else or do something else. I am into alot of guy things though, cars, performance and stuff. I did have a problem talking to girls in my junior/high school days, I didn't have any female friends really when I was growing up, don't really have any of my 'own' female friends, just mutual friends of mine and my SO. I guess I am not naturally very masculine or macho, but then again I have never been mistaken as gay, just metro I guess. I am probably a lil bit between metro and dandy I guess. Who knows! :p