The urge emerged

[casey01]

Hello everyone, I visit here quite often but seldom post do to respect for my wife. My question is for those of you out there that does not have supporting SO's. When you get the erge to dress what do you do since your SO does not approve? I've had the erge all weekend and its starting to show through, I have been grumpy all weekend LOL. I'm not gonna do it behind her back.
Do any of you have an escape route you usually take when this urge emerges while still being honest with your family?

[KrissyTN]

Hi Casey,

Greetings from a fellow Vol Gal!

My first wife was accepting, but not supportive at all. I generally traveled quite a bit back then and would dress on the road.

My second wife is an absolute doll and very supportive. Other than not being able to dress in front of my daughters, we're able to fit it in whenever we can.

I would recommend the occassional night away where you can dress.

Hugs,
Krissy

PS, drop me a line at Krisstntv@yahoo.com sometime if you want to chat some more.

[breanna53]

well i know that feeling well. there have been times i have had the urge, but like you i have not.

[Dawn Marie]

I seem to always have the urge but having a very unsupportive wife it is difficult at times. Luckily, I work shift work and have a lot of time off when she is at work, but even then she seems to call to check up on me. I do have my moments, just that they are so short I usually can't get the whole effect (makeup) done. And she doesn't want me to shave my mustache off, if I did she would know something is up. She has threatened to divorce me if I was dressing again, but I can't help myself I still do it as best I can.

[Kathy Renee]

Hello Casey,

I have found over time and have reads posts in this forum that the urge for many is cyclic. It has been for me. My wife of 36 years does not know that I am a CD and would not be supportive if she did know. I have marveled reading posts from CDs that have supportive SOs and/or can dress any time some even 24/7. I wonder if these fortunate girls have the cyclic urges.

I have been fortunate because we live in Colorado and our families live in Louisiana. For many many years my wife would take a two week trip to Louisiana to visit family. That two weeks gave me ample opportunity to dress, shop, have makeovers, etc. in a whirlwind of activity totaly immersed except for the 8 hours a day in drab at work. This yearly activity seemed to be enough. Minor urges during the year were dealt with wearing panties, bra, etc. for short periods if she was gone for an evening or day with one of her outside activities. In other words, I have never had to lie or manipulate circumstances to satisfy the urges. If I did, I am sure I would feel guilty.

As an aside, I began having the most intense urge ever in about October or so of last year. For the prior three years my wife had been dealing with a family situation in Louisiana for months on end. I never had the urge while she was gone because she was caring for my mother. My worry, etc. seemed to negate any interest in CDing. After the situation was sadly concluded about a year ago, she has been too exhausted mentally and physically to even want to go visit. I think she actually saw too much family for too long. At any rate, last fall's intense urge after a 3 year period of not dressing is just now deminishing somewhat. I have been irritable and short with people and very preoccupied and withdrawn. As I mentioned in another posts, my coming to this forum was an effort to have some participation in CDing, even if just in cyberspace.

In the next couple of months I may have the opportunity for another 2 plus week whirlwind of activity after a long absense.

[Farrah]

I know the feeling of the urges. Sometimes they are so strong. My wife does not know that I'm a CD. I haven't dressed fully in about 10 years. The urge is very strong. I usually go to the department stores and walmart to look at feminine items to decrease the urge. Sometimes it works, sometimes the urge is stronger. I'm hoping really soon that I can find a way to dress, but keep it to myself, because i really love my wife and I can't be selfish.

[il.dso]

Yes, I can relate to your post.
My urge to crossdress is unbelievably powerful.
When I have the urge, I must dress. It's not a choice.
Other aspects of my life get disrupted, like sleep and work.
So, I somehow find the time and opportunity despite have
a suspecting but unsupportive wife.
We're all doing the best we can.
Good luck to you.

[Angie G]

Back when I could dress only when I was on nights When my wife was working so I had times I did not dress for 2 week at a time. :hugs:
Angie

[daviolin]

I had the same problum you have for many years. I volinteered for secound shift on the job. And I could dress allmost everyday befor work it was great. I am currentlly retired so it is no problum dressing everyday. I just can't live without dressing.:hugs:Daviolin

[Michelle 51]

Well dear there is no magic pills you can take.I,d say you got 3 options
1 Be a man and tell her
2 Be a man and don,t tell her and don,t dress
3 Be a man and wear a dress and don,t tell her..This seems to be the favorite one for most of us till the time is right.

[JoAnnDallas]

I finially told my wife last summer that I was a CDer. We talked a lot and finially came to a aggreement. I get one Saturday afternoon a month to dress, go out, and do what I want. I try and combine this with the Saturday evening of my Tri-Ess meeting. That way I have about 12 hours of dressing time.
She does not want to see me fully dressed or see pictures of me fully dressed, but she knows I need some time to dress fully. So we compromised and came to a agreement.

[JoleneCDinPA]

Currently I am single, so dressing is not a problem for me!

[Claire3]

Live alone now.But when married,the urge always overpowered me.Thats not why we split,Always endevoured 2 dress while she was out,however.shell know one way or another,its your choice.

[Marla151]

IMHO, you should tell her if she doesn't let you dress you'll divorce her. It's hard enough to get the nerve up to tell anyone, but to tell the person that you love and supposedly loves you and get that reaction is harsh. You could get that from any number of people in the world, why take it from someone who is supposed to care about you and your well being. I can understand her not knowing how to react or not wanting to be a part of it, but you should be able to have time to do it on your own. It is a part of who you are and to be denied that part of yourself can have serious psychological consequences such as the grumpiness and depression if mot worse. It's not like you want to have an affair or be a secret mass murderer, you just want to be you, and thats not something anyone should be denied, especially by someone that is supposed to love them. :2c:

[casey01]

Thanks for the comments everyone in some selfish way it seems to feel good when you know their are other people out there going throught the same thing. I guess I failed to let ya'll know that I have already told my wife, she wasn't too happy. So out of respect for her I don't dress.

Divorce is not an option for me, I don't wanna turn this into a reliogus dispute but GOD does not like divorce. My wife is my Proverbs 31.

I respect my wife for telling me that she doesn't like it. Can you blame her? Neither one of us knew until after we were married so in away she feels lied to and let down even though I didn't know either. Lets face it I'm not the "man" she thought I was when we married.

The good news is this!! after I wrote this last nite I told my wife what was wrong with me and why I was so depressed. I ended going to wal-mart a little while later and while I was there I called her and aske if I could buy something for my self......................................"yeah babe go ahead" !!!!!!!

Not trying to push the issue I only bought 1 bra, a black water bra that is.
When I got home I told her I was gonna go in the other room and watch T.V.
so I could wear it and relax. She insisted I stay with her so I put it on and we laid on the couch together with her behind me.

Once again thanks for all your replies even if I didn't agree with all of them I can relate and it helps knowing that everyone of you took time out to read my problem and went even further to write some helpfull advise.
Thanks Casey

[teresa jeen]

i tell my wife that im gonna get relaxed and heck just be relaxed. i cannot go totally cause of the G/Dau.shell be 8 in 6.777899778997 hrs.!!!! :heehee:according to her!!! i have to pick and choose my moments. its not all about me. sometimes i have to let things go. i cannot decide when i want to be someone that society decides i can be that someone. i gotta go when i can. cause if i wait for them to make that choice im screwed!!! this is after-all my life!!! but i dont want to force the issue on a little one. my wife is o k with it, she, thank god is understanding.

[Marla151]

Sorry Casey, I read someone elses post and thought your wife had threatened you with divorce first. I'm glad that you both found a compromise through talking about it. Good luck.

[Eugenie]

Recently, I haven't had that urge, I feel "femme" all the time,even when not dressed.

But a few years ago, when the urge was coming at a time my wife was at home, I would go to my bedroom and lock myself in.

My wife knew what it meant that I act like that... She didn't like it too much but prefered it to the alternative of having me grumppy all day long...

Now I have enough occasions to be "en femme" with the approval of my wife, providing I don't do it in her presence.

:hugs:
Eugenie