suzannecarr
02-07-2008, 04:43 PM
while i was thinking about it, i have to say something! i have a daughter she is very young, she is gonna be so pretty( i know everybody says that!) her hair is lightening she has piercing blue eyes, i can tell honestly she is gonna look like i have dreamed of and i hope i get to see her as a young women!! she is an angel ( in my opinion) and even though i worry about all kinds of things (global warming, war, famine, the comet thats supposedly coming on friday the 13th in a few years btw! disease etc..) i think of how i would love the chance to relive my life as a girl, teen, woman, there is so much there! there are so many life experiences that i , well, feel cheated out of!! birthdays, friends, proms, first dates, first kiss, first uh! well you know!! first prom dress for that matter, first (hopefully only) wedding dress, again friends to share with, laugh , cry, talk, etc. there are so many things, i am enjoying her so much, its like a gift , and that again brings back the old thing where i wish that physically i could carry children and then nurture them , i feel as if i could have been such a good mother( already kinda am) its just so hard to let go of these thoughts and feelings, i see other young girls, on tv, movies, characters , and really just seeing little girls as i go through life i guess as i get older mortality starts to set in but i dont see things through the eyes that i am supposed to because i dont think about masculine regrets, i really dont have many of those especially that even come close to feminine ones!, i hope im understood here, i am gonna try to be the best( mother,father) parent, that i can to all my children one thing that femininity does for me( i think thats what it is anyway!) i really am pretty good at living in the moment with my children, i see things that my so doesnt see and from my experience probably never will! i notice moments , i notice firsts' i notice feelings , and i try to acknowledge and express my feelings about those things as best i can to them!! my daughter is the light of my life, along with my other children, and they stick together( which i teach , and i love that they have responded too!) i dont post that much but ive posted alot in the last 24 hours, i guess i am wearing my feelings again , expression is a great thing, and yeah my posts are sometimes more like letters but thats me!! i guess some of the posts ive read lately have just made me realize that there are so many girls out there who are feeling the same things i do and it makes me happy and sad at the same time! happy that im not alone ,but also sad that so many have been burdened with this responsibility , torch, great weight! so many ways to look at it! i can also see that there are many deep girls here and that seems to include their spouses( sometimes the spouses are knee deep!< anyway i will shut up now!( thats my new closing line ok!< suzanne:hugs:
the question was, does anyone else ever think of any of these things , talk amongst yourselves, the topic, we are neither here or there, but we are somewhere(not really!))suz:hugs:
the question was, does anyone else ever think of any of these things , talk amongst yourselves, the topic, we are neither here or there, but we are somewhere(not really!))suz:hugs: