Did you go through depression at the beginning?

[tgirlinva]

Sorry, this is the only place I could turn to in order to relieve what's on my chest. I have recently only started to crossdress and being Asian, I'm supposed to have some sort of genetic win with this whole thing, but when I look in the mirror, I don't see a passable girl. I hate everything about my body, from the head to the calves to the shoulders... and that depresses me a lot. No matter how much I exercise I do or money I spend, I still feel like a guy in a wig. I don't know why... but I feel like I'm going through this phase where I wish I was born a girl, a hot girl like Harisu. I met this guy online who used to date a full-time girl. And he sent me a picture, she looks very good, very passable. And now it's been two weeks we've been chatting/emailing, and I think I'm starting to like him. But I'm not sure that my feelings will be reciprocated when we finally meet and i'm not like his ex-gf. Did you go through what I'm feeling? what did you do to overcome it?

[Carol A]

None of my business BUT why would you in the first place mislead this person?. You know all of us girls are not "hot chicks".:2c:

[Shelly Preston]

Hi there

Just slow down there is no great rush to meet this guy
I am sure of one thing you really need to know your feelings before you go meeting someone
I am sure you can describe yourself well enough to him before you meet or use a webcam


We all have times when we dont like our appearance but we make the best of what we have

[Katie Ashe]

First off being Asian is a good thing. It is easier your your type to pass as desired sex. Most of us here are still in depression. How I am working through it changing one thing at a time about myself until I like it. Name, facial hair, what ever... it takes time... Most of us are impatient for sure. As for dating and such I'll leave that to the more expierenced girls here... :hugs:

[Fresh_Face]

Sorry, this is the only place I could turn to in order to relieve what's on my chest. I have recently only started to crossdress and being Asian, I'm supposed to have some sort of genetic win with this whole thing, but when I look in the mirror, I don't see a passable girl. I hate everything about my body, from the head to the calves to the shoulders... and that depresses me a lot. No matter how much I exercise I do or money I spend, I still feel like a guy in a wig. I don't know why... but I feel like I'm going through this phase where I'm becoming very suicidal and that I wish I was born a girl, a hot girl like Harisu. I met this guy online who used to date a full-time girl. And he sent me a picture, she looks very good, very passable. And now it's been two weeks we've been chatting/emailing, and I think I'm starting to like him. But I'm not sure that my feelings will be reciprocated when we finally meet and he finds out i'm not this hot chick he had in mind. Did you go through what I'm feeling? what did you do to overcome it?

I don't get it - are you trying to force yourself or something? If it's making you depressed, here's a thought: why don't you stop. Or are you trying to say that you think you're transexual, and are depressed/suicidal about not being what your mind is telling you you should be?

[tgirlinva]

None of my business BUT why would you in the first place mislead this person?. You know all of us girls are not "hot chicks".:2c:

I am not misleading this person, not at all! I told him exactly how I look like, etc.. I never carried myself to be this hot chick. but I myself want to be as hot, if not hotter than the person he dated. B/c I like this person. But never did I mislead this person.

[tgirlinva]

I don't get it - are you trying to force yourself or something? If it's making you depressed, here's a thought: why don't you stop. Or are you trying to say that you think you're transexual, and are depressed/suicidal about not being what your mind is telling you you should be?

I don't stop b/c instead of giving up, I want to become fully passable. Some people do it regardless of whether they're passable or not, but I, who want to become passable and be in a relationship, want to strive towards that goal.

[mike47]

I try not to worry about it for now. I do wish I did look better but it doesn't depress me that much. I do need to work harder on my stomach and would like to lose somemore wieght. With all the running I do like my legs though. lol! My advise is to relax and take it easy. If it is meant to be it will come.

[MJ]

well i can't say too much you give no clues . you have no avatar no profile picture . Asian girls are gorgeous . but are you being a little hard on yourself.
try to relax this person likes you just go with your common interests .
i am no supermodel but should some one come along i hope it's not my looks that score ..
and yes i deal with depression and sometimes feel silly being real .
i say try to be honest and real with him all we have is the truth .
i wish you well .

[Angie G]

No I never have been depressed about dressing hun I'm just a happy person :hugs:
Angie

[shannonsilk]

You're not alone. Every GG/RW ( I stereotype, please forgive me) wishes they were hot. The truth is many are not. We all must learn to love ourselves for what we are. It i s better than wishing we were something we are not.

[GailTulane]

Livna, I believe that most of being sexy, desirable, etc., has to do with your presentation. There are basics that every girl, gg or *T, has to figure out to look decent. If trial and error don't work for you, I suggest that you try a professional makeover to learn how. After that, I believe that it mostly depends on how you present yourself. Cute hot femme butch or macho , are not physical attributes; they are modes of behavior.
Recently, I saw a TV film called "Soldier's Girl", where the TG lead is played excellently by a male actor. I was most impressed with her acting and clear understanding of femme as a presentation, rather than as look. You always feel that she is a desirable woman. If you can get a copy, I would suggest watching it carefully and learning from it.
Hope this helps.
Hugs,
Gail

[Julie York]

It's an interesting contradiction that most CDs come to learn that they are not that great looking as males, or they are, or they look average. But when they dress up they want to look drop dead gorgeous because somewhere in the back of their mind....they are!

[TxKimberly]

. . . I hate everything about my body, from the head to the calves to the shoulders... and that depresses me a lot. . .
. . . Did you go through what I'm feeling? what did you do to overcome it?

Not just yes, but hell yes. I went through serious depression when I was younger but I'm pretty well past the worst of it. Every once in a while it jumps up and slaps me, but not so bad or so often these days.

What did I do to overcome it? Accepted who and what I am. Once you look at yourself and down deep inside decide that "This is who I am and it's not so bad, and I am not ashamed of myself", then you will be OK. There's just no point in being upset with the world that I was not born female, or 5ft 2, or rich, or beautiful, etc, etc
This is the life we were dealt. We can cry about it and be miserable all of our lives, or we can try and grab it by the horns and have what fun we can, while we can.
I read a quote online that sort of sums it up. I cant find the quote so I'll just try and give you the general idea. It was something about someone not wanting to die a quiet and peaceful death. Instead, this person wanted to slide into the after life like a baseball player going for home, wiping the sweat out of his eyes and saying "phew, THAT was one WILD ride!"
OK, I'm NOT that person, but I really like the idea and want to be that kind of person. :-)
So stop beating yourself up about what you are, and what you are not. Put a smile on your face and go enjoy your life. Go meet your boy and be proud, confident, and happy. I assure you that you will make a much better impression with that attitude than if your bummed and self conscious.

[Danille]

Kimberly has some really sage advice there. Buckle up buttercup and take her advice to heart or you might end up butter side down in life.
d

[Kate Simmons]

I personally don't see the problem Hon, especially if you already told him what you look like. Besides, relationships are based on feelings and people and not looks. Until you actually meet and get to know each other somewhat, you won't know if the two of you will "click" anyway. Everything looks good on paper and the Internet. Good luck.

[Lidia_tv]

Never had that feeling. I started dressing because it suited me, everything else was not as important

[Melora]

Oh Yes.. Lots of it, for many different reasons and some of it was because of crossdressing, But not soo much because of the practice within itself but the lyeing to my spouce and not "feeling" like I could do a thing about IT.. Untill SHE caught me.. And we talked.. She understood, And what a weight lifted off of my shoulders.. Though I am part of the ones who has an "understanding" wife, but she does not want to take an active part in my little life fascination/fetish...
You only need to be truthfull, no matter what you fear.. I wish I told the TRUTH to her about 10 tears ago.. I would have done so.. If I would have known..How many others out there feel the same way?? = God I wish I could have told her back then??
Melora

[sexotik]

From what i can understand this guy believes you're a girl. Am I rite? IMO there's no point in starting sth with lies.If I am wrong,I apologize.

If it makes you feel any better, I am going through sth similar. There are days when I feel so happy or elated about my crossdressing, yet there are moments in which I think this is just an illusion.
I haven't fully dressed, and I sometimes I feel so encouraged by all the stories that I read here. But I also feel like time's ticking and perhaps I will never x dress. It's a big deal to me.If you want to pm me , go ahead, I think I'm a good listener.

Good luck and hold on, remember you can always come here and pour your heart out.

[Amy Hepker]

First off if you are feeling depressed go to a doctor and just tell him you need anti-depression medicine. Tell him you are having problems in your life and you need them. It is better to ask for them than to be put away for trying to kill yourself. You need to have your head on straight before you get into realionships with anyone. It can be very depressing being a crossdresser and don't be afraid to ask for help. You don't have to tell them you are a crossdresser either. You may want to see a councilor also, but be truthful with him about your crossdressing. They won't tell your secret, most doctors don't care if you are a crossdresser, only what is wrong with you.

[Carly D.]

I wouldn't say depression so much as guilt.. I always thought that I was the only one in the known universe that liked to dress this way, other than the actors on television.. then I heard of a guy in the school I was in had shaved his legs, not that this means he crossdressed but shaving your legs is suspicious behavior, seeing that he wasn't a jock... and a classmate of mine tried on a girls heels coming back from a music contest.. he said he wore the same size shoes as she did and she let him try them on.. he was wearing socks so his feet are probably smaller than hers.. anyway he put them on and walked up and down the isle a few rows.. wished I were him for that brief moment... and then the internet opened my eyes to the fact that there are quite a few crossdressers out there..