So what did you think of CD/TS before you realized you are one too?

[Nicole Erin]

I guess most of us didn't really know this straight out of the womb.
Of course I dressed a bit most of my life, but it was a guilty pleasure I didn't like to think about unless it was at attention.

Before I had this thought - "What would it be like to dress totally as a woman?" [about the time I was 22 or 23] I thought -

CD'ing was like some ultimate expression of being gay. [I was way wrong most of us are straight]

Some CD's were HAWT [even tho I could not admit this even to myself. This reality messed with my mind badly back then]

CD's could not be normal looking men if they looked that feminine even with makeup. [Yet we are as normal looking as any man.]

That since at the time all I wore was lingerie and hose, I was NOT CD.

Back then, I was a man's man. To even hear about a CD or TS was a threat to my masculinity. Now *I* am a threat to such for others :devil:

I guess I had a lot of mixed feelings. On one hand I thought it was wack, but on the other hand, I thought [God help me] that Ru Paul or Boy Geroge was pretty. [Quit laughing!]

It is like we fear the very things we are...

So what opinions or misconceptions did you have?

[TGMarla]

I didn't know about them until I was one!

:drink:

Burp!

[darla_g]

i never really thought about this up to my first experience at 13. after that i never had any negative feelings if that what you were getting at.

i stopped for a long time at 13 and it probably made my teen years easier. i hate to think if i was balancing the whole puberty thing the same time i was trying to dress.

when i got back into i had no reservations about joining THEM

[Michelle 51]

Since i was always attracted to womens cloths there never was a time i didn,t want to dress

[Cai]

(sorry to butt in here, but it seemed a relevant question)

I'm in the same boat as Marla - I wasn't even aware TS people existed, especially not FtM trans men. I knew MtF crossdressers existed, and I didn't have a problem with the idea. It's the same opinion I hold now - it doesn't hurt me, and they enjoy it, so why not?

[SandyR]

I guess for me. Since trying on my moms pantyhose at age 12, I felt so bad......

But these days, I shave my legs everyday, doing laser hair removal on my back and chest. Just got in a new dress, and it fits!

Plus, have the support of my wife. Lifes good.

Life is a big balance act..

Hugs!

SandyR

[Celeste]

I had always thought they were on real high powered drugs,getting into real over the edge sex,and not being very discreet about anything.I know now that I was stereotyping.I do remember reading back then that if you did cd you were not necessarily gay.

[teresa jeen]

i always felt that if it felt good ,was not illegal, and didnt hurt anyone... do you think that at some point we were subjected to having to watch our moms and sis's get dressed it influenced us? im not so sure if the aunts did it for me:heehee:

[LilSissyStevie]

I thought crossdressers were gay and since I was a crossdresser I must be gay, too. But it was girls that turned me on. I felt like a real freak.

[Susan.]

I knew I was a crossdresser long before I saw other crossdressers. So I've considered myself the gold standard when comparing others. I did think I was alone for the longest time though.

[sissystephanie]

I think I was born wearing a dress!:heehee: As my mother was ill a lot of the time when I was young, Grandma took care of my sister and I along with a girl cousin. As there were more dresses then boy clothes available for play clothes, I frequently spent my late afternoons as a girl. Yes, I even played with dolls. So I guess I have always been a CD, but not anything more. I was born a man, and always will be a man! Regardless of how much silk and lace I have on!

Sissy/Stephanie

Girl on the outside, man underneath

[Suzy Harrison]

At 12 years old when I started, I thought I was the only person in the world, as I'd never heard of it before. I was worried that if anyone found out I would be put in some mental home or something.

I felt ashamed and guilty for years - but not any more. It's the real me, so I'm happy with it...

[RobertaFermina]

Before I became a crossdresser, is in two phases:
1. before I ever crossdressed. Holloween Outing Phase.
2. before I started crossdressing as a consistent personal habit/expression. Crossdressing Everywhere phase.

1. Before ever CDing, I thought CD's were wierd, and confused, and TS's were lucky if they did not go nuts trying to find their way "home".

2. Before "really" getting deep into CDing, I had helped manage the at-work transition of one of my employees, and gotten my first dress and shoes from her. Having that in my background, I was open to CDers being "just like everyone else", except they were courageous in a way that I well understood. As for TS's, I knew you were all such heroes to claim yourselves when even your own body has betrayed you ! Amazing!



:rose: Roberta :rose:

[sandra-leigh]

I didn't think about crossdressing very much before I wuz. Cross-dressing did not, in the abstract, bother me, but it was not a part of my life -- it was something that happened in the drag bars in Montreal or the like.

I do remember vaguely considering (in my early 20s) joining the monthly audience-participation Rocky Horror cast, not because of the cross-dressing but as an outlet of expressing sexuality (and maybe, if I was lucky, finding a female bedmate or two), and if that meant putting on a Merry Widow, that didn't bother me. But I didn't do anything at all towards this. It wasn't exactly "shyness" that stopped me, but it would be more than another 20 years before I was able to express any kind of sexuality publicly.

I do remember being disgusted, not so long ago, at "chicks with d*cks", which I had encountered from time to time in pornography, and always with the implication of either outright homosexuality or (commonly) of tricking some guy into homosexuality, pretending to be a woman and deliberately seducing an unknowing guy. I associate the terms "T-girls" and (especially) "********" with this. I still find the male seduction morally disturbing and when I think of it, it negatively colours my ideas about "crossdressing" -- it is a world apart (in my mind) from the dressing I do. The change that I have undergone in this regard is that I have found that I rather like the idea of me having lovely breasts (without giving up any of my body parts). I can read postings on here from people saying things like, "I'm a natural 44D {for whatever reason}" and I think to myself, "Lucky!", not "Oh, Gross!". I don't look at the ******* pictures to get an idea of how I could look: I rarely look at any of them at all; I do study a wide variety of GG pictures for inspiration on what look I would most like (if painless magic existed...)

[Jaquelyn]

Well, since like alot here, I dressed a little when I was young-it was all sexual and kinky, and weird; didn't really know why I did it. Once I was old enough to know about crossdressers, around 16 or so, they seemed almost freakish to me, yet, I was intrigued too; kinda like I always thought about it, but it seemed to strange, or taboo to REALLY do it. It wasn't until a few years ago, that I really began to explore this part of me, and what it means....and that is an ongoing, changing thing. One day I love being a crossdresser, the next, maybe not so much. I guess I'm just moody. LOL

[PameeSue]

Growing up in small town thinking, I used to believe it was a gay thing....and had many other misconceptions too.

Being attracted to girls, I thought that I was specially twisted and alone.
Maybe thats where guilt for me crept in,....tho I'm sure the guilt was more toward rummaging through someones panty drawers and stealing for my selfish pleasures.

I guess CDing was explained further from internet...not alone anymore.:thumbsup:

I only knew of one other person that dressed...a teenager, and he was treated with snickers from neighbors and real poor understanding (if any at all), suffering through depressions and endless thearapies.....knowing that, I pushed my secrets deeper into my own closet!....until.....oh thats not for this thread.

:hugs:

[Angie G]

I'm one that had none I never thought I was jay or screwed up It just always felt right to dress And I've always loved doing it :hugs:
Angie

[jennCD]

I was 10 or 11,.. so all I knew back then was "Hey look, Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd look much better as girls!"

:)
jenn

[lovelingerie6]

i never have thought of myself being gay but i have loved to dress in womens clothing as long as i can remember moms was the best and some of the sexiest i ever had

[corrinediane]

Always adored them! Earliest memories of wearing girls clothes was 7 or 8. Sneaking around and hiding in the bathroom and under beds. I just couldn't come out and admit openly that I liked them when I was younger though I dressed as often as I could. I had opportunities through my teens and early twenties to actually come out to others like me but never had the guts. Even now I'm guarded with my opinion. Better to keep quiet then rouse suspicion. It's funny the curves life throws at you. I wouldn't change anything as I am very content with my life but after having a week to be Corrine and having to go back to my other persona I will miss her. Oh, but she will pop in from time to time, just not in all her glory! I can still smell a hint of her perfume.

[Jennaie]

I always have been one so I never was judgmental. Before I dressed I was jealous of them, especially the one's that were so pretty. I lived in LA during my teenage years and saw all that a person could see. Wish I knew then what I know now. Isn't that always the case.

[jessicacn74]

i knew i was a female in a mans body and i am working on bring my true self out yes i am a gay male but one day i well be the woman i always wanted to be at the starte, i have been crossdressing for years and come to find out that i am a woman and i will fix myself to be the woman i want to be....................... jessica e. rains:happy:

[docrobbysherry]

I'm 60, and that's what we called "gay" people back then.

Never occurred to me to try on ladies things until about 8 years ago. I never would have believed then, that I could become Sherry 6 years later!
I knew at that time I wasn't gay, but I was pretty sure every other CD was. Not that there was ever anything wrong with that, just that I'm not. So I felt like the oddball of oddballs.

I DID know I was becoming some kind of weird sick pervert, and I'm still working my way around that thot today!
RS

[Angela Burke]

I honestly thought I was the only boy in the world who liked wearing girls clothes until I was about 12/13 yrs old. It never even crossed my mind to ask my mother if there were any other boys like me. This may sound naive but there was no mass media as such when I was growing up, nobody ever referred to crossdressers or transvestites, there was some playground talk about "poofs" but I was never really sure what this meant.
I eventually found out what I was in that font of all knowlege "The Encyclopedia Britannica", I then began researching the subject and it was a great relief to find that there were hundreds maybe thousands of boys just like me. I was a "crossdresser" and I loved (and still do) being one.
My only regret is there was no internet, no sites like this. Why couldn't those boffins have invented the thing about 40 years earlier?

[JoAnnDallas]

Back in the 1950's, a boy wearing girl clothing was a either a "Queer" or a "Sissy". Both could get you beat up, raped, and thrown in jail. Yes back then in many states it was a criminal offense for a man to dress as a woman. Only in the movies was it OK. (Some Like it Hot). I grew up with two older sisters, so with mother there were always a lot of female stuff going on. I learn early that it was easier to sit and pee than to stand, becuase that way I did not get yelled at for leaving the seat up. Both my sisters and my mother were into the social stuff, where the girls dressed up in evening gowns, high heels, makeup, and such. I got wondering what it was like, as my sisters and mother seem to enjoy themselves a lot. So I decide to dress up and see what it was all about. I soon discovered I really enjoyed dressing up as a girl. I never imagioned that it was wrong or that there were others like me that enjoyed dressing as a girl. I ready to tell my mother how I enjoyed dressing as a girl and want to be a girl, when a scandel happen with the assistant Mayor of our town. It was discovered that he like to dress as a woman and got out as a woman. It was in the papers how he was a sick, perverted, evil person and should not only not be in office but should be charged and put in jail. He was thrown out of office and he and his family had to leave town. This scared to living hell out of me and there was no way now I was going to tell my mother or anyone else that I liked to dress as a girl or want to be a girl. So deep into the closet I went. The rest is history.

[susan2010]

I'm a child of the 50's, too. I thought I was the only boy in the world who wanted to wear his sister's petticoats, but I always knew I loved girls! Even when a lot of the other boys thought girls were icky, I loved 'em and still do. Later, when I learned about cross-dressers, I thought they were all sicko homosexuals. It wasn't until I had a college course in Human Sexuality that I learned there were hetrosexual cds.

[joann07]

I guess most of us didn't really know this straight out of the womb.
Of course I dressed a bit most of my life, but it was a guilty pleasure I didn't like to think about unless it was at attention.

Before I had this thought - "What would it be like to dress totally as a woman?" [about the time I was 22 or 23] I thought -

CD'ing was like some ultimate expression of being gay. [I was way wrong most of us are straight]

Some CD's were HAWT [even tho I could not admit this even to myself. This reality messed with my mind badly back then]

CD's could not be normal looking men if they looked that feminine even with makeup. [Yet we are as normal looking as any man.]

That since at the time all I wore was lingerie and hose, I was NOT CD.

Back then, I was a man's man. To even hear about a CD or TS was a threat to my masculinity. Now *I* am a threat to such for others :devil:

I guess I had a lot of mixed feelings. On one hand I thought it was wack, but on the other hand, I thought [God help me] that Ru Paul or Boy Geroge was pretty. [Quit laughing!]

It is like we fear the very things we are...

So what opinions or misconceptions did you have?

I kind of had the same thoughts as you when I was growing up.
I knew about crossdressers, but associated them with gay males and drag queens.
Growing up, I was just like any other kid who rode a bike; played with boy toys; built model cars, planes, and boats; played video games; etc, etc. and the thought of dressing never even crossed my mind.

At some point in my early life I developed a fetish for women's feet and pantyhose and so I ended up wearing pantyhose, on occasion, up until a about 2 years ago when I started fully dressing.

[MJ]

great question to me they always look beautiful . i was amazed at how they did it ?. and i thought you had to be gay to dress up .. and i was jealous of the girls .

.......Come to think it's all your fault YOU made me this way .......:tongueout

[Valeries_Online]

Being raised in the SF Bay area I knew about most of the different walks of life there. I heard a lot of jokes and what have you relating cd/tg people to being homosexuals. Polk st. mission district and all that to me at that time meant gay district. My outlook never really changed until I began to research it for myself and loose my ignorance. California isn't the mecca of tolerance some would like to dream it is in my opinion. I always had an issue with appearing gay so I repressed a lot of my less masculine attributes from others. I didn't start dressing till late so I didn't have any issue with myself other than not living up to society and friends views of masculinity.

[tommi]

I have worn my mom's pantyhose as far back as I can remember then when I was getting interested in girls I snuck one of the issues of playboy.
Just so happens there was an article discussing transgender people that is
when I realised it wasn't just me.
I never thought anything was wrong about it,but I wouldn't come out of the
closet because of a gay cousin who the family ridcules.
I figured better to dig into the back of the closet then have that type of
problem. I also felt that if I dated being a heterosexual male and could maintain a long term relationship that these feelings would go away.
That is probably the worst misconseption of many of us(my Opinion) and is
usually what leads into hiding our crossdressing.

[tommi]

One other footnote my cousin who is gay was married and had 2 beautiful daughters before he came out.
One of his attempts to cover up was volunteering for Vietnam.

[KandisTX]

I personally spent many of my early years wondering if I was the only one that did this. I spent many countless hours feeling guilty for doing what I was doing, why could I not stop myself from wanting to wear my mothers and sisters clothing, why did I want to wear panties with scented pantyshields in them? What was wrong with me that I acted like this? It was not until I came out to my mother (step-mother but more of mother than mom was), and she was okay with my wearing her things as long as I cleaned them before I returned them, and took me shopping for my own stuff that fit me better did I realize that I was not the only one, this was something that was more prevalent in this world than I had ever dreamt it was. It was years after that when my second wife decided she was going to try to change me by scaring me out of dressing by dressing me up completely that I realized that what I really wanted was to go as far as I could without hormones and surgery to be who I truly was. I am a crossdresser and that’s all there is to it. It took many years after that before I got up the nerve to seek a support group and finally go out in public while dressed en femme.

Kandis:love:

[Katie Ashe]

I was brought up by peer pressure. I made fun of gays all the time, as teen seen people with breast and penis, and called them freaks. Completely not understanding anything, but picked on them cause that's what my "friends" did. In the mean time secretly dressed, think ing something was wrong with me. I was 14ish and was caught dressed by one friend, he told everyone. needless to say our friendship of 7 years ended a few months later. He was the most popular boy in school and I was the nerd... I knew picking on them was wrong, I didn't even know what they were called :o, but My mom didn't want to deal with it, telling me to grow up... Into what? ... is what I wanted to know. The ultimate stab in my back is I was one of those I picked on, and didn't know what they were till I found this site. Anyways, I'm sorry for my actions, please forgive me, I didn't know any better... :titanic:
P.S. I was called a sissy for many years by my own family, yes it hurt.

[TV Wannabe]

I probably believed what my parents believed, that CD's are gay.

[SweetCaroline]

One of my earliest memories was of crossdressing, so it's hard for me to answer. I suppose I didn't realize it was alright and that there were others out there until my late teen years.

As a kid I was secretly fasinated with shows like Bossom Budies since they were able to dress-up as women and get away with it, and I did have an odd fixation with women who had deep voices or who were lip-syncing to male voices, which I didn't understand at the time, but now do. I always wished I could go from being a boy to a girl anytime I chose, but I never wanted to be one hundred percent girl, just a boy who was allowed to wear dresses so growing up crossdressers or mixed gender people just drew me in.

[Mitch23]

I remember going to my first support group meeting about a year ago, looking round at all those 'weird people' and then realising that I'm one too

mitch

[Deborah Jane]

First they kind of scared me as i thought i could be one too.
Then i tried to ignore them as i thought i could be one too.
After that i knew i was probably one too!
Now!! I,m proud to be one too!!

[Lisa Golightly]

I was all Sindy dolls and Barbie as a kid and wanted to grow up to be Dancer with high heels and spangly costume... Guess I was screwed from the off :)

[Nicole Erin]

Well I didn't know if this thread would go anywhere or not, but some of the responses are very interesting.

I thought I was a late starter cause I didn't dress fully until like 22 or 23. But some here didn't dress fully until over 50. Better late than never.

JoAnn Dallas - I cannot even imagine growing up decades ago in a rough state like Texas. I hope things in your parts are easier now.


So it seems the popular opinion is that CD and gay are directly connected. WE know there no connection, but explaining that to others, they just don't get it.

Lisa - I imagine there are Sindy dolls for sale on some sites, even if but to get back a part of your childhood.

[Eugenie]

Before I knew that I was a crossdresser, like many teenagers, I thought that I was alone to do things like these...

Then I came accros a book by one of the pioneers of Transsexual surgical operation "Coccinelle". I didn't really associate with her experience bu that made me understand that some people wanted to change gender so badly that they were ready to go through terrible experiences to reach their goals.

There was very little information on Crossdressing in these years. I had almost none. Much later on I saw the movie "La cage aux folles" but I associated the character more to hoosexuality than to x-dressing. Eventhough the movie isn't giving a very good for the image of crossdressers, it made me be far more tolerant for homosexuality.

I still felt a lot of guilt from wearing women underwear and clothes...

It took me years to finally accept that I was a crossdresser... And more years not to feel guilty about it...

Now I'm feeling fine.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Andine]

Yes ... it was the same for me .... My mother was an artist, with no comprehension about the need to fit in with others. One day she sent me to school in black tights under my compulsory shorts as it was cold in St Pe' de Bigorre. ( 10 ks from Lourdes ) I suffered the ridicule of the whole school!!
In Australia when I was a teenager, my mother started collecting used clothes to help people back in Poland. These bags of stuff were my first playground, and the taboo of what I was doing was extreemly enticing!

These days there is a great deal of acceptance in our societies, and so I feel free to explore a lot more. The last 10 years have brought me to trying to pass and go out at last!
My next adventure is a hotel booking for the end of the month, in Oxford st Sydney for the Mardi Gras w/end. It is an extremely open w/end with little threat to any one who wants to play. The hotel expect that most of the clientelle will be of this ilk. Should be fun!

Love it!!

[sherib]

When I was young I sided with my friends when they said they hated somebody. For myself the only people that bothered me was the CD's that were overly female. You know, like the one's you see on Jerry Springer shows and how they had them act in movies. But I was one of them an I never could be like that. They gave all CD's/TS's bad reputations.

[Sharon]

I was young when I realized what I was and had never even heard of crossdressing or transsexuality. It was also to be quite awhile before I knew I wasn't the only person to feel this way.

[tanya3]

i don't recall having an opinion either way . i think i have allways been a crossdresser . :2c:

[Genifer Teal]

For me it is like which came first, the chicken or the egg? The first time I saw a woman in really high heels and was old enough to realize how difficult they might be to walk in, I had to know for myself. The first time I saw a man impersonate a woman was probably on the Phill Donahue talk show. I was immediately fascinated and proceeded to find out for myself what it was like.

Of course this all took time (10 years?) - during which I thought I must be the only one obsessed with this. Eventually the internet came along and I quickly learned I wasn't the only one. I can't believe I had internet access for several months before I thought to look up this topic. Seems obvious now. I look everything up. Back then it was new and it didn't occour to me to look up CD ot TG.

Gen

[Samantha B L]

The subject always kind of scared me because I knew I was a CD deep down. I've had intervals in my life when I spent a long time trying to forget about my crossdressing. I faced up to it when I was about 19.

[lynnmcarthur]

I was three or four when I realized I wanted to be a girl. I knew that it was not ok because the people around me told me so. I was much older, maybe 13 when the Jorgensen thing happened and that scared me even more. Mostly, the years since have helped me to be more accepting of myself.

[JoAnnDallas]

For years I always wondered what it would be like to meet other CDers. Then in 2006 I got the chance to go to HEF. I meet many wonderful friends there and everyone treated me so well. My first thoughts was "WOW, they ae just like me, I am not alone". Many found out it was my first time dressed in public and made it a kind of a coming out party. I now belong to the local Tri-Ess chapter and love going to their meetings.

[Ashlee]

Since I've known since childhood I was "different" those who are like us who I've met have never been looked upon differently by me at all. I do find it strange that I was born this way. I mean, If I was born "normal" I might find the whole men dressing in womens clothing repulsive, sick, twisted, deviant, gay - whatever titles you can think of. Instead, I see nothing wrong with it, I"m not fazed in the least when I meet people like us in person and I have during makeovers. We are normal, everyday people with a special gender gift that's not quite accepted or a better word to use is "understood". I wish I had CD friends in real life that I hang out with in male mode (who knows, I might and not know it?)