View Full Version : Off hand remark - or something more
Suzy Harrison
02-12-2008, 06:59 AM
One of the female sales reps I work with said something to me the other day which left me wondering a little.
We were chattting in the office and were about to go our own seperate ways. She was putting on a Lip Plumper and said to me " If you ever want a lip plumper, don't buy this brand it's rubbish" - She then put it in her bag and left.
An off hand jokey remark - or is she aware ?
I was tempted to tell her I use that particular brand and it works fine for me!
Tamara Croft
02-12-2008, 07:03 AM
LOL, I dunno if she was aware, but I think that's kinda funny :heehee: You go tell her next time that it works just great :lol: maybe she's using it all wrong lol!!!
"Mary"
02-12-2008, 07:29 AM
I've had people say such things to me for other products that they should know darn well that I don't use. I'll bet it was just a casual way of saying that they don't like a product enough to to dis-recommend it. Folks often do the opposite - "if you ever go to Death Valley California, eat at...." like I'm actually going to go there.
All right now Suzy - enough with the mundane likely reality.
How would you like it if she did mean something?!? What if she's a brilliantly perceptive detective? How would you feel about her putting all the pieces together and making sense out of all the tiny clues that you have left with out realizing it.
Would it be kind of fun to have an "open secret" with her? Is she the type that would find all this deliciously sexy and become a closer associate?
Or is she a cold blooded B that will slowly betray you with off hand remarks here and there, playing a psychological game of cat-and-mouse?
Titillating, eh?
Diana
Suzy Harrison
02-12-2008, 07:46 AM
.
Would it be kind of fun to have an "open secret" with her? Is she the type that would find all this deliciously sexy and become a closer associate?
Or is she a cold blooded B that will slowly betray you with off hand remarks here and there, playing a psychological game of cat-and-mouse?
Titillating, eh?
Diana
No she's really nice and we've always got on well together. Although she would never do anything to hurt me, she's not very good at keeping secrets either !
As somebody on this forum once told me:
The quickest forms of mass communication:
Television
Telephone
Tellafriend
Christina Louise
02-12-2008, 08:23 AM
No she's really nice and we've always got on well together. Although she would never do anything to hurt me, she's not very good at keeping secrets either !
Since you get on well together and don't seem to have talked to her about your private life, then it's just one of those expressions that people use when they've bought/done something with which they are then disappointed - nothing to do with you or your tastes whatsoever.
Emily Ann Brown
02-12-2008, 08:27 AM
Your fem side gives off signals that make her comfortable sharing thoughts she wouldn't with a "normal" man. My money is on she doesn't know.
Emily Ann
Angie G
02-12-2008, 08:34 AM
I think she was just tlking Suzy don't worry about i:hugs:
Angie
Chari
02-12-2008, 08:56 AM
Hi Suzy, Some times people just throw out lines to see what they can catch. Had a co-worker that would always tell me about her lingerie-color, style, fit, and jokingly(?) said often she "would like to dress me up wearing something like she had on to have me really understand what she was talking about". I laughed it off, but deep down I wished I could play dress up with her. We all carry secrets - wonder what your co-workers is.:heehee:
Carol A
02-12-2008, 09:02 AM
I have had people ask me about my nails as I keep then file and paint:thumbsup:ed in clear. I tell them yes I do polish them and are they great looking.
Kate Simmons
02-12-2008, 09:20 AM
Sounds like a fairly innoculous comment to me Suz but knowing myself, I would probably "play" that for all it's worth.;):happy:
pamela_a
02-12-2008, 12:05 PM
I guess that depends on what kind of standing relationship you already have with her. Like Salandra recommended, I would play it and have some fun.
Not long ago I was talking with one of the ladies at my office on a work related issue. When we were done she said something about she's still trying to figure me out. I laughed it off and told her if she does to let me know what she figured out. I'm thinking I may give it a few more days then ask her about it.
-Paula-
Anna the Dub
02-12-2008, 12:38 PM
She probably just feels comfortable with you, and was maybe doing a little fishing, just to see if you bit. I wouldn't worry about it at all. Everyone at my office knows all about me (it's hard not to miss my little breasts (:happy:) when I am wearing a tee shirt) and to be honest, no one cares one iota. Some of the women are really so supportive, some of the men too, but most people just don't care, as long as you do the job. I can no longer remember what it was like to be in the closet, I am so glad I am out.
Shelly67
02-12-2008, 02:30 PM
I,m getting the odd remark from a couple of guys where I slave all day . Theyre in each others pockets , and very crafty ,much older too , but theres no way on earth would I trust em with my private life . Thats the trouble with crossdressing - some accept , some don,t - some could be downright cruel with this private knowledge . Some shouldnt make outlandish statements , if theyre curious ( and close friends ) why can,t they ask outright ? I,m very suspect of folks who beat around the bush , and I certainly don,t think it,s because they,re embarressed or too nervous to ask up front . They seem to put on a front .
I ignore all remarks , and will continue to do so.
Suzy Harrison
02-12-2008, 07:14 PM
I'm not worried about this at all - and if I told her I'm sure she would accept it and things would be the same or even better between us.
The thing is, she wouldn't be able to contain it - she would tell our other female sales rep (who I also get one really well and am quite close to).
Between them the more special the secret, the harder it would be to hold back - they are bound to pass it on to even more people - you know the line ,... " don't tell anyone else but" ..:heehee:.
kathy001
02-12-2008, 09:44 PM
Women are VERY perceptive regarding even minute details along with that so called women's intuition! They'll be absolutely sure to spot plucked eyebrows, moisturized skin, shaven hand hair, etc.
Case in point, a couple weeks ago i needed to get a haircut after letting it grow down to my chin, OK haircuts are not a high priority for me! It was in the morning after an evening out enfemme. This hair cutting place is one of those unisex places with an all female staff.
The girl cutting my hair remarked half jokingly 'you know your hair is long enough to perm in a cute ladies style'. Was she really kidding or did she notice something like a trace of mascara, eyeliner, long well manicured nails, well moisturized face skin,etc.?
Later on when she was just about finished, they all usually ask if you want your brows trimmed. But this girl asked if i "wanted them arched, ugh i mean trimmed".
After that episode i don't go out drab until i've got at least a couple showers behind me and a days worth of stubble.
Suzy Harrison
02-13-2008, 04:30 AM
Women are VERY perceptive regarding even minute details along with that so called women's intuition! They'll be absolutely sure to spot plucked eyebrows, moisturized skin, shaven hand hair, etc.
.
That's interesting that you said that. Of course I pluck my eyebrows and have nice nails and hairless arms and hands - so I wonder if both of these reps had noticed.
It's also interesting to note - and it's only just sunk in now that I'm thinking about it. There are 3 guys and these two girls in our office. We all get on, but the two girls and I are pretty close compared to the others. It's one of those friendships that has developed over the years.
kathy001
02-13-2008, 10:43 AM
Suzy Harrison Wrote:
That's interesting that you said that. Of course I pluck my eyebrows and have nice nails and hairless arms and hands - so I wonder if both of these reps had noticed.
Suzy, you can bet the farm on it! :heehee:
Linda C
02-13-2008, 01:24 PM
Compelling... you should ask if she wants to borrow yours... and then say you were just kidding - well - maybe not - that might start up some real suspicion..? Do you want her to know?? Just curious..
Shelly67
02-13-2008, 03:02 PM
You are,nt kidding on a womans perception. A very close friend of mines partner recently brought up the subject of "trannies " , whilst we were having a drink one afternoon. She looked at her partner with almost a telepathic glint in her eye .... later in the day it was remarked on how long my nails were . I,d love to be able to tell em both , but I,m cautious , so not just yet .
They held a party for new years ( didnt go , stayed in as my wife was,nt too well ) but it really ate into me that this would have been a brilliant time for them to have met Michelle ........
Then again ..........blimey its a sensitive confession .....lol
tricia_uktv
02-13-2008, 03:13 PM
Suzy, I think its her way of telling you that she knows (or at least suspects). Its up to you where to take the knowledge. Might be a difficult one that, but she sounds like a good confidante - good luck!
SherriePall
02-13-2008, 03:49 PM
Suzy -- I think it was just one of those remarks meant to be so ridiculous that it has to be funny. Something like saying it's such a beautiful day that you're going swimming at a local lake when you know it is frozen over with two feet of ice and the weather is terrible.
But then I could be wrong and she suspects.
Jilmac
02-13-2008, 04:00 PM
If it had been me I would have told her which brand I used just to catch the expression on her face. Luv and :hugs: Jill
Kayla_CD
02-13-2008, 06:21 PM
I think when you're hiding a secret you always suspect people know more than you do. She doesn't know, it's just natural paranoia.
angelfire
02-13-2008, 06:35 PM
I agree with Kayla. She probably doesn't know. I've had women complain to me about how tough it is wearing heels. They are like "I'd like to see you wear them." and I just say "Sorry honey, they aren't even close to my size."
They don't suspect I CD, I am 95% positive. It was probably just a comment, and I think you are thinking about it way too seriously.
deja true
02-13-2008, 07:09 PM
Suzy, I think they know something, but it might not be what you suspect. If you really pluck your brows as much as they look in your flickr photos, (and count in the hands thing and the nail varnish thing) they gotta suspect something. I think it might be that, married or not, they might think your gay. If they've never had any contact with a CD, that would be the most likely assumption, I think. And remember, in general educated girls kinda like gay guys 'cos they're non-threatening, so they often talk with and treat gay male friends like girlfriends. Hence the off-handed lip plumper comment. (Remember that many assume that all gay men dress occasionally.)
So if you're cool with that and don't want to tell them about CDing, then go with that. If not, tell them you're a CD and maybe, if they're as good acquaitances as you think, then you've educated someone and maybe made some new friends for the rest of us. Whaddya think?
deja
Suzy Harrison
02-14-2008, 09:12 AM
Suzy, I think they know something, but it might not be what you suspect. If you really pluck your brows as much as they look in your flickr photos, (and count in the hands thing and the nail varnish thing) they gotta suspect something. I think it might be that, married or not, they might think your gay. If they've never had any contact with a CD, that would be the most likely assumption, I think. And remember, in general educated girls kinda like gay guys 'cos they're non-threatening, so they often talk with and treat gay male friends like girlfriends. Hence the off-handed lip plumper comment. (Remember that many assume that all gay men dress occasionally.)If not, tell them you're a CD and maybe, if they're as good acquaitances as you think, then you've educated someone and maybe made some new friends for the rest of us. Whaddya think?
So if you're cool with that and don't want to tell them about CDing, then go with that.
deja
I do pluck my eyebrows, but also cover then with an eyebrow wax which I can then draw in with a pencil - so in non femme (boring) mode they aren't quite as thin.
I'm sure she would be fine about it and would be very supportive - that's the good news. But the bad news - she could never hold it in. Once she's had a few drinks she spills all the beans, she can't help it. It's too big for her to hold back I think. The other sales rep is slightly better at keeping secrets, but she's also bound to tell the first one eventually
Suzy Harrison
02-20-2008, 05:26 AM
Another little development:
She phoned me today and asked if we had any cleaning alcohol available in our technical area. We use Isopropol Alcohol to clean medical instruments.
I said 'sure what do you need it for'.
She said she needed it to remove her false nails as she's fed up of paying a fortune to remove them at a salon.
Straight away I said "Well acetone would be better, we have some of that too" - she said "Oh that will be great - you know everything!"
She went on to say that's what they use in the salon to remove nails and charge a fortune. I told her you can buy a big bottle of it for a few dollars in a local hardware shop.
Afterwards I thought .....Mmmmm ?
She's either thinking I'm super bright or something else
Cherry Lynn
02-20-2008, 08:00 AM
She knows, "grin".
"Mary"
02-20-2008, 10:01 AM
I think she doesn't know, but it would be fun if that ball were in play. Remembering that she's sort of a blabber-mouth, it would still be fun.
DemonicDaughter
02-20-2008, 10:52 AM
Oh... this is interesting! Its like a espionage novel! "Case of the CrossDressing Co-Worker"! Okay, sorry, just had to. :D
If she knows, and you never give her a definitive answer, her questions/hints will become more obvious. If she doesn't know, then you might give yourself away inadvertently.
For some reason, I was reminded of the Kids in the Hall episode when they were trying to find out if a co-worker was gay by asking him if he wanted a hamburger with a beer or some intricate salad with a glass of wine for lunch. LOL! He stated both would be nice and they classified him as bi!
kathy001
02-20-2008, 02:20 PM
Suzy, Suzy, she probably doesn't know 100% but definitely suspects something! From your posts, i think she's trying to 'get it out' of you once and for all.
Lets look at the evidence so far.
You said:
a.) Of course I pluck my eyebrows and have nice nails and hairless arms and hands
b.) There are 3 guys and these two girls in our office. We all get on, but the two girls and I are pretty close compared to the others
c.) I was tempted to tell her I use that particular brand (lip plumper) and it works fine for me!.
My take:
a.)Women will definitely notice plucked eyebrows, nails and shaven arms/hands...thats what women do!
They may even have gotten a glimpse of your shaven leg without you knowing! Or a trace of leftover makeup! What about your nails? How much longer and more manicured are they than the average joe six-pack's? Could they have even noticed a trace of polish missed during removal?
b.) The fact that you have a closer repoire with the girls than the guy co-workers speaks volumes IMO. What is the reason you're not close with your guy co-workers? Do they suspect something also?
c.) Most guys would remark "What the hell is lip plumper or play dumb". You don't indicate any of your reply dialog here, buts thats what i would of done.
She said:
1.) She was putting on a Lip Plumper and said to me " If you ever want a lip plumper, don't buy this brand it's rubbish"
2.) She said she needed it to remove her false nails as she's fed up of paying a fortune to remove them at a salon.
"Oh that will be great - you know everything!"
She went on to say that's what they use in the salon to remove nails and charge a fortune. I told her you can buy a big bottle of it for a few dollars in a local hardware shop.
My take:
She's sharing girlie knowledge with you! She could very well be pumping you for more clues to affirm her suspicions. I've worked in male-dominated professions with a few women sprinkled in such as admin assistants whom i had very close professional contact with and none have ever even come close to those types of remarks.
One time years ago, my admin showed up at work with two totally different earings. I made some goofy remark like 'you going fishing today for two different kinds of fish?" She smiled and said you just don't understand, its the fashion trend these days". I just left it at that and went on to my staff meeting.
My advice, unless you want to come out at the workplace, i would not share your CDing with any of your co-workers even though from what you indicated they all suspect already. And if you really want to dispell the suspicions you might want to butch up with your male co-workers!
sybercom11
02-20-2008, 02:27 PM
I know one thing about remarks. After people get to know me and see the way I am as an individual, they start calling me Stevie. And since I prefer that and do not protest, they keep doing it.
But I think people see my gentle demeanor and since they see some of the things that I wear, even to work, they know what is going on.
deja true
02-20-2008, 02:54 PM
Suzy, Are you sure your not trying to give yourself away? Could be fun!
deja
Suzy Harrison
02-21-2008, 05:21 AM
deja true Suzy, Are you sure your not trying to give yourself away? Could be fun!
No, I was driving when she phoned me and so had my mind on the road as I'm giving replies on the phone. Maybe if we had been face to face I would have been more cautious.
kathy001 What is the reason you're not close with your guy co-workers? Do they suspect something also?
I get on fine with them, but I've always found it easier to get on with girls. I feel uncomfortable around guys as I feel I can't fit in, as I'm not like them. I'm sure they don't suspect.
DemonicDaughter If she knows, and you never give her a definitive answer, her questions/hints will become more obvious.
I think you're 100% right here
I don't think I want to tell her although I know she would be 100% supportive - it's too risky. If it was outside work I would feel different and would probably tell her
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