My Story

[siennacd]

Well I guess I'll fill ya'll in on my life story. I have been dressing like most of you since childhood. I'd say I was prob. 7 or 8 when I 1st put on my older sisters panties. In High school I'd dress every now and then but, stopped dressing in college. I met my wife in college and like most of you thought my dressing was behind me or could be cured. I dressed when she went out of town and eventually told her of my dressing about 1.5 yrs ago. At first she didn't know anything about cding but found information online. We went to a marriage counselor and she said she'd try to accept it. After about 6 months she said she couldn't and I said I'd stop dressing. After an episode of Ophra about 4 months ago (about cding) she asked if I still had urges and did I still dress. Our counselor moved so we had to find a new counselor. She has agreed to panties and for me to dress when she goes out of town. We both want the marriage to work for our daughter's sake and it would make life much easier w/2 incomes. We've had a strained relationship the last few months because it seems to be the elephant in the room.

Thanks for listening,

Sienna

[jill s]

Sounds kinda familiar. I don't think my wife has searched much for info on the subject. I have printed out stuff and tried getting her to read on the subject but I don't think she has any interest in learning about it. She is waiting for me to go back to a therapist so I can be cured. I have even thought about going and than telling her I'm all cured but I know that would be a lie and I'm done lying. I feel for you and your wife, it can be hard being a tranny and I'm sure being married to one can be just as hard. There seems to be many who make their marriages work out after the big drama of coming out so don't lose hope.

[Stargirl]

Sounds kinda familiar. I don't think my wife has searched much for info on the subject. I have printed out stuff and tried getting her to read on the subject but I don't think she has any interest in learning about it. She is waiting for me to go back to a therapist so I can be cured. I have even thought about going and than telling her I'm all cured but I know that would be a lie and I'm done lying. I feel for you and your wife, it can be hard being a tranny and I'm sure being married to one can be just as hard. There seems to be many who make their marriages work out after the big drama of coming out so don't lose hope.

I think for most of you, "the cure" would be unbearable. The "cure" might please Auntie Gump, but at what cost ? Inner peace is more important than a silent castration of the soul by an unloving society.

[jill s]

Way too deep for me. My wife would understand what you said I think. I would show this to her but she has told me the pictures(avatars?) bother her.

[Eugenie]

Yes, this is all too familiar...

I've been there for the past 37 years... Same story; I thought my urges to X-dress would stop after my wedding... Guess what? They didn't... So I told my wife...

To make a long story short, we lived with a compromise all these years, almost never spoke about it... I could dress when she couldn't see me.

But at a certain point, we faced a situation that forced us to finally speak...
Conclusion:
1/ She knew a lot more about me than I thought she did.
2/ It made her feel bad, again, far more than I thought...
3/ X-dressing had taken far too much space in my life and as a result in our life...
4/ I had always thought that she didn't understand me, I know now that I didn't understand her better than she understood me...

Since we finally had very long and in depth discussions, things have become a lot better for both of us...

I could tell you that it is essential that you and your wife really talk about of your x-dressing. But I don't know if it would work:

The need to talk together has to come from both partners; one cannot impose such an important discussion to the other. There has to be a very deep common desire to go through the difficult moments that such discussion entails. This is necessary in order to overcome the wall of mutual incomprehension...

In our case that moment of truth was triggered by a severe crisis...

I hope that you will find your way as a couple to overcome your own difficulties...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[il.dso]

I, unfortunately, have very similiar marital issues.
I wish I had words of wisdom and/or advice.
It's incredibly stressful and painful to talk about.
Please accept my best wishes and support.

[deja true]

Sienna, Is it possible to find a therapist for you, or even better for couples, that might be a bit more T-friendly than those in your past efforts? If your wife will listen to a therapist's advice rather than your explanations, maybe she'll listen to a message like Stargirl's from a professional. It's not likely you'll get a referral like that from your local pastor, but maybe you could enquire from a local GLBT group for advice or a referral. South Florida is definitely not a GLBT-free area. Many here may not agree, but we have a lot of issues in common with those folks and they've stood up for us many times.

Good luck with your scary adventure, we all wish you the best.

respect & love,

deja

(Hey, Stargirl!, it's not that your not a professional, but you know what I mean...)

[Ericka2]

Sorry to tell you that in my case i got divorced and found a nice girl that accepts me and Ericka, sorry about the marriage because we had kids but things are getting better, i still keep my secret none knows other than my girlfriend and don't know if i would ever come out, (just some weekends and very far away) take care.


Love Ericka

[O2B Barbara]

I wish all the best for you and your SO. It is a good thing that you are not ignoring that elephant in the living room. Just remember to be patient and keep in mind that whatever happens you have friends here.

[sandra-leigh]

I would show this to her but she has told me the pictures(avatars?) bother her.

Jill, go into the User Control Panel, request to Edit Options, scroll down about 2/3 of the way to Thread Display Options, and unclick Show Avatars and Show Images. Then scroll to almost the bottom and Save Changes. Once done, the avatars do not come up and inline images do not come up either.

[Angie G]

It's must be hard when you wife can't accept your dressing Ihope every thing works out for you hun :hugs:
Angie

[siennacd]

for all the replies, I'll keep you posted.

Sienna