Anyone ever get derogatory comments hurled at them in public?

[Mistress Frillee]

I was out jogging sat afternoon. I was in ( what I thought was ) guy mode. THis is what I looked like:

I shaved my legs,
had on my jogging shoes (mens)
ankle socks
short light blue guys swim trunks
a nylon womens solid color dark top
1 diamond stud in each ear
sunglasses
hair pulled back into a very small ponytail


as i was jogging, this truck passes me coming towards me & the dude yells at me: " you look like a girl you faggot!"


This sort of un nerved me. I thought he might turn around & come back & attack me. I am a bigger guy, 6'1, 210.....wtf?...i did not think I look like a girl......it must have been the shaved legs & ankle socks.............

should I be more careful when going out?

I live in a western Canadian city.

I have been told by others that I am really out there.......I never thought I was.......

[Mistress Frillee]

I felt like I was doing something wrong. I have never had that happen to me before. All I wanted to do was get home nice & safe.

What the hell kind of democracy is this if people can go around threatening others in the streets?

[Julie York]

Were you mincing while you were jogging?

[Mistress Frillee]

Were you mincing while you were jogging?


mincing?

[Laura Kane]

One day I was commjing out ot the subway when a group of twenty somethings started poking fun at me. They made comments about being gay and used the word fagot. The interesting things was that I was in complete guy mode. I was actually working at the time. I was wearing jeans, boots and army field jacket. There was no way that I looked like anything but a straight guy. However, I was coming out of the subway station on Christopher Street (gay street here in NYC). I can only assume that the only connection they made was that if I was even in the neighborhood I had to be gay. Go figure.

[Wendy me]

lonh hair in a poney tail fem rings and a few outher stick out things (a size boobs) i get looks and sometimes commenets...geusse thats a good thing abought "him" going a long with us ....."he says fuc_ off and thay do......

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

when i was in school i was called fag and wimp and such and none of them EVER knew i wore pantyhose,,,, now i am always in pantyhose with shorts and painted toenails in public and no one has said a word to me but its those scars from our childhood that follow us for the rest of our lives and keeps me from goin out dressed in the daytime... im married and dont have any desires towards bein gay...... its those few small minds that make it hard for us to be ourselves...

im 6 ft 200 pounds but i dont look it :D

[Priscilla1018]

So far no one has dared make a comment.I am not very tall,5'7" but I have packed a lot of muscle on my body.I tend to look rather intimidating to most people probabley because my arms are so big.One punch and I would be in prison.So I really need to control myself.I have trained in three marshal arts and carry a .45 auto every day,which makews control very important.It's very nice to get home and take my gun off and have some Irish whiskey to unwind.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

[DanaJ]

Priscilla, besides your imposing physique and hidden weaponry, why would someone make a comment to you? I mean, what I am saying is, do you go out in public dressed? I am just curious because I thought I had read in past threads that you don't really dress in public. Just curious, and correct me if I am wrong :)

Seems like an awful lot of testosterone in your post....

DanaJ

[CindyT]

Might have been the pony tail, but some guys just like to look for trouble! Be carefull out there it's a wicked world and we don't want to see anyone get hurt! :)

[Sigrid]

When I was in my teens, I had hair to the middle of my back. One guy at work often told me to "grow tits or get a haircut" .......if only.

~Sigrid

[Sharon]

I don't get negative comments (well, except one a couple months ago made over the telephone), but I do get the silent treatment from some. I'm not sure which should be considered worse.

[Lucy Jayne GG]

As a Woman I have received such sexist and derogatory comments since I was about 13 and developed earlier then most girls.Now most comments are directed at me by men who wanted to get my attention to say something vulgar or distastefull about my appearance and in some cases the sexual acts in which they wanted to perform on me(I hate when guys do that!),And some times I get the 15 year old high school boy who yells something random like,Your hot!or Nice ass!Or something in that vein(You have big boobs is my personal favorite,lol).
I can definately understand the hurt of it,And the embarassment when you think your looking really good and then one bad comment and your entire night/day is ruined.
It sucks feeling like everyone is staring at you,and not in the way you wanted them to.

Lucy J

Priscilla,You remind me of my friend Benny,He's 6'6 and 300 lbs of Pure muscle,He's a steel worker at the local Naval shipyard,he is really intimidating,and whenever I go out with him it seems like people(mainly men)Are afraid to look at me.
The great thing is,He is gay and Incredibly effeminant,And could really never hurt anyone unless he thought he had to.
He also has loads of tattoos,my favorite being two,very bright,very large,pink,poodle sillouhettes on his biceps,Which,when he takes his jacket off,everyone notices,But no one will dare say anything,hehe.

[Deelite]

My theory is most "idiot" hecklers are just jealous, and probably if they had "the balls" dressup themselves!

I bet 99% of men have been curious about what a pair of stockings etc would feel like on, although they would not admit it!

Dee.

[Mistress Frillee]

well I am going to go jogging today. Just to spite that insecure guy that yelled at me, I am going to wear my white short womens shorts! (only 3.5 inch inseam) And a pink top.....along with my diamond studs, ponytail & shaved tanned legs.......screw him!

[StephanieCD]

well I am going to go jogging today. Just to spite that insecure guy that yelled at me, I am going to wear my white short womens shorts! (only 3.5 inch inseam) And a pink top.....along with my diamond studs, ponytail & shaved tanned legs.......screw him!


Good for you!!

I'm goig to be very honest though - please understand I'm just trying to help... based on what you said you were wearing in your first post I can see why he said you "looked like a girl"...


I shaved my legs,
had on my jogging shoes (mens)
ankle socks
short light blue guys swim trunks
a nylon womens solid color dark top
1 diamond stud in each ear
sunglasses
hair pulled back into a very small ponytail

I know Canada's not that far from me (Mass. USA) but at least around here - shaved legs on a guy only work if you're on a bike or stacked and in a gym. Ankle socks are for "fags". Short swim trunks work for athletes but powder blue - nope. The diamond stud in each ear - pretty feminine. The short pony tail - I've been beat up just for having one in the past.

That's not to say I don't think you should wear whatever you want - go for it! I, personally, however have had the crap kicked out of me for being a "fag" (I'm not) just because I had a ponytail and an earring. Or I wore something light blue with sporty stripes. Or had on ankle socks and shorts. All of this was in high school but men don't grow up very quickly...

[Mistress Frillee]

I understand what you are saying..... funny thing is the powder blue swim trunks are mens, so are the ankle socks!.....lol

[Wendy me]

stephanie i also live in mass. and know what you are talking abought...long hair in a poney tail and some fem. looks draw comments . and the best defence is to hold your own say fuc_ off and mean it most back down....i also have a lince to carry but often times don't have it with me...sometimes it's more your reaction to them fools that can change the out come.......

[Mistress Frillee]

My ponytail is really short....it looks more like the all the back hair just pulled back......

[Priscilla1018]

Priscilla, besides your imposing physique and hidden weaponry, why would someone make a comment to you? I mean, what I am saying is, do you go out in public dressed? I am just curious because I thought I had read in past threads that you don't really dress in public. Just curious, and correct me if I am wrong :)

Seems like an awful lot of testosterone in your post....

DanaJ

Hi Dana,
No I don't go out in public dressed,If I did I'd look like a fireplug in a dress.
I do, howerver, wear ankle socks,have shaved legs and arms,like very short shorts and wear tank tops a lot.
Yeah, I know about the testosterone thing, must be in my meds or supplements I take.I do not use steriods and never would but, I do use Glutamine,Fish oil and some others.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

[Stormgirl]

Oh just the usual insults calling me a jarhead or a grunt and that Im fighting Bush's war.WTF! I dont even support whatever is going down in Iraq and Im a Republican.

Anyhow sis,dont let words get you down.Just shrug em off(I know its not the easy).Be the better woman and dont let them get to you.Obviously they are insecure about themselves. Personally,I would have punched in the face.I know 2 wrongs dont make a right but I am belligerent somtimes :)

[Selina]

Well the unfortunate fact is that there are assholes everywhere, and if they're having a bad day, or needing to make themselves feel more important, then they're going to pick on ANYBODY that doesn't conform to how they think people should be/look, just so they can feel better about themselves.

So this guy decided that you looked too much like a girl.
It it hadn't been that he could just as easily have decided that you were too tall/too short/fat/thin/wearing glasses/wrong colour/wrong logos/last years colours/etc.

Hell, maybe he's just totally unfit and seeing you jogging made him feel bad about himself, and that's what triggered it.

Sel.

[~Dee~]

The thing that actually gets at me is what was said.

quote: <yells at me: " you look like a girl you faggot!">

and thats somehow a bad thing?
Looking like a girl is a Bad thing???? Does his mother know of his thoughts on this?
heck, does his father?

The times I have been mistaken for a girl is countless, but I have never thought it a bad thing.

But I think its true what the others have said, when simple people feel the need to be superior there is a tendancy to take the easy way out and put others down. Heaven forbid they might actually go out and do something that will make them feel better - nahhh! it's just to easy to hang out of a window and yell at someone.
Thats class.
:rolleyes:

happy jogging.

Dee.

[vanessaleigh]

Seems confusing to me for the guy to say you look like a girl and then call you a fag. Seems to me that he is the one that is really confused.

I would love to receive the complimentary part. Anyone can tell me I look like a girl ANY TIME! I won't take that as an insult (I too have earings, pony tail past mid back, almost always ankle socks and shaved legs).

The fear part is the part I don't like. I recently went to a gay bar with some friends to see a drag show and one of my friends and I were standing outside to get some fresh air and three huge guys walked outside. That was the first time that I think I ever felt the kind of fear my wife has described to me as common for women when they are in a dark, deserted space they shouldn't be alone in. In guy mode I am not afraid of much, but in a skirt and heels things are a little different. BTW, the guys were huge, but nice and they were gay so they didn't bother us at all.

I need to figure out how to put a picture up for an avatar so that someone might tell me I look like a girl. It would make my day!
:D

[RainyHaze GG]

I had a terrible time growing up with being made fun of. Being fat. I haven't heard anything in a few years. But when I used to drink a bit, and go to the gay bars I was almost always called fag or drag queen by someone on the street. Since I am a gg, I guess it was that I am 6 feet tall, that made them think that. Or better is that people who make comments dont think at all.

Rainy

[Priscilla1018]

Oh just the usual insults calling me a jarhead or a grunt and that Im fighting Bush's war.WTF! I dont even support whatever is going down in Iraq and Im a Republican.

Anyhow sis,dont let words get you down.Just shrug em off(I know its not the easy).Be the better woman and dont let them get to you.Obviously they are insecure about themselves. Personally,I would have punched in the face.I know 2 wrongs dont make a right but I am belligerent somtimes :)

Welcome to the club my friend.Somtimes I get out of control beligerant.I really have to stop doing that,Unfortuneately my Priscilla side is so whimpy.that my Tom side takes over;he is the one to worry about.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

[Chrissycd]

an old high school friend of mine was home on leave from 6 months at sea. He was a sonar tech on a nuclear sub. Anyway, he had lots of pent up energy after all of that, and he was so anxious to drive his car that, when we went for a drive into town, he drove like a complete idiot. When we parked in front of the local hardware store, I guy about twice his size got out of another car that had been in front of us, and the guy glared at us angrily. Without missing a beat, my friend shouted in an aggressive voice I'd never heard before saying: "Wtf are you lookin' at?" The guy immediately turned and quickly walked into the nearest storefront. I looked at my friend, who I'd always known as a soft spoken type, but never as this type of person, and he simply said: Some things they teach you in the Navy actually work.
Long story short, sometimes the bullies are bigger pussies than even we girls hope to be. I'm not advocating that kind of behavior, but about a year ago on my way out of a local Best Buy store, a pair of young redneck types passed me going the other direction. One of them said "What are you looking at, you faggot?" I had barely even glanced at them, and walked a few more steps before I realized he was talking to me. Something snapped a little in me, and I turned and yelled at the a-hole. He stopped, turned around and looked at me for a second, and then he just turned around and went in the store.
Sometimes, you just have to stand up to them. Other times, it's best to ignore them. Either way, just remember, THEY are the ones with the pathetic lives that are so dissatisfying that they need to take it out on people they THINK are unable to defend themselves.
I can't wait to open up the newspaper some day and read a front page story about a dumb redneck who got the piss beat out of him by a cd.
I'm rarely cold hearted, as I think you girls know, but the testosterone in me boils when I hear stories about bullies and rednecks.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go fold my panties. ;)
Chrissy

[tgirlkari]

You can't let the idiots of the world stop you from living. I once had three guys in a chevy yukon yell some pretty nasty things at me and as I rolled my window up one of them spit on my window. Idiots are everywhere. Live happy!

[kathy gg]

Amanda and I have been out in Toronto and the only really negative comment we heard was on a esclator in the Eaton Centre and it was a group of young men who said very loudly "that's a guy!" but they did not point. Now the funny thing was there were groups of women in front and behind us and all the women turned and glared at the men and no one even looked twice at us. It is like everyone thought they were talking about gg's. We walked off and still no one paid us the slightest notice. But still in unnervered us both.

Several times while walking on Queen St (which is a very cool and bohemian nighborhood) we have been called dykes and queers. One funny thing happened one evening right after a fetish night and we had one of my gg friends with us and were all dressed pretty sexy. We are walking down the street and these group of Italian men says "look those are guys". Now upon hearing that me and my gg friend both said "are you sure about that?" and the guy who yelled at us totally got dogged by his little friends. Of course Amanda just did not say anything, but it sure was funny.

Several times while I have been in our gay ghetto of Church street I have been mistaken for a guy beucase I usually dress glam when we are out with false eyelashes and really stacked heels. I have had several admireres come up to me and mistake me for a crossdresser and of course when they find out they are flirting with a gg they are sadly disapointed.

Mostly though we have been lucky.

hugs
kathy in canada

[stephanie1000]

Well I would have to agree with selena, Their are to many closed minded individuals in this world and you have got to be yourself. If you go around beleaveing everything everybody tells you then your not you, the beutiful you. My advice is to continue doing the things that make you happy, But never stop being aware of your surroundings. Always know the environment your in and control is the key to keeping the anger in if any dirogatory word or terms directed at you. Love to all the girls and have fun Stephanie :)

[Miss Sherry]

As much as Sherry goes about on errands, etc. there has been very little hassle or harrasment. Only two instances in the past 3 years: After getting off the city bus (no problems there, at all) I was walking to the next stop for my transfer when a 20-something passed me. When he was even with me, he looked over and said "morning, Sir". It cracked me up!!!!

The other time I was with another CD going into a used clothing store, when some teenagers started whistling and yelling things like "Oh, baby, you do wiggle when you walk," etc. We both ignored them, and the other people in the parking lot pretty much looked at them like they were real morons ... which, of course, they were.

Sherry :)

[Sweet Jeanette]

I too, would, at 186 pounds, and 5 ft 7 in tall, stand out like a fireplug in dress! ---I do not show myself much, outside the house. It's too dangerous.---But I have been known to walk the block, when it's pitch dark, and no moon is up!---Nothing ever happens, but I DO try to tempt it! :D ---(in a safe way, I suppose.)------I am not one to "gamble", so that should tell all of you something! ;)

[Ava Mouse]

While at Esprit, we were walking back to the hotel after an event at the local Elks club lodge and some local macho men said "No matter how you shake it, you still have dangling bits."

LOL, they were right, but we just laughed and kept on going. We didn't feel threatened, and we knew that we were probably a bit more feminine than most women around that day.. They must've been dissappointed...

:cool: