deja true
02-17-2008, 09:03 PM
I live in a place that people come to for vacation. For the past 15 years, one return visitor has been an elderly Transitioned woman, who is now in her 80's, almost 35 years older than me . She never made a secret of her status, but never pushed it either. Everyone in this small community knows of her and recognizes her when she arrives. She is friendly, outgoing, extremely well educated and a great conversationalist.
In the past, I have had some brief chats with her, we share a number of common intersts that have nothing to do with gender questions. But, like everyone else who has come in contact with her, I have also sometimes been a little uncomfortable and sometimes made excuses to leave. Not because I had any issues with her TS status, but because I ( as a particularly deep-closeted dresser) did not want to be stigmatized locally as being too friendly with the "strange man/woman". Folks here are generally polite and friendly, but, as you might expect, when she was gone or not around, there was a lot of chatter and a bit of derogatory joking. I never joined in, but I didn't do anything to defend her or castigate my friends for their intolerance. I was afraid for myself!
After a two year abscence, she returned today. I greeted her warmly, so glad to see her alive and still active. We went to lunch and during the long catch-up socializing, I admitted to her my own life-long proclivity, and apologized to her for my previous subterfuge. She was surprised at my confession. (My disguise as a cynical, jokey one-of-the-guys kinda bloke is pretty good, I guess!) We talked in circles a bit in that crowded cafe and agreed to meet again later. I will spend as much time with her as I possibly can from now on. Damn the witnesses. Damn the gossips.
I've re-discovered a friend and this time will not make the mistake of thinking of myself and my own reputation before the feelings of others. We traded e-mail adresses and Ill be damned if I ever lose contact with this wonderful woman again.
This is a long post. Sorry! But it's something I need to tell you, sisters and brothers.
The #1 best day, so far? It's when I acted on my New Years Resolution to start talking to all the fine people here!
Bless us all!
(more) respect & love (than you can ever imagine!)
deja
In the past, I have had some brief chats with her, we share a number of common intersts that have nothing to do with gender questions. But, like everyone else who has come in contact with her, I have also sometimes been a little uncomfortable and sometimes made excuses to leave. Not because I had any issues with her TS status, but because I ( as a particularly deep-closeted dresser) did not want to be stigmatized locally as being too friendly with the "strange man/woman". Folks here are generally polite and friendly, but, as you might expect, when she was gone or not around, there was a lot of chatter and a bit of derogatory joking. I never joined in, but I didn't do anything to defend her or castigate my friends for their intolerance. I was afraid for myself!
After a two year abscence, she returned today. I greeted her warmly, so glad to see her alive and still active. We went to lunch and during the long catch-up socializing, I admitted to her my own life-long proclivity, and apologized to her for my previous subterfuge. She was surprised at my confession. (My disguise as a cynical, jokey one-of-the-guys kinda bloke is pretty good, I guess!) We talked in circles a bit in that crowded cafe and agreed to meet again later. I will spend as much time with her as I possibly can from now on. Damn the witnesses. Damn the gossips.
I've re-discovered a friend and this time will not make the mistake of thinking of myself and my own reputation before the feelings of others. We traded e-mail adresses and Ill be damned if I ever lose contact with this wonderful woman again.
This is a long post. Sorry! But it's something I need to tell you, sisters and brothers.
The #1 best day, so far? It's when I acted on my New Years Resolution to start talking to all the fine people here!
Bless us all!
(more) respect & love (than you can ever imagine!)
deja