sexuality question

[RobCD]

ok mostly I identify as a heterosexual male crossdresser. In other words I am attracted to women even when Im dressed.

However I seem to have a strong attraction to other transgendered MtoFs as well. I havent actually done anything with one before and I clearly have no attraction to "men as men"
but I can't deny a certain level or arousal whenever I see a transgendered person, espically if they are passable.

What does this make me other then confused?

[CaptLex]

What does this make me other then confused?

Normal :heehee:

Don't worry about which box you'll be sorted into or what label to stick on yourself - you're not alone and it's not unusual. Whatever floats your boat.

[newtothelife]

Yeah Captlex is right. I would not worry to much about which tag best fits. It seems we all have our own confort zone. I would not get hung-up on tags and terms if I where you. Just enjoy yourself.

[Christina Louise]

What does this make me other then confused?

When you find out please let me know because I'm totally confused about myself these days.

[RobCD]

thanks for the advice :)

I know that I would date a woman and I would date a transgendered. I guess thats good enough :)

[Kate Simmons]

It makes you a person with feelings Hon.:happy:

[Wendy me]

you might be ..... and you might not be...........

[Emily Ann Brown]

Means you REALLY love women and sometimes a sister is good enough to trigger those feelings. Relax, I would hate to see an honest poll here on who has um and who doesn't.

Emily Ann

[Shadeauxmarie]

Ah life! Love and lust know no barriers.

[Raquel June]

ok mostly I identify as a heterosexual male crossdresser. In other words I am attracted to women even when Im dressed.

However I seem to have a strong attraction to other transgendered MtoFs as well. I havent actually done anything with one before and I clearly have no attraction to "men as men"
but I can't deny a certain level or arousal whenever I see a transgendered person, espically if they are passable.

What does this make me other then confused?

The only thing that makes it confusing is the way society attaches a totally black and white "gay" label to even the slightest admission of variety in your sexual feelings.

If we all lived in ancient Greece you'd probably have your masculinity challenged if you didn't want to fool around. "Look at the girly-man! He probably has only ever kissed his wife!"

There are a ton of guys who are really into ******* porn who would never CD. There are also a ton of guys who are into CDs that you run into at clubs who aren't the slightest bit gay acting (other than that they blatantly hit on you when they know you're not a GG). They often play it off as fooling around and playing the "wink wink, we're all acting like you're a girl" game, but get a few drinks into them and sometimes they really let it out of the bag :)

Seriously, though, I think most of us are somewhere on the same scale. Love GGs ... love to dress up as a GG ... maybe love to go out ... if you love to go out you probably like guys being attracted to you ... and we can all appreciate a hot TG.

On one hand, I think the term "bisexual" is pretty nasty, because it brings to mind "I'll have sex with anything or anyone" ideas for most people. On the other hand, I also kinda think anyone who won't admit a twinge of bisexual feelings is extremely repressed. You know, the kinda guy who can't admit that Antonio Banderas was pretty hot in Desperado.

It would be nice if the word "gay" would be reserved for people who like showtunes and interior decorating, but as it is you're going to have to live with it being applied to the majority of us girls with a somewhat colorful sexual persuasion.

I suppose I would classify myself as a quasi-celebate bisexual :)

...but I'd certainly like to be in a good relationship with a woman. I doubt my therapist would lay good odds on that happening, though.

[Rachaelsweetgirl]

I think Raquel has it spot on. The world isn't black and white and the question is too complicated for such simple answers. For myself I answered GG only as that is more or less all I have experience of (with an exception when I was young which I didn't enjoy at all) but I'm a sucker for a sexy pair of legs and feminine feet so who knows, a pretty CD might be tempting!

[TriciaO]

It seems to me that the question is this: are you attracted to femininity, masculinity, or both? It doesn't matter what parts are attached, but instead how the person presents themself.

Personally, the male me is attracted to femininity, and the female prefers masculinity.

[shirley1]

when dressed i have some feelings of attraction towards men - i hate it really caus i have never been physically attracted to a guy in my life - in fact i would most likely be a lesbian if i went the whole way - but i believe sexuality can shift depending on the way you see yourself - i think there is a very fine line between who and what gender we are all attracted to - and it wouldnt take much to tilt the balance - and if your a cder you must be even closer to that line !

[Sally24]

Many groups now embrace this expression. Don't know who came up with it first.

It's not about the plumbing, it's about the electricity!

[Nicole Erin]

People are initially attracted to a look before they know anything else about a person. For this post I will stick with the context of being attracted to female.
Those who like women find femininity attractive.

What do we like about women? Smoothe skin, pretty face/hair, maybe the way she moves and acts...
So even if it is a GM doing these things, it is still quite attractive if one finds the MTF pretty. After all, a CD goes thru a lot of work to look pretty. Even if a person doesn't want to be attracted, one doesn't really have control of it. Example -

When I was like 18, I found a photo of a CD in a leotard and fishnets. Nothing dirty. Even tho I kept telling myself "It is a guy in drag, it is not sexy" well, ummm, let us just say I could not help enjoying the photo when no one was home. :o

ANYways, there is no shame in finding people attractive. I will be the first to admit that some of the ladies here are quite sexy.

The best thing you can do for a CD/TS is tell her you find her beautiful. She will love it! She went thru a lot to look good, let her know she is appreciated. ;)

[Jennaie]

There may well be a bit more to this than meets the eye, so to speak.

For example: You meet a woman who you think is very attractive but are told later that she was really a man dressed as a woman. Are you still attracted now that you know she has a penis in her panties?

When you're looking at cd's or pre-op ts's dressed you already know what's in there panties and yet you're saying that you are feeling an attraction towards them.

There's really no such thing as a beautiful GG with a penis but it seems to me that it would be something that you would desire if it did exist and an attractive cd or ts is as close to it as you will ever get.

You can't label it, just live with the fact that it is what it is and don't feel guilty about whatever your sexual attraction is.

[Rachaelsweetgirl]

Would you rather pick up an overweight woman with a beard and hairy legs or a CD'r with stunning complexion and a slim sexy figure/ I know that's probably not PC but I'm just illustrating that it's not black and white.

[Stephanie Anne]

That would be because most MTF look damn sexy in a dress!

It really is not a bad thing that you are attractive to a gorgeous bloke in a dres as they say.

I am attracted to models and movie stars but that does not mean I would ever wnat a relationship or sex wit hthem. I am attracted to the image (and yes even get caught up in the "oh I would love to be that skinny and have skin that flawless" BS).

The problem is whne attraction becomes obsession and you go beyond the window dressing into addiction.

Sexuality is a powerful thing and when people are showing their's off it is never something to be asahmed of to be caught up in it... to a point

[simplyme]

I wouldn't worry about it..I'm guessing a trangender would be flattered.

[Fab Karen]

On one hand, I think the term "bisexual" is pretty nasty, because it brings to mind "I'll have sex with anything or anyone" ideas for most people.
Only ignorant people. There are heterosexual people for example who are "I'll have sex with anyone/anything" types. Individuals don't necessarily represent everyone in a particular group.

It would be nice if the word "gay" would be reserved for people who like showtunes and interior decorating, but as it is you're going to have to live with it being applied to the majority of us girls with a somewhat colorful sexual persuasion.
That would leave out tons of gay people who aren't in that category. Some gay men for example are "more butch" than some heterosexual men.


Labels are for convenience- i.e. crossdresser is convenient, though it doesn't explain the complexities.

[Eugenie]

What does this make me other then confused?
I think that being attracted by another woman is rather frequent for a male, which most of us remain even when "en femme"... And some of our sisters really are definintely looking like gorgeous women... So your reactions is to be expected since you like women.

It is most likely the image of the woman that you are attracted to, not a transgender person... However, as a fantazy, knowing that the other person is also a x-dresser may play some role in the fact that you are turned on... But it remains a pretty much an ordinary attraction towards a female body.

It would be a different story all together if you were faced with the real situation of a sexual relationship... If your relation becomes more intimate, at a certain moment you would be confronted to a male anatomy... Then what would you do? Continue through with the relation? Be turned off and retract?

Not that there is anything wrong in any of these attitudes but it would make you at least bisexual in the first case and live you as an hetero sexual in the second case...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[charlie]

As the last four posts indicated, I get turned on by the look of pretty legs with heels and short skirts. That attire is exactly what most of the CD's, TG ladies all wear; especially in clubs. Many are much prettier then lots of GG's that I see everyday (the fact that most GG's don't wear heels, nylons or short skirts any more may have something to do with this too). Of course our antennae will get aroused from these pretty sights! I'll stare. It is a beautiful feminine creature that my eyes are feasting on. They look terrific! They are very sexually attractive. I could not have sex with them though.

[RachelRabbit]

hahaha well sweetheart, i wish i had a nickel for everytime i thought that myself. i'm happily married and my wife knows that i dress, but she doesn't know that i get the same arousals as you do in regards to other m2f's. but maybe it will offer you a little comfort in knowing that you are not alone in that department.

[O2B Barbara]

Could it be that a part of us male to female CD's just might be attracted to the idea of having sex with someone that has a penis? Would this be the ultimate feminine experience? Granted without surgery it would not be the real thing, but how would we get any closer? Does it make us gay to have these thoughts? I will admit the thought of an encounter while dressed does have a certain amount of appeal. I do not have any desire to act on this thought though.

Do FtM have similar thoughts and are attracted to GG's? Is their situation any different than MtF?

At the risk of being crass and whatever, the phrase "bend over and take it like a man" comes to mind.

Sorry, just couldn't resist.

[annekathleen]

If you were dressed and out in public and you were "hit-on"
either by a man or a woman, what would you do??

How far would you go?

[Kieroney]

No need to label that, you like what you see. So what. Nothing wrong with having more options.

[docrobbysherry]

I am completely straight. No fantasies with men when I'm en fem.
is such a turnoff for me, I had to figure out a way for Sherry to get off without mine showing!

But that being said, let me tell u about those Thai T-girls I met. Some were SO perfect, I thot about making out with one, I wasn't drinking, she was just that fem and that hot!


RS

[RobCD]

If you were dressed and out in public and you were "hit-on"
either by a man or a woman, what would you do??

How far would you go?

I have been hit on by men who werent CD or anything like that before. It was a turn off.

I think its an attraction to femininity

[TriciaO]

If you were dressed and out in public and you were "hit-on"
either by a man or a woman, what would you do??

How far would you go?

If a woman hit on me, I'd thank her and compliment her outfit or her smile.

If a man hit on me, I'd move a little closer, speak softly so he would have to lean in toward me, and allow him to seduce me.:blushing:

How far would it go? As far as we could, depending on the privacy of our location or availability of a more secluded place.

[Raquel June]

If you were dressed and out in public and you were "hit-on"
either by a man or a woman, what would you do??

How far would you go?

What about if you're dressed and get hit on by another CD? Oh, I guess that's not gonna happen much in the mall, but it's actually pretty standard in the ladies room a few places I've been...

And their looks are pretty important, too, aren't they? Let's think about this another way...

Let's say you're out in public and you get hit on by:

Ernest Borgnine
Johnny Depp
Kathy Bates
Scarlett Johansson
Dame Edna
RuPaul (the wig stays on)

Personally, I'm going Scarlett and RuPaul, but I'm not gonna fault anyone with a penis who choses Johnny Depp over Kathy Bates. And honestly, I might throw Ernest a little sumthin-sumthin out of respect for his work on Airwolf.

(that's actually not fair ... Kathy Bates is pretty cool, and I was totally impressed that I wasn't vomiting at her nude scene in About Schmidt)

[Stargirl]

I get tired of defining myself, and what I am, or want, only to see that I really don't HAVE to define, and measure what I need or want. I would like to do more experimenting but the willing potential "bouncing buddies" pose no challenge, or excitement. Getting older does odd things to the brain, and hormones. But, I will take "odd" any day over "same old thing". I have an inner male persona who is far more daring than my female side. The female side needs emotional connections. Many men run like hell when women mention the fact that we require more than a "bounce a thon". My male side can distance, emotionally, to get past an unpleasant encounter with a man. My female body is present, but the male side spaces out more effectively. I can almost hear my female side laughing (in a playful way) at my male side having a go at a male. Why bother defining too much ? Observe, engage, and enjoy. Emotions still make the big difference for me. Flesh is a servant.

[MarinaTwelve200]

ok mostly I identify as a heterosexual male crossdresser. In other words I am attracted to women even when Im dressed.

However I seem to have a strong attraction to other transgendered MtoFs as well. I havent actually done anything with one before and I clearly have no attraction to "men as men"
but I can't deny a certain level or arousal whenever I see a transgendered person, espically if they are passable.

What does this make me other then confused?

As hetrosexual males, we ARE attracted to "things" that look like women. This would be true if the object in question was reallty a woman or not. This would include PHOTOGRAPHS or statues of women, as well as another man who is dressed to look like a woman.---Being attracted to that shape in the form of a male does not suggest homosexuality any more than being attracted to a picture of a woman might suggest we have a sexual thing for PAPER. We hetro guys are programmed to respond to the image of a female---real or not.

[deja true]

You were right the first time, Robbie. You're confused! No need for other labels, unless you're into pigeonholes. Pigeonholing or categorizing everything in your life is a particularly male trait. Useful in the male world, but here? ...not so much!

The only answer for confusion is to look for answers,but too much navel-gazing is not the way. Get out and experience life, not just think about it. There be answers out there!

respect & love (for the curious)

deja

[Suzy Harrison]

ok mostly I identify as a heterosexual male crossdresser. In other words I am attracted to women even when Im dressed.

However I seem to have a strong attraction to other transgendered MtoFs as well. I havent actually done anything with one before and I clearly have no attraction to "men as men"
but I can't deny a certain level or arousal whenever I see a transgendered person, espically if they are passable.

What does this make me other then confused?


I think this is why "straight" guys can become a little angry with us sometimes. They may feel attracted to us and that leaves them somewhat confused.. and annoyed.

The reality is if you're 'wired up' to like women then that's what's going to attract you..... one way or another..!

[Raquel June]

I think this is why "straight" guys can become a little angry with us sometimes. They may feel attracted to us and that leaves them somewhat confused.. and annoyed.

That seems obvious at first but kinda fascinating the more I think about it.

I mean, let's say a totally straight guy -- maybe a manly man type, but a nice guy -- is totally attracted to a CD...

Then he's going to be irritated or angry when he figures it out. Whose fault is that? Seems pretty bogus to just blame "society," but he's basically angry about what it says about him as a man in light of social norms. It's unfair to say he's a totally bad guy, and it's unfair to say the CD is trying to do anything subversive other than just express some femininity.

I'm just sayin, a perfectly nice guy could have a total brain meltdown and feel he had to punch you in the face to avoid being transformed into prancing gay man for the rest of his life. I guess that's why I only go out to gay bars en femme, even though I wouldn't identify as gay per se.

[Mitzi]

What about the James Garner character in "Victor/Victoria". A macho guy falling for a t-girl (or so he thought). He was so smitten, he no longer cared that "she" was a he.

I'm like Rob, attracted to sexy t-girls, but absolutely not to guy guys. Had a few gurls hit on femme me in my day. My experience is that a lot of t-girls are also "admirers".

Mitzi

[amy canada]

I'm a heterosexual guy as well and I'm only turned on by beautiful looking women. Not every woman turns me on. I'm guessing this is the same to you. We're attracted to beautiful women, whether they're real women or MtF. I don't know if I'd date an MtF, but I guess it would be fun to look at her just as it would be to look at a GG.

[T_gurl_tia]

labels labels labels.....if i tries to label myself i guess i would be a happily married bisexual male to female crossdresser attracted to male to female crossdressers, male to female transgender, males, and females...thats just to much to say or think about.....so i just say im a sexual person!:heehee:

[Eugenie]

I think this is why "straight" guys can become a little angry with us sometimes. They may feel attracted to us and that leaves them somewhat confused.. and annoyed.

Indeed such experiences can be quite confusing... I had a similar feeling of confusion when I was working in the USA.

There was a young person with a beautiful face and a slim well proportionned body. I felt enormously attracted to that person. It was extremely confusing as I was convinced that person was a male with, some feminine features, but no doubt a man... I couldn't control my feelings for that person. I didn't have any inclination towards homosexuality so these feelings were making me feel very strange...

I finally got the courrage to talk to "him", on a quite mundane subject... It turned out that "he" was a "she"...

That ended my confusion but not my being attracted to her... Which I never expressed to her by the way...

So with regard to gender and sexual attraction it is quite unpredictable how one might react.

After all isn't love counting more than labels?

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Fab Karen]

That seems obvious at first but kinda fascinating the more I think about it.



I'm just sayin, a perfectly nice guy could have a total brain meltdown and feel he had to punch you in the face to avoid being transformed into prancing gay man for the rest of his life. I guess that's why I only go out to gay bars en femme, even though I wouldn't identify as gay per se.

The only reason he'd feel he "had to" punch you would be because he's repressing his desire after he knows the person isn't a gg. A secure guy would just think,"oh. Not what I want." & carry on about his day.
BTW, gay guys aren't interested in us.

[angelfire]

I guess I'd have to consider myself bi-curious. Never been with a guy or a mtf, but I am not necissarily opposed to either if the right person came along.

[Vaerise]

Maybe u r attracted to physical feminine beauty.
MtF TS are trying to be female, maybe in your case you just aren't as homophobic like some are.

[RobCD]

Maybe u r attracted to physical feminine beauty.
MtF TS are trying to be female, maybe in your case you just aren't as homophobic like some are.

I think that pretty much hits it because I have a lot of images of femininity in my room as well. Im not talking like lingerie calendars or swimsuit posters. I have like faerie statues and a lot of anime girl figures (mostly fully dressed in like princess type outfits)

I also admit to haveing a few barbie dolls hidden away (hides)

[tonna reydhar]

I too am hetro, I love GGs, men turn me off, and while I see a lot of y'alls pics next to your posts and think y'all do very well, I couldn't go there either. However TG men 2 women, who have been taking horemons, have the shape, have breasts, but are pre op totally turn me on. Like I read somewhere above, not every woman turns me on, likewise not every TV/G turns me on. Like crossdressing, it took me a LOOOOOOONNNG time for me to admit to myself that I am a crossdresser. Now I realise that it's just part of me. Can you imagine me sitting in the day room at the station with the other FFs and Jerry Springer comming on, these really hot girls come out, knowing that they are TV/Gs all the guys are going "gross, nasty, yuck etc" I'm sitting there thinking d@mn she's hot, whoa where'd she get that (insert article of clothing here) lol. I have accepted that I am attracted to TV/Gs, just like crossdressing, it's a part of me.

[RobertaFermina]

Scientists have never found any trace of a box, neither masonite, steel, nor cardboard...not to mention platinum, gold cigarette case, or gilded cage in any region of the brain or soul.

Why we should imagine an construct boxes for ourselves elsewhere defies our natural spirits......yet somehow we imagine that it is the thing to do.

I have a real problem with it. I do move in my own circles, though I cherish the freedom to jump the track, or crash the wall should I have an earnest fancy to do so.

Feel the freedom of defying your own conventions....when it is in your heart to do so. :hugs:

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[sybercom11]

ok mostly I identify as a heterosexual male crossdresser. In other words I am attracted to women even when Im dressed.

However I seem to have a strong attraction to other transgendered MtoFs as well. I havent actually done anything with one before and I clearly have no attraction to "men as men"
but I can't deny a certain level or arousal whenever I see a transgendered person, espically if they are passable.

What does this make me other then confused?


Funny thing! I have never been attracted to TG MtoFs because that is my role. I have however, since I can remember, been attracted to girls and guys pretty much equally. I evolved away from relationships with guys, but they still turn me on.

[Christa]

Now I'm sure you didn't mean any of this in a way to demean or offend the gay members of this group. But it would probably be helpful in this conversation to NOT make the assumptions that most of us are straight male crossdressers, find other CDs sexually exciting, dislike being called "gay", or think only gay people like showtunes and interior decorating... especially since most of us seem to be making the point here that LABELS AREN'T HELPFUL.

I should add that neither are stereotypes or homophobic comments.

This group is for all of us... in all our glorious variations.

Christa




The only thing that makes it confusing is the way society attaches a totally black and white "gay" label to even the slightest admission of variety in your sexual feelings.

If we all lived in ancient Greece you'd probably have your masculinity challenged if you didn't want to fool around. "Look at the girly-man! He probably has only ever kissed his wife!"

There are a ton of guys who are really into ******* porn who would never CD. There are also a ton of guys who are into CDs that you run into at clubs who aren't the slightest bit gay acting (other than that they blatantly hit on you when they know you're not a GG). They often play it off as fooling around and playing the "wink wink, we're all acting like you're a girl" game, but get a few drinks into them and sometimes they really let it out of the bag :)

Seriously, though, I think most of us are somewhere on the same scale. Love GGs ... love to dress up as a GG ... maybe love to go out ... if you love to go out you probably like guys being attracted to you ... and we can all appreciate a hot TG.

On one hand, I think the term "bisexual" is pretty nasty, because it brings to mind "I'll have sex with anything or anyone" ideas for most people. On the other hand, I also kinda think anyone who won't admit a twinge of bisexual feelings is extremely repressed. You know, the kinda guy who can't admit that Antonio Banderas was pretty hot in Desperado.

It would be nice if the word "gay" would be reserved for people who like showtunes and interior decorating, but as it is you're going to have to live with it being applied to the majority of us girls with a somewhat colorful sexual persuasion.

I suppose I would classify myself as a quasi-celebate bisexual :)

...but I'd certainly like to be in a good relationship with a woman. I doubt my therapist would lay good odds on that happening, though.

[Raquel June]

But it would probably be helpful in this conversation to NOT make the assumptions that most of us are straight male crossdressers, find other CDs sexually exciting, dislike being called "gay", or think only gay people like showtunes and interior decorating...

I didn't make much of an assumption. I said that most CDs like GGs, most CDs like guys being attracted to them at least when dressed, and most CDs can appreciate a hot CD. Is that not the case?

I also didn't say that most of us are "straight male crossdressers," but a huge number do identify as such (even if I think they aren't being totally honest with themselves).

Sure, there are CDs who have no desire to ever be with a GG. I love meeting gay CDs who aren't just drag queens (I have a lot of queen friends, but I think I do come off as a bit of a weirdo to them). Still, you must admit that non-queen CDs who fully identify as gay are the minority of the already small minority that is CDs.

And yes, there are non-gay men who like showtunes and there are tons of gay men who hate showtunes. But it would be totally absurd to pretend that stereotype wasn't based in reality.

Hmm... number of gay bars I've been to that play showtunes: at least 10 within 50 miles of me. It's pretty much a defining feature of what people call a gay bar. Number of straight bars I've been to that play showtunes... zero, except for one time when I was in a college bar and a gay man was playing around on karaoke night and sang a couple showtunes. And I've been to about 20X as many straight bars as gay bars.

[angelfire]

Scientists have never found any trace of a box, neither masonite, steel, nor cardboard...not to mention platinum, gold cigarette case, or gilded cage in any region of the brain or soul.

Actually, I think it is made of bone, and called a skull :tongueout

[Fab Karen]

I didn't make much of an assumption. I said that most CDs like GGs, most CDs like guys being attracted to them at least when dressed, and most CDs can appreciate a hot CD. Is that not the case?

I also didn't say that most of us are "straight male crossdressers," but a huge number do identify as such (even if I think they aren't being totally honest with themselves).

Sure, there are CDs who have no desire to ever be with a GG. I love meeting gay CDs who aren't just drag queens (I have a lot of queen friends, but I think I do come off as But it would be totally absurd to pretend that stereotype wasn't based in reality.

Hmm... number of gay bars I've been to that play showtunes: at least 10 within 50 miles of me. It's pretty much a defining feature of what people call a gay bar. .

I have been to many gay bars/clubs and the music being played is pop or dance music. Never heard showtunes.

Tell us what stereotype doesn't apply to you as a CD, and we will then use it to define you. And then you shouldn't complain, because "it's based in reality." Maybe then a lightbulb will go on.

[jayme357]

I am so glad that I found this thread. Although I haven't necessarily struggled with the question of my sexuality, I haven't really come to terms with it either.

When in my male persona, I adore women. (Surprise!). I guess that would include a lovely transgendered person. On the other hand, when in my happy female world, I am attracted only to men but not CD's. I have been fortunate enough to experience each of these relationships and so have had these feelings confirmed.

I have tried to "label" myself to no avail. You ladies have shown me that no label in necessary, and for that I thank you. I consider myself very fortunate.

[Amy Hepker]

As Capt said Normal, most CDer are heterosexual

[JAYNETHOMPSON]

I'm just the same Jayme, endrab I adore women, yet enfem I am attracted to men.
No labels just the way it is.

x

Jayne


I am so glad that I found this thread. Although I haven't necessarily struggled with the question of my sexuality, I haven't really come to terms with it either.

When in my male persona, I adore women. (Surprise!). I guess that would include a lovely transgendered person. On the other hand, when in my happy female world, I am attracted only to men but not CD's. I have been fortunate enough to experience each of these relationships and so have had these feelings confirmed.

I have tried to "label" myself to no avail. You ladies have shown me that no label in necessary, and for that I thank you. I consider myself very fortunate.

[jessielee]

dear sisters,
yes, unquestionably, i love all feminine. didn't say "things."
in fact, it reveals my ultimate narcisism; i admired and was drawn to girls in grade school, thought they were perfectly beautiful in a completely non-sexual way, such that since i didn't care for myself, in order to be valuable, attractive, likeable, desireable (again, non-sexually) i wished i was a girl! all because of my values of beauty! so stuck on my perspective i was!
it has persisted.
even though i am wired for arousal and sensual love only to gfemales.
i wish i were a lesbian. poof, like that.
but, since that's a long way away, if attainable at all,
i see i am aroused by the feminine, even knowing she has an x and a y.
what would i do? i honestly don't know.but i am honestly turned on by some of the very nice people here, without meaning to be.
human, i read it somewhere above.
"beautiful women!" a la the adventures of Baron Munchausen
it is fascinating to discover new fronteers with myself.
while still only desiring romance with females.
some drives are stronger than we are.
but then again, maybe that's why we are all here.
good job girls,
you've turned us all!
as the world continues to turn...
not meant pretentiously but humbly,
jessie

[jessielee]

but i've got to add to that!
don't we all see that girls can be loving with each other, by touch, eye contact, a kiss, even being intimate without it needing to be sexual?
that is so cool. to be "allowed" to love. by "them."
these are baby steps of freedom
to love you
each of you
without hopes, expectations or plans to get into your panties.
and maybe along the way
learn to love me as well.
thank you for this epiphany.
love,
jes

[Amy07]

I think what consentual, willing, thinking adults do is their own business. Dressed or not, girl or boy.

Look this up: Pansexual. Wiki has a rundown on it.

I am not into labels, but this one is okay by me.

[Danicd]

Great question and great responses.

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

Its funny that I have stumbled across this thread. I sometimes find some other T-Girls very attractive. Some of the girl on this forum are very attractive to me. I too sometimes question my sexuality when this happens. I think it diffrent for everyone. One of the first times I went out, a man at the club made a crude attempt to "go on a date later" with me. I declined. It really turned me off.
To make a long story short, I am not attracted to men while dressed. But I am attracted to certain M to F transgendered people. Up to this point in time I have not acted on it. But have fantasized about it.
I do not know what to do with these feelings. So reading the replies to the thread starter put me at ease. But I also have to add that I can appreciate what women might go through during the course of thier day.

[JoanieLynn]

When dressed up I dream about having a man having his way with me. I'm really bi-sexual.I just like to think of myself as sexual though.My wife knows
about JonieLynn & she's not too happy about it.She want's a divorce over it.
My feelings about it is;life goes on.I just want to be happy.

[Maddie22]

I am totally attracted to femininity. I love it, Men do not cut it, even when in femme attire (although flirtation while dressed would be a power trip) I am attracted to the CD's and TV/TS that really do pull off looking passable, however it may be fun to "make out with one" when it comes down to it, the only "junior" I like is my own. I could never substitue the whole girl for a CD/TV/TS...the only possiblity would be a "Post-Op" Otherwise got to be a GG.... And I do agree, not all girls turn me on either, it is difinitley the Feminne girls that do it.

[harmony]

i have always loved and admired femininity as something in itself wherever it appears.i like to express it whenever i can with creativity and artistry and glamour.
i would not know what to do with someones penis!



where has all the glamour gone?
marlene dietrich is my idol

[docrobbysherry]

R u excited by your own female image, knowing all the while u have male equipment? If so, why shouldn't we also be excited/attracted to certain CDs, even if we know they also have male plumbing?

Now imagine yourself alone WITH this attractive CD. What would u do?
I honestly don't know what I would do!

[Raquel June]

I have been to many gay bars/clubs and the music being played is pop or dance music. Never heard showtunes.

Tell us what stereotype doesn't apply to you as a CD, and we will then use it to define you. And then you shouldn't complain, because "it's based in reality." Maybe then a lightbulb will go on.

I didn't say the majority of music at gay bars was showtunes, but the fact is the gay bars are the only place I hear showtunes, even if it's only every now and then.

Regardless, how is that derogatory? Are you offended that I would make an observation that gay bars -- especially ones that have drag shows -- are more likely to play showtunes than mostly straight bars? What's wrong with that? It's absolutely true, and there's nothing offensive about it.

You're really not making sense. I was accused of making assumptions, and I was defending myself. And now you act as though a simple observation is a personal attack?

[flacindycd]

Well im pretty much attracted to all of them, having been with other cd/tgirls, men and ggs , It is whatever suits me (or you) at the moment, you have to go with your inner feelings ,donot worry about the "label" many here say they are hetero without ever trying the "other side" whether out of pure denial, guilt or whatever....its the PERSON that counts not the "equiptment"

just my honest opinion.... Bi the way I apologize if I have offended anyone,but I just had to add my 2 cents worth here

[mishelle379]

ok mostly I identify as a heterosexual male crossdresser. In other words I am attracted to women even when Im dressed.

However I seem to have a strong attraction to other transgendered MtoFs as well. I havent actually done anything with one before and I clearly have no attraction to "men as men"
but I can't deny a certain level or arousal whenever I see a transgendered person, espically if they are passable.

What does this make me other then confused?

completely normal

[MsJoann]

I consider myself to be heterosexual. However, there have been a few times where I have had terrible crushes on cute young guys. Most recently about a year ago. He was so sweet looking and you wouldn't believe what I wanted to do with him!
I have a few close CD friends with whom I go out and do things with. There has never been any sexual contact between us. Just friends. I will admit that I would love to make love to one of them as I'm attracted to her personality.
I'm always checking out women and I'm coy and flirtatious however I'm already attached and I can't handle the emotional involvement of a sideline relationship based on cheating.
I'm still attracted to pretty CD's.

[Fab Karen]

You're really not making sense. I was accused of making assumptions, and I was defending myself. And now you act as though a simple observation is a personal attack?
:rolleyes:
"a defining feature of what people call a gay bar"
stereotype, look it up.

[Raquel June]

:rolleyes:
"a defining feature of what people call a gay bar"
stereotype, look it up.

My question is: Why do you care?

Look up "stereotype" yourself and put on your thinking cap.

You could say that any observation of a situation that has been observed before is a stereotype. How is that bad? Are you now saying that I'm a bad person for even referring to an establishment as a gay bar? Are you now denying that gay bars have defining features? Are you serious?

Guess what. Black people have defining features and subsets of black culture have defining behaviors. White people have defining features and behaviors. Gay people, whether you like it or not, have defining behaviors. Do you think "gaydar" is actually a supernatural sense?

Pretending that everybody's a totally unique individual doesn't make you a better person. It makes you kinda nutty. Most people are not very individualistic. They have groups they choose to associate with. And that's fine. You can be fair to people without living in a strange detached world that doesn't acknowledge similarities between people. If a I see a guy with 53 piercings in his face and a tattoo that says "F the LAPD," I'm going to proceed more cautiously than if he were wearing a suit and carrying a copy of Forbes. That doesn't mean all people with tattoos are bad. What makes you a bigot is being inflexibly prejudiced based on a stereotype. It's demanding that the stereotype applies to everybody that makes you bad. The stereotype itself is not evil.

I'm just not sure what you're going on about. I'm not going to apologize for saying that gay bars tend to have certain traits. Is there something else I said to offend you?

[Jazzmine]

I don't see this as a great mystery. I am not attracted to men at all, quite the opposite really. But an attractive CD looks exactly like an attractive woman. And attractive women swivel my head.

Why wouldn't you be attracted to her (CD) if you love woman? It's your visual target market! No use denying our basic sensory inputs!

Also, as a CD you are not repulsed by yourself (I hope) all girlied up, so we already have our barriers down and acceptance levels up.

What you do next is a measure of how much you will allow your eyes to deceive your 'normal' sense of sexuality. Only you can decide that on the day, at the time. I've never been tested so I will shut up now before I over-rate my powers of resistance.

Hugs Jazzmine

[jessielee]

"luminous beings are we, not this crude matter"
yoda

yet drawn irresistably to what is different and compatible
vs.
what is comfortably familiar...
human.
jessie

[Danicd]

OK, The thought of being with a man is repulsive but I have often fantasized about being with a TG. I think there are a whole lot more "hetro men" out there that would love to try being with a TG CD then would ever admit it.
Of course fantasy and reality are 2 different things but whatever floats your boat comes to mind.:2c:

[deja true]

"I've never been tested so I will shut up now before I over-rate my powers of resistance"

It is a test, isn't it? A test of our manhood, a test of our 'womanhood'. A test of the cultural/gender barriers that have been put up over the centuries by our societies.

I've never been tested either, in person. But, in truth, I am awaiting this 'final exam' to help me learn more about myself.

[Sheila]

Seems to me that many use dressing as an excuse to explore sexuality desires they repress when in their genetically assigned gender mode. just my :2c:

[Shelly67]

Youre like most of us - Femophile .
No blame , no fault .........
Now go enjoy yourself ....

[Taylor Anne]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, RobCD, for asking the question!!!

I’ve had the same confusion for some time now and wasn’t sure how to ask the question. And, what encouraging responses, too!

It’s really only been in the last year or so since I’ve begun to feel more comfortable with my sexuality, whatever it is. I go through spells of being attracted exclusively to GG’s and times when I’m hotly attracted to TG’s, CD’s, and even males. On the other hand, my only experience, if one could call it that, is online. I don’t like clubs, and where I live everything is underground. It’s sad.

I’ve never been with anyone other than a GG, but I have to say that in the last few months, I’ve felt much more comfortable with the idea of experimenting with the, ahem, male package—no matter the presentation of the person.

I can remember a long time ago feeling the patriarchal fear of being called “gay,” and I remember when it was used as an insult in general. That should’ve been a clue that I was not so secure in my sexuality.

Nowadays, I agree with many of those already posting here. Sexuality is a spectrum—albeit, a spectrum that makes us Americans paranoid. You hardly hear of a person being fearful of being labeled a liberal Democrat or conservative Republican, etc. We Americans seem unhealthily addicted to naming things; I mean, look at the Old Testament creation story: Adam was naming everything.

So, for me, sexuality is a spectrum, and I’m feeling much more comfortable that I’m probably closer to the middle in my preferences. However, I’ve never experimented with the male package, so my imagination is not backed up with experience—such is fantasy. And naivety.

Ah well, just enjoy being you, and let the roses fall where they will.

[countrygirl]

Amanda Here,

I am gay wheather or not I am dressed or not. I know I am in the minority here.


Amanda

[Cheryl T]

While I am not attracted to men, the thought of being on a date (maybe someplace nice for dinner/dancing) does intrigue me. I would love to experience the situation, without the sexual aspect. You know, the chair pulled out for you, the doors opened, him leading on the dance floor and me in a beautiful dress being the center of attention....:daydreaming:

"To sleep, perchance to dream..." Shakespeare

[Christen3042]

I have dressed (in secret) since my early teens, but was only attracted to GGs. In the past few years I started dressing full-time at home (still kinda secret - I live alone) and my sexuality has swiveled (evolved?) a bit to include an attraction for good looking CDs (as if it wasn't really there all the time!) I've never been attracted to 'GUYS', but if the clothes make the man, they also seem to make the woman. Being sexually active with another CD has proven to be very exciting and a lot of fun... as long as enough clothes stay on to maintain the illusion. Am I deluding myself? Does it matter? What bothers me about it is the guilt feelings afterwards (Thanks for that Catholic upbringing, Mom!), but I'm learning to get over that crap.

Am I gay? Sometimes. Am I straight? Sometimes. Do I fit in a nice neat little box? Hell, no! None of us does, so why stress out over it.

Every statistical population of elements can be plotted out based on any number of factors, and what always results is a bell-shaped curve. If you take "people" as the element, and "sexual preference" as the factor, you get a bell curve between 100% heterosexual and 100% homosexual. What most people seem to assume is that the high point of the curve is "100% heterosexual" and the low ends are where the "homos" live (that's sarcasm, girls). That is just not the case. On the bell curve, "100% heterosexual" is at one low end, and "100% homosexual" is at the other. The high point is 50/50, or "100% bisexual". Almost everyone has some heterosexual tendencies and some homosexual tendencies in their makeup. It's just a metter of degree.

It's important to note that bell-shaped curves don't have any points named "wrong", "evil", "sick", or "twisted". There's also no "normal". "Normal" = "boring" in my book. ( I think I'll add that to my tagline!)

[Raquel June]

Being sexually active with another CD has proven to be very exciting and a lot of fun... as long as enough clothes stay on to maintain the illusion.

That's why I'm less sexual than I used to be. I'm a little upset about the idea of having sex with someone that I wouldn't be attracted to if the clothes came off. I even have plenty fantasies involving couples where I wouldn't be comfortable if just my clothes came off. So even when people are really interested, I tend to avoid situations altogether because I have a sense that things would just get too weird.

[Amy07]

And no response to PANSEXUAL!
This was a really complicated question, and no single answer will ever suffice.
And we trod on...

[Melissa-M]

maybe it is that you have something in common that you do not just fined next door all thew if you look you maybe surprised. it maybe more of an effectuation then an attraction:daydreaming:

[NicoleScott]

I don't think it's a coincidence that I am attracted to the same kind of look that I try do for myself. There's a certain look that I really like. If that look is on a CD, I'm still attracted, but have no interest in the hardware.
I would love to have some dressup fun with other CD's, especially with those who like the same kind of things as I do, and though there might be some attraction, it's for the femininity, beauty, and fashion that's the source of the attraction.
I have chatted with many men who are attracted to CD's, some of whom have had encounters with CD's. I find it interesting, though not too surprising, that most of those men still consider themselves straight.
Straight myself (so far anyway - ha ha), I find myself with somewhat of a psychological attraction to men who find me attractive. No sexual attraction whatever, though, and I tell them so, usually resulting in a some degree of masculine deflation. Some men just can't see that not all CD's want to have sex with them. They think that's why we dress.. And I suppose some do.

[Parker0429]

I would thoroughly enjoy going out on a "date" with a man who knew me and appreciated me for what I am. It excites me now just thinking about it. Maybe buy some new clothes or a new fragrance. And the preparation.....hmmmmmmmmmmm. Legs freshly shaven. Makeup near perfect. Breastforms. Wig. Nice knee length pencil skirt and silky blouse. Jewelry. Having him pick me up and open and close the car door for me. Holding his hand. Nice, quiet dinner. And, if we finish the evening getting intimate, I guess the money for the fragrance was well spent.

[CindyNSilk]

I share your statement completely.

I love women and to have "normal" sex with them, (not men), yet love to regularly dress and do get hot looking at men in dress

Cindy

[PameeSue]

Well im pretty much attracted to all of them, having been with other cd/tgirls, men and ggs , It is whatever suits me (or you) at the moment, you have to go with your inner feelings ,donot worry about the "label" many here say they are hetero without ever trying the "other side" whether out of pure denial, guilt or whatever....its the PERSON that counts not the "equiptment"

just my honest opinion.... Bi the way I apologize if I have offended anyone,but I just had to add my 2 cents worth here

You took the words right outa my mouth...........totally agree! With no appologies to anyone.

Bisexuality, for me, does not have anything to do with promiscuity either......a la conotations of 'sleeping around or sex with anyone.....there has to be an attraction to the person.
I do find it 'easier' to be attracted to females - just the look can do that.
I understand the work a cd or t has to do to look good, but a guy, in guy mode does nothing for me. However, if he has a personality that clicks, then thats a different matter, sex is another level to enjoy.
Perhaps I'm just a fussy bisexual .:eek:

Suzie P

[PameeSue]

......BTW, gay guys aren't interested in us.

too sweeping a statement for my experience....
hmmmm......I wonder what the guys were that I've been with then!!

Suzie P

[ColleenW]

Now I'm sure you didn't mean any of this in a way to demean or offend the gay members of this group. But it would probably be helpful in this conversation to NOT make the assumptions that most of us are straight male crossdressers, find other CDs sexually exciting, dislike being called "gay", or think only gay people like showtunes and interior decorating... especially since most of us seem to be making the point here that LABELS AREN'T HELPFUL.

I should add that neither are stereotypes or homophobic comments.

This group is for all of us... in all our glorious variations.

Christa


Christa -

I agree with you. Maybe it would be better still to let the term 'gay' go back to just meaning happy. It might be a step to getting rid of all of these labels.

[NicoleScott]

Cheryl T, a comment you posted has prompted me to say something I have long thought about but never done. I think it would be nice to have a local friend for going out with, sometimes both of us en femme, and sometimes on a "date" with just one of us en femme. I think it would fun in both modes, and I would feel more secure than going out alone en femme.

[ColleenW]

Cheryl T, a comment you posted has prompted me to say something I have long thought about but never done. I think it would be nice to have a local friend for going out with, sometimes both of us en femme, and sometimes on a "date" with just one of us en femme. I think it would fun in both modes, and I would feel more secure than going out alone en femme.

I agree, I think it would be very nice.

[Kristi Moore]

Its all so confusing, when not dressed I'm into woman. However when I'm Kristi which is a lot lately, I'm totally into Tgirls and lately men. To the point I have started dating men. Its tough to meet someone who is not just into sex. I just met a man who has never been with a T before and its refreshing. No sex yet , which was his suggestion, as we get to know each other. The attraction is getting stronger and I like the affection in public and private. Its confusing but I'm allowing myself to be and not put labels. There is nothing wrong with experimenting. Hugs to you all

[DemonicDaughter]

Straight people are sexually attracted to the opposite sex. As in straight men are attracted to feminine qualities (thus helping explain why straight CDs find other CDs attractive on any level, it does NOT mean you are gay, bi or what-have-you! It means you are attracted to the feminine).

Gay people are sexually attracted to the same sex. Not just parts, not just at certain times, not just under certain conditions, not just looks, not just the "taboo". The entire person as a whole.

Bisexuals are attracted to both sexes equally as a partner in life (bi-curious are those that experiment with both genders or are generally a "every now and again" bisexual).

Of course these are very general terms and do not apply in all circumstances. But the constant issue of whether or not you are gay is simply allowing society to dictate your ideas of humanity. Just because you do something feminine/masculine doesn't make you any more/less of a man/woman! Its just a part of your personality!

Most of us who are bisexual or gay actually don't question our sexuality. We know who we are attracted to. We struggle only with the level of acceptance from those we love and having to face ridicule for our preferences.

You are going to face a level of adversity no matter what you choose to do in life. There is always going to be some ignorant group of people that don't want to understand. Why make things more complicated by worrying if anyone thinks you are gay? They will think that either way until society educates themselves and/or tolerance is more than just a corporate slogan. But if you aren't interested in having actual intercourse with someone of the same sex (as in with NO clothes on) then you aren't attracted to them... just their appearance.

[epsxyblkm]

Sometimes when I am dressed I would like to know what a man thinks about me. Maybe one day I will find out, but who knows.

[Susan.]

I guess I'm in the same boat as many of you. I'm attracted to feminity. Whether I'm dressed or not I am attracted to feminine beauty. There are many of us here that I'm attracted to on that level, but they are all very passable.

[jayme357]

DD, you are a cool gal. I think you put things into wonderful perspective. When you come right down to it, we are some very lucky people. After all, who else has the opportunity to experience and enjoy so many facets of life.

Life is good. Don't fight it. Enjoy!

[LaurenEP]

About 10 years ago, I considered myself bisexual. But because I felt that should apply to someone who's equally attracted to both sexes, it seemed inaccurate to apply it to myself since I'm attracted to more females than males. After a long period of introspection, I decided:
"I like whom I like."

BUT, in reading this thread, I have come to realization that I've always been attracted to femininity. The guys to whom I've been attracted have been straight or gay, but always had some sort of physical or dispositional quality that I've associated with femininity.

[DemonicDaughter]

DD, you are a cool gal. I think you put things into wonderful perspective. When you come right down to it, we are some very lucky people. After all, who else has the opportunity to experience and enjoy so many facets of life.

Life is good. Don't fight it. Enjoy!

Thank you! I think what is such a shame is that so many spend so much time worrying whether or not they are something that they miss the point... of just being who they are and enjoying it. To add labels of sexuality is only complicating something that needs not to be.

So what if you find anyone attractive or not? Just enjoy life, stop worrying and for once, let go of the fear! What's the worst that could happen? You find out exactly how you feel? Find more of the real you? Or simply discover you weren't what you were so worried you might be?


About 10 years ago, I considered myself bisexual. But because I felt that should apply to someone who's equally attracted to both sexes, it seemed inaccurate to apply it to myself since I'm attracted to more females than males. After a long period of introspection, I decided:
"I like whom I like."

BUT, in reading this thread, I have come to realization that I've always been attracted to femininity. The guys to whom I've been attracted have been straight or gay, but always had some sort of physical or dispositional quality that I've associated with femininity.

As a bisexual, I am attracted to both male and female aspects of people. Its not a matter of if I'm attracted to women or men more. Its a matter of not seeing a gender when I am attracted to someone. Most bisexuals feel this way. Its not the gender of the people we are interested in, its the person themselves.

[satin_luva]

Perhaps it's just the clothes that they were wearing. Whenever I see a CD dressed in clothes that I dream about wearing I can't help but stare.
And if you are aroused by passers then you are aroused by people who you see as women.

[Jill Mac]

we'll i consider myself bi, i love women, but also get turned on by other cd's,
ive aslo experimented a lil with a guy, who loved the fact i was wearing panties.

Jill

[SarahHall]

I have come to accept that I am attracted to men and women and it took crossdressing to bring out the fact that I wanted to be with men also.