best and worst day ever

[laceyjessica]

Well tonight my wife told me she wants to see counseling and if it doest work is preparer to be a single parent without me. I can explain what i am feeling right now. Tonight I also made a big step and went shopping, actually tried on clothes at 3 womans stores. Came out to one SA she love it that i was a crossdresser. got 6 new gowns, a corsette and had the time of my life. All this chopped down by my wife giving me the urgency to see somone because she doesnt know what to do anymore. Do I be glad because I want my freedom to go out in public as Jessica or should i be said I mary loose my marraige. Please any advice would be appreciated

[Daintre]

Hello Jessica, Let me see if I got this right, your wife wants you to see a councilor with the idea that he/she will cure you and you will no longer dress. Personally Jessica I don't see that happening, Look at the fun you had shopping, how miserable will you be if you had to give that up. A better idea is councilling as a couple, with some give and take on both sides. I really wonder if she wishes to be a single parent, that is a hard job

All the best Jessica :hugs:

[TGMarla]

What if you tell her that YOU want to be a single parent? Who made her the chief? Does she think you have no rights as a parent? Do you think that as well? Is the only thing that you have to gain by a split the freedom to dress up? Do you want counselling? With her?

No offense intended, Jessica, but grow a backbone and stop acting all hurt all the time. Yes, breakups do hurt. I went through one myself. It hurt a lot. But it was ultimately not my fault. I just felt that way at the time. In retrospect, she was the unfaithful one. She brought it down on us. I'm not in any position to judge your situation, but it takes two to tango. It's not all on you, and you have rights. Start standing up for them.

[teresa jeen]

i hope this wasnt the first conversation yall have had on the subject!! maybe you went for it a little early. these things take time there not to be done overnight.do you love her? then go to counseling and hopefully things will work out. please keep us posted.

[StayceeCD]

Jessica, From your previous posts it seems your wife has 1. Outed you 2. Not had sex with you for 6 YEARS!! Now I'm not a therapist but if you haven't slept with your wife in 6 years it's OVER honey!! I can understand wanting to be there for your kids. I have a daughter myself and would gladly lose a limb to have a life in the same household with her. but it seems the time has come for a serious change. What that will be only you know. You seem to be getting more into the CD'ing which is a good thing cause it's who you are. And your wife has made no bones about NOT being into it. Now I realize there are two sides to everything but judging from your posts your wife doesn't even let you sleep in the same room.. That's the same as a divorce to the kid! Mom & Dad don't sleep in the same bedroom and probably don't get along too well.. I don't know what your whole situation is but it is certainly on the cusp of some major change. Do whats best for your kid(s) and yourself and good luck!! :thumbsup:

[SandyR]

She came home and said "hun....I love the feel of a mans suite, ties, ..." Put your self in her shoes....

Its about balance. I love the feel of a nice pair of hose against fresh shaved legs.....but, Im a husband, and dad first.

Big Hug!

SandyR

[laceyjessica]

thanks for the answers and advice I really am starting to love this place so many different points of view. SO many things to consider

[Emily Ann Brown]

Does anyone understand what you are feeling at this point.....oh YES, unfortunately. OH YES.

Counselling may work IF...IF....both parties are going with an open mind (this opinion is from personal experience). If counselling, in either's opinion, is a device used to lip-whip the partner into changing into the "desired" person....good luck, might as well save the money. For the two of you to survive this , BOTH are gonna have to give up something (and I don't mean you give up CDing or her give up her opinion of it). I had a wise old gentleman who was a professional negotiator once tell me that you know a deal is fair to all because both parties think the other got the better end of it.

As far as the need from your perspective....is it more important to you to be a dad and have daily input with your growing children, or is going out shopping every week and meet sales associates that think it's cool you are a CD ???? The answer will determine what you do next. DECIDE CAREFULLY.
There are more people affected by your choice than just you.

Emily Ann

[KandisTX]

Emily hit it right on the head. BOTH OF YOU need to work together at the counseling or it is NOT going to work. She wants you to give up a part of you, and what is she giving up? Apparently she has already given up many aspects of married life according to your previous posts.

Now, I do not normally recommend any sort of advice for relationships, but if you two have no been intimate in YEARS, I can safely say that it is pretty much over but the crying.

I wish you the best, and hope that there is some semblance of balance that can be found.

Kandis:love;

[RobertaFermina]

Laceyjessica,

How you can carry on excitedly the thrill of buying new clothes in the face of potential separation and divorce from a lady who cares about you, your child, and your marriage, absolutely astonishes me.

Let me repeat myself.

I AM ASTONISHED AND BEWILDERED.

I am seeing that you call this "the best and the worst". Mentally you register the facts. Yet I see no real emotional acknowledgment or impact of potential separation in your words. I am not remembering any anguish or sadness about potential separation from your past posts.

I am feeling as if you are "already gone" from your relationship, or, for some reason, you don't see the potential consequences as part of reality. Is it possible that you have become isolated from your capacity to feel pain or sadness about your marriage?


...or is difficulty with such feelings preventing you from expressing them ?

I am at the point where I am considering that you are actually a troll, because I feel more concern and sadness about what is happening to you than you seem to....And I'm not the dramatic type.

If I didn't care, I would continue reading your posts without concern that I don't know whether to cry, groan, or laugh.:bonk:

So my last resort is to abandon silence and moderation. :dom: I don't believe it will get through whatever is between your heart and your ears(eyes)....and there is a possibility that a wake up call is what you need.

possibly....




WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE, LADY, THIS IS YOUR LIFE!
THE PINK FOG WILL CLEAR SOMEDAY AND YOU WILL BE ALONE AND IN PAIN, OR WORSE, NUMB TO THE REALITY OF EMOTIONS AND HUMAN CARES.

My feeling is that if you really felt this were the worst day, then, for that reason, it would truly be the best.

May it be so!

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[DemonicDaughter]

I have to agree with Roberta in that your lack of emotions regarding the possible loss of your marriage IS your answer.

The fact that all you really state is that you don't want to be alone tells me you already are. At this point it just looks like you are stalling and if so, I really don't blame your wife for demanding any actions one way or another. I don't know your wife's side of the story, we all mar our memories with our own opinions. For all I know, your wife could simply be a lovely woman who feels she no longer knows the man who admittedly "sneaks" out and purchases women's clothing. Maybe your pink fog has done more than clouded your brain, maybe she feels its interfered with the finances or maybe that you spend so much time away. Who knows but her? So I'm not going to tell you what I think of your wife nor completely take your word on how she is.

What I can do is tell you that you really need to sh*t or get off the pot hunnie. Life is too damn short to spend it hiding in the bathroom praying to whatever gods that things will simply "work out".

[TxKimberly]

Perhaps I'm reading more into your last two posts than I should, but it seems to me you have already made up your mind and want us to help you validate it. Only you can decide what your wife means to you and if she is worth your time and effort. I do not know your life or what you are going through and will therefore not start telling you how I really feel about what I've read in your last two posts.
I know if my wife were to tell me she were leaving, or thinking of leaving, my world would be crashing down around me. Dresses would be the absolute last thing on my mind. A life without my wife and children would be all I could think of. Just sitting here thinking about it makes my eyes start to tear.