Ever felt embarrassed for other people???

[Christina Louise]

As part of my ongoing forays into CDing, I went into some high street stores to look for bras, both yesterday and today. Yesterday was just to buy one to gauge the size and today to get one that was actually comfortable (and it is). Incidentally, I didn't realise before this that all the bras on a rack are in a random size order from where other people have looked at and then replaced them, meaning that one has to look at all of them to try to find one of the right size. So each rack takes a minute or two to get through.

Anyway, what I hadn't bargained on was that it is now school half-term, and there were lots of mothers with 8/10 year old kids in tow. As I was spending all that time at the bra racks I was thinking: what if one of those kids asks it's mother "why is that man looking at bras?".

Is it fair for a stranger to have to come up with an instant answer to such a question? :idontknow:

[Michelle-NC]

Is it that uncommon for a man to buy a bra for his wife/girlfriend? Honestly, I am learning more and more that most of the world just goes about their business, and really don't notice what others are doing. I have been to a store twice to try on stuff. The first time, I took male clothing with me, covering up the lady stuff, but the last time? I had a dress in hand and just marched on into the dressing room. Nobody even really give me a second glance...too busy with their own lives.

[Christina Louise]

Is it that uncommon for a man to buy a bra for his wife/girlfriend?.

Yes! Just how many times have you seen a man on his own in the lingerie section of a store? Maybe it's different in the US from UK. I don't stake these places out, but whenever I go for a look, the few males you ever see are trailing after their SOs looking like it's the last place they'd choose to be.

[Hazel Jane]

Hi Christina Same thing happened to me last week went into store looking for new panties three girls 13/14 yo right where i needed to be i left quickly before Qs could be asked. Returned next day during school time for saftey my excuse was valentines day should i have been questioned

[deja true]

Pretty much I agree with you Michelle, but I can certainly see the point to Christina's question. We do what we do to please ourselves, but we shouldn't risk embarassing others by doing it. That's pretty much how I feel and consequently almost never shop in places that have lots of whole family groups coming and going. I tend toward women's shops or boutiques.

I'm not afraid or embarrased shopping for myself, but don't want to impinge on others sensibilities. That's called being polite (and may get us noticed in a good way). Also, I often ask the SA, "Can you help me without embarassing either of us? I'm looking for ..." I've always gotten very good and helpful service and maybe changed a few minds in the process.

respect & love (for good manners),

deja

[tommi]

As long as you don't act like your doing something out of the ordinary most of the time no one notices. Now if your holding the outfit up to yourself sizing it then its a different matter.:D

[Michelle-NC]

We do what we do to please ourselves, but we shouldn't risk embarassing others by doing it. That's pretty much how I feel and consequently almost never shop in places that have lots of whole family groups coming and going. deja

Not saying we have to embarass anyone. I would never go in front of a family and ask to try on women's clothing, but at the same time, (at least her in the states) it is not that uncommon for a man to do shopping for his wife. While I grant you, the lingerie departments are not swarming with man, and there are very few of them there, there is still nothing "wrong" with it? If we act as if there is something wrong with it???

Based on this logic, no man should have to buy tampons either? And how many of us have had to pick these up at the store...:heehee:

[Daintre]

Buying ladies wear today is a breeze, there isn't a no man's land anymore. I feel comfortable shopping in any department.

Does anyone remember the British show "Are You Being Served" ? well here in Edmonton we had a ladies wear store for larger ladies. When I shopped there I was embarrassed, all the lingerie was kept in drawers behind the counter. If you wanted panties or bras, the sales lady would spread some out on top of the counter so you could choose. She would point out all of the features of the garment and I always ended up blushing.:blushing:

[Jilmac]

Yes! Just how many times have you seen a man on his own in the lingerie section of a store? Maybe it's different in the US from UK. I don't stake these places out, but whenever I go for a look, the few males you ever see are trailing after their SOs looking like it's the last place they'd choose to be.

Christina, in the 47+ years that I've been dressing, I have done 99.9% of the shopping myself. Some people have asked questions, others have talked in hushed tones, but none of that ever detered my from buying my feminine clothes. I have even joked about buying the clothes for myself, catching many people off guard (tee hee).

If I were ever to get to the UK, I would have no qualms about shopping in the women's dept. or lingerie dept. same as I do in the US. I have done almost all my shopping for fem clothes alone, but I would love to have a GG along to give an opinion, or a compliment, or a critique, or just as two girlfriends out shopping. As far as what you said about guys trailing after their SO's like it's the last place they'd choose, I used to do that just to throw my wife off track so she would think I didn't enjoy all that feminine finery.

So keep your chin up girl. Walk proudly into the lingerie, or women's dept, choose your clothes, try them on, be proud as you take them up to the cashier, and most of all, HAVE FUN while you shop and don't worry about what others say or think, you may never see them again. Luv and :hugs: Jill

[Christina Louise]

Does anyone remember the British show "Are You Being Served" ?

I'm free if Mrs. Slocombe's pussy needs tending to. :straightface:

[Christina Louise]

...So keep your chin up girl. Walk proudly into the lingerie, or women's dept, choose your clothes, try them on, be proud as you take them up to the cashier, and most of all, HAVE FUN while you shop and don't worry about what others say or think, you may never see them again. Luv and :hugs: Jill

I've reached the point where I keep the ever dwindling amount of embarrassement under control. But this was supposed to be about how other customers in the shop feel, not me.

[Wendy me]

with Members: 23,304, Active Members: 6,988 here i would say a few GM'S shop for bras...........

[KimberlyS]

... I had a dress in hand and just marched on into the dressing room. Nobody even really give me a second glance...too busy with their own lives.

Christina, I agree with Michelle, my experience has been most do not notice a guy shopping for femme items. And if they do they look and go about their business. The one's that notice are the guys with their wifes or GFs that do not even want to be there. At a VS a guy seen me coming out of the fitting room giving all but one bra to the SA as I exited. He literally had the jaw dropped dumbfounded look. He tried to talk to his SO about me but she just seemed to brush him off. Every time I looked his way he was staring at me, the rest of the time I was in the store. I looked at the different colors in the bra I was getting, and looked at some of the other merchandise as I headed towards the busy counter to pay for my bra. No-one else seem to care; the SA that helped me and took me into a busy fitting room, the other SA's, the other customers in the fairly busy store, those in line next to me or even the GG I ran into face to face in the fitting room area seemed to care I was there. All I got was glances, smiles, hi, hello, and other acknowledgments and small talk.

I usually leave the stores in situations like that thinking to myself "did that really just happen". As I check to make sure that yes I am in guy mode, often rubbing my face thinking yes I do need a shave.

[jenniferj]

The second Christmas after my wife and I were married, we were still all by ourselves in Los Angeles and Xmas spirit was somewhat lacking. It was gray and drab and just not New England, and we were working largely separate shifts and not seeing much of each other.

But I had to go shopping for my dear wife. I walked past the oil well pump in the shopping center parking lot and around and around inside the proto-mall. No ideas. And I was getting worried and frustrated. Finally I remembered that she had said weeks ago that she needed a full slip. So into the lingerie dept at I.Magnin and as I stumbled around, embarassed, an absolutely stunning salesgirl offered to help. I can still see her; chin length coppery red hair, green eyes and an outstanding body in a clingy brown jersey dress. "I'm looking for a slip for my wife", I stammered. "Fancy or everyday?" "Fancy, I guess" "OK, they're behind the counter. Do you have a color in mind?" "That tannish is kindof nice" "OK - ecru. Do you know what size?" "She wears a 34B bra - does that help?" "That's all I need - except..." "Except?" "How long should the slip be?" Terror - I had no idea. "How tall is she?" "5-6 or 7 - about your height I think" "How long does she wear her shirts?" (1973- real short skirts were in style)

And before I could respond she extended on leg from behind the counter, and said "here? or here? or here?" as she smiled at me and pulled her skirt up her thigh. "In the middle I think..."

And so it came to pass that I paid 30 (1973) dollars for a slip that sweet wife never liked all that much. But I finally had the Xmas spirit and found it easy to find lots of additional presents - she was very pleased with her haul.

And every year since, I have started my Xmas shopping off with a trip to the dainties department for something to put in dear, dear wife's stocking.

The point of this long story is that with absolute innocence (and lust) I frequently shopped alone and bought very personal things and nobody ever thought anything of it (other than that I was cute).

If when shopping as guy me for girl me there is any issue, I can always say "Wife's birthday", or "Shouldn't have put that stuff in the dryer", or any of a number of similar explanations. But I have never needed to.

-jj

[Joy Carter]

I've shopped dressed a couple of times. But one goal I have in mind, is try stuff on. :D

[docrobbysherry]

Early on in my CDing, I shopped at May Co., or Sears, not sure. Wanted some all-in-ones, to trim my figure. Went in the middle of a week day. Few folks in the women's dept, but no men in site anywhere. I had to ask the clerk about sizes. I said, " My wife's about my size". She didn't bat an eye, just rang up my purchases. Did that a couple more times. NEVER liked it.

Now, I know all my sizes and it's mail order and thrift stores baby!

[cyle_elise]

The second Christmas after my wife and I were married, we were still all by ourselves in Los Angeles and Xmas spirit was somewhat lacking. It was gray and drab and just not New England, and we were working largely separate shifts and not seeing much of each other.

But I had to go shopping for my dear wife. I walked past the oil well pump in the shopping center parking lot and around and around inside the proto-mall. No ideas. And I was getting worried and frustrated. Finally I remembered that she had said weeks ago that she needed a full slip. So into the lingerie dept at I.Magnin and as I stumbled around, embarassed, an absolutely stunning salesgirl offered to help. I can still see her; chin length coppery red hair, green eyes and an outstanding body in a clingy brown jersey dress. "I'm looking for a slip for my wife", I stammered. "Fancy or everyday?" "Fancy, I guess" "OK, they're behind the counter. Do you have a color in mind?" "That tannish is kindof nice" "OK - ecru. Do you know what size?" "She wears a 34B bra - does that help?" "That's all I need - except..." "Except?" "How long should the slip be?" Terror - I had no idea. "How tall is she?" "5-6 or 7 - about your height I think" "How long does she wear her shirts?" (1973- real short skirts were in style)

And before I could respond she extended on leg from behind the counter, and said "here? or here? or here?" as she smiled at me and pulled her skirt up her thigh. "In the middle I think..."

And so it came to pass that I paid 30 (1973) dollars for a slip that sweet wife never liked all that much. But I finally had the Xmas spirit and found it easy to find lots of additional presents - she was very pleased with her haul.

And every year since, I have started my Xmas shopping off with a trip to the dainties department for something to put in dear, dear wife's stocking.

The point of this long story is that with absolute innocence (and lust) I frequently shopped alone and bought very personal things and nobody ever thought anything of it (other than that I was cute).

If when shopping as guy me for girl me there is any issue, I can always say "Wife's birthday", or "Shouldn't have put that stuff in the dryer", or any of a number of similar explanations. But I have never needed to.

-jj

I like this story, you're a sweetheart.

One of my coworkers told me the other day, when I was simply lamenting about how I didnt like to shop alone (for anything...toilet paper, food, furniture) because I feel paranoid about other people and he said "you know, like 99% of people could give a crap about you." And he's right...

[shirley1]

no if i'm honest i am far too wrapped up in my own feelings and whether people are looking at me rather than how other people would feel - its true what most say most people dont take much if any notice its all in your head ! i buy mainly online now caus its easier but it would be good to be able to try things on before buying - runnin off the thread slightly i have always found it easier to be served by a gg rather than a male when femme shoppin it is usually ggs in womens shops but occasionally in department stores it can be males - dont know why it makes a difference to me !

[Kendra Irene]

Just last week I was at Payless. There was several ladies there buying shoes for an upcoming wedding. One lady's daughter (about 12 yrs.old) was watching me as I was looking at the women's shoes. I heard her grandmother say to her " He's looking for shoes for his wife."

At that point I decided to leave and come back latter, so that seeing me in heels would definitely raise some embarrassing questions for the ladies. I went to the Home Depot in the same strip mall and came back 15 minutes latter.

The SA asked why I left. I told her and she thanked me, as she hadn't even thought of that. I spent the next 20 minutes trying on shoes and walking around in heels, with other ladies in the store, but no children to ask those embarrassing questions of their moms.

Yes I was in DRAB

Kendra

[Nicki B]

The point of this long story is that with absolute innocence (and lust) I frequently shopped alone and bought very personal things and nobody ever thought anything of it (other than that I was cute).

If when shopping as guy me for girl me there is any issue, I can always say "Wife's birthday", or "Shouldn't have put that stuff in the dryer", or any of a number of similar explanations. But I have never needed to.

Exactly my experience (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1197026#post1197026)... (and in the UK, Christina ;) )

[Christina Louise]

Thanks everyone for your contributions.

[Eugenie]

Is it fair for a stranger to have to come up with an instant answer to such a question? :idontknow:

First of all, children have the talent to tell things that can hurt... Remember the famous story of the child who said "The king is naked..."

Children also react with what they have been taught...

But if you are in a place where nobody knows you, why care? As has been said you could be buying underwear for your wife/girlfriend...

I regularly buy bras at C&A or in other department stores. I am always in drab mode. I have learned to ignore what other customers are doing...

It took some time though to reach that freedom level...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[StephiefromSyr]

what if one of those kids asks it's mother "why is that man looking at bras?".

Is it fair for a stranger to have to come up with an instant answer to such a question? :idontknow:

I've been in that situation where i was just looking at a girl's shirt and i heard some kid ask his mom why is that man looking at girl clothes and mom just replied that i was probably shopping for a girlfriend. I gave no clue that it was for me so they had no reason to believe it.

[carolyn todd]

Hello christina
i find when i am out shopping money is the same as everyone else,
weather shopping dress or not, your best bet is write it
down on a piece of paper what you want and the size to look for
just in case you can't find it and have to ask.

if you go in those other clothes don't look around
at what others are doing concentrate on what you are doing.

best of luck
carolyn xx