Meeting CD's scary

[AmandaM]

Ok, no one here knows me, and I can say what I want! But seriously, meeting with other CDs can be dangerous. Aren't you afraid that some CD'ers, etc. are crackpots? On the flip side, what if you meet and are "attracted" to them. :heehee: Scared of where it might lead? Oh what a can of worms I just opened this is. :devil:

[Holly]

Amanda, I have meet several girls from the forum, from one coast to the other and even one visiting here from Australia. I have found them all to be kind, considerate, sensitive, and very nice. I'm sure that there are some out there that I wouldn't be compatible with, but then again, that already holds true with the general population.

[teresa jeen]

aka amanda? if your not putting yourself in that "position"then why ask the question? duh! if its gonna hurt me ?? (duh) again?!!!

[Joannne]

I have had good success meeting other CD's in support groups and other outings. That way if you don't hit it off in person, there are others to mingle with.

[shirley1]

maybe we're all crackpots ! well all the ones i've met are great - really nice friendly people - some you get on with better than others but that goes for meeting anyone - it just amazes me how some are so out of the closet about it and really dont care what people think ! if i can get to that stage i would almost be amazed by myself - i think if people like me (a closet cder still) are in any way affraid of other cders its caus some have the confidence to go out and be themselves therefore it makes me think they must be supremely confident compared to me ! maybe thats not so much scary as much as totally far removed from who i am as a person at the moment !

[Genifer Teal]

I was afraid the first time I went to a local support meeting. Why would I want to hang out with other weirdos like me? Then I met some of the best friends I still have and hang out with today. We are a support group for each other. If I never made a CD friend, I wouldn't be here today. Friends are important - especially within the community.

Gen

[Michelle Hart]

I'm a crazy person.....Ohhhhhh......Stay away from me.........:love:

[Joy Carter]

Everyone is a little weird Amanda. But carry mace for the others.:Angry3:

[Sallee]

Amanda,
meeting other CD's is fun of course caution anywhere is alway important but I have never met a CD who wasn't a nice person and we certainly shared an interest..I would be glad to meet you in person in drab over a cup of coffee in any of the local coffee shops meeting in a public place makes you feel safer. Or try the local support group now that first step is scary but after that you wonder why you were ever scaried Get out and enjoy life and embrace your self
If you want to meet send me a private message

[jennifer41356]

I am kind of offended by that, in another thread , there is talk of stereotyping, I suggest you read it:2c:

[docrobbysherry]

I understand your point. As a closet and online CD, it is all a little bit like a fun fantasy. Like an innocent, secret little hobby.
The folks on this site seem so nice, friendly, and well, sort of like "regular" people. But what r they like in person? Of course, some good, some bad, some weirdos, like "regular" people. So, which kind will u meet first?

If you've never actually met a CD live, like me, the idea of taking my CDing out of the "fantasy" catagory and into the real world is VERY intimidating!

It's a little like playing a war video game at home.
Then, because it seems like fun, signing up for the Marines and "playing" games in Iraq!

[Marvina Martian]

So I figure that CD'ers are just like anyone else you would meet, because we are! Some of us may be a bit whacked but the majority of us are more caring and genuine than most of the "normal" people you will meet. Most of us are guys without the macho bs and girls without the catty backstabbing stuff.

Hmmm, makes me want to have just CD friends now that I think of it ;)

Of course for those of us that prefer to stay trapped in our little mothball ridden closets, any one you meet that may know your "secret, Ooooo" will likely freak you out.

Me? I personally like meeting and talking with others. I usually can spot a nut and just stay away.

[Mitzi]

I've been going out dressed to tg venues since the late 60's and have never felt threatened by other CD's. Sure, there have been a few whom I didn't feel too comfortable with, but I always managed to disengage myself from them, hopefully tactfully.

Nowadays, I meet a number of CD's at Carla's, they're all "regular" people who just happen to have the same desire to dress as I do. Most are nice regular folks, but then, yes, there are a few whom I find a bit annoying, but how is that different from any group of people.

No, I don't find meeting other CD's a bit scary.

Mitzi

[trannie T]

I've met scores of other girls. The only deranged crackpot I've encountered is . . .me.

[Kate Simmons]

I usually met all of my CD friends face to face, never blindly. I've rarely been disappointed and most are really nice. Even so, it's best to touch base before 5 or 6 :drink: as a few may get a little feisty when they are a bit tipsy but it's cool for the most part.:happy:

[Stephanie Anne]

My pot is thoroughly cracked and I may or may not be attractive but at the same time I have gone through many of the same crazy trying times most people here have and that tends to make for a good time when you can relax and be yourself around someone else who is like you.


That being said people are people and some are just nuts!

On a side note, growing your nails out makes typing a royal P.I.T.A.!

[Nicki B]

Ok, no one here knows me, and I can say what I want! But seriously, meeting with other CDs can be dangerous.

And you're saying this from a wide experience, right? :rofl:

I met loads of folk F2F before I ever found t'internet - it always puzzled me what a sweet bunch the girls I met out were, they seemed too good to be true? It was only online that I discovered they could be just as bitchy as the rest of the world... :D


I sometimes think that, when we present as female, we can get the chance to be who we'd like to be - all the mean stuff can get left behind with 'him'?

[sterling12]

I think your questions are legitimate...for a newbie! If you go to a respectable meeting with other Gurl's I think you will regret your initial suspicions. I think you will find a lot of thoughtful, kind, and interesting people. I think you will make lasting friends. Remember, they are taking a chance too!

On the other hand, if you do a "hook up," with someone unknown on The Net. Someone who advertises that they are "adventurous," or "bi-curious." You just might fulfill all of your expectations. Oh and I almost forgot, if you act stupidly at the local LGBT Hangout, encourage attention from some of the "trannie-chasers," good luck to you....your going to need it!

Start slowly, stay in group social situations, be open, be friendly. Bet you will have a great time. Try the other alternatives I mentioned, bad stuff is likely to happen.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[SatinDoll00]

By meeting another CD, you have admitted to that person that you have a "problem".

And by meeting you, they have admitted that they have the exact same "problem".

Imagine meeting someone that actually understands this thing that drives us!!!

I haven't yet...but I need to!

Our plight should not be something we suffer alone!! (if you call satin lingerie plight!).

I would love to meet another CDer. I can think of no one on the face of this Earth that I would have more in common with.,

Morgan

[Bravesoul]

[quote=amandachick;1197991]Ok, no one here knows me, and I can say what I want! But seriously, meeting with other CDs can be dangerous. Aren't you afraid that some CD'ers, etc. are crackpots?


You do have a point, There is some risk in knowing some one online, and then meeting them in person. There are those that pretend to be someone and are not. But, I don't think just because we are CDers that this could or should be assumed. It does not matter what forum you are in, if you meet someone you met online, you just don't know. Caution. meet in a public place like the mall or somewhere there is lots of people around.

I think meeting some of the people on this forum would be cool, most of you are very nice people. ( I think a drink is in order :drink:)(too early)

Have some fun. as one great philosopher said..Dont worry, be happy..lol

[Davinnia]

My wife actually asked me if I would like to have a CD friend, & if I did, would I like to sit around dressed chatting to them. Well, I don't know any other Cders in Adelaide, or if any actualy use this forum, but it would be great to share the experience with as a friend.
Anyone out there ?

[Kelsy]

The Cds I have met are wonderful and a whole lot of fun and they are just like me "slightly off center" :D

Kelsy

[Littlej10]

In my experience it's the CDs who are the nice people and the others (normal?) who are the scary ones.

[TxKimberly]

Hi Amanda! Well, my job has me traveling around the US and sometimes outside of it, and I have started going out of my way to meet other TG's as I travel. Its sort of become a hobby with me beats the snot outta sitting bored in a hotel. I have lost count of how many TG's I've met, but I would guess that from this forum alone I've met at least a dozen, and outside of this forum it must approach a hundred. Every single one has been a good and decent person - every single one.
Some are "straight", some are "gay", some are very modest in the TG part of their lives, and some are pretty far out there with the "alternative" life style, but ALL have been good people.
I have even met a number of husbands and wives from here and that is just awesome. Most I've met have been married 20+ years and are happy. Nothing scary about that.
I think it's great you asked the question, but this does point out a problem with us - we don't trust each other. How can we expect others to accept us if we don't trust each other? Who in the world is going to know better than us that we are not freaks, but are instead average run of the mill folks with a twist? :-) If we can't accept each other, and show at least as much trust in each other as we would any other person we were going to meet, then we are pretty well and truly screwed I think.

[DemonicDaughter]

With as many CDs in this world who never tell... I wouldn't be surprised if you haven't met one already and just didn't know it. I don't see how meeting a CD is any different than meeting anyone else.

[SweetCaroline]

Scary and Dangerous?

You bet it is!

But so is crossing the street for the first time in your life. Learning to ride a bike. Traveling alone for the first time without your parents. Learning to drive a car. Going away to college.

All of them scary and dangerous.

Yet, I'll never regret doing a single one of those things. Just as I'll never regret stepping out of my car for the first time in my life fully dressed en femme, and walking down a public street in broad day light, and walking into an alternative lifestyle lounge to meet another crossdresser for the first time.

Call me a crackpot, but its seven months later and I'm still alive.

[charlie-50]

Ok, no one here knows me, and I can say what I want! But seriously, meeting with other CDs can be dangerous. Aren't you afraid that some CD'ers, etc. are crackpots? On the flip side, what if you meet and are "attracted" to them. :heehee: Scared of where it might lead? Oh what a can of worms I just opened this is. :devil:

Hi Amanda...the very first time i went out to meet some cder,s i was very nervois..because i didnt know what to expect ...but now that ive done it a half a dozen times ...its very injoyable ...and i wouldnt trade it for anything ....the only problem ive ran in to is when i meet some one new on line and we agree to meet in public 80% of the first time. they dont show up. and the only thing i can come up with is the reasons stated above for not doing so..im just wondering if anyone had any bad meets ? ...and if so how bad was it? ive talked with one girl thats had a some what bad expirience...at the end of this persons evening the other cder tryed to come on to her...but my friend told the other girl no ..and they both went there seperate ways...charlie....:hugs:

[Eugenie]

There are several parts to your post:


Aren't you afraid that some CD'ers, etc. are crackpots?
On this first one, every time and in all cases it was a great experience to meet other CDs. I've never been disapointed. There were some whom I felt more attracted to (intellectually, I mean), more friendly than others, but I never had to face a problematic relationship at the occasion of meeting a "sister".

I am however careful for the first meetings. I never go to a first meeting "en femme" unless the contact is recommended by a "sister" whom I have already met and whom I trust.

By the way, a good manner to start seeing other CDs is to attend a meeting of a reputable CD organization (Tri-Ess, Femmefever, Renaissance, etc.). Once you have established a trusting relationship, meeting other CDs can jeus be a great experience (well of course there are a few who are plain boring :o just like other people)


On the flip side, what if you meet and are "attracted" to them. :heehee: Scared of where it might lead?

There is nothing to be scared of here. Each of us should know his/her limits on how far to push a relationship.

On a few occasions, it was obvious that the sisters I was visiting felt attracted to me. I responded positively in a couple of cases and rejected the other proposals... No big deal...

I think that you should loosen up a bit and enjoy life... :happy:

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Chari]

We all carry secrets - regardless of who we are or appear to be! At times I wonder how many CDers I have met or have past me in my travels. Some may have suspected that I was "one of those" as they looked at me, but very few know the real me. I never try to judge or catagorize another, rather I try to accept others for what ever they feel comfortable with in their life. Most people are decent, kind, and sometimes curious, but rarely a "crackpot".


Enjoy, Chari

[Emily Ann Brown]

Would I meet a person who an hour ago contacted me and said "Hello, I'm a CDer...can we get together for lunch in an hour?" Not on your life....there is such a thing as getting to know a little bit about a person first.

Number of sisters I have met one on one is in the double digits ( on a quick count)....always had a great time. Maybe I'm the weirdo you are scared of huh?!!!


Emily Ann

[Nicki B]

Would I meet a person who an hour ago contacted me and said "Hello, I'm a CDer...can we get together for lunch in an hour?" Not on your life....there is such a thing as getting to know a little bit about a person first.

Many times I've gone out on my own, fallen into conversation with a girl I've never met before (usually at the bar in the Philbeach Hotel, in London), then gone for a meal together - it's pretty unusual to be unable to find anything you can share to talk about, most people have a story if you dig deep enough?

Every time I ended up having a fun, interesting evening and made a new friend, some I definitely keep in touch with, years later?


I wouldn't ever want someone to meet me in drab, first? I want their first impressions to be of the real me, so, even if they meet him later, they know who I really am? :strugglin

[Sharon]

But seriously, meeting with other CDs can be dangerous.

Isn't this true with anyone you meet for the first time? Use your head, be cautious, and try to establish a relationship with them first through messaging or telephone conversations.


On the flip side, what if you meet and are "attracted" to them.

And the downside to this is what? Unless you are already committed to a monogamous relationship, I feel you should just follow your heart.

[TerriM]

I met my first CD in person in 1977. Over the years I have met, well i cant count how many I have met. I have met a few crackpots but overall I have met some of the nicest and honest people I have ever met. I remember talking to that 1st CD and getting the wonderful feeling that there was someone that had feelings and thoughts just like me. I think meeting those people have changed my life for the better. But you must be careful because there are a few wackos out there. Just dont put yourself in a position where you are setting yourself up to be a victim.

Yours Terri

[JessieB]

I've met CDs of all kinds, some wonderful, some not so much. None of the ones I got to know online first have scared me, and I've met some wonderful gurls in clubs that I hadn't known previously, but a couple of strangers I've bumped into in clubs or whatever did make me really nervous. And I must say that some of the online friendships that translated into in-person meetings or relationships have gone south for one reason or another.

Here's a good rule of thumb I've formulated: if an online CD acquaintance seems to be mainly interested in sex, the odds are 50-50 at best that an in-person meeting might be troubling in one way or another. But if its about friends first, it nearly always turns out well.

[Niya W]

I've met scores of other girls. The only deranged crackpot I've encountered is . . .me.

So your the girl that my mother warned me i might meet in the tenderloin.


and for meeting CD/TS/TG i always meet in public place. NEver meet a crazy TG yet. Just a few that were not grounded in reality.

[Jennifer Brooks]

OK, no one here knows me, and I can say what I want! But seriously, meeting with other CDs can be dangerous. Aren't you afraid that some CD'ers, etc. are crackpots? On the flip side, what if you meet and are "attracted" to them. :heehee: Scared of where it might lead? Oh what a can of worms I just opened this is. :devil:

I've talked on the phone with one forum member here and actually drove to a TG meeting with another forum member. I'm sure I came off as a crack-pot. When going to the meeting, I was so extremely nervous I talked the entire time and for the most part, I made no sense. I didn't like my performance at all. :fim: :chatterbox:

[Tamara Croft]

Well, I met my Tam (he's a MTF CD although I didn't know at the time) on the internet, on ICQ after only 2 days of talking. We had a few beers, went back to my place and the rest is history... and yes, he could have been an axe murderer for all I know...

But it's not just CD's is it? it's anyone you meet off the internet... or anywhere for that matter no?

[Florence Tidji]

I met so many different CD and never had any problem. It's not more dangerous than to meet anybody else!!! And I've never been attracted by any CD: it's just fun to go out or to get prepare to visit them at home or outside...

The only problem is that most of them are boring (but may be I am too!!!): if a CD doesn't take care, she will have a real tendancy of talking only about herself, without being in communication. So now, I am more selective before meeting a CD: I meet once, and if there is nothing common other than CDing, I don't meet a second time!

[susan2010]

I'd be nervous about meeting ANYONE I just met on-line. They could be anybody. I have gone to several cd meetings, and have met a lot of very nice people, who are kind, caring, and concerned about others. Maybe wearing panties brings out that nurturing side.

[KandisTX]

First and foremost, I am always up front and honest. I am happily married to a wonderful GG and if they are seeking some bi-sexual partner then they need to look elsewhere because my gate does not swing both ways. I have met a number of sisters over the years and have always had lots of fun with them. Sexuality or physical attraction, on my part anyway, never enters into the picture.

Kandis:love:

[susann_gardener]

I didn't thing tg's ever got to meet eachother. I've been trying for years and nothing seems to click. Maybe I'm just too old.

[Melanie R]

Amanda,

Over 28 years I have met thousands of transgendered persons and many of their significant others worldwide. 98% of those I have met were great people who I am proud to call my lifelong friends. The other 2% were problem cases. That is good statistics. There is no way I would say that 98% of the non-transgendered persons I have met during the last 28 years are in the same category.

Melanie

[Nicole Erin]

Well Amanda, you have probably met a lot more CD's than you realise.
Are you sure none of your male friends, co-workers, or family members are not CD?

Maybe you have never set out to actively try to meet a CD knowing good and well that they are, but CD's are in every walk of life.

My experience is that most CD's are at least normal people. There are a few that are bad news but they are not hard to detect. Yes I have met a few who are really creepy but I just stayed away from them after that.

It is interesting, I think, that the way we look en femme has so little to do with what our personalities really are. Me, I think I look like a bitch when dressed up but I am far from it.

Anyways Amanda, I think you would enjoy the company of your sisters from here or your own city if you would give them a chance. I think for us girls, we need CD company at least once in a while. Maybe you are feeling bad cause you are wanting to reach out to your sisters but don't know how or maybe you are just nervous and don't know where to start. Just start talking to different people. It is true that most contacts never go anywhere, for various reasons like being too busy, but some do turn into more than "Hi, bye" relationships.

You know for me, I have spoken to a couple girls [and guys] here over PM's and you know, I have never once had a rude response. If you want to talk to someone, just send a PM and say something about one of their posts, their photos, avatar, signature, anything really. You cannot be shy. Heck, send ME a PM if you like. I will try not to be too creepy. :heehee:

[Linda C]

Amanda - I tried a question like this once and I will never make that mistake again. I had just joined this group and posted some pics - then went out with my family (by the way they have no idea about my other side) I ran into a CDer at an art show and was suddenly really paranoid that she might know me from the forum. I got some heated responses to my post. The responses taught me alot!! Most of the Cders in the world are cool and the others are just doing there thing and have no intension's of F**king w/ you. :D

[mikecd999]

Again I agree with Kimberly, I have never meet a cd that I was afraid of. My wife and I have gone to several cd conventions and always enjoyed it and meet a lot of very interesting people.
Mike

[Lilith Moon]

After a lifetime of closet I've started meeting other girls face-face in the last six months.

I agree with mikecd99...no problems at all and my wife has enjoyed the events as well.

[Sally24]

Scary? yes! Dangerous? NO!!

Just like meeting anyone you meet on-line, or thru ads, or second hand from a friend you have to be careful.

1. Always meet in a semi-busy public place.

2. Don't immediately give them your home phone # or address. Cell phones are a little different.

3. Have your own transportation available to leave.

4. Don't drink too much alcohol or intake too much of any other "substance". You want your head clear, if only to remember the nice experience.

5. Use common sense. If your sexually active, take protection with you and for heavens sake find out a little about a person before you get intimate!

6. Know where you are and how to get back on your own if needed.

7. HAVE FUN! Otherwise, why bother?

Personally I have met about a half dozen girls from here and over 100 from Sisters of Boston. Some are more fun than others. A few like their little cliques. Some are gossips so you have to be careful what you tell them. Some drink too much and embarass the rest of us. Some are way smarter than me. Some are way prettier than me. A few are the best friends that I've ever had! It's just like a room filled with all different kinds of women!

[paulaN]

I have been trying for years to meet up with a sista. And I would not hesitate for a second to meet up with one of you girls. However it has not happened yet. I will keep trying though. Someday it will click. I think that I may have to make the long trip to the Boston area to meet up with the sisters of Boston. That sounds like a blast. I know a few of the girls who meet with the sisters of Boston are also here. Like Sally and Sweet Caroline. I look forward to the day that I can have a sit down chat with one or more of the girls from this forum. Someday! soon I hope.

[charlie]

The CD's I have met out and about are for the most part like us here. It is a bit of validation on our parts to discuss CD. Some of the girls are actually looking for male partners at the clubs and the great looking passing girls were a bit superior acting to me and my fellow CD; but we are a faternity of oppressed, misunderstood folks. it makes for good converstion.

[SweetCaroline]

It's been said, there is nothing to fear but fear it's self. I have been know to shake the Beer bottle in my trembling hand, even at my own little group where I was the moderator.

The main thing is that we get out there, and that we are seen, It's how we are going to get noticed, and get recongized, and eventualy, get accepted.

Great post,
Hope to see you soon.


I have been trying for years to meet up with a sista. And I would not hesitate for a second to meet up with one of you girls. However it has not happened yet. I will keep trying though. Someday it will click. I think that I may have to make the long trip to the Boston area to meet up with the sisters of Boston. That sounds like a blast. I know a few of the girls who meet with the sisters of Boston are also here. Like Sally and Sweet Caroline. I look forward to the day that I can have a sit down chat with one or more of the girls from this forum. Someday! soon I hope.

[SandyR]

Great thread. I've talked to, chatted with, but have not yet meet a sis in person. I hope to someday. Thanks to all the replies I have some sound advice to work with.

Hugs!

SandyR

[Nicki B]

After a lifetime of closet I've started meeting other girls face-face in the last six months.

Ermm.. When you met me, I was trying to look scary - it was Hallowe'en? :heehee:

[LA CINDY LOVE]

I got family members that scare the sh*t out of me, but a cd....I feel safe.
I have to say we Cd's are some down to earth and very good people and I am happy to be one.


LA CINDY LOVE

[Lucypink]

I haven't meet any CD that I have apointed or that I contacted before going to meet, But I will love to. It has its risks yes, but life has worst risks by itself. If you have the oportunity be smart and do it with caution but do it.... I will.