Are we afraid to be thought of as gay?

[Annie D]

This started out to be a post for "Sales Associate" when I realized that perhaps what I was going to say could become another topic of conversation. I feel so much more comfortable with women sales associates that I asked myself why and what I have come to the conclusion that when dealing with men, I feel as though they might be thinking that I am "gay". I sincerely do not have any anti-feelings about anyone who is gay but do you somehow put an asterick* next to your crossdressing handle? I had an acquaintance in MCDC who once told me that before visiting his physician he told him, "I'm a heterosexual crossdresser, do you have a problem with that?" As a result of hearing this, I too, began proclaiming my heterosexuality to my sisters in the organization and was answered "me too!" As I become more confident with myself as Annie, I don't really care what anyone may think.

As I become braver in my adventures out of my house, I no longer feel being labeled gay but the denial is still there in the back of my mind. If I purchase my clothing from a male sales associate my thought is that they think that dressed as a woman that I just might be gay and that thought makes me somewhat uncomfortable. When I purchase from a woman, I do not consciously feel that they have any thoughts about my sexuality.

I think that many of us have gone past these feelings and I am just beginning to get past them myself. Once I get past all the barriers of feelings of guilt and inferiority, then I will be ready to venture out as I please, dressed any way I please.

What do you think?

[shirley1]

hadnt thought about that one - but yes i think that could be the reason some of us feel more comfortable being served by ggs - i think its human nature to sometimes think if your a guy whos into cding people are gonna think your trying to attract men - but we all know its not true - well most of us on this forum at least !

[Joy Carter]

Annie this is probably the biggest reason why most don't go out dressed. And the reason why are not liked, in general. Some of my friends I hung out with in my early adult years, all said you had to be gay to dress like chick. That it had to be only a sex thing. They rationalized that dressing was for only attracting a guy. No body knew of me then. When one of them found out a couple of years ago, that was the first comment out of his mouth.

[teresa jeen]

im on the same page as joy, she is in the same belief, that we all just have a desire to be ourselves, not so much as what society thinks we need to be.

[jennifer41356]

I think it is also a reason many dont go to gay bars, but look for lesbian bars, I find gay guys to be very sweet, they usually want to know all about us, why we dress, when we started , how often, things like that:hugs:

[AmberTG]

This is an interesting question, one that I've thought about from time to time. This subject has been discussed here before and I found it quite interesting how many people here are paranoid about someone else thinking that they're gay.
Myself, I could care less what someone else thinks when I'm out in public. The way I currently present myself, I'm sure that most people who bother to think about it at all think I'm gay. My answer to that is, "so what?" I can't see what difference it could possibly make if someone thinks I'm gay. Most people see gay people every day in our current society, people that can be casually identified as gay (whether they actually are or not). It's not like someone's going to walk up to you in public and "hit on you". If you're going to places where gay people hang out and socialise, why would you be surprised if you occasionally get "hit on"? But then, gay men aren't interested in cross-dressers mostly, they're interested in other men.
Anyway, just for the record, I prefer the sexual company of women. I have several gay aquaintances, their sex life doesn't make any difference to me. They're just people, like you and me

[docrobbysherry]

I'm a fairly recent CDer. My whole life before then, not knowing anything about CDs, and very little about gays, I just assumed CDs were either gay or bi.

[bimini1]

Funny, the ironic thing is that to be gay is more accepted by folks than this is. It might be easier if I was gay!! But I can't make something into reality that is not.

But yet the 1st thing we are quick to say is we are not gay. And then plenty of us are attracted to fantasys about being a woman that involves sex with a man. But to us it is not he same as being gay, in our mind we are a hetero woman with a hetero man. All sorts of variations on a theme out there and it takes ALL kinds. Go fig.

[Ellie]

I understand what you mean Annie.

I've felt more comfortable dealing with women at the checkout counter long before I started dressing for just about all my purchases. The only time I liked to deal with a guy is when I was buying condoms, etc. :D

Not so much because I thought they might think anything about me one way or the other but because I like woman.

[Vicky_Scot]

People assume that we are gay because we the transgendered have been stuck onto the end of the gay community because society did not know where else to put us.

I have visited a good few gay venues dressed and I would say that we are tolerated by the gay community rather than accepted.

But to answer your question.

Are we afraid to be thought of as gay?

I assume the question is directed towards people who are dressed whilst shopping.

Afraid no ,what is there to be scared of that a sales assistant my think your gay. They can think what they want. I may look at the sales assistant and think he is gay or just a complete twat but do you think he is afraid about what I think......No

They just want your money.

Xx Vicky xX

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Annie D

I have gone the whole route, most of us have. First when we dressed as a female we used it to releave our self for what ever reason. Then I went to a drag club met a fellow Cd er and lived with him/her for 6 months. We experamented, and what I learned is that sex between anyone M+F M+M or F+F is just that, it is an animal instink , for me anyway. Everyone will take there own path, I am now living with a beautiful women that love all of my female and male modes. I am one of the lucky ones to have such a women. When you are a man you do man things, and vice a versa as a women, I love being a women. For u you will have to take your own path. Good luck.

Josephine

[Nicki B]

..I found it quite interesting how many people here are paranoid about someone else thinking that they're gay.


..I have come to the conclusion that when dealing with men, I feel as though they might be thinking that I am "gay".
.......If I purchase my clothing from a male sales associate my thought is that they think that dressed as a woman that I just might be gay and that thought makes me somewhat uncomfortable.


But yet the 1st thing we are quick to say is we are not gay.

As a relative newcomer to this site, I too am repeatedly amazed at just how much deep-seated homophobia seems to be displayed by so many people here, primarily it seems, those based in the US... It was something I was already thinking of starting a thread about.

Much of it (but not all, by any means) seems to be fuelled by ignorance. But the concept that gay = bad seems almost a given here and, tbh, I find it very offensive?

If someone assumes I'm gay when they meet me out, well, I'll happily take that as a compliment. The LGB movement has fought long and hard for recognition, equality and fairness - those of us who use the T-label often, quite frankly ride on their coat-tails. I'm proud to be associated with that.


I do also find the concept that, as someone who tries to be taken for a woman yet is sexually attracted to women, I'm 'straight' more than faintly silly...

[Eugenie]

Are we afraid to be thought of as gay?

Sorry :sb:

What's wrong with being Gay? Why being thought of as gay would be a problem?

How can we expect not to be subject of discrimination if we are ourselves having a discriminatory attitude towards another group of people, in the present case gays?

I know, the excuse is "I have no negative feelings towards gays, but I wouldn't want to be thought of as gay."

Isn't that a non sequitur?

In LGBT organisations, the T stands for "Transgender" how do we expect them to keep defending our cause if so many of us keep flagging their heterosexuality as a sign of "normality"?

I work with some of these LGBT organizations in the frame of antidiscrimination activities at the European level. They are doing a tremendous work that will help us all. It would be sensible to support them as they support us.

This post isn't addressed to any of you in particular nor limited to this thread, it is a general soap box expression on this subject.

Eugenie

[Holly]

...If I purchase my clothing from a male sales associate my thought is that they think that dressed as a woman that I just might be gay and that thought makes me somewhat uncomfortable. When I purchase from a woman, I do not consciously feel that they have any thoughts about my sexuality...So, let me ask you a question; if a male sales associate is earning a living selling women's clothing, do you associate him with being gay? Honestly, it makes about as much sense as you believing he would think that you are gay by purchasing them. And even if he he was, would it make a bit of difference to you? Would you think less of him because he was thoughtful and helpful? :(

[Vicky_Scot]

Hi Annie D

I have gone the whole route, most of us have. First when we dressed as a female we used it to releave our self for what ever reason. Then I went to a drag club met a fellow Cd er and lived with him/her for 6 months. We experamented, and what I learned is that sex between anyone M+F M+M or F+F is just that, it is an animal instink , for me anyway. Everyone will take there own path, I am now living with a beautiful women that love all of my female and male modes. I am one of the lucky ones to have such a women. When you are a man you do man things, and vice a versa as a women, I love being a women. For u you will have to take your own path. Good luck.

Josephine

Speak for yourself dear.

I never experimented and never went the whole route.

Xx Vicky xX

[annekathleen]

Ive seen this topic resurface once in a while.
So what if a crossdresser might be gay, or might be bi.
To each their own.
Sometimes when you look at a normally dressed man,
you cannot always accurately detect his sexuality.
Sometimes when you look at a crossdresser,
you cannot always accurately detect his sexuality.

[Sarah89]

I'm not afraid of being thought of as gay, Its more of being afraid to be thought of as a "dirty pervert" :p

I dont care what people think of me really in terms of sexuallity.
Mainly because sexuallity doesnt exist for me, Im not going to say I like one gender over another just because of their biological design, because its kinda sexist.

But if sombody wants to label me gay to get a better understanding, then so be it.

[Nicki B]

So what if a crossdresser might be gay, or might be bi.

So, I think we ought to actively discourage homophobic attitudes - so many people here don't seem to even realise they are doing it, or that it's very hurtful - particularly given that we do have members here who identify as gay?

[Kate Simmons]

What is in a name or title really? A lot of times it betrays the inner fears of the person saying it or thinking it. I could care less myself, stick and stones and all of that because it really does not affect my self perception and I know who I am. I'm also proud to have friends in the LGBT community and I love them regardless of their pursuasion because they are true friends. Besides in a pure sense, one of the definitions of being "gay" is being happy and I'm definately happy to be myself.:happy:

[Sharon]

If someone assumes I'm gay -- I don't care.
If someone assumes I'm a crossdresser -- I don't care.
If someone assumes I'm from Mars -- I don't care.

Why is it so important to exclaim to everyone what you are not? Heck, most of you would lie through your teeth if someone ever asks if you like to wear women's clothing.

How many other biases do you people have? Geez, you would think men who wear panties would be a little more enlightened in their attitudes towards others. :rolleyes:

[Emily Ann Brown]

I suppose when married I wanted to be seen as "straight" because I didn't want to have to fight the "Do you want a man sexually?" question from her. Turned out I did anyway.....got referred to as the QUEER "WOMAN" often during arguments. So much for that.

When I started meeting sisters I figured out quickly that I needed to let my "expectations" be known up front so misunderstandings did not ruin a perfectly good meeting. You be who you are and I'll be who I am and we can be friends, just not lovers.

Today......think of me what you wish. I know who I am. I sometimes go to gay bars just because I know I will be at least tolerated and will not end up in a big hassle. If I'm shopping in drab I'm shopping, I don't offer any explanation....why should I??? In hindsight, I doubt we gain any stature in the public's eye whether we are known as straight or bi or gay.....we are just thought of as weird.


Emily Ann

[Joy Carter]

Looking a GG's they them selves, and GM's (some now. M & F) have sexualized women in this society. So in the uninitiated mind, would naturally think we are gay. And not to knock anyone here, some of us dress like we are trolling for a date. Not that you are. You GM's, think back to when your sex hormones, controlled your view of GG's. And you GG's, think back to when you were (if you did now) dressed to attract. So it would be a reasonable assumption to some, that we where gay. That we where looking to attract a partner. Now that being said. "Disclaimer" This post of mine in no way has anything to do with anyone living or dead. Any similarities to anyone is purely coincidental. :rolleyes:

[yms]

This whole issue gets complicated for me when I think about it from the other side of the street.

Being "homosexual" means preferring as a sex partner someone with the same genitals. Now, unless you see two people having sex, and can see their genitals, how would you know their sexual orientation?

Yet we see "butch" women and effeminate men and we say "she's a lesbian" or "he's gay." In other words, we see their gender presentation, not their sexual preference.

Even some of the outdated euphemisms for homosexual - "light in the loafers" comes to mind - speak to outward public mannerisms. If you ever peruse the gay personals, you will often see phrases like "straight-acting," implying a conventional masculine appearance.

Of course, no one ever asks an effeminate gay man or a butch lesbian if he or she is transgendered.

Most of us, when we die, will be able to count on one hand the number of people we had sex with, but we "have gender" with everyone we ever come in contact with. In my mind, gender is the more encompassing concept, and within that are sub-sets based on choices of sexual partners. We are attracted first by and to gender, not genitals.

[RobertaFermina]

In a world of one or two, there is no need for labels.
In a world of millions, how could we interdepend and flourish without them ?
They suck, and we need them !?

I could live without having to know who is gay or straight.
In a world without labels, I might be free of so many expectations of others and of myself.
I might live in the moment where anything can happen.

Labels...I am <blank>, she is <blankety-blank>, he is <oh bother!>.......they are a life sentence !


:rose: pun intended :rose:

[yms]

Sorry :sb:

What's wrong with being Gay? Why being thought of as gay would be a problem?

How can we expect not to be subject of discrimination if we are ourselves having a discriminatory attitude towards another group of people, in the present case gays?


Eugenie



Good one Eugenie!

[Nicki B]

Looking a GG's they them selves, and GM's (some now. M & F) have sexualized women in this society. So in the uninitiated mind, would naturally think we are gay.

But Joy, why is that a problem? Why does it matter to you what they think?

[Kathleen Ann Trees]

Because sexuality, like racism or faith, is very complicated, the answer is complicated. But yes.

My life has been the Happy Days nuclear family. Mom, Dad, brothers. Sports. School. Job. Wife. Kids. Mortgage. The only thing missing is Church. Never been into that. Probably because, in my life, CDing would be considered a sin. That's a whole 'nother thread.

Many of you will say, poor dear. You've been so sheltered. I've never had a gay friend. Friends of extended family is as close to the GLBT as I've been. (Except for the mirror, obviously.) As I write this, I cannot honestly say anybody at work (same company for over 25 years) is outwardly gay.

If it came out at work, I would be ostricized and probably lose my job. Not overtly, but I wouldn't want to work with the hostility that would come with it. Unless I was willing to change everything in my little cocooned world, being thought of as gay would be a problem.

So yeah. If I was thought of as gay, I believe it would change my life. Perhaps that kind of change would ultimately be good. But I'm not willing to give up the comfort zone I'm in.

Kathleen Ann

[kathy001]

As i mentioned in a previous thread when i venture out in public as Kathy, i try to present as much as i can female exactly for some of the reasons outlined thus far. When out in public, I definitely don't want to be taken as a homosexual or a fulltime Tranny because i'm neither.
And as Joy mentioned earlier, i don't dress to troll for dates, titilate men or attract attention. But sometimes it doesn't work out that way when some wise-arse teenage girl not only reads but makes comments which i've had to live with.

I enjoy my guy life and yes also real girls! Further, i don't ever see myself in a gay bar...period! Now having said this, the Libertarian in me has no problems whatsoever with others engaging in the gay life style, whatever floats one's boat. Just not my cup of tea!!

[kymmieLorain]

I believe that is about society putting labels on people. and most people go along with society. most people are followers whether they realize it or not. People think that being male I must like Football, but actually hate the game. I only go to the local collage game to watch my son march in the band. Am I not a male because I don't watch certain sports, or go out an get plastered drunk :drink: By looking in my panties I can see that I am indeed male.
As I sit here writing this I am dressed in a pink baby doll nightie, so. I wear what I want. society is all about labels. I am male so I must like football. I ride a Harley so I must be a lowlife. I have tattoos so I must be strange. I wear womans cloths and lingerie so I must be gay.

Labels it is what society places when you do follow what people believe to be normal.
In school I was some what of an outcast. I had few friends. I was a motorhead from the autoshop. people knew me for my car than for myself. Did I care, some but Would I change it if I could, some parts but not the majority of it. Would I change my life, again some parts. But would actually start crossdressing sooner.

Hugs
Kymmie

[bimini1]

Because sexuality, like racism or faith, is very complicated, the answer is complicated. But yes.

My life has been the Happy Days nuclear family. Mom, Dad, brothers. Sports. School. Job. Wife. Kids. Mortgage. The only thing missing is Church. Never been into that. Probably because, in my life, CDing would be considered a sin. That's a whole 'nother thread.

Many of you will say, poor dear. You've been so sheltered. I've never had a gay friend. Friends of extended family is as close to the GLBT as I've been. (Except for the mirror, obviously.) As I write this, I cannot honestly say anybody at work (same company for over 25 years) is outwardly gay.

If it came out at work, I would be ostricized and probably lose my job. Not overtly, but I wouldn't want to work with the hostility that would come with it. Unless I was willing to change everything in my little cocooned world, being thought of as gay would be a problem.

So yeah. If I was thought of as gay, I believe it would change my life. Perhaps that kind of change would ultimately be good. But I'm not willing to give up the comfort zone I'm in.

Kathleen Ann


We have a couple of outwardly gay folk at the job. Everyone treats them with respect until a few of the smaller minded ones get at the lunch table. Then they let it fly. But for the most part they don't seem to have too many problems.

Now let someone try and come up in there trans and all hell will break loose. I think people are so trained in visuality. He may be gay but at least he dosen't wear a dress type of attitude. Most are still ignorant to all of the definitions we have here.

They think in terms of straight or gay and no in between. They do not understand someone who wears ladies clothing talking about they are straight. They won't accept that. Hell if I didn't have gender issues I'd be just as ignorant because of the socialization you come up under.

[Nicki B]

And as Joy mentioned earlier, i don't dress to troll for dates, titilate men or attract attention.

Neither do I - I dress for me..


Further, i don't ever see myself in a gay bar...period! ...Just not my cup of tea!!

If you've never tried it, how on earth do you know? You'd find yourself in a place where interesting people who are used to thinking differently hang out... :strugglin

[SarahHall]

I never thought I was gay until I started to dress like a girl. The thought of having a homosexual relationship has been a part of my life since then. I want to share my bed with a guy while I am dolled up and I am very comfortable with it today.

[kathy001]

Nicki B Wrote:
If you've never tried it, how on earth do you know?
I never tried robbing a bank either...nor will i ever...i don't need to know! :D


You'd find yourself in a place where interesting people who are used to thinking differently hang out...
I've got enough interesting charactors to hang out with!

No thanks! :tongueout

[Nicki B]

I never tried robbing a bank either...nor will i ever...i don't need to know!

It's a long time since being homosexual was seen as a criminal activity.. :sad:


I've got enough interesting charactors to hang out with!

No thanks! :tongueout

Are you afraid you might catch something? :strugglin

[kathy001]

The persistant Nicki B Wrote:
Are you afraid you might catch something?
Nicki, you're barking up the wrong tree!
Believe me, there's nothing i'd want to catch in a gay bar! :yawn:

[CaptLex]

Many of you will say, poor dear.
*raises hand*

Yup, I pity you in that tight, airless, dark closet you choose to live in. But to each his own. :p

If I can compare homophobia and transphobia to another form of prejudice, racisim . . . someone once said to me that black people have to face and accept their "difference" because it's obvious to everyone around them. They can't change or cover up the color of their skin, so they deal with ignorance and prejudice every day and learn to be proud of who they are. It's not the same with some of us because we can and do hide our difference from the world a lot of the time. But what if we couldn't hide it? What if everyone that looked at us unequivocally knew that we're crossdressers, transgender and/or homosexual, bisexual or asexual? How would we deal with that? Would we jump off a bridge or hide in a cave in order to avoid the remarks and actions we know will come? Or would we just go on with our lives proudly, and tell those that don't like us to eff off? :raisedeyebrow:

[Fab Karen]

A salesperson ( male or female ) may think you're a CD ( but then again they might assume you're buying for a gf/wife ) another thing they may think is: "yes! another good sale."
Listen to Nike: Just do it.

[mikecd999]

I have traveled a lot, always with my wife and usually in a skirt or dress. That seems to really confuse a lot of people, wondering why a guy in a skirt is with a female. I like the confused look on people a lot and I really don't care if they think I'm gay or not.

Mike

[Marcie Sexton]

I am much to old and mature for what others think...

I think the nursery rhyme says it all...

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me...

[Stephanie Anne]

This division of gay not gay always gets to me. I don't like it when people foolishly assume someone is inferior simply because of their beliefs.

The trans community (crossdressers included) is the last oppressed group really in this country. We are the bottom step on the lbgt ladder and due to the perception that we are deceiving people and that this is nothing more than a mental disorder, we get no respect.

The last thing we really need is to try and alienate ourselves form the only other community that might accept us and help to get us more rights and acceptance.

On the SA part of the original post, I find I like dealing with women better as they generally don't have as crappy of an attitude. If however there was a choice between a gay man and woman SA, I would happily trot over to the gay man for no other reason than he most likely will have a better grasp on what it is I am trying to buy.

As for being labeled as gay, I would not mind being thought of as gay, I simply have no sexual desire towards men at this point in my life.

[Julie York]

You big puff.






:D

[Teresa Amina]

Well it's always funny to consider people's reactions when Amber and I are out around here. Sometimes I'm fully Teresafied and other times just "in between". You can bet whatever you want to they think we're gay. So what? It goes with the territory and if you're going to be out and about you need to accept that up front. Or stay in hiding :tongueout

[deja true]

Gosh, I wish I'd been here earlier in the day to swing a couple of bats at all the closet homophobes in here. But a lot of the better adjusted girls have already voiced my thoughts many times over.

If you harbor hidden prejudices against any others , you probably still hate yourself down deep, too.

As an old girlfriend once told me, "We're all creatures of God's making, an' God don't make no junk!"

respect (for the respectful) & love (for the loving),

deja

(How come there are over 300 viewers right now and a dirth of new posts? Get talkin', bitches!)

[Katrina]

I've been mistaken for gay even before I came to accept myself as a CDer. That was before I ever started wearing girls clothes in guy mode. I'm sure I'm mistaken for gay much more often now. I'd estimate that a good 25% of people I see on the street that don't know me would assume that I'm gay.

In the past, that bothered me. Then I had some close friends come out and met some others who are THE nicest people. If I'm assumed to be more like them, I have NO problem with that. What other people think is not my problem.

[Patrice]

I never really understood the human race until I read a magazine article on primate pack dynamics, chimps in particular. We consider ourselves to be superior and evolved but if you peel things back, look beneath the digital watches and string cheese in a can, we still behave and react like monkeys. The 2 most basic divisions wired into our psyches are 'Us/Them' and 'Alpha/Beta' - whatever isnt familiar and known MUST be bad, and there must always be Leaders and Followers (to put it kindly). Homophobia sort of includes both these principles, homosexuality is so different from the standard procreative sexual dynamic that at the most basic cultural level we consider it bad. (A little aside, the White Anglo-Saxon Protestant culture is almost unique in its innate homophobia). Add in that in the man/woman dynamic we also assume the man is superior, he takes and conquers his property (the woman) and thus man considers that to be looked upon as a sexual object by another man is to be considered a thing, less, property.

People almost never throw this out this blatantly, but Im a firm believer in boiling things down to the most basic words needed to describe it. We spend too much time over-rationalizing things through language til it bleeds the impact out of it, and anything without impact can be safely ignored.

More to the point, homophobia is an instinctual animal reaction, and a sign of sentience is the ability to move beyond your instincts, to THINK rather than react. Or we should just move back into the trees.

[Kristen Kelly]

I get mistaken for Gay more in drab lately, I act the same way no matter how I'm dressed, enfeminine. I honestly don't care what others think. For the record I am Bi.

[charlie]

I always assume that when I go out dressed those that get close enough to see that I am a "man in a dress" believe I am both gay and a pervert. It is always refreshing when someone stops and talks to you and wants to be friendly. I'm sure that the "friendly" sales assistants also think we are gay and perverts as well. Hell, even gays don't understand us if we aren't bi or gay and dressing. One guy at a table said to his friend "Just shhot me if i ever CD".

[kathy001]

This thread is getting to the point of divisivness and approaching the non-sensical! For crying out loud, each and everyone one of us dresses as the opposite sex at one time or another which is considered deviant behavior by a large segment of the populous.
True or False?

Now why on earth would anyone in this here Crossdressing Forum be prejudiced against another lifestyle which is also considered deviant by some?
Some crossdressers are straight and some crossdressers are gay..so friggen what!

Let it be already before we end up in two very different camps! My :2c:

[Nicki B]

I happen to believe that God reserves sexual activity for married couples and that He established marriage as a relationship between man and woman.

So a loving relationship is okay, as long as they don't have sex? :strugglin


But that doesn't mean we should all of a sudden make those things the standard or the norm.

What are LGB people supposed to do though, if they aren't allowed to marry? Aren't we all made in His image??

It may not be the norm - but why can't it be seen as normal?

[Melora]

I think that M & F homosexuality is pretty much accepted in most of western society, (depending on where you are), But here in America I feel that the TG community are actually the most unaccepted of any race, color or creed, (once again depending upon where you are).. :2c:
About same sex marrage.. = What a ridiculous thing to have laws AGAINST!, Soo Old World.. Let people just be happy and pay their taxes! Fooey on the Government!!
And yes this whole thread is getting kinda way off the point.. Though I added to its pointlessness a bit? Hehe:happy:

[Holly]

This thread is at risk of being closed unless it gets back on point!

Holly
Super Moderator

[Annie D]

By listening to each of you and trying to understand your feelings and thoughts about my question, helps me to understand myself better. Many of you have arrived at a place where you feel confident in who you are and your own sexuality. I sincerely hope that I am reaching that point as well.

When I first started wearing my mother's clothes, I didn't know that I was crossdressing, I just knew that it made me feel good. As I matured and I understood a little more about myself, I would sometimes become disgusted with myself and purge. Many of us have done so because of the guilt that we felt about wearing women's clothes. I have not felt guilty for a long, long time. I now recognize that I love to wear women's clothing and would do so 100% of the time if society would let me. I too, don't worry about if anyone thinks of me a gay, in the same way that I don't worry about if anyone thinks of me as straight. I feel fairly asexual.

I made a vow in marriage to my wife to be faithful to her and I do not plan to go against my pledge to her. I do sometimes feel guilty about the other women in our lives, ME, but my wife knows who Annie is and no longer fears that she will be unfaithful.

Thank all of you; by reading what you have written, I get a better sense of who Annie is and where she is going.

[Joy Carter]

Nice close to this thread Anne.:D

[Brynna M]

I don't go out and I have only rarely bought things in person. I am not so much afraid of being thought of as gay but of being regected by my people close to me. Crossdressing is not the most important thing in my life and i would not like to loose friends or be rejected in my activities.

I know that good friends should and would accept me but there are people and both my work and my other hobbies should they find out that would make work and those hobbies difficult.

On a related note I believe that most women are most accepting and empathetic than men. So i'd believe they would be more apt to accept or atleast ignore a crossdresser

B

[Nicole Erin]

I could give two craps if someone assumes I am gay. It ain't hurting me none.

My story is just like Katrina's. Some people have assumed I am gay. Many still do.
For the record, I am not.

[Jamie001]

I believe that friends that can't accept you "as you are" are not really friends in the first place. I find that crossdressing is a good barometer to gage your friends and acquaintances. If they can't accept me, then I don't want them around me! Also, keep in mind that what you do when you are not at work is your business. Don't give people power over you that they don't deserve. The company that you work for only owns you when you are on the clock.



I don't go out and I have only rarely bought things in person. I am not so much afraid of being thought of as gay but of being regected by my people close to me. Crossdressing is not the most important thing in my life and i would not like to loose friends or be rejected in my activities.

I know that good friends should and would accept me but there are people and both my work and my other hobbies should they find out that would make work and those hobbies difficult.

On a related note I believe that most women are most accepting and empathetic than men. So i'd believe they would be more apt to accept or atleast ignore a crossdresser

B

[Christa]

I'm gay. I'm a crossdresser.

I'm continually surprised by the homophobic feelings that creep out in some of these posts. But I'm really encouraged and gratified to see so many smart, confident, well-adjusted girls step forward to make sure all the members of this group (gay, str8, whatever) feel welcome and supported.

Thanks!

- Christa
:wave:

[Christen3042]

I've been crossdressing (in the closet) since my early teens. I have always loved women. I love how they look, how they walk, how they feel, what they wear, everything about them. I have never been attracted to guys at all. Recently, I've ventured out of that closet a bit and found that I like having sex with other CDs. Am I gay? Does that label 'fit' me? Does it matter? Do I care? I feel that mutual attraction, not the plumbing, is what counts. That doesn't make me a bad person.

Are you gay? Are you straight? Bi? A postal worker? Tall? Blue eyed? Lithuanian? Have a dog? Is your son's name 'Ralph'? What do you put on your burgers? What concern is any of that to me? If we're going to spend any time together, my concern is "Are you a good person?"

PHOBIA means "fear", not "hate". Unfortunately, a great many people hate what they fear, whether it's gays, spiders, snakes, or republicans. It seems to me that homophobia, hoplophobia, triscadecaphobia, and all the other phobias are symptoms of ignorance. If you understand that gay people are just PEOPLE who happen to have different tastes, they're not so scary anymore.

Chris

P.S. The New Year's Eve party I went to in a gay bar (with my GG girlfriend) in Seattle many years ago was the best time I've ever had in a club - totally non-threatening (I was VERY OBVIOUSLY straight) and a hell of a lot of fun.

[Alana65]

Am I afraid to be thought of as Gay ?

In a word, NO.

[annekathleen]

I guess, only if you're not....
If you are, no big deal!

[JoAnnDallas]

I am sure many of the GG at my Nail Salon think I am Gay. When it is warm enough, I will go wearing a Ladies Hanes T-shirt, Shorts, panties, and my open toe sandels with no socks, so my polished toes show. I also have long acrylic nails too. My nail tech knows I am not Gay, as she has meet my wife and sometimes my wife goes with me.
I once had a GG sitting in the chair beside me, mention that she had no problem with me being Gay. I chuckled and told her that I was Not Gay. She looked at me with a "What " look. I quickly told her I was TG. It was the first time I had told anyone other than my wife or my nail tech that I was a TG. This seem to make the GG relax and I got the feeling that she thought I said TS, but I decieded not to correct her. After that she treated me like any other GG that might be sitting next to her. We chatted the whole time we were getting our pedicures. She did ask what name I was going to use after I transisted and I told her, "JoAnn". She said it was a pretty name and it fit me.

[Carly D.]

I never considered it before, really.. then one day I told a girl on line that I crossdressed and the very first thing she asked was am I gay.. and I answered no and why would she think that I was.. and then I start to research the whole crossdressing thing here on the internet and find out that that is how most people think of crossdressers.. do I think of myself as gay when dressed?? I think of myself as being a guy who is dressed the way he wants to dress, and sex has nothing to do with it..

[Sandi jo]

I'm sure some people think I'm gay but I know that I'm not so I don't even think about it, if anything my wife would say I'm a good lesbian

[wishonastar]

I like women and find male bodies disgusting. I do not like the gay community so if I became a women over night I would try to be a hetersexual.

Try to figure that one out. I guess that is why the call it gender confusion.

[CaptLex]

I like women and find male bodies disgusting. I do not like the gay community so if I became a women over night I would try to be a hetersexual.

Try to figure that one out. I guess that is why the call it gender confusion.
So you'd rather be hetero than be with whoever you're attracted to? :confused:

I don't think it's gender confusion, just silliness. You can't "try" to be a heterosexual anymore than you can try to be any other sexual orientation. You either are or you aren't.

[Nicki B]

I guess, only if you're not....
If you are, no big deal!

IME, it's more often the reverse? The truly hetero people aren't threatened and don't fear it..

[Miss Tessa]

I'd rather deal with women for anything. I'm a TS, not a CD, and lesbian at that with a distaste for men and their heartless lack of sensetivity. I haven't one male friend.

[Adrienne Heels]

It wouldn't bother me at all to be considered gay, and I'm sure there are people out there who think I am gay, even when I am in guy mode.