Nature or Nurture, Why did you choose to be this way?

[Bev]

How many times have I heard the Question...

Why did you choose to be this way?

What is your feeling on this? What do you think?:daydreaming:

I personally believe the Creator of the Universe made me this way.
It was not a choice.
It is how I was wired.

Et vous?

Bev

[Kieron Andrew]

from a boys point of view i dont believe any of us choose to be this way....

[RobertaFermina]

Ummm....
I can be any way I'm willing to put up with.
I feared this. I wanted this. I tried this. I like this.
I get serious hassles from some I hold very dear.
That gives me pause, but does not stop me.
CD brings forth a part of myself that is beautiful and powerful and which completes me.

So it makes me more of whoever I am meant to be.

It is part of my nature, I had to nurture it. Hell! I've had to fight for it!

:rose: want a piece of this? eh? :rose:

[Nicki B]

The choice I have is to accept who and what I am, or to spend my life feeling guilty, and ashamed, and angry.. :hmmm:

[Drake]

I didn't choose to feel this way but I'm making the choice to finally accept it.

[KandisTX]

I think the only "choice" any of us have made is to accept what we are. I know for myself I did not choose to be a CD, but I chose to finally accept it as part of that which makes me who I am and therefore sub sequentially found my happiness.

It is your choice to accept or reject those parts of yourself that are a part of the whole package, should you reject them, you will come to find that you are not as happy as you could be had you accepted them all. We all have our idiosyncrasies that enable us to be the unique individual we are inside. Don’t question it, too much ;)

Kandis:love:

[Daintre]

I didn't choose this, but I will ride this out to the conclusion. I look at my sisters and I used to think I wish I were one of them...but....after dealing with their problems, I am just glad to be me.

[Ema1234 GG]

From a scientific point of view all personality traits such as crossdressing are a combination of both your environment and your genetic predisposition. I.e. nature vs nuture so it's not possible to say it's definately one or the other.

Basically, it's likely the average crossdresser was genetically predisposed to crossdressing but something in your environment is likely to have triggered it. None of us are hardwired at birth to be the people we become. It's a mixture.

Sorry to tread on what I believe will be many toes, but the only thing that can be seen as only "nature" are physical traits such as your eye colour.

How this works in practise is another matter, and surely the only thing that is important is what the individual believes. Afterall, does it really matter if it was nature, nurture, or both?

[SweetCaroline]

I long since given up looking for a reason. I just accept that "Caroline" is a big part of who I am. When I was five years old, I put on my sister's night gown one Sunday morning. I wanted to wear it. No one forced me too. Not only that but I felt different with the nightgown on. I don't know how to describe it, but I liked it enough to spend the rest of my childhood wanting to wear girls clothing.

I'm also an artist, and spent most of my life drawing and painting and designing. You don't ask an artist why he paints. He just does. He needs to. His very person depends on it. Some say we are born with talent. Maybe maybe not. But trust me it takes a lot of hard work to develop that talent and order to turn it into a work of art. It takes a lot of time, money and effort and there's no promise that you'll get anything in return out of it but that's not the goal. Same with me and dressing.

Sorry. Long. Just my take on it.

[CaptLex]

You may as well ask me why I chose to have brown eyes, Bev. :happy:

[Deborah Jane]

I don,t think we choose to be this way!!
I doubt any of us choose it!! I think the choice we make is whether to accept it or not.
I tried not accepting and it made me unhappy, so now i,ve chosen to accept it and see where it leads!!

[Nicki B]

From a scientific point of view all personality traits such as crossdressing are a combination of both your environment and your genetic predisposition. I.e. nature vs nuture so it's not possible to say it's definately one or the other.

So... is being left-handed a personality trait? :strugglin

I agree the expression of one's GD is likely to be down to one's socialisation, but I don't think anyone can say atm the original dysphoria is not one's nature..

[Niya W]

the clothes are external. they reflect my mind thought and who I am. As a women I suppose to wear womens clothes

[JessieB]

Well, I initially chose to experiment because it was exciting and a turn-on. Of course, there had to be some reason why I was aroused by it, but that's another subject. Once my dressing progressed to a certain level and I began interacting with other people a little bit, I discovered that the fem side of me (which I had only suspected on some subconscious level) is real.

[Kathleen Ann Trees]

Nature vs. nurture is a very complex model. My belief is there are genes and body chemistries that give me my sexual self perception. This is supported by the fact that I cannot control thoughts and desires? But my behaviour has also reinforced this perspective and given it a reality.

Kathleen Ann

[theresa]

I'm often curious why I am the way I am because it appears to be different from the "norm", if there really is such a thing. Regardless, I'm very happy with the way I was built and honestly wouldn't want to be any other way.

[Kate Simmons]

Actually, I did but that's a story for another time.:happy:

[Linda C]

Good question - If my sister never dressed me would I dress today? I hate and love her for doing this to me - If she ever busted me dressing I would have to say to her - this is your doing!!!Or is it?? Who knows.. All I can say is - I am loving it right now..

[kerrianna]

Actually, I did but that's a story for another time.:happy:

Ha ha, Sal!

Getting back to the source again. :happy:


Actually the lighting was pretty dim, and the fine print was pretty small, so when I made that 'choice' (oh yeah, they kept prodding me to 'get on with it!') I was misled and under duress.

I intend to file a complaint when I get back.

Totally false advertising. :hmph:

[Kate Simmons]

Er, yeah Kez but I found it very hard to argue with a booming voice in Limbo.:heehee:

[Alice B]

Why did I choose to be a cross dresser? I have no idea. It was just at some point it was something I wanted to try and quickly realized that I completely enjoy the feelings and experience. It is not something I can or want to do every day, although to be dressed for a full 24 hrs is an experience I would like to try. As I write this I'm completely dressed in a dress, boots, wig, forms and full make-up and am loving it. Tonight, when my wife gets home I will be the man she married and will have no regrets.

[KatieC]

The choice I have is to accept who and what I am, or to spend my life feeling guilty, and ashamed, and angry.. :hmmm:

:yt:

Nature, nurture, some combination of the two . . . doesn't really matter a whole lot. I have no control over having the desire to dress. I can only control whether or not I do.

The real choice is what NickiB said -- I can choose to accept myself or I can fight it for the rest of my life and be miserable in so doing.

-KatieC

[KimberlyS]

Nature or Nurture, Why did you choose to be this way?

I was born who I am; physically features, personality, traits, likes and dislikes, all of who I am. Nurture can influence, tweak and change these to a point which is different for each one of us.

It is society and people that categorize, group and label everything so they can better deal and relate.

:2c:

[Cai]

The choice I have is to accept who and what I am, or to spend my life feeling guilty, and ashamed, and angry.. :hmmm:

:yt:

Choice: live as me, or die.

[LindaTS]

I for one happen to be a TS. This is not something I chose to be but this is the way I was born. I suppose all of us, including CD's, just have to learn how to deal with it. I can't imagine someone waking up one morning and say "Hey, I think I'll be a tranny and to heck with the way society feels about it". Most people just don't do things like that.

[franvonceder]

I never chose to be a CDer it just happened many years ago. I did not read about it or know anyone and in those days it certainly did not appear on cinema or TV (not in my experience). I've purged many times but something happens to restart it again.

Love Fran.

[sadsteph]

choose .... lol what choice ..... I didnt get to choose

[Patrice]

Quick simple answer with a lot of depth hiding in the shadows - I choose to CD because it helps bring me balance and contentment. I dont have to, Im not compelled to, if I so chose I could make it through my life never letting that gremlin out of its cage. But that wouldnt be to my benefit, just so I could fit in with 'normal' (god I hate that word) folks. So I do it.

[shirley1]

i have always slanted towards the nurture opinion - i dont believe men and women are that different - males and females arnt born with mascilinity or femininity its installed in us from an early age before we even have any control over who we are as people - its society that dictates to most of us - most people just follow the norm of society whether they agree with it or not - its easier to conform than be different ! a lot of people wear masks to cover up the real person they really are just to conform with society - only the very brave or those who have a real need to break from the norm do anything to about it - its sad really but i wonder just how many people go through their lives never really being true to themselves - especially guys as i do think women have it easier in todays society - the pendulime has swung in womens favour - it amazes me how many women just tar all men with the same brush (i work with ggs) a lot of them think men are all the same - maybe we as cders need to educate them and men also to realise men can be just as diverse as women can - and then maybe eventually people will realise it isnt what gender you are that makes you who you are as a person but who you are inside !

[Ema1234 GG]

So... is being left-handed a personality trait? :strugglin

Nope, it's likely that everyone is genetically predisposed to being either left or right handed, but choices made through your environment as a young child will dictate whether you learn to write with your left or right hand.



I agree the expression of one's GD is likely to be down to one's socialisation, but I don't think anyone can say atm the original dysphoria is not one's nature..

As I said, it is neither one nor the other. It's likely to be a combination of BOTH that lead to the crossdressing many of your experience as adults. No one can say what it is, but I very much doubt it's either one or the other. Very few things are that cut and dry, most are a combination to a lesser or greater degree.


And I also think many of you are confusing what "nurture" is. When people refer to nature vs. nuture they actually mean what influence your genetic make up has one you vs what influence your environment has had on you. When people refer to the "nurture" side, it doesn't mean that you necessarily had a choice in it. It refers to how your environment influenced you during your development.

It may well be that the desire to crossdress is innate, but the actual expression of crossdressing is a learnt behaviour. Who knows? I certainly don't, I can only make assumptions based upon my knowledge of other behavioural traits.

I think it would be also very interesting to see whether the rare conditions of XX males and XY females ever have an influence on crossdressing and whether a significant proportion of those with the condition crossdress.

[nervousguy]

Sorry but you can't have it both ways - either you were "made that way" or not - but then you cannot say you "chose to be that way" - Me, ? I belive I was made to be a lesbian trapped in a man's body - I don't think anyone would actually chose that --- or would they?

[Desiree Gold]

Hi :happy: think maybe Ema is correct. Crossdressers are genetically predisposed to crossdressing but something(s) in our environment/background is likely to have triggered it. Isn't it GREAT!:love:

[Angie G]

I didn't choose to do this it's just there And I love it :hugs:
Angie

[Vicky_Scot]

How many times have I heard the Question...

Why did you choose to be this way?

What is your feeling on this? What do you think?:daydreaming:

I personally believe the Creator of the Universe made me this way.
It was not a choice.
It is how I was wired.

Et vous?

Bev

I agree. IMO we are born as a crossdresser and that it is predetermined in the womb as is the colour of our hair , eyes etc.


The choice I have is to accept who and what I am, or to spend my life feeling guilty, and ashamed, and angry.. :hmmm:


I didn't choose to feel this way but I'm making the choice to finally accept it.

The above posts are spot on. We can deny who we are or accept it.


choose .... lol what choice ..... I didnt get to choose

So very true Steph.

Xx Vicky xX

[Bexles]

I personally feel like someone messed up my DNA... my body seems missmatched, some parts of me are very masculine whilst other parts are very feminine. For instance my chest and back are almost naturally hair free, I have an hourglass figure and very long, slender fingers. My legs are however extremely hairy, as are my arms and I have a very masculine chin. My eyes however are also quite feminine in appearance.

I think growing up feeling like that is part of why I spend part of my life as a woman and other parts of it as a man. I don't feel like I ever want to be fully one or the other.

[Mary Morgan]

I too believe that this is nature, and not nurture. My reason is that I am a granparent for the first time and babysit my grandaughter regularly. It seems that at least 1000 times a day someone will say to her, "good girl" or "pretty girl", etc. and I cannot imagine her not living up to that role unless there is a genetic detour.

[Bev]

Upon reading all of your thoughtful and thought provoking opinions, "no choice" surfaces in my mind.

Yes sweetheart, I recall all the episodes of StarGate (SG1) where Jack O'Neil looks at the rest of the team and sullenly says, "No choice...Eh?" And they all shake their heads nope... Great comic moments... And soooo appropriate.

And I thought I had a vote on this.

Silly Girl.
Bev

[Melissa-M]

I remember when I was young in kindergarten that the girl would walk around the play ground playing a game it was WHO WANTS TO SEE A PITCHER it was usually about 3 girls and if you sead yes than they would stop and do a little dance I just wonted to do that so i got a group together boys not girls that didn't mater as long as I was playing girls games I all so love skipping and Jakes but I didn't play them as much as I would have liked as I thirty that i would get teased so as to do i think that we come out this way I believe YES

[ChanDelle]

Seems like if I made a choice it was so subtle I didn't realize it. Could so subltle a choice have so much impact? Wish I really knew what causes this yearning and drive. So all theories are equally valid at this point I think. Other than "just because we've decided to be" as I've heard ignorant/bigots folks say about being gay.

ChanDelle

[caitlin]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicki B
The choice I have is to accept who and what I am, or to spend my life feeling guilty, and ashamed, and angry..

I agree with Nicki B, and several others...I have been struggling with this quite a bit lately...the Who am I ? or What am I? questions...
sometimes it gets extremely difficult to be here...I love my male me also, yet I want Katie to blossom...we go through the stages and sometimes it feels as if the female side starts getting more time...I act a bit more like Katie. Being an RN it can be easy at work because nursing has traditionally been a female occupation.
Then one day the male me is the strong one and I think, Thank God that is over...now I can get on with life...I will just purge (again) and it will be all over...I won't have anything here to tempt me....HA!

...truth is....I believe I am Katie also...I need to accept this daily...

I could go on...

Katie (aka Caitlin)

[jennifer41356]

I thank God or whoever is the higher being for being like this, I have gotten to experience so much of what the female side is like and to be more in tune with them, I love everything about the female gender:love::love:

[chrissietoo]

didn't choose, just am, and it feels right. :happy:

[Babette]

I don't recall making a conscious choice one day and adding this element to my life. I was born this way and I am thankful for that. I haven't always felt so positive. There was a time I thought, as some of you may have, that it was an affliction or something of a curse. It took me a while to get over that feeling. Now that I have, its not just OK. Acceptance adds to my peace of mind.

Babette

[Dalece]

I am what I am either except me as I am or don't as far as gay I have gay and lesbian friends and married. My Lesbian friends Except me as one of the girls. my male gay friends except me as a girl. I'm happy where I'm at right now the future could change for me.

[Katie Ashe]

Heard it many time here too, from everyone. I was born this way, at age 4 I was a girl, and raised boy. I choose to stop hiding in fear at age 29, and came out for better and worse.

[SusanMarie]

I do not choose...
I accept!

[lauraletsrock]

It's not a choice -- we are born this way. The choices are whether to hide our nature, or express it.

[VtVicky]

Nature vs. Nurture has been debated for years in the behavioral sciences community. Most of us have come down on the side that says most male homosexuality is nature and effeminate behavior is nurture. There are plenty of very masculine gay men and effeminate straight men.

So, I think if we are to get anywhere with this discussion we need to distinguish between gender dysphoria and fetishistic CDing. Although there are components of socialization in some gender dysphoria, (ex: sisters getting special treatment over brothers; dominant mothers; over expectations layed on boys regarding sports, etc.), most of the comments supporting the "nature" argument seem to sugggest an inborn sense of dissatisfaction with the plumbing nature provided us.

On the "nurture" side of the argument we find examples of behavioral conditioning occuring during sensitive development periods of our lives.

At the risk of over simplifying things, let's consider 2 types of conditioning. The first is conditioning that occurs without our knowledge or participation. (Classical or Pavlovian Conditioning) If a neutral object is repeatedly presented to us at the same time as something that ellicts a positive reaction, that previously neutral object takes on the same importance as the positive object or situation. (Yes, it can also work with negative stimuli.) If we become aware of womens shoes, for example, during a sexualy arousing incident, and that pairing of the shoes and the arousal occurs enough times, the shoes become sexually arousing. (Pavlov's salivating dog's) Those of us who discovered women's underwear while going through puberty generally fall into this catagory.

The second type of condition is called Operant Conditioning. In it we find a reward following a particular behavior tends to encourage the repitition of that behavior. If wearing my sisters dresses gets my mom to give me more attention, or allows me to feel as special as I believe my parents are treating her, then I'm likely to continue that behavior.

While gender dysphoria of the "nature" type can be seen in very young children with little evidence of any conditioning, the onset of CDing occuring at the same time as puberty generally suggests some elements of conditioning. And therefore "nurture".

Obvioulsy, we are all unique individuals. However, there are enough similarities in our collective experiences to suggest the general validity of these theories. And, of course, the infinite variation of what we have been exposed to in each of our developmetal experiences makes for an infinate number of variations on the theme.

[Fab Karen]

why did some people "choose" to enjoy the taste of broccoli?

[Stephanie Anne]

Oh I think I like the words gender blend now!

I don't feel I choose this one way or the other. That is like saying, why did you choose to be happy instead of gun to the mouth sad?

And honestly why even care if we chose this because we have a hang up over mommy issues, we got hurt in the soul as a kid or we just happen to fancy the other side of the street and there is not a thing wrong with us?

Most trans related situations are probably nurture or lack there of. nature of course accounts for an affinity toward one direction over the other.

If there was no social gender roles everyone would be in drag and the only things gender specific would be related to functionality. Since that is not the case and we live in a gender run world, why bother at all, if your mind goes to the other side, why fight your body following?

[marny]

Ty. Seems unaminous. It is not a choice, We are who we are.

[Ema1234 GG]

VtVicky I am in awe. Someone else who actually knows what the nature vs. nurture debate is really about. Your post is insightful and very interesting to read. :thumbsup:

(I'm also guessing that you, like me, are from a behavioural science background. Either that or you have a very large interest in the development or behavioural traits!)

I doubt anyone will listen though, everyone still seems to think the nature vs. nurture debate is about choice, for the third and final time, choice (in the way it is being discussed in this post) does not come into the nature vs. nurture debate. :rolleyes:

[trannie T]

One is born to be a crossdresser.
One chooses to be a lumberjack.

[Carly D.]

I haven't a clue why this happened to me or even how or why or anything therein.. what I do know is that things could have been worse, I could have obsessed about drugs or been a thief or a mechanic.. but, (just a joke there, it should have said a lawyer) instead I became a crossdresser.. I think one day after being home sick from school that I got bored and went into my mom and dads bedroom and started to go through my moms clothes and tried them on again after trying them on when I was a preschooler and again it felt good and again I got hooked only this time I stayed on the hook... and now some forty years later I am... Carly.. sometimes...

[Mitch23]

because mitch is very beautiful and i love to be her

mitch