Shopping en drab with no apologies, excuses

[megan163]

I was in a Ross yesterday browsing shoes and tried on some pumps in a "discreet corner" with mens shoes around me as cover. Well, it was like fate that three times people including one GG catch me in the act. At first, I reacted self-consciously. Then I caught myself...what is the big deal? So with new confidence I slip on another pair and walked the aisle. I didn't buy the shoes but did get a nice BCBG dress. Anyone else make the leap (heels and all:happy:) from bashful to confident shopper? I don't think it makes me an exhibitionist to shop openly in drab.

[Nadia-Maria]

I don't think it makes me an exhibitionist to shop openly in drab.


I do think so. I use to shop in drab too (skirts, dresses, tops, make-up, undies), however I choose carefully the shops to go. I would not shop in drab anywhere.
Buying heels is a real problem : I cannot shop for heels in a standard shop, because of my foot size. Hence I order by internet. I might go in a specialized shop for trannies in the future.

Higs

Nadia


I do think so.


Maybe the meaning was unclear.
I meant : I think just as you.

[joann07]

I'm with you on that one girl.
I have no problems shopping in drab, although the majority of the time I'm shopping in femme.
I've been to Victoria's Secret and if I can go there to buy panties, bras, and sleepwear without feeling nervous whatsoever, then I can shop pretty much anywhere.

Hugs!

[Sonia Kiss]

...Anyone else make the leap (heels and all:happy:) from bashful to confident shopper? I don't think it makes me an exhibitionist to shop openly in drab.

Hi Megan,

I did this for several months when I was transitioning from living as a man to living as a woman. I highly recommend it to anyone! I found that when I shopped like a woman, I was treated as a woman, even if my presentation was completely that of a man. This is a good thing! Women would chat me up, ask my opinion about purchases they were considering, and freely offer compliments about my selections.

Sonia

[Nicole Erin]

I get a little nervous about trying on heels in drab.
Anything else I could care less, I just go in and find what I cannot live without

[Eugenie]

I've been going shopping in Drab mode for quite a few years. For some reasons it was never a problem for me. However, it was only recently that I started asking to try on clothes or shoes in the shops.

I never had any negative feedback from the sales attendants or the shop keepers.

In fact most of them became even more helpful when I told them: "It's for me".

And, of course, I didn't feel bad at all.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Samantha B L]

Practically all the shopping for fem items I ever did was in drab. A few times it was done semi-en fem. I began shopping for myself a couple of years after high school in the seventies. But I would make a lot of excuses for myself to the store employees all about how"it's a present for my Mom,my Sister,My Aunt,My Girlfreind",etc.and visa versa. I never stopped to think that department stores,malls,shopping centers get lots of TG/TS/CD customers and that the sales associates were glad to get their commision and couldn't care less about this guy's hokey stories!

When I was 22 or 23 a GG freind would take me shopping sometimes and I would cling to her,you could say,and beg her to"tell the sales associates and clerks that the stuff is for you just in case they know my family from somewhere" This GG finally got mad at me one day and told me I didn't need cover stories when I shopped and to just be confident and buy what I wanted! Actually,we were still freinds after that but it was just the slight push that I needed.

[Angie G]

Hay you go girl :hugs:
Angie

[Roberta Rain]

:happy:
I used to be completely embarrased to shop en-drab, but I've gotten more and more comfortable with it over time. The first time I ever picked up a skirt and decided I was actually going to try it on in a dressing room and see if it fit before buying it and taking it home, I think my heart was beating about a mile a minute with fear. I was sweating, red in the face, and convinced that someone was going to scream or start yelling or something. As I stepped up to the door of the dressing room, clearly holding a full length skirt, a guy stepped in to the aisle and looked straight at me. I panicked and froze, expecting the worst, and remembering, even though I'm now an adult 6'1 200lb multiple black belt, all of the many, many days I had my face shoved in the dirt as a kid while someone hit me and called me a pansy or fag. He looked from the skirt up to my face and back to the skirt. My heart hammered in my chest. I couldn't swallow. His expression showed nothing but a slight surprise and curiosity. Then with the slightest of imperceptible nods, he turned and went back to shopping. God bless him. I went in to the dressing room and tried on the skirt. Every time afterwards got easier. Since then I've been in quite a few dressing rooms, openly shopped for a ball dress or three, and walked up and down aisles in heels to try them out. I figure, now, that if someone responds to my actions or even just watches them, I am going to remain confident and positive. After all, I'm an ambassador, like all of the rest of us, and doing my part to pave the way for every other person out there who doesn't fit the norm. Thank goodness my wife is pretty supportive.

[jennifer41356]

what Joann07 said.....:love:

[laceyjessica]

been there the past week have gone into stores in drab announced when sa approached me that the outfit i was looking for was for me, and had no aprehension asking to try it on

[DanaCDnTN]

Great story Roberta!

[suspender]

roberta. sad to hear about the past but, your overcoming of that is inspirational. i have done the same with the heels in a corner and only to be caught, particularly when the partner of some women has had a go at you because of the colour of the polish on the toe nails (and the fact that you you are a guy wearing heals).

[kathy001]

Roberta and others, great inspirational stories! BUT there are some of us who WILL NEVER EVER try on women's clothes in store fitting rooms...period!!
If for some mythical reason all stores demanded a fitting before purchase and there was no mail order...well this hobby of mine would be forced to an abrupt end. The male in me just wouldn't permit it.

I envy you all for having the balls (or is it ovaries) to do that!

[trannie T]

When I go shopping I look for the bi sign that says "No Crossdressers Allowed." If there is none posted I go ahead and look at the merchandise and buy things. My money spends as well as anyone else's.

[Lucypink]

I was shopping today at a mall, first I saw a pair of black closed heals that I had been looking all arround the Mall, I was shure they will fit, but had a very hard feeling to try them in the store. There was few people in so I decided to come back later, so I did and now the store was almost packed, so no, not yet in drab, didn't had the courage.
But I did it in Feme once and was Great, couldn't find a shoe that fitted but the experience was awsome!!!

[waspookie6]

Strange but true, no one really cares. :happy:

Got to Nordstrom's big sale day before DH and began shopping around. Obvious the sizes I chose were too big for me then he showed up. We went through rack after rack looking for this or that (at up to 75% off it's tough to chose!) and he was in full drab, hadn't even had time to shave. No one made a comment or glance sideways. The only problem so to speak were the changing rooms - only allowed 5 items at a time and we had about 15. He did the talking, "my wife is great at putting outfits together but I don't know if they will fit, can she stand outside the door and hand me another after I hand her something back?". It could have been I had that look of "oh for cryin out loud! its a SALE! everyone has more that 5 items!", or what he said or both.

Either way the Garment Guard let us to the changing rooms with everything we chose and never said a word to another gg. He even stepped out for the ones that really looked good!

He's gone back on his own in drab and the same cashier always calls him over to her counter, making sure he didn't miss something she knows is on sale but on back racks. Not even GG's care. Go figure and Go Shopping! :happy:

[Dana_38]

Underdressing is the extent of my public crossdressing. So, except for the undergarments, my shopping is always in drab (and is so far confined to lingerie in its various forms.) I have no problem whatever, although I have yet to try to go into a fitting room to try anything on.

I started shopping for women's clothing after high school, and at first was very nervous in the lingerie departments. Finally, I learned to ignore the occasional glance or stare, and became comfortable dealing with sales clerks without pretending I was buying for a wife or gf.

Now, when lingerie shopping, I'm comfortable wearing a bra and breastforms under a shirt that is somewhat revealing of the breast projection and back straps. Leaves no doubt that, although I'm in drab, I'm shopping for myself.

[BETH H]

it's the rare cd who the first time buying goes charging in gets what she want's then off to dressing room's for me it was what seemed like years before I started trying clothes on was more embarising retuning the wrong size I don't shop enfemme just bra and panties under drab now some of the sa reconize me help me find clothes then off to mens dressing room then they take my money and were both happy

beth

[TxKimberly]

Well, yes and no. I do a LOT of shopping drab and no longer give a care who sees me looking at what. Unlike you though, I do NOT have the courage to try it on right there in front of everyone

[Alaceann]

I do all my shopping in drab with no problems. I just have never tryed anything on in the store. I just go home and then if it dosn't fit I'll just take it back and that gives me a chance to do some more shopping.:happy:

[mylilsecret8]

I shop in male mode or uni-sex mode all the time. Most of the time I'm asked "what size is she" and always answer that I'm shopping for myself. I never run into any problems and most stores don't hesitate if I ask to try things on. Surprisingly, shopping for lingerie used to be a little intimidating for me but lately I am comfortable telling the sales women that I'm shopping for panties for myself and it is somewhat liberating to me.

Trying on heels can be a little more tricky and I do try them on in the open but do feel a little more anxiety if there are genetic males near by.

[Wendy me]

i understand but don't get it when people have issues with a GM in drab shopping for women's things ... i never had trouble and always talked to who ever was around .... shopping is sposta be fun............

[shirley1]

i have only ever shopped in drab - got used to it but never tried anything on - now i've got on the net buy most things online - luckily i know my size - would love to dress and shop maybe i will soon - but shoes are the one thing i think it would be an advantage to try on before buying as they tend to vary in size from shop to shop - the trouble with shoe shops certainly in england is you dont get a changing room so you would literally have to walk around the shop in front of people - i would find it difficult in drab

[KeriB]

I got a little uptight about this, but hey, you know what? It's my money and whose business is it how I spend it?? Two weeks ago I was in Bob's buying a nice DKNY skirt and sweater and who comes behind me but the gal who works at the local bagel shop I've been going to for years... made some small-talk and that was that. It just takes getting used to to cruise through the women's section, especially if you're not certain of exactly what you want. Tonight, however, wife told me we need to shop New York & Co.... support yeah!

[Fab Karen]

I shop for girly stuff all the time in boy-mode. Always try on heels before buying ( just often roll my pants up a bit to have a better view of how they look on me ) there's nothing like the satisfaction of going in to a store, finding what you like in your size, and after trying them being able to own them right then.
And I have bought lingerie before in a dept. store. No big deal, JUST DO IT.
Of course, as I was telling Tiff the other night, there once was a time when I would nervously wait til near closing at a THRIFT STORE & then quickly grab an item if "nobody was looking":heehee:
Do what Nike says: JUST DO IT.

[Sallee]

I have shopped in drab occaisionally and tried things on and I will. Now I kind of like to shop in dress and use the dressing rooms and all. I do remember running into a work mate shopping in Ross I had several skirts in hand and he asked if I had daughters. I do
I haven't shopped for shoes in femm yet

[teresa jeen]

on a majority of threads liks this, female s/a's help out with no problem. is it me or isnt that one of the attributes we look for and desire!

[Farrah]

I enjoy shopping n drab. I just love telling the SA that it for me. They really help when i say that. I think it kinda turns some of them on, being able to dress up a man.

[audrey-lynn]

I do most of my shopping partly dress. I'll be completly undressed and usually have on a blouse. So there is no denying I'm a crossdresser. I have also done alot of shopping totally in drab to include using the fitting rooms. I love going to Dress Barn because they accept you no matter how your dressed.

[bobbie anne]

I have tried on heels in WalMart. No big deal

[Lisa Golightly]

Been shopping in the lingerie department dressed as a boy with a 'proper' boy in toe... He looked a bit sheepish tbh.

[susan2010]

I've only ever shopped in drab. I used to be so nervous, but after a few times, I learned most SAs and cashiers don't really care. I'm usually not too scared if I'm in another town, but I'll always go to a female cashier at a place like Kohls or Sears. I'm not sure what they think when I buy a few pair of size 9 panties on clearance sale. But I just go ahead and lay 'em on the counter and give 'em the cash. First time I tried on a dress was at Dress Barn, and the staff was very good. Dress Barn has always been a supportive place. They'll put you in a dressing room in the back sometimes, bring you things, give advice, and are generally kind.

[DKA]

Today me and a friend went to Payless and i tried on a bunch of shoes (I also had PINK socks on) so there was NOOOOO hiding it, I was also wearing a water bra so i had a chest to show.....but i was wearing male clothes on the outside....we ended up buying a pair for me.

Then we went to Goodwill and i tried on 5 pair of pants and ended up buying 4 pair of them....lol

[JoAnnDallas]

I once bought a whole outfit while in drab. Even had a SA help me and make suggestions, like new shoes and jewlely to go with the new outfit.
I have now found that most SA's don't care who your buying for.

[fay]

Starting out I've used charity shops for several reasons. Partly to get a handle on sizes, the feel of fabrics and fit etc. Also discovered that liking how something looks doesn't necessarily mean you feel comfortable in it. Assistants seem happy to move the stock out or they make a quip and I come back with one in good humour.

I've only bought two pairs of new shoes so far and the female assistants were perfectly fine and I was prompted to try the second pair on by the lady as she said they varied a bit and she would get me another pair to try if they didn't fit.

[Jessie J]

This has been/is the hardest part for me right now. I'm just now starting to crossdress and embrace the feelings I've had for who knows how long and welcome it. However I've not gone nearly as deep into it as I would like for due to the embarrassment I get when just thinking of walking into the makeup and womans sections when I go out to the stores. Thankfuly there is the enternet, but at some point I'd like to be man/woman enough to shop those departments. I'm just too self cautious about myself :sad:

[Deanna2]

I've tried on shoes in Payless when I've been in drab. Also done it in Kmart. If I have been 'caught' I figure it is the catcher's problem. As the catchee I couldn't care less.

[TerriM]

I dont get out that much (1x a month on the average) so I like to make a full day of it. That usually includes shopping. I love browsing the racks enfemme and trying things on. I have also shopped in drab when I cant get out dressed and need something for a upcoming event. I can remember how nervous I would be and how I would tell the sales person it was for my wife or sister. But confidence and being able to feel relaxed comes with time. But there is always a certain feeling of excitement when you I shop both enfemme and in drab.

Yours Terri

[Kayla_CD]

I've done all the excuses when shopping as a man: "It's my girlfriend's birthday," a fancy dress party, Halloween. But when I've told a clerk it's for me they've always been helpful and I've come away with new ideas, new outfits, and a real sense of acceptance. The first time I was open with a clerk was at an adult novelty store. I got some lingerie. The clerk was totally nice and very open-minded. I think they see a lot more than someone at The Bay.

[Melissa A.]

Shopping for anything in drab should not be a problem for anyone, ever. I've only ever heard one or two bad stories here, and those were easily preventable. If shopping fills you with anxiety and dread, then why do it? Yeah I know, cause ya need the stuff! Just remember, you're the consumer and have the right to buy whatever ya want. An employee is pretty much never, ever gonna give you a hard time. And who the heck cares what they think, anyway? Other shoppers really don't care. Most people can't see six inches past their own lives. I suppose teens might notice and think it's funny. But they're kids. Again, who freaking cares? Shopping enfemme is so much more fun for me, But I only do it occasionally, only because I'm still a little bit self-conscious about my voice. But that really is about being out dressed, and not about shopping. You should be able to buy what ya want, any time, anywhere. And Have fun!

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I shop fully dressed most of the time but I am a huge shoe nut so whenever I pass a shoe store that I want to check out I will stop and in most cases I will buy at least a pair of shoes. I would never not try them on, that is part of the fun of shopping. I will always walk around the store to check the fit and feel and who really cares what anyone thinks about a man in heels. I have gone into womans dressing rooms fully en drab and tried on clothes and have asked sales clerks to either please get me the next size up or down for a particular outfit. Life is way to short to worry and 99.9 % of everything you worry about will never happen and the rest you won't be able to do anything about anyway.

[Jessica S]

I always shop drab. Never had a problem. I get comments like" that's pretty or thats shoe has a strong heel" with a smile, nothing ill willed. I shop at all the department stores: JC Penny, Sears, Kohls, Macy and so on. They want your money and don't care who it is for.

[jessielee]

"i prefer to reason there are always possibilities."
mr. spock

yeahm baby!
shop till you drop!
and leave 'em slack jawed at your happiness and confidence!
yummy shoes are worth it.
hugs,
jessie

[pamela_a]

Maybe it's just my DILLIGAF* attitude but I very quickly got over any reservations about shopping for lingerie or clothes. Every SA that has helped me has known it was for me and they have been very helpful. Perhaps it was one of my first experiences that helped me most.
Before my wardrobe transformed from a male to a female one I was in Lane Bryant looking for some panties. Since they size by pants size I had to ask the SA what size would equate to a size 8 panty. She asked if knew what size pants "she" wore. I gulped and told her I didn't know, they are for me. She smiled a warm smile, estimated my size, then spent about 10 min with me picking out panties for me. After we had about 10 she escorted me to the fitting room to try them on.

Ever since then I decided there is no reason to be shy about what I'm buying or the fact it's for me. This confidence, combined with my wife's propensity to buy something then try it on at home (usually resulting in my having to return/exchange it), is also the main reason I will try on anything that I'm not sure will fit me. Perhaps I've just been fortunate but I don't recall ever having any problems shopping or trying things on.

My advice (pass the salt please) is to just go out and enjoy shopping. Browse and buy with confidence.


*for those of you who are wondering:
Do I Look Like I Give A F**k

Hugs to all

-Paula-

[Wenda]

I have never shopped while completely dressed, usually completely en drab. The only discomfort I can recall was that of a young male attendant giving me three tags for skirts when I went to the men's change rooms. w.

[Marybeth_1966]

I would like to share a shopping story with everyone. Guess you can chalk it up to the fact that I am new to the site. Such liberation to actually talk about these experiences!

I love to shop--and their is no better time than the holidays or easter to be a man in the womans department. I have shopped for my wife and myself for years. I've gotten past the fear of shopping in the womans department years ago. Maybe it has been the years of experience or just a sense of so what. What I have found lately is that shopping is maybe not enough. Lately I have become less stelth about trying to see how long a skirt or pants would fall on me. Or maybe how a jacket or coat would fit. I'm always in drab. I try to find a back corner of the department if I want to try on a coat or jacket. If it is a skirt then I try and just look for the coast to be clear and hold it up to myself. I feel an incredable rush from this experience! I do not make myself an sideshow. My goal is really to see if the clothing will fit--I'm not trying to get attention--really. In the processs I sometimes get caught by a customer or a salesperson. Generally it results to eyes raised to the sky or a gentle smile--I love that when it happens. I remember searching for pantyhose not willing to grab the first package that I found and rushing to the counter. Two young girls seem to know that my interest was greater than normal and provided knowing smiles.

In my last outing I stopped at a major department store with a big red star. I was looking at formal dresses and the salesperson said "I guess I dont have to start a dressing room for you" I dont know what triggered my response but I said "guess not cause I have not found anything that I want to try on" with a sarcastic smile. She was thrown. She then asked if I was looking for an outfit for a sepcial occasion. I answered that the occasion generally comes from the outfit and kept looking and touching the long dresses. She responded with if I had a color preference. I said in a half joking response that I needed to find a dress to go with a pair of black velvet heals that I just purchased. Without missing a beat she pulled the most wonderful dress off of the rack and said that she bought the same dress last week. The price was less than the cost of the fabric. She said that I was welcome to try it on--store was slow--no one in the dressing rooms. I froze but after looking at the dress I said I are you sure? She said yes and asked how high my heel was on my shoes. I said probably 3 inches and the next thing I know I was lead to the dressing room with her carrying the dress. I had on pretty underthings on which is not uncommon when I shop. The dress was like a magnet. I went in in drab and she floated outside to make sure that I was alone. I was shaking trying on the dress. My ead was buzzing. The dress fit perfect. She came back and asked how I was doing and asked if I wanted to step out onto the platform to look in the mirror. I was not ready for that although I really wanted to. I bought the dress and got such nice complements from her on my taste. She told me all about the function that she wore the dress to and the complements she got. OMG I have shpped for years but never expereiece this level of personal connection.

I left with my new formed confidence and purchased the shoes that I discribed in the shoe department of the same store carrying my dress in a large dress hanger bag!--same thing--no bias.

I've been shoppoing for womens clothes for almost 15 years and I honestly believe that the sales staff has never been more accepting than they are now! I hope this may inspire anyone who is shy in finding their dream outfit to push aside thier fears and realize that every salesperson wants to see that smile on a customers face regardless of gender.

Has anyone else noticed how approachable salepeople have become? Was it always this way or has the world changed in a positive way for us?


Marybeth_1966 [/FONT]

[ColleenW]

I have to say threads like this are why I'm glad I found site. I've never shopped for any woman's clothes without very strong fears but reading all of these replies makes me want to go out tomorrow and give it a try.

[Kayla Shadows]

Im still new and it makes me nervous but,in the end,I guess I shouldnt be.We have the right to live our own lives.Whatever you do,there is always someone out there whos gonna have a problem with it.Thats their problem not ours

[Amy Hepker]

Oh Ya all the time. I will hold up girl clothes in front of me in any store, why not??? I am proud of who I am.

[sandyb40c]

I always shop in drab, because I would never pass in public. For the past four or five years (I've been buying for about 25 years) I always shop underdressed. I used to make sure that no lines were showing, but now I'm not that worried. I rarely shop in the town where I live, so I'm fairly confident these days.

It's only in the last year that I have been confident enough to try things on in the store fitting room. Now it is all part of the fun. I wish I had had this confidence a long time ago. I really get a kick out of people's reactions, especially as I often have a shaved head and beard, as well as a few tattoos. The most fun is when a store has separate female and male fitting rooms, as I always go to the female one first. Usually there is no problem and I've had a few smiles and winks. The best thing is just to act casual as if you are doing the natural thing. Sometimes I take a camera in with me so I can relive the whole thing later on.

Only once has a shop assistant got stroppy with me. I had a nice white skirt and matching top in a WalMart and the lady tried to tell me I wasn't allowed to take them into the change room, but I managed to persuade her otherwise. I'm glad I did as they were a great fit. I remembered to thank the lady on the way out.

The best reaction was in a Giant Tiger whilst I was waiting for a fitting room to become available in the ladies section. The (younger) lady ahead of me in the line-up kept on looking at the clothes in my hands and then at me with lots of puzzled expressions. I just smiled and waited patiently. She was waiting for someone already trying some things on. She looked like she wanted to say something to me, but just couldn't bring herself to. The room next to her companion became available, so I asked the assistant if I could go in and try my things on. She smiled and held the door open for me as I went in. The lady in the line-up just let her jaw drop. When I came out I thanked the assistant and said everything was a perfect fit. The other lady just looked disgusted and didn't know what to say or do.

I buy most of my shoes at Value Village or Payless. I always make sure I am wearing pantyhose, so that I get a good fit. I have no problem with trying on shoes in either place. At Payless I often ask for another size and will let the assistant help me choose what looks good and what doesn't. Sometimes I get strange questioning looks, but when the assistant sees the pantyhose they usually relaise that I am serious about my purchase and will do what they can to get a sale.

Like I said earlier, I wish I had had this courage and confidence years ago. I love my shopping trips!!!