Escalation

[CandyDarling]

I am one of you. Lifelong. I see my activities escalting and I am concerned. I feel like I'm headed for trouble with my dressing. I know I will never be able to stop but I need to back up, get off it and reduce the levels of makeup and photography and internet time and interfering with work.

I feel I need to purge - get my images off the internet - make it harder for my self to indulge and try to get back to not wanting to look at myself in drag to the point of real interference with my productivity. Bummer.
Really a bummer.

[Kristen Marie]

It's easy to get caught in the "pink fog" but it's so important that you recognize it. It's OK to slow down and to some degree, purge a bit....but with most of us, purging does not last very long. I have way too many pictures, but with each new batch, I remove some old ones....finding what I consider a point of equilibrium. You will find your own comfort level.....

[docrobbysherry]

I REALLY escalated all my CD activities after joining this site last Oct. Everything else was getting neglected while I enjoyed my fantasy female life!

Someone suggested "cold turkey" was the ONLY way to quit. Others said that wouldn't work. That I should go the other way, and submerge myself in my CD world as much as possible. Sort of like curing a kid who is too crazy about ice cream. Buy them a gallon, and tell to eat it all, or as much as they can!

It worked for me for awhile. I dressed so much during the holidays, I had no desire to dress again for nearly a month. However, I've been backsliding again lately! Let me know if u find the answer!

[Sarah Doepner]

Been there, done that, bought the skirt, top and matching belt. Then I went looking for the purse and shoes to go with it all!

It can be difficult to deal with this once you accept yourself as a crossdresser. There are times I've looked at my behavior and see is almost as an addiction. If it is beginning to have a negative impact on your life, you need to get control over it if at all possible. I wish I had words of wisdom, but sometimes it's all I can do to go to work or do the work around the house instead of getting dressed.

If it helps, the strong urge to dress seems to come in waves for me, and eventually the fog clears and I wonder where I've been and who bought all these neat clothes. I hope the tide goes out for you and you can find balance you need to get productive once again. Just don't define balance before you find it. It may be very different from what you may have said it was before this.

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

just my :2c:,,but if its consuming u then maybe its time to go full out and become what ur wanting to back away from, full time cd or full on transition,once again its only my :2c:

and dont purge,,clothes cost to much and there r some things u can NEVER replace...

[Marvina Martian]

Balance is the key to a successful and happy life. Balance in work and in play. Just keep working on attaining balance and you will always be level! :bs:

[Seville]

just my :2c:,,dont purge,,clothes cost to much and there r some things u can NEVER replace...

I've spent too much time and money replacing things that
OTHER people purged for me. Just put the stuff away for
a while...

[alter_3]

I struggle with this as well, I think that each person has a risk level that they accept and need to figure out how to manage this. Backing off is fine if you are feeling that you're going too fast, but don't purge! (We should have a purge-bank so we can undo these - which is inevitable.) I also feel the need to dress goes in waves of several months, so stay with it and try to reach an even keel.

[RobertaFermina]

I feel your fear and worry!

What is working for me is working at remembering what I really love about being a guy, being the guy my girl loves, and doing my guy-job and feeling the joy of being a guy.

This way I am enjoying being a guy, AND a gal.

I'm taking a positive step that pushes me toward being balanced. I don't have to spend any time worrying about doing too much fem stuff, when I am doing enough guy stuff already.

My heart goes out to you, dear.....:hugs:


:rose: Roberta :rose:

[JessieB]

Balance is the key to a successful and happy life. Balance in work and in play. Just keep working on attaining balance and you will always be level! :bs:


I'm taking a positive step that pushes me toward being balanced.Bottom line, this is the best advice you're likely to get on the subject.

[laceyjessica]

i am right there with you. I find myself taking days off to go shopping , staying home from work to get some internet time know one knows about. I just bouth like 20 new outfits 6 pair of shoes bras' panties, everything. I have booked an appointment to get a professional makeover with brand new wig i am going to go out as jessica. I have in the last week brought outfits upto the SA and just came out and ased if i could try things on. Got to wear a pair of flats all evening while shopping. The only thing that scares me is where I am getting my makeover the salon lady is very familiar with cd's and she said i have features of both male and female and she said it will work or it wont but we will have to wait and see after the total transformation.

[Vieja]

In what way are you heading for trouble? Do you have a family that doesn't know? Will it affect your job or some other aspect of your life? How important is dressing for you?

I have lived this life to some extent for about 70 years. Gone the purge route and returned to dressing secretly. It has only really been since I discovered this site that I finally realized that for all these years I have not been unique. For so much of what I read here I can say "been there, done that".

Somewhere along the way I found that I could compartmentalize my life. For the rest of the world I live in guy mode. For myself, when, I can I let the lass come out. I have only been dressed in the presence of another CD once. The forbidden fruit was delicious. If I couldn't dress would I die? Probably not but I really don't see me doing that.

You are the one that must decide how important it is to dress. But you must always be in control. Do not let your life be driven by the need to dress. The advice you seek here may help a bit but remember none of us here can fully appreciate your situation. we don't know enough about your life and the consequences your dressing will have on that life if you continue and if we did our response could still be different from your own.

Vieja

[Kate Simmons]

A lot of it really depends on your outlook Candy. For instance, I'm a guy who likes being a girl who likes being a guy (tomboy). Basically that means I'm just myself and not restricted one way or the other. Clothes are totally my choice and really do not define me. Works for me anyway.:happy:

[deja true]

Candy, for many wonderful, thoughtful threads that are all about this very qustion, the search for balance, check out the past 3 or four started by Salandra. The threads she starts turn out to be the most erudite, intelligent discussions on this subject you will ever read. There's a depth there from many participants that might surprise you if you've just been checking out the lipstick and new dress threads.

These threads, and a few from others, are the philosophical nexus of the forum, I think.

That woman really knows how to get the rest of us thinking about more than the height of our heels and the best razor to use.

Check 'em out.

respect & love ( for self-examination)

deja

[jennifer41356]

I look at it this way, every day that i dont get to spend as a female is a day I lost forever...life is too short for me to concern myself with doing too much as a girl...I already missed 35yrs or so, the the next 25 or so are for me to ne Jennifer as much and as often as i can:2c::D:D:D:love: