Why do I feel so bad?

[Mariah]

I'm feeling soo down today, I don't really know why. I mean I'm feeling horrible. and really it's more than just today it's been all last week too.

I don't know why, I mean all I want to do is sleep and cry. and I can't even do that. I can sleep when I take some meds but not until 10pm (about 1:30min from now). so I'm just laying here on my love seat. looking at this website and trying to nap. but no go I just like remember all the bad times and some of the good times, and it make me like want to cry more. I don't know what to do, I have my therapist appointment tomorrow.

I really don't know why I'm even posting this really. maybe it's because I don't really have anyone to uhm hang with around here, no girl time, going to clubs, shopping ect. all I have to talk to is my family. :( it's soo lonely and beyond chores have nothing to do but sit here. I don't even have cable. have no drive to play games, even gave my gaming rig to my brother because I don't use it anymore.

am I that horrible of a person that no one want's to talk to me irl? I just dont feel good at all. I'm starting to rant a little so I'm going to end this post now.

keris

[Wynter Skye]

wow. I'm so sorry that you feel so alone right now while you're in this difficult period. I would say that the first step is to stop and think about what's really going on and why you're truly so depressed. Self medication isn't the key and even prescribed meds only mask a problem other than a true chemical imbalance. Nothing at all wrong with crying it out. I know just a little while ago I began crying uncontrollably for what seemed to be no reason at all. I wound up talking to one of my girlfriends (transwoman) who has been in my shoes. She told me that I felt trapped which I did. In attempting to cater to other people's idea of me, I worked too hard to satisfy their desire for a certain perception. Doing so of course meant denying the world of my true self who wanted so desparately to be free. I'm not saying this has anything to do with you, but really just to say... we all cry and feel all sorts of ways at times. There's always a reason and there's always someone who cares.

Take care sweets

[AmberTG]

No Keris, you're not a horrible person at all. You're just going through a really tough time right now and it might seem like everyone's turned away from you right now. I used to start feeling that way a lot when I was younger. It's just another side effect of your depression. Hopefully it will pass soon, like bad gas.

[melissaK]

Assuming you're in North America, February after Valentines' day - its still winter - too many cloudy days - days are still too short - trees are all leafless - It can be a hard time to feel happy about life. Hang in there. March is only a week away. Your counsellor is tommorrow (my sessions always seemed to help more on the dreary days). The blues can be chased!

hugs,
'lissa

[Joy Carter]

Here's another one with ya Keris. My only diversion in life is work. And that is out of necessity. Lately the computer is hardly any help keeping my mind off things. But drugs are the worst thing for you. I take them for pain. I can't sleep without them. You get caught up in a cycle, that you can't break and feel even worse. Are you working ? I know about your disappointment at school. Maybe try volunteering or the library is a good place to find some time to fill your time. Do your parents need help at home, doing work around the house ?

Take Care Joy

[Andi]

Keris, so sorry you're in a funk. I have those days too. You can rant to us all you want. This in between situation for me absolutely de-rails me sometimes and I get withdrawn and very depressed so I can identify with your plight a little bit. I hope your therapist Will be helpful today and you will get back to living a happy life. I'm thinking about you and wish you well. :hugs:

[C.J.]

Keris, you're not alone in feeling how you do. I get like that myself at times. Please take care of yourself.

:hugs:

- C.J.

[Teresa Amina]

I too was slipping into a funk the other day. The house project bored me and I wasn't ready to put things on eBay. My renter's didn't pay their rent this month and I had to give them notice to vacate, thus eliminating the bulk of my income for a while. Yup; Down Time. So I sat and grew my breasts a bit and redistributed some fat :D And the hair is always growing (when it's not being electrocuted on my face :devil:)
The worst thing for you is being in limbo, no interests or hobbies apparently. Finding distractions while living with parents or whomever is tough (been there, done that) but there's probably something sitting there waiting for you. The trick is to believe there is a path out of the wilderness. When I was 20 it was similar for me (without the chemical "help"), and it seemed pretty grim at times. But I learned patience, and the clouds eventually parted and I found a way to move on :thumbsup:

[CaptLex]

I think you answered your own question, hon.


maybe it's because I don't really have anyone to uhm hang with around here, no girl time, going to clubs, shopping ect. all I have to talk to is my family. :( it's soo lonely and beyond chores have nothing to do but sit here. I don't even have cable. have no drive to play games

When we can't get out and socialize, it's good to know that we can still come online and interact with others that way. We're open 24/7 and available worldwide, so you know there will always be someone up and around.

Hang in there, Keris. :hugs:

[Felix]

Hi Keris Hun well ya know my story, so I can say I'm with ya Hun on this and sending ya big ((((((((HUGS)))))))) Hope the therapy session went ok sweets keep in touch xx Felix :hugs:

[SirTrey]

Awwww.....Not much I can do but send you a big hug, Babe....but here it is....:hugs::itsok: **Trey**

[GypsyKaren]

Keris, I'll talk with you anytime, I'm always here.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Sharon]

Keris, I'll talk with you anytime, I'm always here.

Karen Starlene :star:

Me too, Keris -- just PM me with a number I can reach you at, and I'll give you a call to just chat and shoot the breeze. Heck, I have all these free minutes on my phone that get wasted every month, that I would be happy to get my money's worth. :happy:

We all have good days and bad days -- plus you're dealing with all the things that you have posted about in your other threads. All I can say is to hang in there, do what is necessary to sort things out, and you will eventually have many more good days than bad. You need to have faith in yourself and find the strength to keep fighting. :hugs:

[Mariah]

Thank you all, and *huggles* back tolex, trey and felix! I'm moving around a little today. Theripy was ok not great, got into descussing my fathers side of the family, kind of off track I thought but it might help her help me.

Sharon, I dont have a phone :( it got discounted. but if you have skype I can talk to you on there.

Keris

[White Neko]

Why dont you download some emulators? You can even download roms for them too. But dont just google search for then - you need recommendations.. or a really really good antivirus on your computer

[Mariah]

I have every emu even the 360 wii and ps3 alpha's and all the roms for every systim made. thanks for the idea. but still don't like feel like doing jack most days.

keris

[White Neko]

Well why not get a pet? ^^ Cats are nice pets to have when you feel lonely, lizards and goldfish too :D

[Mariah]

have a gold fish, and alergic to cats, plus I'm not alowed at my apartment to have any pets.

thanks though :)

keris

[Dalece]

Hi Keris we are all for you Hun just want to give you a big hug. and a shoulder to lean on. I wish I could be there to do that.:love:

[Jamie Parks]

Hi Keris
I too have been going thru hell the past couple of weeks maybe it is the weather here in WVA or maybe it is a combination of weather and everything else I also cant sleep unless I am on meds. I have felt so bad that I even missed my last two therapy apointments, just not enough motovation to do anything(except do my nails that always seems to make me feel a little better but does nothing for my typing lol). I hope you feel better soon

Jamie

[Mariah]

thanks everyone, hey jamie pm me since your in WV mabe we can get together and do something.

keris