A question for all TS, with due respect

[kerrianna]

Actually I have a couple of questions and I'm hoping that people who identify as TS here will be kind enough to answer them as best they can, and that no one will jump in and start kicking dust around because I am SOOOOOO tired of seeing that here and on other T-sites.

I ask these questions respectfully and sincerely, because I am trying to understand better. I want to ask this in my LiveJournal T-Communities, where the dust-ups are nearly daily, but I thought I should start with people I know and trust better. And with a forum that's moderated more closely.

Ok. So I'm still learning about trans stuff, seeing as it's been less than 2 years that I discovered there was actually something happening.

One thing I recognized early on from this site was that there seems to be a seperation between TS people and the rest of the TG world, although in general terms TG seems to be used to encompass and sometimes in the media replace TS. But I always understood it to be seperate. It's why, to this day, because I don't entirely identify with people who ID as TS I don't call myself that, even if that may change at some time.

So first question:
How did you come to identify as TS? Was it self identifying or was it a label that someone else (shrink, etc) gave you?

Okay, the second question I ask because there's a huge reaction across the T lines about the idea of TS being biologically driven and in that sense either labelled a 'disorder' 'illness' 'birth defect' 'HB Syndrome" etc.

I hear a lot of people say they don't consider themselves defective or sick or mentally ill. I understand why they would say that. I don't consider my transness a product of that either.

But having said that, WHAT would you say is responsible for you being TS?

For myself, I haven't got a clue what drives these feelings and my outlook. On my good days I feel like it's a spiritual thing, that it's not tied to biology or psychology or environmental stressors, but that my soul itself has a strong, if not overwhelming and complete, female aspect. But that's kind of airy fairy for most people. I doubt I'll be getting hormone scripts with talk like that. Other than that though, if it's biological, like the hormonal wash theory or something, then that takes us back to that realm of medical science calling it a disorder or abnormality.

Is anyone ok with that? Did you pretend to be ok with it to get what you needed for yourself? How DO you explain being TS?

[Lanore]

I am 56 and cannot remember when I didn't feel female. Labels are labels and when society finds someone different, they come up with a new label. Before I even knew there was a word for who I am, I was. I believe I accepted me long before the world did. That is why I feel so comfortable now. My transsition wasn't a dramatic change. It was slow and it was over my lifetime that I am who I am today. I never felt weird, abnormal or some kind of an outcast. Maybe some see me as a that, but that's their problem. I have more important things to be concerned about. My mind is female but I know somewhere inside is the male part. Besides, I was born both female and male. Other than that little thing down below, which will be gone soon, I know who I am. And if I am happy, the world is just going to have to get used to it.

Lanore

[Miss Tessa]

I believe that transsexuality is a double edged sword. Society treats us bad on the whole making it hard to live if you're TS or any TG.

But ancient American Indians and other cultures believed that TG people were gifted and special. I believe this in my heart but society in general still gives me shit for being me when they know my T.

[GypsyKaren]

One thing I recognized early on from this site was that there seems to be a seperation between TS people and the rest of the TG world

This is something that causes a lot of resentment from CD'ers which I don't understand. I simply don't want to be compared to a CD'er because I'm nothing like them, for me it's my identity and not a part time life style. I risked a lot and worked very hard to get where I'm at today, so why would anyone expect me to be happy about being compared to someone who puts on clothes whenever and sits in their living room or goes to a bar? I'm not looking down on them and resent being told that I do, I'm just pointing out a difference that's obvious to me.


So first question:
How did you come to identify as TS? Was it self identifying or was it a label that someone else (shrink, etc) gave you?

I knew I was a girl when I was a little kid, it's something that's always been with me. It wasn't until 1970 that I saw a magazine article about transsexualism and sex change operations, until then I didn't have a clue about what was going on with me. It took me awhile before I came out as TS to my p-doc, she immediately agreed with me once I did.


WHAT would you say is responsible for you being TS?

I couldn't tell you why I'm right handed instead of left, so who knows? My therapist told me that research now suggests that it's caused by some sort of trauma to the fetus at 5 weeks, but it's just is what it is.


if it's biological, like the hormonal wash theory or something, then that takes us back to that realm of medical science calling it a disorder or abnormality.

I think it's a big mistake to think that, a lot of what shapes us is instilled in the womb, so everything about us would have to be considered a disorder or abnormality with that line of thinking.


Did you pretend to be ok with it to get what you needed for yourself?

No, it took me many years to be OK with it and to get to the point where I was able to go further, and I was honest with my counselors all the way, they would have known if I was lying or making things up.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Teresa Amina]

Self Described. The TS label is a somewhat awkward fit, yet best describes me. Anything with that S-- word in it is going to be sensationalised and seeing the sort of lowlifes who get press coverage as TS can make it an unpleasant label indeed. TG seems to be used for all of us in a "bundling" for political interests, not rational description. But TG isn't quite enough so I guess I'll go with TS.

Your second part seems to be about the "whys" of all this. It just amazes me how people get worked up over what is, essentially, just mechanics. I think Birth Defect is the best Physical description of all this. People are born with various birth defects all the time, and get medical correction.
If we were viewed similarly by society at large it would go much easier on us!
But the true essence of our lives is not physical, but spiritual. As you describe, a feminine soul in a male body (or vice versa for the Guys). The mystery (and only real Why in this) is why we chose to go through this in this life. Part of the whole reincarnation game is forgetting most of what happened in previous "episodes" and all of the "in between" stage.

[Cai]

I'm definitely self-labeled as TS. For myself, (and this is strictly how I identify, I'm not saying this is true for anyone else) I don't mind being both TG and TS. I'm proud of the fact I was raised a woman - it's centuries of strong women fighting to be who they were that allows me to be who I am. I have a gender-variant history that will always be a part of me. I also partly identify as TG because I do make a very feminine man, and I'm okay with that. I have personality traits that aren't strictly masculine, but they're a part of me, and I'm not changing to fit some gender-binary mold.

I'm not a huge fan of the HBS model. There's a couple of reasons for that.
1)I don't have a birth defect - I'm just fine, thank you. I don't like that whole line of (to me) defeatist thinking "It's not my fault, I've got a birth defect" etc.
2) I'm afraid that someday they'll develop a test for TSism, and I won't have it - or there'll be even further division in the TG/TS communities between the "biological" and "mental" TSs and TGs (ie, the ones that have this biological factor and the ones that don't).
3) The birth defect theory is used as a reason why we shouldn't be discriminated against - and it's not a good reason. Discrimination should be illegal, but not because we didn't choose this or can't change - but because there's nothing wrong with what we're doing. There's a big logical difference there.

I don't know why I'm TS. I just am. Things happen. I don't explain it, I just accept it.

[Mean Green Irene]

For most of my life I didn't know what I was or why. I knew that since I was a young boy I loved to dress and that I hated the maleness in me. Finally at age 57 after a suicide attempt, I found a counselor and laid out all my feelings. She asked a number of questions that hit the spot. Then she told me I was TS.

Externally I didn't believe her but internally I knew she was right. She said to take it slow. I did take it slow I accepted the CD aspect but found I needed Hormones.

Then after 2 years I have started transitioning. Yes she told me I was TS but she was right, I just didn't want to accept it at first. I am confident that her saying it did not change the fact.

The company I work for is fairly large while I work closely with about 40 people there are several hundreds that I have never met. I don't like it but they all know my name now. I am the company Tranny. Many have greated me by name. BUT always with the same respect as to a woman.

Irene

[SirTrey]

I would consider Myself both TS and TG...because I think they are basically two terms for the same thing...I am a man in a woman's body, put simply...so choosing terms, to Me, is just semantics....I'm starting T to change the physical aspects to what extent I can...and so I guess since I am doing the physical transition, by some people's definition, I am TS....to Me, it's just a word....and one that I am fine with....As to the question of biology of it, I don't know...I just know I am male on the inside and always have been....why? No idea....but I am going to live My life the best that I can given the rather interesting situation life has placed Me in....and enjoy it to My very best ability! :hugs: **Trey**

[melissaK]

It is NOT a disorder or abnormality. Technically it is a normal biological variant. Calling it a disorder or abnormality infers some type of disability and/or diminishes our humanity. .

Can't answer Kerrianna's post very well. The questions seem large. The whole field of gender meaning is in social flux and definitions are evolving and new words being coined. Many cling to an old word whose meaning has changed out from under them, others rally around new words. It all adds to the confusion. Not sure where it will end.

Lanore had good sense to point out that we have been around before much of the social flux began - and people with our feelings were there despite a limited selection of available labels.

As far as modern science trying to explain why we have the feelings we do, I quoted Plain Jane because I think shes' mostly right. We are a biological variant, but I quibble with her use of the word "normal" as an adjective for variant. I'd agree that it is normal for all dna based organisms to spin off genetic variants, not sure we are a 'normal' class of variant.

Thats about as far as science has answers. Beyond that its all theory. A current theory in genetics is that the Y chromosme will eventually die off. (go find "Adam's Curse: A future without men"). Like we cling to words, we cling to scientific theory like its fact and it adds to the confusion as much as the words.

Then in the "real world" of medical care, insurance, social services, civil rights, we need some labels and some consensus so we can get care. When a committee creates a definition it is likely to be a bit Frankensteinian, with cobbled together ideas coming in from different special interest groups who lobby for a program to go a particular direction for a myriad of reasons.

When we take a Harry Benjamin Institute committee defintion over to the DSM committee they aren't likely to match or agree about it.

That leaves us individuals struggling to answer Kerriana's questions. Many of us are like Lisa - who in many post just says " I'm just Lisa."

For me, I never fit the boy role model well. The moments of realization that there was a big difference between what was going on in my head and what the rest of the world wanted out of me started before Kindergarden and just accumulated. I knew I was a girl but could plainly see I wasn't. I couldn't explain why I wasn't. That has never changed. The rest of my life is about coping with that.

On the TS issue, I suppose "Round 1" began about 1967 when I heard about Christine Jorgensen - her book came out in paperback and I envied her and knew that was me. I wanted that. But she liked men - I didn't like men. I guess I was not like her. I must be something else - still I wanted the change she had.

I have done plenty of CDing, and despite telling SO's "that's all I want," I knew in my heart I wanted the temporary transformations to be permanent. 40 rounds later I haven't dared to make that happen. I do take MTF hormones and feel a whole lot better.

I think much of what I've said sounds like what Karen said, except she did the hard work, accepted herself, took the risks and completed the surgery. Scares the heck out of me to make such a change and risk so much.

So, what am I then? A CD? A TG? A cowardly TS? A real TS? Agendered? Two Spirited? Just me?

hugs,
'lissa

[Sonia Kiss]

Hi Kerriana, I'm happy to contribute my answers, especially since I think my case is probably less common than some others.



So first question:
How did you come to identify as TS? Was it self identifying or was it a label that someone else (shrink, etc) gave you?

Self identifying. I've never been diagnosed or labeled as TS by any professional. When I started dressing a couple of years ago, I was "born" right into Boston's wonderful TG community and a number of my new friends saw the TS in me right from the start. So, yes, I kind of had friends labeling me as TS, but I wasn't too eager to accept this. It was all too new to me.

I've changed. I'm more comfortable identifying as TS these days, some because I seem to be doing a lot of what TS's are doing, and also, I think, because I'm starting to feel what a lot of TS's feel. I've taken some steps to modify my body, I'm living as a woman full time, and I do--in a general sense--identify as a woman.

My sense of identifying as a woman seems to have really clarified as a result of going full time. I didn't anticipate this at all. I went full time because I enjoyed so much presenting as a woman and functioning in society as a woman, even though my "internal sense" was not very much that of being a woman. Now it's like I've discovered a new internal sense.



Okay, the second question I ask ... WHAT would you say is responsible for you being TS? How DO you explain being TS?

My joke is that a TS I met in 2006 "infected" me with TSness. Seriously though, having no life history of gender angst, it's safe to say that any predisposition I had for this from an early age was small, and that any cause for this butterfly effect, whether nature or nurture, would be impossible to identify at this point. My first year or so I stressed a lot over the question of why I was doing what I was doing. I don't seek an explanation anymore. I'm content just accepting myself.

Sonia

[Sharon]

So first question:
How did you come to identify as TS? Was it self identifying or was it a label that someone else (shrink, etc) gave you?

It was me who told my therapists that I was transsexual. They only agreed wih me after talking to me about it.

I always knew that I wasn't a "normal" boy while growing up, but only realized that I wasn't, mentally, a boy at all when I reached age eleven or 12. Even then, it took way too many years for me to accept it.


I hear a lot of people say they don't consider themselves defective or sick or mentally ill...... But having said that, WHAT would you say is responsible for you being TS?

In my case, I am absolutely certain that I was born this way. Specifically where and how this happened, I haven't a clue, nor do I really care anymore. I am also one of those who don't agree with the term "disorder" or "deviancy" when referring to TSism, there is no illness to be cured. I was born right-handed, to bring up an example by another replier, and that's just the result of me getting that gene from my mother, rather than my left-handed father. But some years ago, when I injured my hand and could no longer use it, I switched to using my left, and it is now subconsciously my dominant hand. I don't see a parallel to me being transsexual -- I can't switch to another way of being.


Is anyone ok with that? Did you pretend to be ok with it to get what you needed for yourself? How DO you explain being TS?

No, it was all those years when I couldn't come to terms wih myself that I was "pretending" -- too many years wasted, but better late than never I suppose.

When people ask me why I'm TS, I really don't have a good answer for them -- I am what I am. This is nothing I ever would have chosen to be, but ignoring it and pretending it is irrelevant or manageable without positive actions, was just impossible and, ultimately, almost fatal. I am so much more at peace and happy with myself these past years than I was at any other time in my life, that I have no doubts about myself or my decisions. That alone is usually enough to tell people who care about me, although it still doesn't give them an answer that is easy to understand.

[Nicki B]

This is something that causes a lot of resentment from CD'ers which I don't understand. I simply don't want to be compared to a CD'er because I'm nothing like them, for me it's my identity and not a part time life style.

I think it's that assumption that may cause much of the resentment?

For many of us, it's a core part of our being, all the time, just as it is for you. Perhaps we just don't feel quite it as strongly, so we don't need to exhibit it full time?

I think also there are many girls, who, if they'd understood themselves better when they were younger, would definitely have transitioned - but now they feel, with the responsibilities (families) they have, that they simply can't?



I'm a little surprised at the idea that it's less acceptable to be seen as TS than as TG... :strugglin

[Valeria]

I'm a little surprised at the idea that it's less acceptable to be seen as TS than as TG...
I'm not sure why this surprises you.

Lots of people think that the word "transsexual" has been stigmatized, partially because some people see the syllable "sex" and that's all they think about. Some people prefer the word transgendered for the same reason they prefer the misnomer "gender reassignment surgery" - they think that the core of their issues are gender based, not sexuality based, and they want the labels they use to place an emphasis on that aspect. Also, there has been too much "Jerry Springer"-like sensationalizing about transsexual women in our life times for some of our tastes.

Truth be told, I tend to use the word transgendered to describe myself when I have to "come out" to someone, probably for those very reasons.

The whole "Henry Benjamin syndrome" movement is based in part on some of the same issues - a desire for a label that is unique to TS people, but without some of the baggage.

The reality, however, is that trangendered and gender reassignment surgery are both misnomers. We are not opposite gendered - we have opposite genitalia. The old terms are really more accurate.

In recent times, some people have taken to using transsexual and transgendered (and the companion terms cissexual and cisgendered) to refer more literally to distinctly different populations. Under such nomenclature, I would be transsexual and cisgendered (whereas many of the people in this forum would be cissexual and transgendered).

Kerrianna, I'll answer your questions when I get some more time.

[CaptLex]

Deep, thoughtful questions as always, Kez. :thinking: Time is limited today, so I'll try to be concise (for a change ;)).


How did you come to identify as TS? Was it self identifying or was it a label that someone else (shrink, etc) gave you?
I reluctantly self-identified and two shrinks agreed with me. I say reluctantly because I was very hesitant to undertake the huge changes I knew I would need. I was pretty much okay with the physical and mental changes ahead, but I knew the social ones would be a challenge (like Irene said, I'm the company tranny). And they are, but they've been worth it. :happy:


I hear a lot of people say they don't consider themselves defective or sick or mentally ill.

But having said that, WHAT would you say is responsible for you being TS?
I agree with everything the young-but-wise Cai said. :clap: I'm not defective or ill. This is just who I am and I'm okay with that. If others want to think there's something wrong with me because I don't fit the norm, that's their view, and they can keep that opinion to themselves.

And I don't really care to find out "why" I am this way. I think that type of thinking can lead to people wanting to "fix" us. And I don't need fixing, thanks. :p


if it's biological, like the hormonal wash theory or something, then that takes us back to that realm of medical science calling it a disorder or abnormality. Is anyone ok with that?
In a word, no. Whether it's due to something biological, mental, spiritual or even if it happens when certain planets align, I'm not okay with anyone calling it a disorder or abnormality. So it's "different", so what? What if someone is born with yellow or purple eyes? Yeah, it's different and rare, but so what? Do scientists need to find out why that happens so they can control each occurrence?


Did you pretend to be ok with it to get what you needed for yourself?
Yeah I do. I'm not ashamed to say it. If I have to play the game to get what I want, so be it. I don't have time to wait till things change at this point. My therapist knows that I don't have a disorder, and he explained the politics of it to me - the decision was mine.


How DO you explain being TS?
For me (and only for me), it's about my body not matching how I feel inside, and this affects how people treat me. But I wish it didn't matter how we look. I wish people treated us all the same regardless. I just don't have time to wait for that either.

[Maggie Kay]

My gender identity was buried under a ton of social responsibilities. The upshot of this was that I was so far out of touch with my own true self that I didn't know anything was wrong. I just felt terrible.

I didn't know that I was a boy or girl when I was young. I simply believed my mother. She told me though that I was supposed to be a girl and didn't have a boy's name picked out for me. She raised me alone so I didn't have a male role model. As a result, I used TV characters to emulate so I could learn how to be a boy. Actually, I hated the idea of becoming a man. Men scared me terribly as my mother "dated" and they would come around drunk.

I did girl things and my first Halloween costume was a witch with a custom made dress that my mother made for me. I loved that dress. I had a dozen stuffed animals in my bedroom until I was a teenager. I played "horse" with the neighborhood girls. I even went to a slumber party once. All along, I didn't really think about who I was. I was more concerned about being the only illegitimate child in my town who got regularly beaten by the other kids.

It was when I was in my late forties that I became obsessed with gender issues, including shaving "down there", panties etc and my SO one day said that she thought I was transgender. I had never heard about the term. I love to research so I dove in and found that I was indeed trans. Funny though it was nearly ten years later that she finally accepted that I was trans. That was two weeks ago.

I think that my mother having me as an illegitimate child was severely stressful on her. She even tried to self-abort me with a stick. This kind of emotional stress during pregnancy is supposed to cause elevation in the levels of estrogen bathing the fetus. People born during the blitz in London during WWII have a significantly higher incidence of transgenderism. Also, I grew up next to a factory with an abandoned warehouse full of chemicals that I played in for years. I even played inside chemical reactors and remember tasting some of the residues. Stupid kid. So some of my condition could be due to that exposure.

As for a label, my transgender condition was confirmed by three therapists. I told them my belief and they agreed that I am trans. I do not care for the transsexual label. This is not about sex. It is about gender.

[kerrianna]

In recent times, some people have taken to using transsexual and transgendered (and the companion terms cissexual and cisgendered) to refer more literally to distinctly different populations. Under such nomenclature, I would be transsexual and cisgendered (whereas many of the people in this forum would be cissexual and transgendered).


I guess I've been thinking along these lines, although obviously the nomenclature is not fixed in the T-community, because I was recently roasted for suggesting that a TS person would consider themselves cisgendered. To me, it makes perfect sense. Not everyone identifying as TS might, for their own reasons, but some would and I totally get that.

For some reason, many TG folk, even some who identify as TS, seem to resent or reject the notion that a person who corrects the wrong gentilia could think like a cisgendered person. Obviously they have trans history that gives them insight into gender issues, but I always believed that when a TS person tells me they are a woman or a man, regardless of their sexual orientation or history, then that's what they are. They're not saying 'I'm gender variant, I'm twin spirited, I'm androgyne, etc' So to me, it's just natural to think of them in the way they describe, and it's pretty much the way I think of any cisgendered person. And having said that, I am also aware that they may not view themselves as cisgendered, so I try not to make assumptions. But I'm not surprised if they do.

But some people seem threatened by that concept. Maybe, like I originally did, they feel let down that their own feelings aren't so clear cut or easy to follow. But from what I've heard, no one who is trans-anything has had an easy time figuring stuff out. I sometimes wish I could say I KNEW I was a girl, because it would probably have made things more direct in my life. But I know that didn't make it easier for anyone - sometimes just the opposite. And it doesn't preclude me saying it today. It might be unusual but if it's my reality.... I noticed that everyone here has different paths and journeys.

And I have no problem with people describing themselves as gender variant, etc. If someone says they feel a certain way, then I accept that. The trouble seems to start when they get carried away and are seen to speak for others or judge others. I think we're all guilty of that sometimes.

The reason I jumped into a firefight at LiveJournal was because I can't understand why some people don't accept that there are differences of being within the trans community. I understand when someone is feeling put down or boxed in by someone else trying to take their corner, but my experience has been that most TS people are very understanding that there are different routes and life circumstances for others.

It's when assumptions are made, or language is used sloppily, that people feel personally slighted or misunderstood, and obviously most of us have had far too much misunderstanding in our lives already. And, as CJ's thread re: the intersexed person on another message board showed, some people are just jerks and operate out of insecurity and insensitivity.

But my experience has been that most TS people are actually very understanding and sympathetic to other's gender issues. They just don't like it when the blue fish says "hey, you must be blue too, cause you understand me! Us bluey's gotta hang together" when in fact they are a red fish. But they are a fish, and the comment should be "us fish gotta hang together"

Hmmm...something fishy about that analogy. :heehee:


Thank you guys for your replies. I really appreciate it. I know we can talk about this stuff respectfully and learn from each other if we're careful about not making assumptions and watch our language so we don't accidently drop a cannonball on someone's foot. And listen to each other.

I've already learned a lot by reading your replies, and it not only helps me navigate the minefields of the T-Wilds, but it really helps me both feel normal about myself and understand what's going on both within and without me.

Haha...getting all George Harrison there. :happy:

Please keep the replies coming, and please keep the respect.
There's no reason we can't share the pond. :happy:

[Lisa Golightly]

1. Only take on a label you give yourself...

2. It just is...

[kazeparker]

In general, I've had a tough time figuring out how so many people define TS, TG, GD, and all that. Some definitions seem to be more accepted, others are used to avoid stigma, but all of them are apparently easy to confuse.

So, rarely do I describe myself by any of those labels when I can. I know I'm a male that wants to be female. It's more words, but it describes -exactly- my predicament, and avoids all ambiguities that are inherent with the terms used today.

So, I don't really 'relate' to anyone that identifies themselves by those terms, and therefore find it rather odd to see the issues that arise as people debate just who they are as if the definition clarification will somehow change their perspective on the world.

I've never considered it to be a mental disorder or some sort of illness, because I just don't think about it. It thus far hasn't caused me an inability to go about my life as it exists now. It's just there. It's something that will exist with me until some breakthrough in science where I can go from "male who wants to be female" to "female". Until then, so long as I can live a productive life, I won't consider it an illness.

I do think that there was something biological that happened, maybe just a hormonal thing before birth. Possibly an odd mixture of them, though not a defective one. I also know my mother wanted a daughter, so I don't know how, if at all, a parent's desires could influence hormones, but I've always suspected it was a little bit of nature, a little bit of nurture, to reach my end result.

[GypsyKaren]

I think it's that assumption that may cause much of the resentment?

For many of us, it's a core part of our being, all the time, just as it is for you. Perhaps we just don't feel quite it as strongly, so we don't need to exhibit it full time?


I don't "exhibit", I live as the person I've always been inside, and if someone feels they're male, it doesn't make a difference to me what they wear, how often they wear it, or how important it is to them, that is in no way close to who I am and I shouldn't be compared to them. This is in no way judging or knocking, it's just a simple fact, and I support everyone here no matter their choices.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Valeria]

It's something that will exist with me until some breakthrough in science where I can go from "male who wants to be female" to "female".
I'm not sure I would agree that a breakthrough in science is required to enable this. I'm pretty certain I'm female now, I'm just not fertile.

[Jena11]

As some others, can really only remember that I always thought I was girl. I of course thought that there was something wrong with me and I can agree that there is since I have boy parts on my body. I do not think it is a disorder, I beleive that some of us are born with a female brain or something that drives us to those feeling and we then have to suffer through lots of feeling and firgure out where we fit in or what is it that we have to do for ourselves to feel like the person our brain tells us we are. :2c:

[suzannecarr]

I don't "exhibit", I live as the person I've always been inside, and if someone feels they're male, it doesn't make a difference to me what they wear, how often they wear it, or how important it is to them, that is in no way close to who I am and I shouldn't be compared to them. This is in no way judging or knocking, it's just a simple fact, and I support everyone here no matter their choices.

Karen Starlene :star:

karen, you put it well , i feel the same, kudos to you!,suzanne

[boi_0h]

...
So first question:
How did you come to identify as TS? Was it self identifying or was it a label that someone else (shrink, etc) gave you?

Okay, the second question I ask because there's a huge reaction across the T lines about the idea of TS being biologically driven and in that sense either labelled a 'disorder' 'illness' 'birth defect' 'HB Syndrome" etc.

I hear a lot of people say they don't consider themselves defective or sick or mentally ill. I understand why they would say that. I don't consider my transness a product of that either.

But having said that, WHAT would you say is responsible for you being TS?

For myself, I haven't got a clue what drives these feelings and my outlook. On my good days I feel like it's a spiritual thing, that it's not tied to biology or psychology or environmental stressors, but that my soul itself has a strong, if not overwhelming and complete, female aspect. But that's kind of airy fairy for most people. I doubt I'll be getting hormone scripts with talk like that. Other than that though, if it's biological, like the hormonal wash theory or something, then that takes us back to that realm of medical science calling it a disorder or abnormality.

Is anyone ok with that? Did you pretend to be ok with it to get what you needed for yourself? How DO you explain being TS?


1. I know I'm TS, I have such a self hatred for my "girly bits" so I guess I put that label on myself, no matter what anyone else wants to call me or what label they place on me

2. I don't really know what makes me TS, I think there are probably some biological factors, and some other factors. I know that I've always known, but I can't say I know why I've known.

3. Currently, I'm pre-everything, so I can't say I've said anything not necessarily true to myself yet. I think it's okay not to know why you are the way you are, how many cisgendered people know why they're how they are.

4. I don't think I'd compromise my values to get T or surgery letters etc, but I'd try to tailor my answers while projecting my views to get what I needed done.

5. I simply say I was born female but I'm a man. I usually follow up with saying that I'm willing to discuss it, but I understand if the person isn't ok with it or can't handle it or whatever.

[kazeparker]

I'm not sure I would agree that a breakthrough in science is required to enable this. I'm pretty certain I'm female now, I'm just not fertile.

But if you read my post, you'd realize I am talking about my case, and solely my case. Which requires one. Because I DON'T consider myself that way now in entirety.

So yes, because I am talking only for me, as I'm the only one qualified to do that, it is a requirement.

[Valeria]

But if you read my post, you'd realize I am talking about my case, and solely my case. Which requires one. Because I DON'T consider myself that way now in entirety.
Okay.

The only reason I responded is that some people believe that even for those of use that identify completely as women, the current medical options can't adequately adjust our bodies to be truly female (an analysis with which I don't agree).

Since that doesn't seem to be your point, my response is irrelevant.

[Stephanie Anne]

I consider it more a self acceptance than anything. It is like knowing you are something others are not and finally realizing that something is just a part of what you are.

I know no matter what form I take internally and externally my core elements will still be there flawed and directing my life. It just makes life for me smoother to know I can and will have these little flaws without being the wrong gender.

One thing I do not see often so I can only speak for myself is my self guiding sense of reality tells me that if I could have rid this by just out growing it or taking medicine or therapy I would have done it long ago.

This is a part of who I am and I don't require validation in the terms of biological or social conditioning. I am a woman spiritually even though I am not spiritual and if I choose will be so physically, that choice is mine and mine alone to make.