Question for everyone

[mistunderstood]

Hey everyone my friend is doing a speach on Trangender and Gender Dsyforia (bad spelling). She would like to ask you all these questions. If you want you can pm her on my screen name.Also hope know one minds.I did ask permission first before I posted this.

1.How long have you been trans?
2.When did you first know you were trans?
3. How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family?
4.Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
5.Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
6.If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

I am doing this for an informational speech for my speech class (duh). If you want to be quoted, let me know and i'll be sure and do so. Also, if anyone wants to know exactly who my Professor is, and where i got to school, i'll be more than happy to give you the info!
Thanks,

Liz

[Kieron Andrew]

Hiya Aaron, firstly could you edit your post to put the questions on separate lines so no one misses one, its a bit jumbled :D

now to the questions

1.How long have you been trans? since Birth, i was born with Gender Dysphoria

2.When did you first know you were trans? when i was about 9yrs old

3. How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Bleeding hard, parents do not understand, the rest of the family do not know

4.Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them? Dad doesnt except, mother sways between sometimes does and sometimes doesnt

5.Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way? Yes im in the midst of starting transitioning medically although ive been living fulltime as Kieron for a few years socially

6.If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be? This isnt something i have chosen, its something i was born with, i make no choice to be trans

oh and yes you can quote me. not a problem

[Cai]

Hey Liz. I'd be happy to answer your questions - I'm sure if Aaron is vouching for you, it's legitimate research. You can quote if you want, or not, I don't have a preference.

1. I've been trans my whole life; I just didn't know it.

2. I came out to myself April of last year. One of my classmates came out as trans, and I had a moment of "Wait, you can do that?!" I did some more research, and nothing in my life had ever seemed so right. I didn't have a whole lot of trouble accepting myself afterward - I was just glad I finally knew who I was.

3. It's been very hard for me to tell my family. I was able to tell my Dad late last summer, but none of my other family members know. I'm very concerned about how my Mom is going to react - she's not very accepting of "alternative lifestyles". I'm also concerned about my sister, but for a different reason - I've always been her big sister, and I don't want to take that away from her.

4. My Dad has been amazing so far, though I'm not sure he completely understands how far I intend to go. I hope he continues to be understanding.

5. I've begun transitioning in a sense. I've been dressing full-time as male since last September, and I've been coming out to all my friends slowly. Right now, I still use my (female) legal name and female pronouns. My plan is to officially come out on campus for next school year, when I'm living off-campus and don't have to deal with dorm issues. At that point, I'm going to start insisting on male pronouns and name.
The major thing that stops me from transitioning right now is my mother, because I need to talk to her before I do anything official. Also, I'm just afraid - of what, I'm not sure, because this is a very accepting campus, but I am.

6. The major thing that I wish others would understand about trans people is just recognizing that I'd like to be treated as male. I don't know how to show that, but I wish people would see it.

[NateX]

1.How long have you been trans? All my life, just didn't know what to call it.
2.When did you first know you were trans? When did I first learn to label it? About a month ago.
3. How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Not so hard with those in my house, but the rest of my family and loved ones, way too hard.
4.Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them? So far, everyone has been very ok with it.
5.Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way? Haven't yet, waiting on all the proper stuff. Psychologists and that kind of thing.
6.If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be? That we're not freaks of nature, that just because someone isn't born like you doesn't make them less of a person, or more of a sideshow attraction.

[Abraxas]

1.How long have you been trans?
All my life.
2.When did you first know you were trans?
I've always questioned gender, as far as I know; since I was aware of myself and others as people. My first thought of 'I want to be a boy' was when I was about 8 or 9, and I began calling myself transgender when I was about 17 after I had that epiphany moment of 'oh. So that's what this is.'
3. How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family?
For the most part, it's been really easy. I started coming out online first, to a group of Eddie Izzard fans, which made things a lot easier, and then to a few of my friends in person. Most of my friends these days, I told them when we were first introduced and they've all been really cool with it. Family was a bit harder but most of them are really accepting (a few, I didn't even have to tell; they just sort of knew). The ones who I know won't get it, I'm just leaving out of the picture for now. It's not that they will disown me or hate me; they just will never understand so I don't feel the need to waste my time.
4.Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
As I said, everyone's been really accepting. In fact, I've had a lot of people say things like 'oh, that's so cool! I've never met a transgender person before' or 'It's great that you're confident enough to be who you want to be.'

5.Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
In a manner of speaking, yes. I started presenting as male when I was 8 or 9, so the clothing thing isn't new. More recently I've begun asking people to address me by my male name and male pronouns, and I've started working out to develop bigger muscles and a more male physique. I also plan on a legal name change in the next few months, when I have enough money. I haven't started hormones; not sure if I ever will, because right now, the risks outweigh the benefits. I plan on having chest surgery but that's probably as far as I'll go.

6.If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?
Just because I have a female body doesn't mean I'm a girl. And just because I may change on the outside, it doesn't change who I am on the inside. Oh, and stop calling me a bloody girl!


Quote me all you'd like :happy:

[boi_0h]

1.How long have you been trans?
Technically speaking I'd consider it forever. I feel my identity was formed and decided when my brain decided that it would fight with my body.
2.When did you first know you were trans?
When I actually knew what trans was I knew but I'd always considered myself male for as long as I can remember. I think my earliest memory was when I was about 5.
3. How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family?
Coming out is very hard, I'm not out to my family all the way yet, my aunt knows (and that's it) and my friends know, they're really cool about it, most of em knew that there was "something different" about me a couple even suspected I was trans.
4.Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
I've never had a bad coming out experience (partially coz I havent come out to the people who are gonna freak yet)
5.Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
I haven't begun taking hormones or having therapy to address trans issues yet but I bind, pack, look and act male, I also go by my male name whenever I can. I haven't started partially due to being still closeted to most of my family and the other part is financial--transition is so expensive.
6.If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?
It's hard, but you're fighting to be yourself, to project to the world who you are--who you've always been it's just been inside you and they couldn't necessarily see it. Times will be tough, you'll have your ups and downs but seek out a community--like the forums here--you'll find friends.

I don't mind being quoted. Good luck with your speech.

[Leo Lane]

1.How long have you been trans?

I don't know. All I know is that I wore dresses happily enough until I was nearly seven, then started refusing to wear them.

2.When did you first know you were trans?

I first knew that I didn't want to be girly shortly before I turned seven, and I knew not long after that I wanted to be a boy. I didn't fully identify as trans until I was sixteen, though.

3. How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family?

So far, impossible.

4.Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?

I would definitely hit a rough patch if I were to tell them. Some of my friends might be cool with it but my mum would freak out completely. Even when I was only thirteen and tried to tell her I'd rather be a boy she got upset.

5.Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

I wear men's or unisex clothes almost all of the time, pack sometimes, bind when I have to -- my breasts are fairly small, so often I can look flat-chested just wearing a sports bra -- and don't engage in any 'girly' activities. At present I can't go further than that because of my problems with telling people, mainly my mother.

6.If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

That if you just try relaxing a little and taking people as they want to be taken, you'll find it's easier than it seems and not such a big deal.

[ZenFrost]

1.How long have you been trans?
2.When did you first know you were trans?
3. How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family?
4.Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
5.Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
6.If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?


1. Forever, I just didn't realize it right away.

2. I came out to myself (and my family) as being trans in January 2007.

3. Somewhat hard, I know some of them are not accepting and that makes things difficult.

4. For the most part they either accepted from the beginning or not at all. I don't get on well with those who don't.

5. No, I've tried to begin the process with a legal name change, but because of where I live I've been unable to. I also haven't been able to do anything medical because I've been recovering from double jaw surgery which I had last April.

6. I often tell people that I'm not a freak, abnormal, making it up, or going against God... it would be nice if people actually got that.

[brylram]

1.My entire life.
2.I always 'knew', but it wasn't until I was 16 that I became aware that transitioning was possible.
3. It was simple, as soon as I knew I just went and told them...
4.My parents pretty much accepted it straight away. They had understandable confusion and awkwardness at first (though they really weren't surprised), but they've supported me 100%.
5.I've been on testosterone for about 7.5 months, and I have an appointment with a surgeon for July of this year (for chest).
6.A lot of people seem to assume that ftm transitioning is about trying to gain some supposed 'status' or something... that ftm men are just women who 'want to be men'. But in reality, I WANT to be a lesbian. If you could flip a switch in my head, and set me in dyke mode, I'd be all for it. There's what you want to be, and there's who you are... transitioning is about embracing who you are, no matter how much you might not want to.

If it's worth quoting, go ahead.

add: I also think that transgender/transsexuality is so offensive to some people because it's an active rejection of the needs and expectations of others. It's almost selfish in a way... because while it doesn't actually harm those around us, it forces them to radically alter at least a small part of their personal reality, and consequently affects everything they think they know. One of the most solid, safe things that we're supposed to know from childhood, is that there's males and females, and that's the way they stay. When something that foundational in a built-up belief system is taken away, the logic and truth of every other part is called into question... if only subconsciously. Crippling the world-views of everyone around you, for any reason, is a frightening and offensive (yet in this case valid) course of action. It's easier to ignore and deny (even lash out against) the gaping whole in your knowledge, than to re-jig everything until it fits again.

[Felix]

Ooooooooh! This is like a mass coming out post :hugs:

1.How long have you been trans?
Well good question, Wanted to be a boy when I was 8 thats my first recollection of this.

2.When did ya first know ya was trans?
Well I've known about transgender, transsexuality and everything for years but for me I started unwrapping my feelings about about 27 months ago.

3. I lost my partner because of this that has been devistating still coming to terms with it. I cannot tell my parents they are too old and I would loose them. I am out to many friends. Haven't told my son although he knows I am a tom boy I dress openly infront of him and his friends and we have discussed trans issues. Tredding carefully with it.

4. Like I said above I have lost my partner!!

5. I am waiting for gender councilling at the moment but have been dressing full time for almost 2 years. The fear of loosing the people I love and everything really.

6. That I'm not a freak I'm just me the same person as I always was who needs to be loved for me and not some label. What is hard for people to understan is mt queerness in that I am a lesbian whith strong masculinities who wants to be with another lesbian I am just on the trans spectrum too can't help that it's just me.

[Tristan]

1.How long have you been trans?
I believe my brain was programmed male in the womb and the wires got crossed in the womb and I was born as a female.

2.When did you first know you were trans?
My first clear sense of any gender identity was as a male. My family painfully corrected me and it took the tormenting of classmates that finally shut that part of down to me. I didn't know the word for trans or that it existed until I hit college. I just shut down that part of me who knew I was male for all those years.

3. How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family?
Sometimes I think it'd be easier to jump off a bridge, pack a bag, drive into the night, drive a knife through my eyes, anything but tell them. I've only told my mom, it didn't go great, it didn't go terrible. We both sort of ignore it now. I have no idea how the rest of my family will deal but I've decided to put some distance between us first before I tell them. Where I'm from, being trans is just barely above being a child molester and just maybe if you could do something that disgusting you could be one of those as well.

4.Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
I don't know what my mom really thinks. On one hand she tells me she'll love me no matter what, on the other hand she thinks its private and no one's business. In her mind I should live my life with my love of my life as a straight woman, instead of living my life with him as the gay man I am. "What you do in your bedroom is your own business, there's no reason to ever tell anyone about this." I don't think she has made the connection yet that it's painful for me to be female in day to day life and that sex has very little to do with it.

5.Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
I've started transitioning. I started hormone therapy in November. Money is one of my biggest obstacles in transitioning. Just to get started on the hormones was expensive by the time I did the counseling hours, the psych referral, the endocrinologist appointment, and the lab work. Oddly out of all of it, my insurance pays for my hormones, and not any of the rest of it.

6.If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?
It's not a choice. It's been like a horror film I can't get out of, everyday I wake up and I know I am a man, but I look in the mirror and I see her. It's really tough some days to cope with. Just because I am trans does not give you the right to take away my human rights. It does not give you the right to attack me, to fire me, to deny me housing, to deny me humanity. Being trans is incredibly painful for those of us trapped in a different body then we know ourselves to be, just because you were blessed with a body and brain that matched does NOT make you better or more entitled then us.

[durden]

1.How long have you been trans?
I started taking T about 1 year & 4 months ago.

2.When did you first know you were trans?
Honestly, I knew ever since I was about 3. Really, it's been time-stamped back to my earliest memories.

3. How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family?
Honestly, it was the most difficult thing I ever did. You take that one deep dark secret that you never wanted anyone to know, & then throw it out there for everyone & their brother to know. It's nerve-wracking stuff. & besides, I've always been one of those people that practically lived my life for everyone else, so I never wanted to hit my family w/something that could possibly upset them. So yeah, all in all, it was the bravest thing I ever had to do.

4.Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
Well, I really didn't talk to them for a little over a year. I've seen my mother & father face to face, but only a couple of times. My mother only once, & my dad 3 times. I've yet to talk to or see my brother or sister, but my sister & I at least flip emails each other's way. &, surprisingly, my grandparents are 100% supportive, & I see them all of the time. Who'd have thought that people in their 70's would be more cool w/things that people much younger than that?

5.Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
Yes, see above.

6.If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?
No one risks being judged / drop-kicked by their family, friends, brief aquaintances, etc. unless something is truely worth it. When something is a mistake, you'll go at any length to correct it, even if it's exposing every single one of your fears / true details.

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

1.How long have you been trans?

I don't know... would like to think I was born with this, but it sure took me awhile to identify it. Unlike a lot of people, I didn't spend time as a child thinking that I wanted to be a boy, just that I didn't want to be me. I was actually quite femme prior to discovering my trans identity.

2.When did you first know you were trans?

A year ago, thereabouts. I was getting all dolled up (as a guy) for a drag show, and uhh... it suddenly clicked that I didn't want to un-drag myself. Ever since then I've had a pretty good idea.

3. How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family?

Very. I'd been out to them as a lesbian and they were accepting of that, but were very much shaken when I came out as trans. We're on better terms now, but it's taken them awhile. We still fight over stupid stuff like names and pronouns, though. :rolleyes: Also, they won't let me be out at church or to some of their friends, which means I have to get back into girl mode occasionally. :Angry3:

4.Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?

See above.

5.Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

No... First of all, I'm still determining whether or not that is really what I want, and second, I have to consider the fact that I basically won't be able to visit my hometown again.

6.If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be? Honestly, I wish they could just spend ONE DAY in my shoes, so that they know what it feels like to not be comfortable their own skin and have to deal with BS like bathrooms, stupid people, etc.

[mistunderstood]

Liz would like to say Thank You for answering her questions. The answers you all posted was wounderful. They help her give a more informed speech.
Again Thank you.

[metalguy639]

1.How long have you been trans? All my life, I'm pretty sure.
2.When did you first know you were trans? I first realized it about a year ago but did not come out until recently.
3. How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? So far I've told my step-sister that lives with me. It was not hard for me she's bi-sexual. As for the rest of my family I already do not speak to them so they most likely will not get told about it.
4.Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them? No probs so far.
5.Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way? I have started right now I'm in counseling for some unrelated mental stuff & will be talking with my counselor to get started on the hormone treatments.
6.If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be? That we are not going to bite you. We don't think about the weird stuff people think we think about.

[Trapezoid]

1.How long have you been trans?
45 years. since birth. had gender dysphoria right from the get-go. Mom compromised by letting me wear jeans under the school-required dress. Still harped on me about not being "ladylike" though.
I presented as female on stage when i was in my 20's ( C&W, R&B, society and jazz gigs). Economic necessity to get the gig. I Always wore it as a bad costume, i can't do girl mannerisms or social play. I'm aspergers autistic. :)
Nowadays most folks think i'm a rural butch or something. I wear a rainbow and am openly queer. Not a big deal around here.

2.When did you first know you were trans?
when everyone started calling me a butch and a lez but i got confused because wasn't attracted to ggirls at all. I like boys and have always been intrigued and fascinated with genderbending and androgyny. Didn't understand about the scope of trans-ness or how i fit in until last year.

3. How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family?
Haven't really gone there except for ex father in law who is a CDer, and his wife the grandma of my babies. THey are so cool, helping me come out. But i've been dressing androgyne or male my whole life a gender neutral name already. I'm also married to a man, he's not entirely on board yet. Has his own kinks unrelated to gender stuff. Open communication is key.
My son and all his teenage friends call me "Dude" and say i'm not anything like a regular mom. :)

4.Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
I've been a family black sheep because of autism and being a starving artist musician and leaving my first marriage because of psychological breakdown and depression. THis is one more thing that will be like, whatever, dude.

5.Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

I do not feel a need to physically transition to male. I am close to menopause, a short muscular broad-shuldered person who does farm-work enough to have muscles, a deep contralto voice from years of singing in bars and smoking doobs. I identify most accurately as third gender or genderqueer, not a male or a female. i encompass both.

6.If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

That it's fun to draw in your own check-able box on forms that ask for gender. Do not grit your teeth and check M or F. I like to make another box labelled Q3. YMMV and all that, everything is subject to art and interpretation including ourselves.

[CaptLex]

My son and all his teenage friends call me "Dude" and say i'm not anything like a regular mom. :)
Hey, that sounds familiar :thinking: . . . my son said the same thing to me when I came out to him. :heehee:

Welcome, dude, nice to have you here. I guess I missed your intro thread. :doh: We have a nice bunch of guys here, and it seems like we're starting to get more in our age group now too. :thumbsup: Hope you'll have a look around and get comfortable. :)

[SirTrey]

Hey, that sounds familiar . . . my son said the same thing to me when I came out to him.
Wow!!! Two of My three kids call Me "dude", too....Much more than they ever call Me "Mom"...My youngest, Eric, almost ALWAYS calls Me that....I see I am not alone in that! :)

[mistunderstood]

Bring every one up to date Liz received a B on her speach. She says Thank you again for the info.

[metalguy639]

Bring every one up to date Liz received a B on her speach. She says Thank you again for the info.

That is great! :)

[Lanore]

I am 56 and have felt female for as long as I can remember. In my early years I didn't get looked down by society for being different, so it was me being me. There were no shocks to my family because we all grew up together. I never had major changes just slow developments. So, I can't really think of when I transitioned. I have always tried to live the way I felt inside and let my body develope in to who I am. What would I tell others? Identify with how you feel and accept who you are. The longer you keep it inside, the older you will become and the more people will not understand and feel hurt.

To me transitioning is like a dispay in a store window. You walk be the window for the first time and look at the display. Now you walk by that same window everyday and you see the main display but not notice some little changes they have made. After a while you don't even notice what is in the window.

Lanore

[ZenFrost]

Bring every one up to date Liz received a B on her speach. She says Thank you again for the info.

Tell her 'you're welcome' for me. :smilep: