Question for everyone

[mistunderstood]

My friend Liz is doing a speech on Transgender and Transgender Disphria (bad spelling). I checked with powers that be and they said it was ok to ask you all this. If you wanted to answer these questions in private just PM me and liz will get the info.

1.How long have you been trans?
2. When did you first know you were trans?
3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

I am doing this for an informational speech for my speech class (duh). If you want to be quoted, let me know and i'll be sure and do so. Also, if anyone wants to know exactly who my Professor is, and where i got to school, i'll be more than happy to give you the info!
Thanks,
Liz

[Sophie_C]

My friend Liz is doing a speech on Transgender and Transgender Disphria (bad spelling). I checked with powers that be and they said it was ok to ask you all this. If you wanted to answer these questions in private just PM me and liz will get the info.

1.How long have you been trans?

Since the day I was born

2. When did you first know you were trans?

Subconsciously, 3rd grade. Consciously, 7th or 8th grade.

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?

It would destroy my relationship with them as well as my entire life, so this remains, thoroughly "in the closet" (although I do recognize what I am).

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

Nope, and I don't really plan on doing it unless society does a 180 degree turnaround. As shown by countless examples, I would be made redundant nearly immediately, with no one willing to hire me, giving me the option of working in a low-level position in a GLBT office or working the streets. That sounds GREAT. Tack on to that the fact that 90% of families and friends do not accept transitioning, and i'll be left either poor and lonely or a prostitute and lonely. Great options there.

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

That it's simply a "born" condition, and should be treated as such. It's not a perversion or anything evil. It's simply a medical condition that needs a medical treatment, so stop being so freaked out about it, have it covered by insurance so you can actually get a good job done, quickly and that's it. Realize that by your actions, you destroy people's lives completely and it can't get any more cruel than that.

Could you imagine if someone got cancer, and instead of insurance dealing with it, had to pay it all out of pocket, but then was fired because of people being uncomfortable with it (of course, they'll find some other trivial excuse to use instead), and then couldn't find a job to pay for it so they had to work as a prostitute to live? That's what you do to the majority of twomen. I can't think of a more inhumane way to treat a human being.


message message message

[Lissa Stevens]

1.How long have you been trans?
Since I was born

2. When did you first know you were trans?
I knew I was different and wanted to be a woman as young as 6 or 7

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
No one knows. They would not be able to handle it, I know this for a fact.

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
No. My family stands in my way. SAA.

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?
I don't have a choice. I was born this way. If I had a choice I would not be this screwed up.

[terrigurl]

1.How long have you been trans?
For about 30 years, off and on.

2. When did you first know you were trans?
I first dressed at about age 12, but didn't realize that others were like that also.

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
My wife caught me once, and threatened to leave me, so I am much more cautious about dressing up.

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
I have not, because I am not really interested in becoming a woman. I just enjoy experiencing being a woman occasionally by dressing up.

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?
It is not a matter of choice; it is just the way I was born.

[Daintre]

1.How long have you been trans?
I have known since I was about 8

2. When did you first know you were trans?
At first I thought I was weird, I never knew there were trans people, I was alone and very anxious. I was 14 when I absolutely knew I was trans.


3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
This was something I did not want my mom to know as I loved her so. My ex outed me with my family and they rallied around me at first. Now they choose to think it never happened.


4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
I have made a slow beginning, but I have to weigh what I have to what I may lose. I have nieces that are near and dear, I couldn't stand losing them.


5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?
That I am still the person that they know/knew. Only the exterior wrapper has changed. I am not a scary person, just one who is finding my true self.

I hope this helps
Jenn

[RikkiOfLA]

1.How long have you been trans?

All my life.


2. When did you first know you were trans?

I always suspected there was something different about me. As a child I honestly went back and forth about whether other boys found the idea of wearing women's clothing, or wanting to be a woman, eternally fascinating like I did. Sometimes I thought my friends shared my fascination; other times I thought I was alone in that. I did get the idea early on that it was a taboo subject to talk about.

My first experience dressing in mom's stuff was at age 4. When she caught me, it was the first time I'd ever seen her cry.


3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?

Those who really love me accept it. Those who are transgendered themselves accept it also (yes, I have a transgendered relative). Those whose love is simply a means of control "I love you if you do what I want" do not accept it; that seems to be most of them.


4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

In spite of what many psychologists believe, most people under the transgender umbrella have no desire to transition. These psychologists spend extensive time with those who transition, so they are more familiar with them. I transitioned (if you want to use that term) the day that I got a job as an openly transgender woman and began dressing full time. That's as far as I want or need to go.


5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

Being trans is not a choice; we were born this way. The only choice for us is whether to accept the way we are and live consistent with ourselves, or spend our entire life pretending we are someone else.

Hope this helps.

Blessings,
Rikki

[Myojine]

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

Nope, and I don't really plan on doing it unless society does a 180 degree turnaround. As shown by countless examples, I would be made redundant nearly immediately, with no one willing to hire me, giving me the option of working in a low-level position in a GLBT office or working the streets. That sounds GREAT. Tack on to that the fact that 90% of families and friends do not accept transitioning, and i'll be left either poor and lonely or a prostitute and lonely. Great options there.


Oh my god thats so depressing...90% god now i dont wanna tell anyone what i wanna do...
my ideal life is pretty simple and easy but if getting there could mean losing it all i dunno if i wanna try

[JoAnnDallas]

1.How long have you been trans?
50 years

2. When did you first know you were trans?
since I was about 10-11 years old.

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
Told my wife last year. She is NOT 100% with this. She tolerates my fem side. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. No one knows exectly how a SO will take the news. It ranges from emmidiate divorce to 100% acceptance.

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
No, I have no desire to transist. This was one of the first questions my wife asked. She now knows I have no desire to transist.

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?
It is something your born with. You can not be cured of it. It will always be with you, so may as well accept it and get on with your life.

[amber 07]

1.How long have you been trans?
As long as I can remember.

2. When did you first know you were trans?
About age 10 when I'd sneak my sisters underwear
and wear them. Can we all say "BLISS"?

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?

I never have, and never will. They wouldn't understand it, and I wouldn't expect them to as I don't understand it myself. I have come to terms that I am "Different" and unwilling, no!!! UNABLE to change.

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

I have no plans or desire to transition. My Fiancee' absolutely loves Amber and She(I) have started dressing for most of the day and all the nights on the weekends. We both Love the experience as she(Chrerrie) can use her make-up skills as Amber sits patiently anticipating her revival. We love relaxing as Girl and Gyrl and enjoying each others company. Revealing all to "all" would kill our enjoyment of our "secret" and only confuse them.

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

I would tell them it wasn't our choice. It was a roll of the genetic dice and I came out the winner.

Just a suggestion. The term you were trying to convey in your intro is Gender Dysphoria

“Gender” refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviors, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women.

and

"Dysphoria" An emotional state characterized by anxiety, depression, or unease.

Just by combining the two words maybe you, and your audience, can understand our feelings of relaxation when we "dress". Even if the clothes are painful and restrictive we feel relaxed being somewhere we KNOW we should be. Its so sad that the American culture is so unwilling to accept MTF crossdressing as it has accepted FTM crossdressing.

Good luck with your presentation and I hope this little treatise has helped you in some way. Please feel free to quote me on any of the above.

Hugs, Amber

[MJ]

1.How long have you been trans?

I have known all my life

2. When did you first know you were trans?

it is safe to say at 5 years old i knew i was different .but at six i enjoyed playing dress-up

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?

it was very hard i was so scared .. my wife and children did not accept it and some family are not happy. i have been disowned by many my younger sister and brother . in time i hope they come around

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

yes i completed my 2 year real life test and i have my letter for surgery . what stands in my way is ignorance of people it's hard to find a decent job to help me pay for the surgery and fear i am doomed and will never be complete

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

This is not a choice If I had a choice I would not be this screwed up.


please feel free to use this information as you see fit ..mj

[KeriB]

Here you go!



1.How long have you been trans? -- from birth

2. When did you first know you were trans? -- well.. CD from about 10ish; TG only recently really

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them? - difficult, only my wife knows...

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way? - my family responsibilities, plain and simple...

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be? - we're just like any other "plain" person.....

[Seville]

1.How long have you been trans?
Since I was born

2. When did you first know you were trans?
I knew I was different and wanted to dress as young as 5 or 6.

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?

They tried to KILL me. They tried to blind me by spraying household
aerosols in my face. They KILLED (euthanised) my dogs while I
was at work. They publically humiliated me. They embarassed me in
the most inappropriate situations. I have been shunned by my Mother,
aunts and uncles for decades. Thank God that my niece in Kentucky
keeps me posted on weddings, births and deaths, otherwise I
would have no contact at all with "family". You would think the ones
who gave us life and nurtured us would love us unconditionally....


4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
No. I am married and happy in my present situation.

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that....
Accept me as I am. The life I made for myself is far better than most.
I only wish I had moved away - FAR AWAY - from meddling
ignorant hateful family when I was young.

[Mariah]

taging for tommorow :) bedtime.

keris

[epsxyblkm]

1.How long have you been trans?

I think that there was always a part of me that was, but I have only been able to get in touch with it for the last 4 years.


2. When did you first know you were trans?

See question #1

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?

It has been very hard. This has been accepted for the most part, but right now we are at a bit of a rough patch.

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

No, I dont feel that I would want to make the full transition.

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

Enjoy the freedom.

[lauraletsrock]

1.How long have you been trans?

As long as I can remember. My earliest memories are from about four and a half years old.

2. When did you first know you were trans?

See answer # 1, but in addition, a relative has told me that I wanted a doll for Christmas when I was three, and that I was so insistent that my grandmother bought one for me. So I might have known longer than I can remember.

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?

Impossible. For example -- as a young child, my telling parents that I felt like I was a girl led to my being withdrawn from a normal public coed elementary school and being enrolled in a private all-boys school. At 12, telling my mother that I wanted to be like Audrey Hepburn led to threats of being disowned. At 14, parents talked about throwing me out of the house or sending me to a military boarding school far from home.

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

Have not begun yet; not sure if I can -- though I have wanted to since I was a teenager.

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

You are born trans, and it has no necessary connection to sexual preference.

[KarenSusan]

1.How long have you been trans?

All my life.

2. When did you first know you were trans?

I knew I wished I were a girl about 11 or 12.

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?

I have never told any family. I don't think they could handle it.

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

I would love to live as a woman but job, family and the fact that I look
like a man gets in the way.

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

I was born this way. I didn't choose this.

[lucya_od]

My friend Liz is doing a speech on Transgender and Transgender Disphria (bad spelling). I checked with powers that be and they said it was ok to ask you all this. If you wanted to answer these questions in private just PM me and liz will get the info.

1.How long have you been trans?
2. When did you first know you were trans?
3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

I am doing this for an informational speech for my speech class (duh). If you want to be quoted, let me know and i'll be sure and do so. Also, if anyone wants to know exactly who my Professor is, and where i got to school, i'll be more than happy to give you the info!
Thanks,
Liz

answer
1: all my life.
2: since the age of 6-7
3: i told my mum about 2-3 years ago, my dad thinks its just a faze. but lucya is here to stay girlfriend.
4:not yet but i am plaining to in the next yer or 2.
5: at the end of the day, i see trans as a sole in the wrong body.
love to all of my girlfriends, xxxxxx lucya xxxxxx

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Liz,

Your questions seem to be focused on GID and while I would describe myself as a transgendered person, I don't think I have Gender Identity Disorder. I'm "just" fairly serious about crossdressing and presenting as a woman my own age whenever I can ... but with no desire to actually become one. However, just for my own benefit would it be ok if I participate in your survey?

1.How long have you been trans?
Like others have said ... I think it happens in the womb.

2. When did you first know you were trans?
I knew I was different when I was about 8 years old.

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
Only my wife knows and she is very accepting and encouraging as it was CDing that brought us together. We met on a message board similar to this one 7 years ago. I haven't told my Mom, Dad, or Brother because I don't think it would add any value to their lives. They live in England, I live here in California, and although we speak all the time, they don't actually have any direct involvement in my life so it's not something that needs to happen. Not knowing won't impact them or me. Also, I don't think my father would take it very well, so to me, there's no point in "rocking the boat".

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
I have no desire to fully transition. However, it is true to say that I am dressing more, and for longer. All of my socializing and a lot of my free time, is spent as Rachel. Only at work do I wear unisex clothes. Currently, I would describe myself as an "often crossdresser" not yet a full time dresser, or a transsexual who needs to transition. Maybe in the future, I can see myself dressing almost full time (maybe?) when I retire perhaps.

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?
Don't confuse gender identity with sexual preference. IMHO sexual preference is who I want to make love with, gender identity is how I'm thinking and (perhaps) what I'm wearing when I'm doing it.

[Sinthia]

1.How long have you been trans?
I first put on a article of womens clothing (girlfriends panties) when I was about 32.

2. When did you first know you were trans?
About two yers later, when I could not keep my hands off of my wife's clothing, especially her bikini panties.

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
I told them when my wife wanted a divorce. Not the hardest thing to do, but it did bother me at first. They all said 'do what makes you happy'. No one has (in almost 5 years) ever brought up the subject.

4. Have you begun transitioning yet?
No.

If not what are some things that stand in your way?
If you are talking about a sex-change, I do not plan on having it done. Just love dressing.

[Mariah]

1.How long have you been trans?
all my life :)
2. When did you first know you were trans?
about 9 months ago, before that I did not know what trans ment.

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
real easy so far, and they all accept me save my dad.

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
Started last month into the therapy part.

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

don't know




keris

[occdresser]

I will answer #1 How long have you been trans? 1) There is no other answer for this question other than forever 2) If someone answers last week or last year they are either lying to you or just experimenting!

[TrekGirl1701]

1.How long have you been trans?

As long as I can remember I've been interested in female clothing.


2. When did you first know you were trans?

Whenever I finally had the guts to try on female clothing. I can't remember when it was. Probably when I was 13 or 14.


3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?

Haven't told anybody yet. But I have no idea how they'd react. At the moment I'm keeping it under wraps.


4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

I haven't transitioned. If society allowed crossdressers to walk around and not be made fun of or be accused of being a bad person I probably would.


5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

That we're harmless. What it all comes down to, at least for me, is the clothes. What is the big deal about a man wearing women's clothing?

[Nicole Erin]

1.How long have you been trans?
2. When did you first know you were trans?
3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?


So this perhaps includes CD's? Title said "for everyone" Ok -
1) I have been CD 10 years.
2) I finally accepted it at 23
3) Wife - hard to tell. Rest of family, that was easy, they found out and my family members have big mouths.
4) Not in transition
5) I would tell them we are just normal people like ANYone else. People in all walks of life could be CD/TG/TS....

[angelfire]

1.How long have you been trans?
Probably since about grade 5, without knowing it

2. When did you first know you were trans?
Likely about 5 years ago

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?

Pretty hard, but under the circumstances at the time, I wasn't given much choice. My parents know, and a friend knows. All of them have been accepting, but have no desire to see my dressed, or really hear about it

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

I have no desire to transition

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

I can't really think of anything.

[Sophie_C]

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?

Nope, and I don't really plan on doing it unless society does a 180 degree turnaround. As shown by countless examples, I would be made redundant nearly immediately, with no one willing to hire me, giving me the option of working in a low-level position in a GLBT office or working the streets. That sounds GREAT. Tack on to that the fact that 90% of families and friends do not accept transitioning, and i'll be left either poor and lonely or a prostitute and lonely. Great options there.


Oh my god thats so depressing...90% god now i dont wanna tell anyone what i wanna do...
my ideal life is pretty simple and easy but if getting there could mean losing it all i dunno if i wanna try

Well, it's the truth. Do your homework. Check out these forums all over the internet. That's the consensus on what you've got to look forwards to, in the US, in 2008.

There's a reason I don't transition and that's it.

Good luck.

[Valeria]

Nope, and I don't really plan on doing it unless society does a 180 degree turnaround. As shown by countless examples, I would be made redundant nearly immediately, with no one willing to hire me, giving me the option of working in a low-level position in a GLBT office or working the streets. That sounds GREAT. Tack on to that the fact that 90% of families and friends do not accept transitioning, and i'll be left either poor and lonely or a prostitute and lonely. Great options there.
I lost absolutely no family members when I transitioned. I didn't really lose any friends either, though I eventually gravitated towards other friends that only knew my true self. While there are certainly plenty of people that have lost family due to transition, there are many others that haven't. The percent of family members and friends that are lost is certainly nowhere near 90%.

As for lonely, I have a life partner and a baby. I also have lots of friends - more than ever, really, because I'm much more gregarious as myself than when trying to pretend I'm someone else. I know another trans woman with a life partner and a baby, and a third lesbian couple that have started trying to have children. I know more than one heterosexual trans woman that has gotten married post-op (and I know in at least one case that her father "gave away the bride" as part of the wedding ceremony). It is true that some people that transition are lonely. Of course, many people that don't transition are lonely too.

I know trans women who are doctors, lawyers, engineers, nurses, scientists, teachers, etc. I've had no difficulty getting job offers post-transition - every interview I've had has gone well.

Employment discrimination does happen. So does being ostracized by coworkers and other people. But this mostly happens to people while they are stuck in the awkward middle phase of transition. Once you are "done", it tends to get a lot better.

I will concede that it helps a lot if you are young when you start hormones and/or you have facial feminization surgery. Lots of trans women (after hormones, surgery, electrolysis, and voice therapy work their magic) never get read as being trans, which admittedly helps a lot. It doesn't always work out as well for everyone.

But whether you get gendered as female 100% or not, losing everyone and being completely unemployable is relatively rare - it's certainly not the most likely outcome.

[VikkiVixen7188]

1.How long have you been trans?
I just started Crossdressing at 19, but I have always felt very much female, and when I was little my friends and I would make up charectors and mine was always female.
2. When did you first know you were trans?
I always new I was diferent, but it wasnt untill I got online and began associating with other Crossdressers that I figured myself out.
3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
I havent told them. My dad and I dont speak anyway. Not ready to tell mom yet.
4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
Im just a crossdresser I dont have any desire to actually transform.
5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?
I wish people would understand that just because I crossdress doesnt mean that I am gay. I like women, why the heck do you think I want to be one.

SEALED WITH PERFUME

[laceyjessica]

1.How long have you been trans?
For about 35 years

2. When did you first know you were trans?
I first dressed at about age 6, but didn't realize that others were like that also.

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
Told my wife who dispizes me for it, set limitations of panties only(year right), and threatened to leave me, so I am much more cautious about dressing up. Just came out to my parents last week, went ok I think, they like my wife think I can go see someone and cure it with a pill(lol)

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
I have not, I would like to make sure I can pass as a pretty good looking female first, coming up april 11 when I finally get my 1st makeover and actualy purchase a real hair wig which I think will make the biggest difference. Part of me would love to dress and be a woman 24/7

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?
It is not a matter of choice; it is just the way I was born.

[Suzy Harrison]

1.How long have you been trans?
More than 30 years

2. When did you first know you were trans?
At age of 12

3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
Have only told wife - hard at first but now okay

4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
No - loss of family, job, lifestyle

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

Just acceptance

PS: This is my 666 post - is that relevant in any way ?!

[Sophie_C]

I lost absolutely no family members when I transitioned. I didn't really lose any friends either, though I eventually gravitated towards other friends that only knew my true self. While there are certainly plenty of people that have lost family due to transition, there are many others that haven't. The percent of family members and friends that are lost is certainly nowhere near 90%.

As for lonely, I have a life partner and a baby. I also have lots of friends - more than ever, really, because I'm much more gregarious as myself than when trying to pretend I'm someone else. I know another trans woman with a life partner and a baby, and a third lesbian couple that have started trying to have children. I know more than one heterosexual trans woman that has gotten married post-op (and I know in at least one case that her father "gave away the bride" as part of the wedding ceremony). It is true that some people that transition are lonely. Of course, many people that don't transition are lonely too.

I know trans women who are doctors, lawyers, engineers, nurses, scientists, teachers, etc. I've had no difficulty getting job offers post-transition - every interview I've had has gone well.

Employment discrimination does happen. So does being ostracized by coworkers and other people. But this mostly happens to people while they are stuck in the awkward middle phase of transition. Once you are "done", it tends to get a lot better.

I will concede that it helps a lot if you are young when you start hormones and/or you have facial feminization surgery. Lots of trans women (after hormones, surgery, electrolysis, and voice therapy work their magic) never get read as being trans, which admittedly helps a lot. It doesn't always work out as well for everyone.

But whether you get gendered as female 100% or not, losing everyone and being completely unemployable is relatively rare - it's certainly not the most likely outcome.

Explain to me how you supported yourself through the "awkward phase" without being fired and/or having companies actually open to hiring you.

The only situation i've seen women ride this out is having other people supporting themselves or coming from money.

You seem to be an exception to the rule, but i'm all ears.

[jessielee]

1.How long have you been trans?
all my life but i didn't allow myself to know it.
2. When did you first know you were trans?
age seven, but figured i was defective, needing to conform to make it all go away so everything will be right and acceptable.
3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?
agree with others above. it would be impossible as things stand, for choices made long ago out of despair, out of repression and conditioning, of desperation to belong. it would break hearts, confuse children and destroy lives, i fear. so i play in private and dream of going out in the light.
4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
afraid not and don't expect too, sadly, for the above reasons.
5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?
we are who we are, dressed or not. my personality, beliefs, abilities, joys, sorrows, empathies, insensitivities, are all intact; what ever you like or don't like in me, we can still share or avoid regardless of this way of seeing myself, of being, of dreaming. we all partake of the human experience, some more hidden than others, for fear, and some qualities and visions more hidden and repressed than others, for no.

very best wishes in your study and demograpics, happy to help.
jessie

[Jenn2716]

1.How long have you been trans? Looking back, I would say that I have always been trans, even way back when I was a toddler.
2. When did you first know you were trans? At age 5 I knew I should have been a girl, but I didn't understand the meaning of "trans" until I was about 12.
3.How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them? It has been extremely hard. The hardest was telling my wife, which I did a couple of years before we got married. She was very accepting. Recently we told my parents and her parents about my femme side and everyone accepted it without hesitation, but are not really interested in seeing me enfemme or discussing it further.
4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way? I have not begun transition for one reason. My wife does not want to be married to another woman. I am ready for transition but I love my wife and would not want to hurt her, so I'm coming to terms with not be able to transition. It's been tough.
5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be? In my opinion, this is not a choice. I wish people could see that no matter what clothes I wear, or what gender I present, I am still the same loving, caring person underneath it all.

[mistunderstood]

Liz and I would like to say thank You for answering her questions. This helped her give a more informed speach. She tryed to let the audiance know that just because you CD or TG you are not freaks and this is not a choice.
Again Thank you all who answered.

[Valeria]

Explain to me how you supported yourself through the "awkward phase" without being fired and/or having companies actually open to hiring you.

The only situation i've seen women ride this out is having other people supporting themselves or coming from money.
Not everyone gets fired, and not everyone is unable to get hired. Also, the "awkward phase" doesn't necessarily last very long (depending on how you approach this). Lots of people are on HRT for years before they tell employers, coworkers, friends, or even most family. Some of them even have FFS before they come out at work. If you follow the common strategy of not going full time until it is difficult to pass as a guy, the "awkward" phase can be really short. If you arrange to work for a company with gender identity protection written into their employment policies (like most of the Fortune 100), then your likelihood of being fired for being trans is actually fairly remote.

I know lots of people that are still working for the same company post-transition as they worked for pre-transition. I know people who are either single or the primary breadwinner for their family that successfully transitioned. I don't know many people that "came from money" that have done this - that's not the usual solution.

I'm not saying that there aren't hardships involved for some people that transition (and it's freaking expensive for everyone). I'm just saying that your portrayal of a "typical" post-transition life is far from accurate.

Some people get fired. Some don't. Some people have trouble finding a new job. Some don't. Some people lose their family and/or some of their friends. Some don't.

Relatively few people make it through transition with no losses. I never said it didn't involve hardship. But relatively few people truly lose everything (career, family, friends) and live the dreadful life you described. Quite a few people transition and go on to live normal, happy lives.

[Bonnie D]

1.How long have you been trans?

I would imagine all my life. I don’t remember questioning it though at a young age.

2. When did you first know you were trans?

I knew around the age of 11. That’s when I began crossdressing in my mother’s clothes. I had three younger brothers, no sisters. That explains the crossdressing. I am also transsexual. I realised that around the same age. I couldn’t stop wishing I had been born a girl. I would pray each night as I fell asleep that I would wake up in the morning as a girl.

3. How hard has it been to tell loved ones and family? Have they accepted it or did you hit a rough patch with them?

Nearly impossible. I told my wife about my dressing before we were married but put it in the past tense. She was okay with it as long as I didn’t do it any longer. I told her again after we were married but put it in the present, she got quite upset and insisted that I throw out anything I had. I did. It was never mentioned again until last Fall. I had never stopped dressing and I had never told her about my transsexuality and my interest in men. We are now separated, not because of my dressing because we could probably have worked something out, but because of my need to be with men.


4. Have you begun transitioning yet? If not what are some things that stand in your way?
No, nor will I be. My wife and son, and maybe my daughter, would never have anything to do with me again if I transitioned. My age is also a factor and the results would be questionable. I see no point for me to transition if I did not pass 100% afterward. I can live with dressing behind closed doors, going to another city twice a year to go out dressed in public, and to see men privately, if it means I will not lose contact with my family.

I told my mother and my two brothers, one died in a car accident a number of years ago, that I am gay and so I am leaving my wife. I did not tell them about my transgenderism since I would not be dressing in public anyway. Plus people seem to have an easier time accepting someone being gay opposed to being a transgender.

5. If you were able to tell others something about being trans that you wished people would get, what would it be?

The only choice we have made was whether or not to come out of the proverbial closet. We did not choose to be this way any more than people choose what gender they are attracted to. Before getting into a serious relationship where commitments will made you must tell that person that you are transgendered and to what extent. This then allows that person to make their own choice on whether or not to commit to you.

Society must learn to become more tolerant of everyone’s differences.