Female feelings, female thoughts, female desires?

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Okay, you all share your makeup tips, post your photos, talk about how to create the illusion of a female form. So below the surface, what lurks that makes you feel female? What aspects of your person, beyond the obvious, make you feel female, make others' perceive you as female? I really want to know. Please be as honest and detailed as you can. Thanks, in advance, as always for your candor and willingness to share.
hugs
kew

[Sherlyn]

too me its the illusion .... i say i feel like a girl... but it must be the illusion of which i see in my pics of a girl that deliver's me ..too thinkin im female .... however as much as i may say i feel female i think its the girl i seein my pics and societies rules that sez if i wear make up and female clothes therefore i am looked upon as a female therefore i feel like a girl ...must mean in my mind... that coz i look like female.. i THINK i feel female ...of which i must say in honesty i really do not know how a female feels inside ...i am male

[KewTnCurvy GG]

hugs grrl, thanks my love for trying to put what is quite abstract and difficult to identify into words.
hugs, love and kisses
me

[sarah]

Hi Kew,
Thats a very good question ..For me its internal the way a sad movie makes me feel ,the way i am aware of peoples moods ,allways ready to hug someones sadness away ,never being able to say NO to a friend in need (or in fact anyone as my GG will tell you)Kissing is another of my female traits .I love to kiss ,for as long as the other person wants (as long as they are a good kisser)Sometimes Tessa and i will spend the whole night just kissing and cuddleing ..This is becoming more abstract than Sherlyns reply but finally the most precious intermal female trait i have is wanting to look more beautiful everytime i dress up...xxx

[Summer]

Good question! I don't feel one way or the other about being dressed. I have never given it a thought. I am out in public dressed all the time and it is so confortable to me I just don't think about being feeling female or male.

Summer :rolleyes:

[Tristen Cox]

Joy a hard question :p Okay try to follow me because I'm no shrink or anything. I have never related with guys very well. Their thinking, their physical movements, the way they act in character. All these things I have had to watch and assimulate, but they did not feel right to me. However I can relate to women or rather, I understand them in many ways without 'trying'. This extends from childhood through adulthood, marriage and old age. There's just something uniquely magical about the female gender, and men just don't seem to have much mystery to them. Hence to me being male seems extremely boring. For myself being TS, I do not have to wear clothes to express what I feel is my feminine side. I only do so to change my body's appearance. I feel more soft and caring inside than hard/brutish and masculine. Without going too deep here(ok well maybe), when making love that is when I have no clue of male hood and the 'other' inner self prevails over all. I'm totally female and can't even try to hide it. Sorry folks I'm not going into too much detail there, although I will say that any male thoughts at that time shut off and I have been scared more often than not that my female partner would reject me due to me acting like another female rather than a man during sex. That's the only time I can not hide what I am inside(cause I don't know any other way to be). Everybody just like really quiet huh...*room goes silent*

[Ophelia D'Void]

Great Thread (and great post Tris.... going to be a tough act to follow)...

Hmm, the way I see it, many of us act and dress in the way that we perceive femininity, or in other words its our take on what we consider feminine. That being said I can only speak for myself.

There's a part in Kill Bill II where Bill's character is speaking with Beatrix on the topic of superheroes. He was most fascinated by Superman, in that Clark Kent was his critique on human beings, what with he being an outsider. I think that as crossdressers we/I dress and act how we see femininity, but we approach it from a different angle than women do. As much as women have many joys that men can't share in (or in some cases aren't allowed to share in), such as childbirth (well, the joy AFTER labor), the donning of a wedding dress prior to the trip down the aisle, etc. etc., there are also many trials and tribulations that many men will never have to deal with, such as menstrual cramps, the threat of rape, walking the fine line of what is empowering/sexy and what is unacceptable to society (such as how men are players, but women would be considered ****s), equality, etc. etc.

As crossdressers, particularly Male2Fem CD's, we can only lightly fathom the many things that women enjoy/endure, and many times we only see the bright side, such as the short skirts, the whistles of appreciation, the feeling of being pursued rather than having to pursue. En femme, our CD alter-egos are simply our interperetation of the female gender. Howerver, with few exceptions, we dress to celebrate women, rather than to mock them, as Clark Kent's interperetation of humanity would. As a result, many of us see women as representing that which we aspire to have. En femme, do I feel empowered? Yes. En femme, do I feel more sensitive? Yes. etc. etc. Although as much as I THINK I'm more feminine, there's times when I'm still at a loss. When my SO is grieving, I react like a guy... either divert the situation with a joke or try to pretend like there's nothing wrong. Works with my guy friends, not with my girl friends. As a CD do I still miss anniversaries? Yep. Birthdays? Yep. But at the same time I feel more empathy than I would if I were just a run-of-the-mill guy.

A while back I realized that I can either see myself, the CD, as either a sissy guy/ugly girl, or as a whole that is a little fem, a little bit stubble, but somehow more whole than I would be if I only chose either.

OD

p.s. Tris, the few times that I've had, er, relations, with my exSO in drag I often felt a bit diminished as a man and often suffered from an emotional double vision... on the one hand I was a guy, and the other en femme, so it caused a bit of confusion... almost like trying to process seeing two pictures simultaneously. Don't think it would fall under the same category, but just wanted to express solidarity.

[JoannaDees]

Kew,

Just a lifelong feeling of not connecting/understanding/joining much of the silly male behavior? A wistful desire to have what you have as I watch female friends relate? Now, can I reasonbly expect to ever do that with another male? Probably not, due to conditioning or maybe even ... GASP ... because males and females truly are different. I don't know. There is just something that tells me "I'm not like those guys, I don't understand why you do that, what are you stupid?".

Joanna

[RachelDenise]

My female side is intertwined with my male side to some degree. Characteristics like caring, respect and understanding are not gender related but often ascribed to women. I have these feelings in my daily life and don't associate them with femininity. However, society does and that's when it gets confusing. For me, the female side is about my feelings about me, how I look, how I feel sexually and how I react in various situations. I think I relate better to women but that may just be my opinion. I am often disgusted with boorish male behavior, but have certainly done my fair share of it willingly and not just to blend in. Ah, the sweet dichotomy of life! ;)

[Sharon]

What lurks below has always been there for me, but it has only been in recent years that I have allowed myself to begin letting them pop to the surface, no longer quite as afraid of expressing un-manly emotions and being free to enjoy the things I truly like.
I'm not sure what it is that makes me feel feminine to be honest. I'm just being me, something of a mix of stereotypical male and female behavior. I like football (American), but I also enjoy watching makeover programs and romance movies. I have what might be described as masculine paintings on the walls of my home, but some of those walls are pink.
This doesn't make me feminine, after all, how do we really quantify femininity?
It's enough to just be me.
As far as other's perception of me (those who don't know about Sharon), it's probably the same; I assume that I'm seen as someone with eclectic tastes, unafraid of showing them.

[ChristineRenee]

Very, very good question Kew. I have known since adolescence I guess that I was somewhat different than other boys were. Although I grew up in a predominately male environment and had a true male childhood in that regard, something inside me was manifesting all along and telling me that there was more to it than this. The crossdressing, I believe, may have started out as a curiosity, but then as time went on, it began to represent in me something that needed to come out and be expressed and realized. I still believe that the first time I got fully dressed and made up and looked in the mirror and "saw" Christine, I knew what my destiny was going to be from then on.

So externally, I am a genetic male then. Internally, however, I feel almost totally female with the exception of how I think. I still feel that I have predominately male brain wiring, although there is no question that as time has gone on, my feminine personna has even entered into my thought processes more and more. Still, I can honestly say that I don't feel totally like a woman trapped in a man's body, and for this reason, the age factor, and many others, progressing beyond HRT to do GRS just isn't where I see myself headed. The negatives of that far outweigh the positives for me. Now then, if I was a much younger person, say in my 20's for example, well I might be at least exploring the possibility of it more...and even then I'm not sure that I would ever do it.

I can't compare my overall CD/TG experience much to many other's either. When I saw my first therapist at the age of 41, I had already been a CD for 29 years and had not told a soul. I literally had nowhere to turn to and even had suicidal thoughts from time to time. Seeking medical help was really a last resort for me, but it at least made me realize that I was not many things that I had previously thought I was (gay, abnormal, perverted, etc.) and also that I was certainly not alone in all of this. My therapist, still, had a difficult time trying to figure me out. I didn't fit into a standard cookie cutter description of what a CD was supposed to be like. I still don't, even being a TG now too, which I believe I have been for probably much longer than even I had realized.

When others say..."well I don't WANT to be a woman...I just like to wear the clothes"...I can understand and appreciate that...but that is not how I feel about myself. I mean...internally, I already feel that I AM mostly a woman...probably another reason for not needing to have the surgery done to just reaffirm the obvious. I still have a male exterior and personna...I don't necessarily hate it...it just doesn't do a lot for me emotionally other than be a sort of protector and bodyguard of my feminine self. I guess I kinda fall more into the she-male description...and I want my exterior to look more feminine and match the female personna that I believe predominately is me. And yet I really have no desire to lose my male parts either. I don't even have two distinct and separate personalities...they are more or less integrated into one...sort of two sides of the same coin. My female side, as I have gotten older, has become more dominant, but there is still basically one personality only.

I think that I have been extremely fortunate in life to have been able to fully realize some of the very positive qualities of the feminine experience...the loving, caring, nurturing nature. The way females bond by building relationships, where your inner thoughts and feelings are more easily expressed and shared with your best girlfriends. That kind of thing. Men can be very basic, shallow, and superficial. Not an awful lot going on up there mentally most of the time. It is really not the most cerebral of genders. Jeff Foxworthy pretty much nailed it in his comic routine. We want a beer and we wanna see something NEKKID! While the simplicity of that can be rather "liberating", it sort of limits your ability to explore all that you can truly be as a human being, in my opinion.

Men, in my opinion, have been brutally conditioned by society for decades...even centuries! So much so in fact, that half of our humanity as a human being has been socially conditioned right out of us since childhood. Men really do have the capacity to nurture, to feel emotionally, and freely express that to others, and to laugh and cry at the same time and know the reason for it. We are taught at a very early age in life to not be that way. You are not supposed to outwardly exhibit traits that suggest a feminine nature...because, according to society and it's strict "rules" of gender behavior...this is WRONG. Well...no, this NOT wrong. What IS wrong, however, is society's incessant NEED to define male and female roles and keep that carved in stone forever. The sooner we, as members of society, can breakdown this stereotypical thinking of how the sexes are "supposed" to be, and act, and think, and dress, the sooner we all will get to the level where we can all interact with each other as the fully developed and realized HUMAN BEINGS that we were meant to be and are capable of being. That is how I see our existence and purpose for being on this planet. Of course, that is just my opinion...I could be wrong.

I hope that this helps to clarify things a little bit more for you Kew, from this T-girl's perspective anyway.;)

Love,
Chrissie:)

[Lady Jayne]

Wow! What a difficult question, I guess the answer is I don’t know if I do feel female or feminine I just don’t feel particularly male.
Men like to look at porn, although I do love the female form I get far more aroused by reading an erotic story than seeing a picture.
I want to dress and feel pretty not for the effect it has on others but because it makes me feel more confident.
Sex to a man is quite mechanical and is more about the release (stimulation leads to ejaculation). Although I suffer the same fate to me it’s more emotional, giving pleasure, is more important than receiving, and the feeling of closeness afterwards is almost the best bit. I love the snuggling up!

Perhaps the best way for me to explain is this, I used to live in an awful little flat and I found a mouse Eek! Well I couldn’t bear to kill it so I got one of those humane mouse traps, the thing is when I eventually caught the mouse and tried to set it free it had died, All I could think was how terrified it must have been, I felt so guilty! What a whimp Eh!

On another occasion I was walking through a parking lot followed by a group of about four girls. In unison they all said Awwwe! They had found a little baby’s bootee
When I looked round and they saw me smiling they all looked sheepish at been so Girly, the thing is my first reaction was to think Awwwe!
The point is my perception of women is that they are far more sensitive than men they feel and empathise more; they’re just more emotional.
Perhaps I’ve missed the point or am not explaining it very well but I have no idea how a real girl feels, so I guess the question is as a GG what makes you feel female?


P.s Sorry if I have bored you!

[Katie Ashe]

That is one Q I have thought about but never could answer. I quess CD'ing for me is taking for granted like breathing. I enjoy stepping beside myself and trying to look at the world through someone elses eyes. I like the clothing choice women have, that as a man has limited. I'm tring to understand girls, CD'ing kinda helps. It's hard getting all dolled up, I've learned it isn't easy, and does take time. I'm not sure I can give you the answer your looking for. CD'ing and fem are just whom I am, right or wrong, accepted or not.

Hug, Katie

[Wendy me]

yes to dress up like wendy i have to "be" wendy and not some guy in woman's clouthing , the whole prosses from bathed to shaved and dressing starts a change in how i feel ,look and think... i spoke abought this before as i dress (crossdress ) i also crossdress my mind or i would be just a guy in a dress and that's not mutch fun at all.....see this post.........http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6609

[Sophie]

For Me I think (and hope) it makes me more loving, understanding, hugable, and more of a friend for my GF.

I love Being her best friend as a boy and a girl. Both sides of me have different things to offer in our relationship.
I get to understand the little things, like why she really has to get out of those shoes (even though i'd love to be wearing the uncomfortable stillettos on a night out!!), Why she can't wear that skirt tonight because she doesn't have the shoes to match.
And we can watch a 'chic flick' and i CAN cry and it's ok, i already know i'm a sissy, and so does she!
I get to be fashion consultant, and sometimes if i'm lucky,.... Model!

It also means we have a full understanding of each other, something only we have and something no one else can comprehend or take away.

So i guess it has become a relationship issue with me. I'm sure it would be different if i was not in an understanding partnership.

There's my 2 cents!

Sophie

[Di]

Terrific post Kew.....Fantastic answers ladies

[Danielle1960]

For me it is the vulenerbiltiy inside. I find it difficult and down right hard someitme to be the man. Not from a physical standpoint but inside. I struggle with being masculine in thought and nature. I wish I could be the one who is emotional, can smile, give a hug, feel pretty, these are the traits that land the average male in potential trouble. I have as much insecurity about all aspects of life as would be expected of a woman. I want people to be honest with me and not have a hidden agenda, (of course women don't get this either) and somone to stop and help if I break down. As a man I can concentrate on being a man, father, husband that all count on. As a woman I can take care of the emotional.

Danielle

[melissacd]

There is a certain beauty and elegance in the feminine ideal that I find very attractive. I appreciate that being a woman is very very hard work, especially if you are a working mother with children. I realize that it is not all just the glamorous parts (clothes, hair, make-up, shoes). I enjoy exploring the wonderful aspects of being feminine, exterior and interior. I desire to reclaim my femininty without losing my masculinity. I believe that we need both.

Some feminine, not specifically female, traits:

- being sensitive to the needs of others
- being a good listener
- being supportive
- being intuitive
- being emotionally expressive
- looking sensual, being sensual
- being soft, yet assertive
- having feminine mannerisms when you feel like it
- creating warmth and comfort for those around you
- being caring and compassionate
- being creative with that certain girlish flair
- having a sense of style
- avoiding vulgarity as a communication style
- carrying yourself with grace

I love femininity and I believe that it is not just the domain of females. Physiologically, males and females are different, that is true, but not really all that different. Men are encouraged to be tough, competitive and emotionally distant. I feel that takes so much away from your full humanity. It is so limiting.

I feel that men and women both have masculine and femininine personas. Recently, cultural norms have made it acceptable for women to express a very broad range of feminine and masculine characteristics. Men, however, are culturally locked within
their masculine roles. Some, in the transgendered communities are starting to break through this barrier, however, I suspect it will be some time before that wall is knocked down.

I think part of the reason that more men are seeking this alternative life style is that they are tired of the confines of what is culturally acceptable. They are tired of having to be macho, having to be the provider and protector. Those societal norms are starting to shift for women, but men are still waiting in the wings. For some men it is because their pride and ego get in the way of accepting who they really are. For others they are seeing the light, seeing their softer side and just chomping at the bit for when it is okay to express all of who they are.

While the statistics would lead us to believe that only 10% of the male population are cross dressers, I would argue, if you could get an honest answer from most men you would find that in fact the number is more like 90%. How could anyone not want to be a more caring, sensual, intuitive soul...

Melissa Eh!

[Julie York]

I don't seem to fit in this at all. But I can't help posting because it is intriguing.

To me, I see it as like a child's game. It is REAL emotionally, in the same way that killing aliens and saving the planet is 'real' when you are six years old.

But with cross dressing. it's the game of 'Lets pretend I am a girl' with all the lack of responsibility and exaggeration of a child's game. Sound effects too big (Kerpow!) big heels....emotions too big (I'm dying Captain!)...Oh look a cute little puppy, does my hair look pretty?

It's the game that allows me to be sexier than I would be in real life, more emotional, more soft, more fun, more ....girly!

Then we all take the clothes off and go home, have a bath, watch Dr Who and go to bed.

[melissacd]

Well said... :)

[cindybarnes]

What lurks under the surface that makes me feel feminine when dressed?
For me, the feminine feeling kicks in just after starting my eye makeup, and increases with each step. Choosing earings, trying to match the rest of my makeup with what I plan to wear, How to wear my 'hair" all the things GG's do any time they are trying to present their most feminine image for a night out.
But before all that,, underneath the surface,,, is the fact that Im not what one would call a handsome male,, not a self put down, but I can look in the mirror after getting all fixed up and be a lot happier with what I see than I can looking at the plain old guy in the same mirror.
Its like answering the question "what would I have looked like if born a girl?" and being happy with the visual answer. Im realistic about it all tho, knowing Im too large to easily pass while out,, large hands,, low voice, lots of other flaws I will keep to myself LOL
When I dress casualy at home, maybe capri's and a top or something its not that ultra feminine feeling but for me its comfort in knowing Im still expressing my girl side without all the fuss.
One thing I had to assure my wife of is the fact that no matter how short my skirt, or high my heels are , Im not dressing to attract anyone especially other males. Thats not the kind of feminine feeling I get from this.
Ok, thats my condensed answer to a pretty deep question :-)
Cindy

[DonnaT]

So below the surface, what lurks that makes you feel female? What aspects of your person, beyond the obvious, make you feel female, make others' perceive you as female?

Honestly, nothing. I don't feel female at all.

I haven't been out in public dressed yet, so couldn't say if anyone else would perceive me as female, other than how I look above the neck, or below the knees :rolleyes:

I guess I'll find out soon enough when I go out in Vegas. But I doubt anyone will perceive me to be female. Not going to stop me though :)

[Brandy_Marie]

Kew,

Thanks for this one. I am sorry, folks, but this one might be long. ;)

Many of the posts already have hit on some of my feelings, but no one post has completely summarized it.

I've always gotten along better with girls. It's easier for me to have conversations with them, etc. I've always had more fun hanging out with them. All of my closest friends are women. I hate the way most men treat women; although I've seen my fair share of decent men screwed over by women that needed a swift kick in the *ss.

I do often exhibit traits that are considered 'for women only'. I'm not afraid to cry, or show emotion. Most people still view cooking as a female dominated arena; I love cooking. On the other hand, I'm about as good at cleaning house (and as inclined to) as the stereotypical male. I do not always feel bad when I see a dead animal, I don't think all babies are cute, I do enjoy watching American football, I do believe that everyone should own a gun (and know how to use it). I don't believe in hunting for sport; it's one thing to kill out of necessity, but doing it for fun is just cruel and unnecessary. I don't know the first thing about fixing anything other than a computer, I'm horrible with tools, and I'm a disaster when it comes to cars. I grow my nails out, I hate it when I break a nail, and it disgusts me to do anything involving dirt if I can avoid it. I absolutely love women's fashion, makeup, hairstyles, etc. And I am the fashion police; if you've got it, flaunt it - if you don't, hide that sh*t. I've gotten griped at while standing in line at the Magical Kingdom in the Walt Disney World resort for having an in-depth conversation with several female friends over the differences between clitoral and g-spot orgasms. Most of my female friends describe me as 'the only man they've ever met who suffers from PMS'. My wife agrees. I'm moody, and I can be a b*tch or an *sshole, but I'm much better at the former. I love being able to answer just about any question someone can ask about a field that I am well-informed in, but I am much more concerned with people's emotional well-being than being right or having all the answers.

In relationships, I've never done well when I've been the 'dominant' person who has to take the lead. Those relationships have always ended in miserable failure. My most successful relationships have been with women who are more assertive, agressive, more dominant, yet still retain some sense of femininity. Most of those, though, are rarely satisfied with just one person.

Sexually, I've always been 'different'. Pardon me if I step into the realm of TMI here. I thought I was gay, until I lost my virginity to a woman, and then there was no doubt left. Dirty, disgusting, mannerless, hairy pigs (I mean men) do absolutely nothing for me. I've always focused more on pleasing my lover than I have on receiving pleasure. I'm one of the few guys I've ever met that prefers giving to receiving when it comes to oral sex. Long, slow, passionate kissing is one of the most arousing things ever. Matter of fact, wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am just doesn't do it for me. My nipples are way more sensitive than most of the men I've ever known. My ideal sexual experience is being made love to as a woman by a woman. When it comes to porn, I like both written and pictoral, but I always prefer woman-on-woman. I do enjoy the arousal and release of being male, but I definitely feel a sense of loss for not being able to experience ecstacy as a woman.

On the other hand, I have no desire to have SRS (or GRS, however you prefer). The way I see it is this: I was born a woman trapped in a man's body for a reason. There is a lesson in this life that I am supposed to learn; it is not my place to tamper with it. I want to be a woman, and I can be one as much as possible internally and externally, but since surgery will not make me a complete GG, then I might as well keep what I have. Although breasts would be nice.

I thought of myself as a woman trapped in a man's body long before I ever considered crossdressing as a lifestyle. I have often wondered why it is that I feel this way. Seeing as how I believe in reincarnation, I long ago hit upon the idea that I was a woman in most recent previous life. As I've grown older, I've come to believe that a soul is born into this world to go on a journey. No two soul's journies are ever the same, and some are shorter than others. Each soul has lessons that they have to learn, and once they have mastered them, they 'evolve'. Don't ask me what I think they evolve into, since I'm not there yet, I have no idea. I believe part of this process is that in each life, you are being challenged to not repeat the mistakes of the previous life. Sometimes, maybe you are being punished for something horrible that you did in the last life. Either way, the soul remembers, but you cannot tap that memory while you are in physical form. This all leads to my current belief in myself: In a previous incarnation, as a woman, I either did something really horrible to one or more men because I was incapable of understanding their point of view or maybe I wasted my life because I thought it would be so much better to be a man. Either way, in this life, I am now being forced to learn how to live in a man's world, in a man's body, without losing myself. To me (and this is not a judgement on anyone else) HRT and/or SRS/GRS would be somewhere between a gross cop-out and playing God.

In addition to that, I am who I am. I have found a wonderful person who accepts me for who I am both inside and outside. Any plans about changing who I am physically would naturally affect her, so it is not my decision alone. That being said, I am a woman. I don't care what my physical body looks like, what my birth certificate says, what anybody else says, by my standards of being a woman that's what I am. Because to me, the only thing that matters in the end is what is inside a person. That is where your soul resides; the rest is just a physical vehicle that allows you to interact with this world, and thus learn and grow.

Love,

Brandy Marie Devereaux

[Priscilla1018]

Wow ,after reading all of the posts, I'm not sure I fit in. I don't look feminine,I don't act feminine and I certainly don't go out dressed.Then there is the large amount of testosterone that comes through in some of my posts,as Dana pointed out a few days ago.I am happy spending time with the ladys and joining in their conversations;I understand more than the typical man.I am also comfortable with the guys.My Priscilla side loves to paint,to arrange flowers.to garden,to cook,and to be creative in general.
I guess I am still confused even though I have been doing this for 46 years.
I still don't know where I fit in.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

[Katiegirl]

As others have said this is a very difficult question, I suppose in many respects I have many what would be considered female traits.

Of melissacd's list I suppose I have the following

- being sensitive to the needs of others
- being a good listener
- being supportive
- being intuitive
- being soft, yet assertive
- creating warmth and comfort for those around you
- being caring and compassionate
- having a sense of style
- avoiding vulgarity as a communication style
- carrying yourself with grace

On a one to one basis I find I can't express my inner feelings - a true male trait but on forums like this one I find it much easier to express things.

I suppose my other male traits would be aggressive driving and not liking to wait for anything.

Do I feel different when dressed, not really just that I feel more my true self, when I am in male cloths I have to put on a front

I have always felt different from my 3 brothers and I find it easier to have friends who are women rather than men as I have more in common with them.

:)

Mind of a Woman, Body of a Man, life is a Bitch

[Sigrid]

I really only began to really explore my fem side just a few weeks ago. I started thinking of this very question over the last few days. What I had realized is that no matter what thoughts or feelings I perceive as feminine, they are in the end just that; what I as a man might imagine them to be like. I'd never, ever really know if the feelings were genuinely female.

Having said that, something very different and unexpected has occurred since I began to explore my feminine side over these last few weeks. Up till then, I thought of my CD'ing as nothing much more than a man playing dress-up for a few hours - often culminating in self gratification, instantly followed by a complete lack of interest in being dressed. This, I've learned on this forum, is quite common among some crossdressers.

But, since I started to let Sigrid emerge, the sexual compulsion has dropped off considerably. In fact I've only felt the desire to touch myself once since I first saw Sigrid in the mirror a couple weeks ago. And afterwards, I still had every desire to remain dressed as Sigrid. That one experience was quite remarkable too - While standing at the mirror looking at Sigrid it was as if Sigrid was trying to please the male side. It was so much more like lovemaking than I may have ever experienced. If that was in fact a genuine female feeling, then I want to be a woman. Whew! Excuse me, I think I need to go get dressed up now.

blasted thread - Damn you Kew! ;) :)

~Sigrid

[Elysia]

Great thread…

I believe there’s both a male and female persona in everyone. In most people one of the two is dominant but the relative balance varies from person to person.

Carl Jung describes these as the anima and the animus. I find Carl Jung’s theory fascinating but I’ll not go on about it. But if anybody is interested in Jung’s theory and wants to talk about, please let me know ‘cause I’m dying to discuss it… wrote a little about it here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7672).

Anyway… I think I’m someone with a balance closer to equal that most.

I’m also reacting to the environment I grew up in. It included a particularly rigid and harsh concept of what a man should be like. In my family a man was supposed to be an emotionless machine. As a boy, cross-dressing was, in part, an act of defiance, though I always concealed it. Women clothes were like talismans that kept me from a dismal abyss.

I do believe society is responsible for pushing people into extreme and unnatural gender stereotypes. I agree with ChristineRenee.


Men, in my opinion, have been brutally conditioned by society for decades...even centuries! So much so in fact, that half of our humanity as a human being has been socially conditioned right out of us since childhood. Men really do have the capacity to nurture, to feel emotionally, and freely express that to others, and to laugh and cry at the same time and know the reason for it. We are taught at a very early age in life to not be that way.

I think this got particularly bad after the beginning of the Industrial Revolution. It was then that human beings really started being treated like cogs in a machine. The age of Imperialism and all the wars that came out of that also encouraged the brutalization of the human spirit. By the time I came along men didn’t cry they just killed and Charlemagne was only a fairytale.

Still, as longs as there are women there’s hope for men and things might be changing.


Recently, cultural norms have made it acceptable for women to express a very broad range of feminine and masculine characteristics. Men, however, are culturally locked within their masculine roles. Some, in the transgendered communities are starting to break through this barrier, however, I suspect it will be some time before that wall is knocked down.

Melissa makes a good point. Though I agree it will take some time before current barriers are broken, it’s worth noting that historically speaking the change in cultural norms for women is very recent and that it came about because women fought very hard to bring it about, and they’re still working hard to reach equality. It’s not possible for one group to break out of a polarizing situation without also releasing their opposite number. One of the best ways to liberate ourselves is to continue to strongly support women’s rights.

I digress… I tend to do that. Sorry… what was the topic?

Oh yes.

Female feelings, female thoughts, female desires? I aspire to liberate them in my life and everyone elses too. Maybe someday feminine feelings, etc. won’t be thought of as the exclusive prerogative of women and people will wear pretty clothes when they feel like being pretty. You never know, stranger things have happened.

[Jonien]

Hi I'm new to this forum well any forum come to that
this the only one I can relate to I Have just been reading this thread and female feelings I don't I Just asumed Females Felt as diferant as thay looked , untill I reaiased after years of thinking I was a man as that is what was told I was and to act like one, well 60 years later after a clash of brain waves to the point of what is life if you can't enjoy it, I know i'v allways found excuses to wear my wifes undies like the washing still wet ect, It took this forum I came apon it by curiosaty and read some of the theads NOW I know what I am, Im ALIVE no more depreshion ok so my wallet has got a lot thiner as I have been shoping, shoping, shoping, as for feeling like a female I dont Know but I do now feel like ME

Love you all for my new berthday

Big Hugs Jonien

[Kimberly]

There are psychological tests whether your brain works best with problems that women can do well in and men can do well in.

Men = Logical thought, problem solving, visualising components/objects re: problems.
Women = Colour perception, shape identification etc.

I came out as roughly 50:50... and whether you read into these 'tests' or not, I believe that my brain is that - 50:50.

It is not like I'm female one minute and male the next, it's that I am me, and always me... I am just more feminine than some of my male friends.

I cannot truly say whether I feel feminine/masculine because I have nothing to compare it with... as human beings we only have OUR interpretation of the world to base our judgement on, so none of us will truly know what it is to be feminine. Our view can only be shaped by feminine things we see or hear about. As said by Sherlyn:

i think its the girl i seein my pics and societies rules that sez if i wear make up and female clothes therefore i am looked upon as a female therefore i feel like a girl
And so my crossdressing is both an example of what I see that is attractive about women and femininity and also an outward expression of my feminity within me. Dressing just brings out the feminine side within me.

[StephanieCD]

I don't have time to read this whole thread but I couldn't resist posting on a Kew thread.

The first thought that pops into my head in response to your question...

Mystique. Self-indulgence. Finding joy in one's self - an art often scoffed at by "men". And, oddly... power-envy. I once read an advice column where a woman said she hated sex because it made her feel like she was powerless; submitting. The writer responded that she should realize the crippling power her body has over the man's body - that she's not submitting but allowing, controlling, and then... *ehem* rendering flaccid. It's a sexual example but it applies to everything from walking through a store, to ordering drinks, and more...

Synopsis: the mystique of finding joy in the power of being one's self is the embodiment of femininity. To me... right now... at this moment... from the outside, looking in.

[Tiffy]

Hi Kew,
Thats a very good question ..For me its internal the way a sad movie makes me feel ,the way i am aware of peoples moods ,allways ready to hug someones sadness away ,never being able to say NO to a friend in need (or in fact anyone as my GG will tell you)Kissing is another of my female traits .I love to kiss ,for as long as the other person wants (as long as they are a good kisser)Sometimes Tessa and i will spend the whole night just kissing and cuddleing ..This is becoming more abstract than Sherlyns reply but finally the most precious intermal female trait i have is wanting to look more beautiful everytime i dress up...xxx


I agree, Very well written. I could not have done a better job.

April

[Phoebe Diana]

Kew,

Thanks for this one. I am sorry, folks, but this one might be long. ;)

Many of the posts already have hit on some of my feelings, but no one post has completely summarized it.

Brandy Marie Devereaux

My goodness, Brandy, I could have written about 90% of that post myself. Down to the nipples and the reincarnation (though I have not really speculated about any of my past lives). That's actually a little freaky.

The only difference worth mentioning (and it's not small) is that I never thought (or think) of myself as a woman in a man's body. Just as a bit strange. I have never focused any of my issues down to being specifically about gender (though I would always concede that was a part).

I'm not sure that makes sense, so I'll try to put it another way. If I were granted any wish, it would only fleetingly cross my mind to choose to be female. What I *would* choose is to be a shape-changer, and then gender differences are only the beginning of what I would explore. There's a whole lot of *other* out there, and I would like to know it all.

On the original question of female feelings, thoughts, and desires, the only one that I would ever specifically put my finger on is that I dearly wanted to have borne one of my children.

Phoebe

[Katie Ashe]

Brandy, dear, your book should hit the best sellers list shortly :rolleyes: , After reading more into the Q, I agree with many of you. It is hard to put feeling into words for me, I think you gals summed alot up for me though. Can I get a group hug :o

Katie

[Cathe TV]

My female side is intertwined with my male side to some degree. Characteristics like caring, respect and understanding are not gender related but often ascribed to women. I have these feelings in my daily life and don't associate them with femininity. However, society does and that's when it gets confusing. For me, the female side is about my feelings about me, how I look, how I feel sexually and how I react in various situations. I think I relate better to women but that may just be my opinion. I am often disgusted with boorish male behavior, but have certainly done my fair share of it willingly and not just to blend in. Ah, the sweet dichotomy of life! ;)

YES!!!! Rachel gets it!!! <applause in background>

[tgirlkari]

Okay, you all share your makeup tips, post your photos, talk about how to create the illusion of a female form. So below the surface, what lurks that makes you feel female? What aspects of your person, beyond the obvious, make you feel female, make others' perceive you as female? I really want to know. Please be as honest and detailed as you can. Thanks, in advance, as always for your candor and willingness to share.
hugs
kew
KewTnCurvy
This is a good question I have never really given this that much thought before. First of all thank you for starting this post. How many of us is it just about the clothes? I think that for me it does go beyond to below the surface. There are many things that I like that are percieved as masculine but not that other girls dont like??? My Dad is a manly man and tried to make a man out of me of course I fought Him tooth and nail as men we are taught to be completely cold and hard in our cores, that blue is good and pink is bad,any show of emotion is unacceptable. Girls ( i think or believe) are taught how to be warm, careing, and nurturing, soft if you will. I cry at good movies and books, I like showing my emotions and I don't care if it's ok or not, when I feel something I want the world to know how I feel to share this with me. Pretty colors are far better than drab colors and prints properly used are always nice too. I like to hug and show my love for the people I care about and those I don't even know. It would be nice not to feel the pain or hurt that can be seen in someones eyes but I feel for them and it makes my heart ache for them and wish I could make it better. Seeing happiness in someones eyes almost makes me cry too I don't understand it, but it does even more if I know the whole story. I could go on and on and maybe I should
but I won't bore you or any other girls. Girls are soft and pretty nice loving and all that is good about mankind. I dress as a man for work to be successful even though deep inside i loathe the image I am portraying even though needed its still a lie for under it all I'm a girl I like being a girl. I am not flamboyant nor do I over exaggerate
my femininty thats not me and would also be a lie, I'm me only me but comepletely me
in all my glory that I'm given whether I'm accepted or liked or not. Do I know how to
play the be a boy game, of course I do I was taught.I was not taught how to be a Girl
so I'm learning as I go and grow and continue to grow I will. I do not desire SRS I am a husband and father and I like being both I love my Wife and Children with all my heart and soul and do not wish to change any of this. I know I'm not a Female but I know that I'm a Girl and I am most thankful. Thank you for sparking this thought in me.
I love you for this.

[Stephenie]

i have always felt that something was missing in me. i now believe that the female part of me was so repressed that I did not know it was there. She has tried to let me know she is there and now that I am free to start to share this with my wife and start to express this part of me I feel more whole.

I seem to feel more emotional and sensitive while dressed (not much yet, just panties all the time, more as the wife gets comfortable with this) I feel that it's ok to talk to her about girly things with out her thinking it strange. Though she probably would not have before she knew. but i always felt that people might see what was in me so I held it all back. I am slowly trying to make the two parts of me into one. though I like both parts now the I have Stephenie to help.

Kind of makes it sound like a split personalty but I know that it's just different parts of me.

[Julie York]

What lurks below has always been there for me, but it has only been in recent years that I have allowed myself to begin letting them pop to the surface, .


Aye Karambaaa!

A gaff would fix that.




:D :D

[Stephanie Brooks]

Okay, you all share your makeup tips, post your photos, talk about how to create the illusion of a female form. So below the surface, what lurks that makes you feel female? What aspects of your person, beyond the obvious, make you feel female, make others' perceive you as female? I really want to know. Please be as honest and detailed as you can. Thanks, in advance, as always for your candor and willingness to share.
hugs
kew
HI Kew!

I'm responding before looking at others' responses.

I look in the mirror and I see the wrong sex. It's supposed to be a woman looking back at me, not a man. I look down at my body and the shape and the equipment are all wrong.

I'm now 47. For the last few months I've felt that I've reached the age where I can't have children, assuming I could be somehow magically changed into a GG. There's ZERO chance of that. Yet the sense exists and persists.

I can't explain it. Imagine, Kew, you looking in the mirror and seeing a man. You can't explain what "female" is, but you know you are female and not male. It's all wrong.

I've had waiters mistake my gender while in male mode. It hasn't happened more than a few times, but it certainly pleases me when it does.

The twist is that I AM biologically male. I shouldn't feel female. It isn't Logical.

So often I have the sense that I'm female. When I do, the flood of thoughts that follows is usually self-destructive.

Hope this helps!

[Vivian Best]

I can't presume to be more to the point than the posts to this thread. All seem logical, well constructed and to the point. What did strike me as I read the posts is "I wish it were possible for anti CDers to read these posts"! It would cast a whole different light on what we are made up of. Possible getting some tolerance and acceptance of us as caring humans instead of perverts.

Vivian :)

[GypsyKaren]

I guess it's a calmness and inner peace that I allow myself to feel. It's just difficult to describe or put into words.
GypsyKaren

[eileen1969]

I for one love being! I have always known that I do have a women in me!
and its not about trying so hard to either pass as a women or perfecting this.
I feel my feminine intuitions and know my female side! I feel female in my heart! and my thoughts are very strong with my nurturing side! As for my desires! I have many desires of passions within my body, ;)
Being is not an act for me and I know that! I really do appreciate your post and I could write a book on this girl! Bottem line " I Love The Women in Me!!!!
and my name is Eileen Julie Victoria Amber~Lynn hug n kisses, stay sexy n free! :) xxxooo

[SissyPanties]

To my thinking, some men fit society's model of what a man is supposed to be better than others. Since we don't fit the model all that well, we crossdress. I am a caring person but I'm not supposed to be; I feel things but I'm not supposed to; I love but I am not supposed to... We are conditioned that these things are not manly so we imitate women to be able to express ourselves.

[Michelle Josephine]

You sound like someone I can relate to. I am a happily married (24 years) father of two wonderful women (ages 19 and 22) My wife somehow lovingly accepts me, and even encourages me by allowing me to dress at home. I constantly struggle with the feminity question, and just accept that I too have an appreciation for inner and outward sensitivity. I am so very new at this computer thing that frightens me. Would like to submit photos, but know so little about formatting and sending that I have avoided such things. this is only my third day onsite, and this is my first message to anyone, so please be patient, and kind. My awkwardness will diminish as I slowly strive to attain the skills to do this. Being a crossdresser is such a private thing, that it's good to converse intimately with others. I tried psychiatry, and the analyst said that there is little she could do for me, and that I was her first patient with this "problem." I can't help but feel that it's not a problem, but a sublime release from everyday stress and masculine persuits. My wife accepts that this is a part of me, perhaps what makes me so attractive to her( sensitivity -wise) I am rambling on and on. I'm nervous about this "New thing" and should just stop at this point, but would love to express my, and share your interpretation of our shared phenomena.

[SissyPanties]

Welcome Michelle Josephine!

You are welcome here. I have some experience with computers. If you have a question, feel free to PM me.

Sissy


You sound like someone I can relate to. I am a happily married (24 years) father of two wonderful women (ages 19 and 22) My wife somehow lovingly accepts me, and even encourages me by allowing me to dress at home. I constantly struggle with the feminity question, and just accept that I too have an appreciation for inner and outward sensitivity. I am so very new at this computer thing that frightens me. Would like to submit photos, but know so little about formatting and sending that I have avoided such things. this is only my third day onsite, and this is my first message to anyone, so please be patient, and kind. My awkwardness will diminish as I slowly strive to attain the skills to do this. Being a crossdresser is such a private thing, that it's good to converse intimately with others. I tried psychiatry, and the analyst said that there is little she could do for me, and that I was her first patient with this "problem." I can't help but feel that it's not a problem, but a sublime release from everyday stress and masculine persuits. My wife accepts that this is a part of me, perhaps what makes me so attractive to her( sensitivity -wise) I am rambling on and on. I'm nervous about this "New thing" and should just stop at this point, but would love to express my, and share your interpretation of our shared phenomena.

[Brandy_Marie]

The thing I've noticed most in this thread is that, while we all share a somewhat common bond in that we are transgendered (in one form or another), not all of us do it for the same reasons or have the same goals. Yet we all are still sisters. That's kind of a nice thought.

Love,

Brandy Marie Devereaux

[Rachel Ann]

Great question, Kew!

As much as I love dressing, it’s really a means to an end for me, to tap in to my female personality and “anchor” my feminine side. Each step of dressing and putting on makeup is another trigger to bring Rachel out. I’m getting better at having her be somewhat present even when I can’t dress.

I am very much “bigender” (is that a real word?) – Rick and Rachel love each other like brother and sister, and need each other to be a whole person. (Stephanie’s words originally, I think.)

Rachel needs Rick’s aggressiveness, loyalty, sense of duty and “moral flexibility” to “take care of business” in the world. Rick needs Rachel enjoy life and to be able to feel anything. Also, Rachel has much better personal habits than Rick and tries to keep him from killing himself by being the “bad habits poster boy”. And, she soothes him when he is angry or upset.

One of my guilty pleasures in guy mode has always been liking chick flicks. Now I have Rachel to let me cry at a romantic movie or song. ;)

When I was younger, there was a sexual component to this for me, but that isn't really active any more. Far better to be an old lady with a lot of girlfriends than a lonely, bitter old man. :)



The twist is that I AM biologically male. I shouldn't feel female. It isn't Logical.
So much of life isn’t logical, dear. What is logical is for us to accept ourselves as we are, and share these feelings with each other.



So often I have the sense that I'm female. When I do, the flood of thoughts that follows is usually self-destructive.
Aww. If this helps any, psychologists say that “feelings never lie”. This means just that they are, after all, what we feel, and there is no right or wrong to a feeling. It’s just “raw input”. Now emotions, they are real tricksters!



Some feminine, not specifically female, traits:
- being sensitive to the needs of others
- being a good listener
- being supportive
- being intuitive
- being emotionally expressive
- looking sensual, being sensual
- being soft, yet assertive
- having feminine mannerisms when you feel like it
- creating warmth and comfort for those around you
- being caring and compassionate
- being creative with that certain girlish flair
- having a sense of style
- avoiding vulgarity as a communication style
- carrying yourself with grace

Not to split hairs, Melissa, but I think that most of these are not strictly feminine traits. Lots of men are good listeners, supportive, intuitive, caring, etc. without a whit of femininity. Also, I don't think that aggressiveness is necessarily a bad trait in a girl, as long as it is properly channelled.

And, of course, women can also be bitchy, catty, scheming and controlling.

Both genders have good and bad traits. We get to “cherry pick” the best of both!

---

I always thought that I was hip enough not to buy in to social myths about how I should be as a man, but that is easier said than done. Thank God for Rachel AND Rick! :D

[stefanie]

i find myself to take on a personality change...really. Not just sexually. In drab, I think of myself as being very socially typically male....work, relationships, etc.

When dressed, I seem to be more in tune with my feelings, emotions, relate better to other people's language, and overall feel more relaxed. Work, other pressures seem to be reduced (not disappear) as I somehow look at the world and relations differently.

I have only come to realize this over the last year and am trying to actually blend my personalities to be more whole. Its strange, when i wear really girly panties, let's say, under my drab clothes, I can feel myself switching back and forth in my thoughts, communication and presentation. Even my gestures are more gentle or mixed....actually its been very refreshing..... I am doing this more often. I think its been a helpful reminder to not be so black and white and to break from years of traditional social development.

don't know if this even pertains to the thread :)
stefanie

[Dragster]

Rachel Ann

I think Melissa's list of what "society" deems to be feminine traits is prety accurate, and no doubt we could prepare a similar list of masculine traits. Neither list is natural, ie. we are not born with one complete list, or the other, depending on our sex at birth; we develop a personality of our own based on the natural instincts we were born with, plus the input of our education and role models we choose to emulate throughout our lives. It's no surprise then that we all display traits from both lists, it's just that we have learned to behave in ways that are a mixture of what "society" deems masculine or feminine. Most men display mostly masculine traits, and most women display mostly feminine traits; few (if any) will display none of the traits of their opposite gender, but equally there are some men who display more feminine traits than a lot of women, and vice versa, but are still perceived as having the same gender as their birth sex.

The fact that "Lots of men are good listeners, supportive, intuitive, caring, etc." There's nothing wrong with that, but it DOES mean that they are displaying more than "a whit of femininity", but I suspect that these men are not seen as predominantly feminine, and probably not at all effeminate, it's just a part of their perceived gender mix, and they will not be seen as less of a man because of it. Unfortunately for us CDers, the feminine traits of enjoying wearing sensual fabrics, make-up, hair, clothing and footwear styles usually associated with women are not (yet?) acccepted by our society as part of the gender mix of a man, and many therefore see us as freaks.

The list is artificial anyway. Different societies in different countries of the world, and at different times in history would have different lists. We can only hope that our society will come to accept our traits as part of the gender mix of men soon enough for us older CDers to take advantage of it! Somehow, I doubt it.

I hope that makes sense.

Tony

[Chrissycd]

This is an affirming thread, and it is not easily answered. I assume you ask b/c you are trying to understand your sweetie better. Hope this helps.
There are many superficial things that make me Feel feminine. Tonight, I put my hair in pig tails, for instance, and I feel fabulous! So, clothing, makeup, breastforms, etc. make me Feel feminine.
But, there's an incredible difference between Feeling and Being.
Things make me Feel feminine. They don't make me female.
What makes me female is everything inside me that screams, "I can't stand being in this skin any longer pretending to be a man!" It's waking up on a Monday morning depressed b/c I have to behave according to that thing between my legs again even though it is not who I am. It's knowing that my character does not match my physical being while also knowing that I need to suppress my true Self to satisfy others who haven't the capacity to understand me. It's knowing that I can't wait to begin HRT in July. (I'm planning to start on the 4th!) It's feeling inner peace, joy, and relief when I am able to be Chrissy outwardly and openly.
This summer, I plan to come out more in public and allow Chrissy to breathe. Next summer, I'm planning FFM surgery. In the Fall of '06, I plan to go full time. Feeling feminine isn't my goal so much as Being my true self 24/7. Of course, the former will result from the latter.
Hugs,
Chrissy :)

[Elysia]

Stefanie, I can really relate to what you wrote.


Its strange, when i wear really girly panties, let's say, under my drab clothes, I can feel myself switching back and forth in my thoughts, communication and presentation. Even my gestures are more gentle or mixed....actually its been very refreshing..... I am doing this more often. I think its been a helpful reminder to not be so black and white and to break from years of traditional social development.

There are positive qualities which I associate with femininity but which I’ve felt I could not express with my male mask. I created a female mask (Elysia) so that I could express them. These are qualities that I have always associated with femininity. I’ve always believed that society associated these qualities with femininity and forbade men to express them, but recently it has occurred to me that perhaps my inherited concepts of what is masculine and what is feminine have been more sharply defined than they ever needed to be.

As I have experimented with integrating approaches that I think of as ‘coming from my Elysia perspective’ into my daily life—often aided by the gentle reminder that panties provide; they’re like a hidden talisman that keeps me in touch with my Elysia perspective—I’ve found that I’m a more complete person. I don’t think anyone is reacting to these changes by thinking of me as, in Governor Schwarzenegger’s words, “a girly man.” Don’t get me wrong, I would not expect a positive response if people knew just how I’ve arrived at this place in my evolution—no doubt ‘girly man’ would not be the worst thing I’d be called—but, in general, I’d say the world has responded very positively to the kinder, gentler me.

[norbie]

:cool: Yes a real cool tread,
My 2 cents?
I am switching, a male dom in drab clothes and fem sub when all dressed up, or just relaxing in fem dresses.
In my handyman job I work sometime very hard and rough, I think and I feel very male - but NOT MACHO. I dislike Macho man.and I think they are slowly dying out hopefully! :mad:
When I come home I switch, I will be very feminine, you know what I mean like sitting pretty, legs together holding in one hand the saucer in the other the cup, it relaxes me, its calming. Sometime I think that I would be not unhappy if I would have been born a girl.
But nature gave me a male body and that's it.
So being a CD is as close as I can get to being girlish. :D
So the answere to this tread is, yes I can switch to fully female feelings and I believe also thinking. Example if Miss Clinton would have been President there wouldn't have been a war. (It's only an example of fem. thinking - nothing to do with this tread!).
Woman do think different more caring I believe. But in todays harsch world this can change.
Thank you for a great tread,
Love to all from Norbie

[AnnaMaria]

I think for me it is the emotional side that makes the difference in who I am. I have always fought to hide the emotions that I have felt over the years instead of expressing them for what they are. And I truly believe that feelings and how we deal with them is one of the biggest differences between the sexes. I know that I am more sensitive to the feelings of others than the average guy, I am also more emotionally linked to those that are close to me than the average. I have always felt like I am a little less than manly when it comes to the everyday man activities such as sports and working around the house. More than once I have been told by my mom that she has always known that I was different from other guys in a lot of ways and that I have always been more feme in my mannerisms and reactions to what ever situation I am in. I guess it is just a part of life for me at least. Not that I mind really.

I guess I can't really put my finger on exactly what it is that makes me feel more feme than masculine other than a feeling of comfort when I am expressing the real me. Wheather in a dress or in a nice pants outfit that could pass for either.

I have also discovered that the way I feel and think about things is very close to the way my wife expresses herself in the same kind of situations the biggest difference between us is the fact that I am more outspoken about my thoughts and feelings when it comes to dealing with certian situations than she is. Which can and does get me into trouble sometimes but it is the way that I was taught to deal with things. My mom is very outspoken about everything and I guess I picked up on that from an early age though I have learned to hide most of it as a defensive way of hiding from who I really am so that no one else would know that I was any different than the average guy.

huggs
anna

[Kimberly]

Sometime I think that I would be not unhappy if I would have been born a girl.
But nature gave me a male body and that's it.
So being a CD is as close as I can get to being girlish. :D
That's it for me too. Basically.... I can be quite comfortable with my male body, but I'd rather have a female one.

I'm not suggesting a fantastic life in which I was always happy: I know that life brings ups and downs... But I would have been more content female... MUCH more!

But this is my situation, and I believe it holds a purpose, and I have learnt more about life and human beings because of it. I think that if I was a typical man without these feelings of wanting to be female to whatever extent then I would have ended up like one of those men most women try to avoid - those who just get a snog or a shag and f off, never to be heard of, or care, again.

That is not who I am, and I am thankful for it.

[Khriss]

My first cross dressing experience, seemed innocent enough, as I pulled on my Mom's winter boots(60's fashion),as they sat next to the front door, to run out to check the mail in the snow.I was then unaware of any, "gender" repercusions for such an act,as it was early morning and nobody saw me wearing them.As I returned up the driveway, I realised how different they felt to walk in,yet so comfortable,warm and snug.As ,I closed the front door, I looked down for the first time to admire how nice they looked on Me-even stepping into the hallway to look at My relection in the full length mirror. Suddenly I felt flushed , kind of dizzy and very excited by the combination of how these "stupid"? knee high "girls" boots felt and looked on Me as I posed in them for the first time. I supose I've chased that feeling ever since, and although a full blown , session where I emulate My personal , "femme" ideals- in fashion-makeup-hairstyle- to My best abilities, is now kind of a goal, pulling on a nice pair'O boots can still "trip My trigger!" A- transvestite kind of thing! hehe-xxx"K"

[Rachel Ann]

What a fascinating discussion!


The fact that "Lots of men are good listeners, supportive, intuitive, caring, etc." There's nothing wrong with that, but it DOES mean that they are displaying more than "a whit of femininity", but I suspect that these men are not seen as predominantly feminine, and probably not at all effeminate, it's just a part of their perceived gender mix, and they will not be seen as less of a man because of it.
Gee, I thought gender was a matter of self-perception. The men I know who fall under my description would, I imagine, never perceive themselves as anything but male/masculine.



The list is artificial anyway.
Quite right. And I think that, for political reasons, lists like that in the USA are drawn to make women appear better than men in most ways. Regardless of my personal preferences, I just don't think that's so.

Example: There are times to be assertive, and times to be aggressive. There is nothing inherently wrong with either.


p.s. I like being a girl because I think that women are nicer, prettier, softer and smell better than men :cool: