question on whether people suspect or know ?

[shirley1]

hi i have never honestly or openly come out to anyone that knows me about my cding - well apart from my best mate but i only told him half of it one nite drunk - i told him i had been on a shoppin spree for femme clothes and spent over 100 pounds or 200 dollars - anyway right he was cool about it caus he used wear womens underwwear for a turn on ! when he was much younger - but the point i guess i'm trying to raise is i have let a few things slip out to people over the years and most recently i went away with my sister and brother in law and stayed out late one nite and came back with a see through carrier bag with tights and some veet hair remover cream and because i was drunk at the time i didnt hide it just left it on the sofa opposite to them but they never said nothing the next day - unless they were blind they could clearly see what the contents in there were - but they never questioned me the next day - i just wonder now if when we worry about tellin people we know (close to us) they possibly already know or suspect we are cders anyway - has anyone come out to someone and theyve said "at last youve told us but we already knew or suspected anyway)

[pattysues]

I think people might suspect. Over the last few years I started shaving my legs year round, then started keeping my eye brows trimed backed, triming my arm hair very short and in the last 6 months started wearing small hoops in both ears. I have never said anything that I can recall, but I think the signs are there if someone really thought about it?:o

But, maybe its just me and know one really pays attention or cares?

[Amy Hepker]

I have told a few friends and they still accept me and I would hope by now other have figured it out, if not they will soon.

[Susan.]

I don't think any suspects that I am. Though there is a woman at work who probably suspects something just ain't right.

[AmandaM]

I think that most people who get to know me eventually figure it out. I think you'll have to assume to some people will always know.

[marny]

I think I have created alot of suspicion. My wife,one daughter, and one friend know. The rest are guessing. They think my painted toenails are just a summer cottage fun thing. As I escalate it is becoming more obvious. Thats ok

[Phyliss]

There are a few people in my life who "kinda suspect" but haven't asked "THE question"

Now, this is just my opinion but, perhaps it's a "stage" of coming out.
We've graduated from hiding one pair of undies in a tool box in the back of the barn to having only "girl" undergarment to wear, to using a bit of makeup, and perhaps more. Our conversations have touched upon "femnale" subjects. Generally we've gotten more comfortable and accepting of ourself and this has shown up in our day to day way of living. The surfacing of this has been so slow that we hardly notice it nor, for that matter, do many others. Slowly the light dawns on our friends and for the most part even they don't realize any change. "ole Joe has always been a bit daft, but he's a nice guy..."
I would think that unless and until you actually say "The Magic Words" I am a crossdresser people will not think badly of you.
Now, saying those "words" may very well spoil a friendship or ruin a career, but by not "opening up" and simply going about your life, others will make their judgement and either accept you or slowly drift away.
Case on point, A friend I've known for over 15 years has seen the gradual changes in me. From being "Mr.Macho" to a bit of a softening and a slow change in mode of dressing. Only last Summer did he finally ask me about my use of some makeup. Mentioned it was a "sunblocker" and he accepted that explaination. Of course I'd been wearing foundation for over a year before this, but had put it on a bit heavy that morning.
Kinda like watching the sunrise. Slowly it happens until the sky is full bright.

[Princess29]

I could have sworn that my sister would have suspected that I am a crossdresser but she said that she didnt. Of all the people who I have told, none have said that they had any idea.
I havent told my parents but while it would obvious to them that I am hiding something, I'm not sure that they realise what though.
But ultimately, you dont know how people might react or what they might know unless you ask them

[Angie G]

I shave my legs and underarms Have long hair both ears pierced And must change work clothes if any one has noticed or suspects no one has said anything. If I knew everyone
Would accept it I would like them al to know but that's not going to happen.:hugs:
Angie

[jennifer ann]

I shave my arms, chest, and legs year round. The only person who knows is my wife, everyone else has not treated me any different nor said anything close about it.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I think my friends suspect something is different about me, between my shaved legs and arms, long nails, baby powder deodorant, and accidentaly starting to cross my legs. They've made comments about my legs and nails but have not outright accused me of being a CD.

[Nadia-Maria]

It depends on the person and on the motivation-dedication for hiding . If you are a very secret person and do your best for hide it from anybody, you can achieve it. If you are enough cautious and thinking ahead, nobody will suspect it.
I did it for several decades.

When I decided to come out for first time, it was to my SO (for 4 yrs, at the moment of coming out), and she did not suspect anything at all. (My former wife was not aware of it at all. It was a pity for her, since she would had used it in the conflicting divorce).

Now I care no more to be read (by almost anybody). Hence I make no more my best for hiding it, even if I don't want to come out to anybody, so I remain cautious not to divulgate it.
However, I notice I currently make "mistakes" that would help other people to suspect it. Probably I inconsciously make the mistakes for being read, because I am no more afraid.

Hugs

Nadia

[angelfire]

I'm 95% positive that no one has any suspicions about my CDing. Even the people I told said they never would have guessed. My parents, even though I thought they had an idea, didn't have a clue.

[silkenhose]

i think my neighbours might know, i spend alot of time cleaning up around our house dressed and on occation the blinds have been up and from their back yard they can see into our kitchen i found out :eek:

outside of my Wife only two ladys at a store i shop at (they love dressing me) know.

[trannie T]

I came ut to my brother and to a friend, both were very surprised. My friend is still a friend, my brother and I speak to each other about once a year so that relationship has not been damaged.
I don't worry about being outed. If everyone were to be aware of my crossdressing I doubt if my life would be changed to any significant degree.

[Kristen Marie]

There are some that outright know. My electrolysis, the shops I buy clothes, the places I go for transformations sessions.....well, a lot I guess.

But, those that don't know might have suspicions based upon how we respond to things. Just yesterday I met with someone for business who loves to shop at Talbots...classy lady. I told her I lreally like Talbots, but I love Coldwater Creek and Chicos. Even explained how the Chicos sizing was strange. While she didn't come right on and say it, you could tell it was more like two girlfriends talking. I like those relationships!

[deja true]

I really doubt if anyone in my small community thinks I'm a CD. It wouldn't occur to them. Some probably think I'm gay, though. I don't care.

That's the first thought of 'normal' people. Wasn't that your wife's first question?

deja

[Seville]

Interesting replies, too.

I let it "slip" twice...I knew too much about espadrille shoes
and, when complimented on my weight loss, I proudly
said that I lost 4 dress sizes. Whoops! :eek:

She just looked at me funny...

Now retired, don't care - earrings, red fingernails, knee highs,
women's sweaters and blouses, cuffs, bangles, etc. when out
and about.

[SweetCaroline]

It might just be me, but almost no-one is shocked when I tell them I'm a crossdresser. Yet I almost tell no-one I'm a crossdresser. So go figure.

[Eugenie]

has anyone come out to someone and theyve said "at last youve told us but we already knew or suspected anyway)

Several women whom I came out to told me that they had often noticed I wasn't reacting like a man... Several told me, after I came out to them, "Now I understand better some of your attitudes..."

None told me "I knew that you were a crossdresser." At least so far...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Annie D]

I think Phyliss has made some valid points and in addition to her thoughts, I think that the thought that we would be a CD is not in our friends and acquaintenances minds. As we go through our daily routines, look around and watch people and pick out those who might be different. As I went through high school and college, marriage, and kids, I think that in my male mode I was pretty normal. I am still normal but now I openly dress in a feminine mode in front of my wife and occasionally in front of strangers. Because I don't go thru life thinking anything particular about those around me, I don't think that they do either.

I don't think that anyone who we are around on a daily basis, consciously thinks that we wear women's clothes. How about extramarital affairs? Do you suspect anyone of your friends or co-workers is having an affair or a drinking problem or a gambling problem or views porn on the internet. It is not something I spend much time thinking about others and I think that they are pretty much the same with their thoughts.

Although I shave my legs, I have seen many other men who do the same and even though I am a CD I don't automatically think that those men are CDs too. I have both ears pierced and have seen many, many other men with their ears pierced as well and have never thought of them as a CD.

What I have been trying to say is that the people around us are not suspicious by nature and take you as you appear; a normal but maybe eccentric person who shaves their legs, pierces their ears, grows their nails a little longer and maybe wears women's clothing.