Middle Gender?

[Byllie]

Ever take one of those online tests that claim they can tell whether you're masculine, feminine, or something in the middle? I have, and I always fall in the middle. Which has made me think, "Why is it we always talk about passing as the gold standard? Why can't we talk about how to blend or masculine and feminine attributes (not *sides*) into a seamless whole?"

In fact, at a recent local TG meeting, I stated I've always felt that I'm neither masculine nor feminine, but actually both at the same time.

So, my question to all of you is, "Do you agree or disagree that we need to stop seeing masculine and feminine attributes as being disconnected? That they are merely different types of attributes that each of us has a unique blend of?"

I'll sit back, now, and listen to what you have to say.

[KayR]

Great question!!
I do agree with the principle of middle gender, For me though its the contrast between the male and female aspects that I love. As a man I barely add anything to my general appearance - basic cleanliness notwithstanding! I don't make a habit of using aftershave or cologne (I do use deodorant though!). My attire is similarly uninspired. Dark suits, black socks and black shoes (are you asleep yet?!). Comfort is not the issue. A tie and shirt on a hot day are horrible.
Put me en-femme, however and I'll light up! I love bright red dresses, take hours trying makeup - even getting it right sometimes! and I never, but never go without perfume - I love Kenzo and Gloria, Dior Addict and D&G. I also love long glittery and elegant earrings. The sensuality of all that lovely swishy satin and silk is ecstacy, as is the feel of ff nylons on freshly shaved legs. If I got to the middle ground, and mix-and-matched into an androgenous person, I think I'd lose that contrast, that polarisation which I love so much. Maybe I'm talking nonsense, but thats my opinion! :D

[RobertaFermina]

I'm with you Honey, Sorta.

Sometimes I feel in the middle, especially when not dressed and in heart-to-heart conversation/connection with people.

When I dress, however, I feel like a Gal, in the way that I recognize gal-feelings.

I often muse upon the idea of simply moving to the middle and saving all the trouble of going back and forth. From there, its a shorter trip to however I want to be.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[docrobbysherry]

It would be great if they started teaching school kids about the "gender" and "sexual" scales. So we could understand where we fit in when we r just beginning to understand ourselves.

I don't think the problems r with us, CDs, TSs, etc. I think it involves society's idea that there r only two sexes. And the ideal that we should either be pretty, sexy women, or studley, macho men.

The thot that one person could actually contain elements of both sexes is NOT common knowledge yet! To most folks, we're pervs. And we r left to deal with that prejudice and our own guilt!

[amber 07]

I agree with KayR, its the contrast between the masculine and feminine that does it for me also. In male mode I can ride my Harley with leather jacket, chaps and boots as much for safety as presenting an image while on the other hand in feminine mode I can dress in all sorts of soft silky things that are denied to men in our society. I find myself switching between male and female mode almost automatically. For years I was "all male" and projected the tough, hard-edged image that is expected of us by friends and family. I now have an alter-ego that I can indulge with all sorts of feminine finery and it is just soooooo wonderful. I feel I can blend the 2 now and it makes me a more understanding and compassionate person. Hugs, Amber

[Cai]

I definitely agree, Byllie. Having a variety of masculine and feminine attributes, at different levels, is what makes us individuals.

I tend to think of gender as a preponderance of one type of attribute over the other. IE, I'm a guy because I have more masculine traits than feminine ones, not because my traits are exclusively masculine. Someone who has about an equal amount of masculine and feminine traits and lets them blend together would be an androgyne, your "middle gender" idea.

This model doesn't work for everyone, of course - no model does.

[Kate Simmons]

No doubt in my mind whatsoever that they are inter-connected Byllie.:)

[DemonicDaughter]

I couldn't possibly agree more! I would definitely fit under the "middle" gender section. Or maybe I just love being in the middle... :D

[jessielee]

dear Byllie,
i need to take one of those tests before i can truly understand,
but,
knowing what is being tested and knowing how we lean has got to skew the results towards the way we perceive ourselves?
but that's okay.
tells us what we've figured out already.
its not all so cut and dry,
we have an inner mixture and our diversity is what makes the world go 'round
and we've so many of us been pigeonholed and badgered into forced identifying and posturing.
however,
there are true mid gendered people out there,
sometimes called androgynes, intersexuals is the current name in favor, ones with physical characteristics of both genders, true hermaphrodites perhaps, some more "functional" than others. anyone read Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides? 2002, Farrar, Straus and Giroux Publishers. incredible.
how many times have i wished i had a documentable physical or diagnosable condition to explain how i've always felt and didn't fit in instead of just feeling a freak and a stranger?
so, aren't most of us mid gender?
and, aren't some of us moreso or more aware of not conforming?
rhetorically,
jessie

[Charona]

If you were to draw a line labelled "Male" on one end, and "Female" on the other, where would you place yourself? I suspect if the question were honestly answered by a reasonably large group of people, and the results plotted as a graph, there would be few at the extreme ends, and relatively few in the middle. I figure the graph curve would resemble the two humps on a camel (I had another simile, but figured this one might be safer). I think everyone has a mix of male and female characteristics, with only the proportions varying. Note that I am not referring to physical form, but more to attitude and feeling.

[bgirl]

Yes I am. Lost in genderland and strugling to find myself and its ok. I am enjoying the adventure. I feel feminine more often than masculine. Recently I got my health benifits aplication and found out that corporate thinks I am female. My wife just shook her head. I want to know how they know. Is big brother..........

[Byllie]

Wow, such wonderful responses. But allow me to add some thoughts.

GGs have no probelm, generally, of behaving feminine some days and masculine (sort of) other days. And, as far as I can tell, they do not see this as two distinct personnas. Rather, they see it as simply different aspects of a single personality.

So, why is it that when males act feminine, they are seen as "sissies"? (I know, dumb question) Why is it that many TGs I char with see this as having two "sides" or rather being two people in one, as if they could never be combined?

I don't know why, but I'm reminded of the Sally Fields flic where she played a woman with multiple personalities. I'm not saying we're all crazy, but ladies why can't we just be ourselves, whatever that is, no matter where we end up on the masculine/feminine continuum?

I'll sit back again and listen.

[JulieCDOH]

I took one that said I am 84% female. I loved the results.:)

[Brynna M]

Every time I take a "gender test" I always end up in the middle. I think it is a case of mixed chatacteristics and which characteristics I feel like showing/ embracing. I just have more options than some others. and I'm working on having more.

[Angie G]

Yes I did and I fell about 50/50 I love the 50% girl part :hugs:
Angie

[Joanna-Louise]

is there an online place to take such a test?? reading your replies id love to take another test as took one many years ago, so wanna see if my mental position has changed any


Jo
xx

[Byllie]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sex/add_user.shtml

http://transsexual.org/cogiati/index.php?lang=en

[flatlander_48]

As humans, we all seem to be driven to categorize and compartmentalize. It seems to be how we tend to view the world. It's like we have to be This or That, but not Both. For me the parallel is bisexuality. It is often hard for people to get onto the idea that someone can be a blend of both sets of desires and thought processes. The reality is that whether we are talking about sexuality or crossdressing, it is still a spectrum of interests and connections.

[ColleenW]

I just took the two tests Byllie mentioned and it turns out I'm in the middle.

[Sandi jo]

I'll have to take those tests but it feels somewhere in the middle to me

[Byllie]

Okay, here's what I theorize ... If you're a true CD, you're in the middle. But, if you're somewhere between pure CD and TS, then you tend towards more feminine attributes. Thoughts?

[Lisa Golightly]

We all start as female... What we end up as is a result of genetics, propaganda, and capitalism. Go figure...

[Deborah Jane]

We all start as female...

Started as female..Became male..Becoming female again!!

[KayR]

Now, working on the basis that I don't know anything, is it as "simple" as moving the bar towards female if we like dressing?
In my case i am a definite, dont-want-a-sex-change male. I enjoy all the female stuff. But the way that my brain works is not really why I enjoy doing it, is it?

[Nicki B]

Thoughts?

What do you mean by 'true'? ;)

[Yvetteforfun]

All of these prefaces suggest going from one thing to another....Here I am bi-gendered... a good portion of both genders...not going anywhere...not crossing or transing just being a bi-gendered person... Of course, some of us have to cross over...transition.... because we really are more basically one than the other...but I really think than many of us are just bi ... not necessarily bi-sexual...just bi-gendered and in that case are what we are....without any real need to trans anything...just existing in a natural condition not even of our own choice.... Yvette

[Melissa-M]

I just done one of the test and it said that I was a normal male maybe Ill go and throw all my stuff out and bye some wire front underwear and tel my inner girl that she is dumped. I do not think she will be happy about that.

I think that these test are fun and getting a score that you do not want to get like I got just dos not help you to under stand what you do and why you do it. so try to enjoy life and the challenges that life gives you and do not ponder on some Internet test:battingeyelashes:

[ColleenW]

Yvette -

I think you've hit on something here. There is a difference between bisexual, and bigendered. In my observation this isn't appreciated by the general population and sometimes it's forgotten by people here too.

[Yvetteforfun]

Thanks Colleen! I just think the term "bigendered" really covers a lot.. Of course some of us (both genetic males and females) are closer to one sex or the other...but there are many somewhere in the middle. I for one am quite easy with my "big brother", as I call him and he is quite easy with Yvette.... Managing them both is a chore...especially with respect to ...time... money...but, it is all part of the same life and the same journey. In this regard I don't consider my condition as being "fetish"... Altho, a little kink now and then can be fun.. HeeHe!

[ColleenW]

Altho, a little kink now and then can be fun.. HeeHe!

Yvette - If it isn't fun why do it?:GD: