Finding the "zero point"

[Kate Simmons]

In physics zero point energy is the lowest possible energy that a quantum mechanical physical system may possess and is the energy of the ground state of the system. It is the lowest possible energy a system can have and this energy cannot be removed from the system. So what does this have to do with crossdressing and who we are? Maybe nothing, maybe everything. I just know what works for me.

When Jill posted the tread today about self acceptance it got me thinking (which can be dangerous). I realized I never had any problem with the feminine feelings, nor did I really have any problem with the male feelings and was pretty much a tomboy growing up. The problems came in when I got older and the expectations of others due to the fact that I was a genetic male. This fostered resentment in me and my duality was created because I didn't feel that society allowed for me to express my true feelings on things. It went on this way for years, secretly CDing and the like until I finally decided to do something about it and came "out."

Most of the time we don't really realize why we do something, it just feels "right." What I decided to do was to be my femme self as much as possible while at the same time having therapy so I could get in touch with the feelings and find out why I had them and just where they were coming from. The feelings were coming from my core self or zero point which will remain in steady state at lowest level until activated or triggered by an incentive. What I believe happens then is that the energy cascades upward from zero point and increases exponentially until we become who and what we want and need to be. The funny thing I've noticed is that with experience, less energy is needed to achieve the desired result and being my femme self is now second nature to me and no longer a huge big deal. It also explains why I'm sort of still a tomboy at heart.

Whether this is so much hoopla or just my own surmising, it doesn't really matter. It is a mental construct model that works for me and I utilize it to go in any direction I see fit. The fact that I have amalgamated my feelings is a double bonus in this respect and I'm always myself regardless and can now express it in either mode, the mode being purely my choice.

In any case, the possibilities of expression for myself are now limitless it seems. I feel I owe it to myself to re-explore my guy side but this time on my own terms and in my own way. The difference is that I will be totally myself as opposed to being who others wanted me to be and the main thing I have learned is that I can never go wrong by being myself, no matter how I present.:)

[linnea]

A very interesting way of looking at life--I'll need to reflect on it awhile, but I find it particularly intriguing and engaging that it is a model drawn from quantum physics.
Thank you for your reflections and insights.

[Jacqui]

or, in other words:

0=gm(gg) x cd x tg²

got it! I think?

[bimini1]

...I am often reminded of my elementary school/middle school pre-teen daze where all of this really began to take off. I don't recall going thru any gut-wrenching shame or guilt. For some reason whenever my parents fought (which was alot) I would go into a guilt over the CDing.
During those times I would tell myself I never wanted to do it again. Weird.
But after a couple of weeks I'd be right back into my mom's lingerie drawer.

But for the most part, I was not ruled by society's negative views. I guess I had some realization it was not right since I never saw other male people dressed in these clothes.
As I approach mid-fortydom I am going back to these days in my mind more and more, I dunno what I am going thru. I'll pull out old photos of me as a child and gaze at them for minutes at a time? Part of it is what the hell is your problem, part of it is well you're finally accepting yourself, you had nothing to do with this just showed up here. I waffle. But I do try to get inside of that little boy's head. What was he thinking if anything to do this?

And I get no where fast.

[gennee]

I believe that because I didn't know my trnasgender identity until three years ago spared me of much doubt and self-loathing. I accepted to myself first that I am a crossdresser and I was at peace with it. Having shared more with my wife I feel freer to express myself and be who am.

Gennee

:)

[Kate Simmons]

The whole idea behind this concept was to identify the process and empower myself with positive control to regulate it. I found it to be somewhat of a "two-edged" sword in that by opening up totally and experiencing the feelings, it tends to take one over with what we call the "pink fog" and can sometimes take us too far in the opposite direction. The real benefit is to resolve the feelings and make them our own. In this way we have the ability to turn what we sometimes see as a liability into an advantage that works for us.:)

[Kendra Irene]

Salandra, that may be true, only if there is no outside influence to upset the state. An example is that "not today, you don't" look from the wife. Zero point is reached rather quickly. LOL

Kendra

[Julia Welch]

or, in other words:

0=gm(gg) x cd x tg²

got it! I think?

:D

That's sooooo funny

[Julia Welch]

Salandra....you think too much....just be what you want to be and be happy. :)

...Or in the words of Yoda "Do, or do not"

Julia.