Straight and feeling curious lately, anyone else ever get this?

[Esmerelda]

Hi I am still new here (read more than post) I didn't know where else to post this so Mods if its in the wrong place please move it. I have a sort of awkward situation/feelings happening lately. I first dressed and left the protection of the walls in my home in December and since then I have begun to go out as often as I can get out within reason (maybe 10 times total since December). trips to the store (not in my town) and mostly small places,gas stations, corner markets etc. so anyways there is a small grocery store that I have been stopping by and since its no where near my home, and I mean out there a ways, I have been talking to a fella that works there when I stop by. it was just chit chat to start but its progressing into more personal questions from him and lots of compliments, basically flirting heavily with me and I of course flirt back because it feels amazing to be on this end of it, and he does know I am not a "real girl" not because he directly asked but because I believe my voice and looks insist that I am not female, I just try and talk very quietly and raise the pitch as much as I can without making it obvious that I am trying. at first I was talking to him because it was a thrill to actually interact as Esmerelda and act feminine and get that type of attention, but lately I have been finding myself wanting to do something with him. That feeling is much the same as the feeling that I get when I dress up but more so. almost like its the "next step" I have never been attracted to a man before and I do think that its the idea of the whole thing thats getting me but I have to say I get extremely turned on knowing that he is interested in me in that way. have any of you ever felt this? am I just wrapped up in this alter ego that I call Esmerelda? its just a bit confusing to me and exciting at the same time. the odd part is that if I am not dressed up as Esmerelda and I think of the fellow I don't really have an attraction, but get me dressed up and talking and I honestly feel like I want to do something more than just talk.

I am sorry, it appears that this post turned into a long one, I just started typing and ended up here. any opinions?

Esmerelda

[Christine Kelly]

I tend to think that when we dress, we tend to want to assume
both the female emotional and sexual role. It is a bit like cosplay. Thus, it is only natural to want to 'play it out' all the way.
I would say that the best thing is to be aware of your own feelings in regard to this situation and be honest with him.
Since, as you yourself stated, if you were in guy clothes, you would not feel any attraction to him. Thus, he might feel a little put off or deceived if you did see him in guy mode

[victoriamwilliams1]

I agree with Christine. I have at times had that feeling pop up, it had gotten so bad until I wanted to play the wife for a day with out the other parts of playing the wife and have a nice dinner. That for me faded.

[Eugenie]

No, you're not alone in that situation. Some of us (of which I'm one) have described how confusedd we felt realising that even though we had always felt "straight" we reacted with strong positive emotions to compliments made by men. Like some others here, I pushed the experience farther through to an intimate relationship and it was totally unexpected that it just felt wonderful, no guilt what so ever.

I'm not advocating for a generalisation, every one of us is free to have his/her own private intimate life as she/he want to...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[annekathleen]

I think to some extent, we are all "curious"
Whether we are dressed as a male, or
we're dressed in female clothing.
It's a choice, each individual has to make
on his own terms.:hugs:

[Julia Welch]

I couldn't disagree with you all more....I'm only interested in women....

I just love wearing their clothes too... :)

[jessielee]

dear Esmeralda,
nice to see you are here. and your post is provocative.
i am so straight,
realize majority of CDers are too, enjoying, glorying in wearing and celebrating all the fem deprived us!
and yet...
some are transitioning.
very jealous.
if i acheive that point some day, fully, i guess that would make me a lesbian! weeeeee!
and for now, in perfectly "straight mode;" i see a lovely CD presentation and my hormones are at work! aroused, dressed or not! my mind knows she has extra equipment i'm not prepared for. even so...
love is realtionship.
attraction is nice, compliments flattering, i could be there, where you are, to feel lovely and desired. make me blush... and if the realtionship grows?
though i'm "straight," something must be expanding within me.
if i loved a girl, truly loved her, i hazzard it wouldn't make any difference.
and it shocks me to realize this.
please, share more!
some pix someday!
all best wishes,
jessie

[EllenTheWonderGirl]

because I wanted to be them. It took awhile to figure that out.

I really like men in many ways. Their looks, their smiles, and even their smells!

yes, I'm goofy.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Esmerelda

I would just like to add a note of caution
Should you decide to take this further be extremely careful especially if its with this guy
The guy who served you in the shop thinks your a Genetic Girl which could cause trouble when he finds out

[TriciaO]

Shelly, I think the poster said that she believes the man knows that she is not a GG. Anyway, Esmerelda, my opinion is that you should stop by again, let him flirt, and then if you still feel an attraction, ask him if there's a place where the two of you could go out for a cup of coffee after he gets off work.

If he responds positively, spend a little "alone time" with him in public and see what happens. Smile a lot, relax, and stay close to him, especially when you are saying goodbye at the end of the "date". If you enjoy your time together, give him a hug when you are leaving and see if he tries to kiss you. If he does, don't resist it. You'll know if you're enjoying it. If you don't like it, thank him for the coffee and find another grocery store. If you feel dizzy like you're about to pass out, ask him when you can see him again. You'll know what to do the next time you are alone with him. :lovestruck:

[Esmerelda]

Thanks for all of the responses, TriciaO's response hits me, the whole go on a coffee date with him thing and give him a hug and see where he goes with it sounds amazing, I am married though. so something materializing may never occur. I have a feeling my wife suspects me of at least being turned on by cross dressing but has no idea that I do it. in all honesty the thing about me wanting to do more with this fellow at the store, I would not need the coffee date, there is something about being dressed that makes me feel free, theres almost a power that comes with being dressed and perceived as a woman, almost like I am not me. I have imagined lots of scenarios with the grocery man, most end up with me in curious positions and just taking in the whole experience of being in the role of a woman. almost as if I looked behind the curtain and saw the great wizard of Oz and now understand some things that I previously could not before dressing and acting as a female. I can't figure out if its just an extension of being dressed, kind of like wanting/needing to get the whole being a female thing, or if its just getting caught up in the moment having a mans total attention and knowing that he would like to do to me as he wishes. I think submitting to man, that man specifically currently, would be the greatest turn on that I have ever had. I imagine giving in and being guided into being a complete female role. being dominated by someone that takes the role of the controller and giving in to the temptations that I get filled with when I am Esmerelda. I have to admit that I am getting somewhat turned on typing the last couple of sentences so I will stop typing now.

again thanks for the responses.

PS: Shelly I don't think that it is possible that he thinks I am a real woman. some of the things he says leads me to this opinion as well as I am not passable in my opinion. I am attracted to Esmerelda, but not passable.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Understand that romance and a need for acceptance are a part of gender and not really sex. You like being accepted. Nothing wrong with that. You like the idea of being wanted maybe. Nothing wrong with that. Romance is a wonderful thing. You like attention as a female....nothing wrong with that as long as you remember you are already in a relationship and have made obligations.

Just know your own head and go slow sis.


Emily Ann

[RobertaFermina]

Sure that happens to me.
Once I even followed it up and set up an opportunity to "do something."
However, it led nowhere.

Looking back, I don't feel a loss.

I think the "male attraction" is due to the bliss of being fully Roberta, and being able to venture into that 'dangerous' arena of flirting and sensuality. Crossing over into sex would be a different thing entirely.

Of course, we are all different. For some of us, 'crossing over' might just be 'coming home' !

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Stargirl]

I imagine that there are times when Nature/Magnetism present us with a person we simply don't wish to resist. The "equipment" isn't necessarily a factor when the energies gain momentum. A minor detail, and a challenge, perhaps, but mutual desire can overlook simple flesh. Humans can be incredibly inventive. The potential tumble into "an electric ocean of satisfaction" is something that many people wouldn't pass up, all things being equal.

[annekathleen]

I couldn't disagree with you all more....I'm only interested in women....

I just love wearing their clothes too... :)


When you say " I'd like to get into her pants, you really mean you'd like to get into her pants", and her panties, and her bra, and her blouse, and her stockings, and her high heels, and.........

[denise-x]

I totally agree with TricaO. I've been in the same position as you are. I am also married and my SO knows my feeling about dressing and totally against it.

Still I've been with my friend for several years and had these feelings about him. Ihave never had a relationship with a man up to this time.I discussed my feelings with him. His response was so whats stopping you. Well since that time I have seeing him as a woman and my wife is not in the loop. PS she knows my friend, but not our relationship.

So the only thing I can say is follow your heart. If the relationship gets to intimate you will know whether to continue or get out.
my:2c: for whatever it's worth.
:love: Denise

[Vicky_Scot]

I couldn't disagree with you all more....I'm only interested in women....

I just love wearing their clothes too... :)


I agree with you 100% Julia.

IMO if you are attracted to men when dressed, you are attracted to men when not dressed and are using your dressing as an excuse to mask your true feelings regarding your sexuality.


I totally agree with TricaO. I've been in the same position as you are. I am also married and my SO knows my feeling about dressing and totally against it.

Still I've been with my friend for several years and had these feelings about him. Ihave never had a relationship with a man up to this time.I discussed my feelings with him. His response was so whats stopping you. Well since that time I have seeing him as a woman and my wife is not in the loop. PS she knows my friend, but not our relationship.

So the only thing I can say is follow your heart. If the relationship gets to intimate you will know whether to continue or get out.
my:2c: for whatever it's worth.
:love: Denise

I have to ask you this Denise. Is what you are doing fair on your wife. Because she does not embrace your dressing you think it is acceptable to cheat on her, and even worse with a man.

I think you should take a good look at what you are doing and if it is what you want then do the decent thing and tell your wife that you do not want to be with her anymore.

Imagine the psychological effect on your poor wife if she finds out you are having an affair, bur what more is that it is with a man.

Sorry but the bottom line is your are a cheat and no one should support your actions. You seem very proud of the fact that your wife does not know or as you put it..........not in the loop.

Xx Vicky xX

[Carrie f]

I think most people, male & female have thought, even fleetingly about sex with their own gender. I forget the term for men who are not gay or bisexual, but desire to fellate or fondle another man, but nothing more. It is more of a primal lust than anything.

There is some role playing when dressed and it is not unnatural to think about taking that to it's logical conclusion, especially if in a bar or club atmosphere. But there is no 'next step', and everyone has to follow their own feelings and desires.

I know that on occassion I've thought about a man hitting on me, flirting with him etc. even to the point of bing intimate orally. But when I think of holding or kissing a man it's like a bucket of cold water. No way. And that's the end of that.

A few years ago, I met a good looking guy and we talked about women, sex, bi etc to the point of both admitting we were bi curious. I said I'd want to be dressed as a woman and he was ok with that. I was braver then, and we decided to get a room and find out. So we did and he gave me an hour to get ready. Long story short, on the bed I undressed him. When I touched him, I didn't enjoy it at all, and he didn't enjoy being touched by a man.
The room was paid for so we just talked. He got dressed, I still had my mini dress & make up on and we just talked for 3 - 4 hours. It was a great afternoon and we parted company knowing there's a huge difference between fantasizing about 'man to man' and being with a man. And neither of us wanted to be with a man. Fantasizing about that physical, sexual lust and being gay are two different things. Hope that helps. But maybe you need to find out for yourself, like I did.

[Sandi jo]

I would talk to your wife more and see if the two of you can figure out your relationship more and search more about how you really feel.

[denise-x]

Vickie

Yes you are right. However, you really, and, I didn't tell, the whole. I feel that the rest of it was too personal for an open thread. If you are really curious or want to know the rest of the story I would be more than happy to discuss thisin a PM.
:love:
Denise

[annekathleen]

Not all crossdressers are bi or bi-curious!

Not all bi guys or bi-curious guys like to wear women's clothing.

However, I "might" be!:devil:

[Sophie_C]

One thing I want to say to people who simply say she's getting "caught in the moment."

If she had been raised as a woman (or even was born GG), dressed always like one and lived as one, just like ANY girl, genetic or not, the same feelings would have came about.

So, this really has nothing to do with your crossdressing but everything to do with allowing yourself to be the woman your are and letting your emotions and feelings naturally take you where they naturally would go.

Now, being married (and especially having the fantasies you've had for a while now) I believe is very unfair to your wife, so you should look into ending that soon, but for everything else - it's really simple:

Just listen to your heart and emotions like any other woman would.

[brendaisagirl]

Think about those wedding vows, is the wife more important to you than the excitement of a maybe?

[annekathleen]

Faithfulness!
If you're married, STAY married!
If you're in a relationship, STAY in it!

Whether you're "curious" to be with another man or another women,
It's CHEATING!

Don't throw it all away just to settle some curiosities!

[MsJanGG]

Think about those wedding vows, is the wife more important to you than the excitement of a maybe?


quoting this because I totally agree with what you said!!!!
yes.. please think about the hurt you would cause your wife... in the end it wouldn't be worth the "excitement"... what is that saying...if you play with fire you will get burned...

be careful!!

[docrobbysherry]

Faithfulness!
If you're married, STAY married!
If you're in a relationship, STAY in it!
Whether you're "curious" to be with another man or another women,
It's CHEATING!
Don't throw it all away just to settle some curiosities!

AK is rite. 50% of marriages fail these days. Top two reasons; money and sex! If sex with your wife isn't good anymore, your marriage probably isn't either! Will having sex with a stranger improve things with your SO?

Everyone has fantasies. Not everyone acts on them! What effect will what u r thinking about doing, have on u and your wife in the future? I think u r on thin ice rite now!

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

well for me all i can think about for the past several years is to be used for other mens pleasure with no reguards for my own pleasure :o

[Esmerelda]

I have to say that I did make a commitment to my wife and would not cheat on her. I do have a desire to know how it feels to have a man inside me (I hope that was not too blunt) but I would never do anything without including my wife, so with that said it will likely not happen any time soon. I will continue to go out dressed as Esmerelda when I get chances, and I will probably continue t flirt with men that find the want to flirt with me. It just feels good and is a rush when it happens. when I was younger I had an encounter with a Crossdressed man that I met in a club, we kissed and she touched me and we did a couple things, but I was in the role of the man and she acted as a woman. its hard to explain but the kiss was stronger than any woman I had kissed to that point or ever. I don't know if it was that I knew she was a he or if kissing a man really is different. My wife does know about that encounter but it has never been brought up again after the original mention of it, and was many years before I knew her. I do not believe she would ever think that I enjoy being in the female role. we play games in bed but nothing that I would call abnormal. wow anyways this post has got way more personal than I had meant it to. I just wanted to be clear that I have no intention of cheating. thanks again for the responses

Esmerelda

[Butterfly Bill]

If he doesn't know your true sex and you pursue this further, you are cruising for a serious bruising. Men don't like being deceived, especially if they are homophobic. This kind of thing has been called "sudden discovery", and it has led to violence with some people. I would just quit going to that place in the future.

[surfdoc]

Funny you mentioned all this... I just left the house for the first time last night dressed. I met someone on Craigs list, by the way I do not recomend this, and went to his place. I have never had any desire to be with a guy before but last night just panned out. I have a new repect for actual girls now. This guy wanted to get laid and that is all. I did go all the way and would have enjoyed it more if he was better looking I guess. I have been sitting here all day pondering this whole thing. For some reason I tend to just want to be around other dressers or a ******* though havent found any nice ones to be around, they tend to be weirdos and do drugs. What ever happened to just grabbing a drink? Hanging out? Like I said, I have a new respect for girls whom guys force themselves on. Sorry for the long reply.