Whats wrong with us???

[Kayla Shadows]

Nothing!!!Despite some opinions I do not see what we are doing as wrong.Wrong is being someone your not for the sake of fitting in with what people say is "normal".And Ashamed? For me,the only thing to be ashamed about is being ashamed.We have the right to live our own life and do what feels right to us.Just because it isnt mainstream doesnt mean its not ok.There is always going to be someone who will have a problem with something someone else does.To me,thats their problem.Judgemental people will always be there to diagnose your "dysfuntion" or "disease" with what is known as crossdressing.Or to label you something based on actions of a few.Who you are comes down to the personality you hold,your beliefs and values.If you just be who you are,you are staying true to yourself and that matters the most.Thank you for reading:)

[TrekGirl1701]

Very well said!

That's exactly how I've been feeling this year. I don't remember how I found this website, but for some reason I decided to join. I guess it's because I reached a crossroad this year. I've been doing a lot of thinking on what I want to do with my life. I decided that I wanted to be happy and crossdressing makes me happy. Ever since I've been feeling less ashamed and more happy with myself. That hasn't happened in a while.

[DemonicDaughter]

You already know how much I agree with you and how proud I am of you! I love who you are and everything about you.

:love:,
DD

[Samantha43]

There is nothing wrong with us. Most people have little tolerance for behavior they believe is not normal. They see our "hobby" as something different and out of the main stream. I'm sure some see it as a perversion. They don't see it for what it really is, a very real need we have.

These perceptions aren't going to go away anytime soon, so each of us has to decide how we are going to express our needs. I am not comfortable going out into public, so I am very happily in the closet. :2c:

[Samantha B L]

There's really nothing wrong with it. This country is teeming with crossdressers. And I surely can't be too much different around the world and in other countries. It's not everybody but it's a lot of people. The figure is in the millions somewhere and it's not only m to f CDs. It's also f to m. I read a paperback book in 1979 or 1980 which I'm sorry to say I don't remember the title or the author's name. This book was all about TG/TS/CD case histories. The author was a Psychiatrist or some other kind of Medical Doctor or Psychologist. The main point that was made in this book was that TG/TS/CD people aren't crazy or perverted. As for me,I never thought so in the first place,I've been dressing since I was 11 or 12, but it was a big reassurance to find that for once the latest statistics were on my side!

[Brynna M]

There is nothing wrong with doing what we do as cross dressers.

With that said there is something wrong with hurting people. One of the things I worry about is what would "comming out" do to the people I care about. The people I know would stick by me. Would my mom feel she had messed up somehow. Would my friends feel awkward around me even though they wouldn't abandon me.

I'm not a bad person but i would never want the fact that i'm different to cause other people undue discomfort.

B

[Nicki B]

What's wrong with us? We're too wrapped up in what other people might think of us...

[jessielee]

Dear DD's Girl,
what's wrong with them?
one of my favorite poets is Robert Service, the Bard of the North, whose The Men Who Don't Fit In was what i once wanted on my not too distant future headstone. my outlook has changed, i don't identify anymore as much with me or with such morosity! still like Leonard Cohen, so sue me. its true we don't fit but there's another reason than just assuming the minority is wrong or defective, as i "knew" all my life!
instead, we are the visionaries, the dreamers of dreams.
not appreciated yet, we carry a light for the future
and for now.
thanks for asking,
jessie

[victoriamwilliams1]

I just had this discussion with some people at work who do not know about my other side, what I told them is that any people are CD/TG/TS I know of many successful people and many church leaders are also TG.

I think there's nothing wrong with us and I think with positive images people will not be as judgmental.

[Deborah Jane]

Nothing as far as i,m concerned!! We are just normal people with a slightly differant slant on life!! Nothing more!!

[Amy Hepker]

It seems to me that we are programmed to be of the sex we have. Meaning that we are brought up as Males or Females by the organs we have with no thought of what are brains really are. The whole world needs to step up to the real truth, that our minds do not always fit our bodies. The biggest problem is that you have people running around ruining our reputation by posing as females to break laws or to hurt others. This is not good for us that are trying to make it in the real world as our real selves. Many of us are hard pressed to pass as a female and we are trying hard to fit in anyway, then you have some idiot through on a wig and rob a place and all CDers get the blame.

[Sarah Doepner]

It's been many years since Crossdressing has been edited out of the handbook of psychological disorders. The psychiatric community know this isn't a disease or a psych problem. The trouble is with the rigid folks who can't find a way to understand or accept this behavior. They comprise a huge majority and until the people who believe this is wrong are a minority, we will be in the same place we are now.
In short, what's wrong with us is we and those who accept us are not a big enough part of the population yet. When that day comes, the critics will have to find some other minority to look down on.

[Sandi jo]

I think you all are great

[EDNA]

I have been Crossdressing since I was Eight and I have been real happy. About doing so and everything that I have done. There is nothing wrong. For Men to Crossdress and they have the right to do so. I know in my case. I was not happy. Dressing as a Male and doing Male things. Also I doing not care. What other people think of me and what I have done.

[Eugenie]

Indeed we are doing nothing intrinsically wrong when x-dressing. I'm convinced of that quite sincerely.

However, it is very often the case that our x-dressing is hurting the feelings of people we love around us...

It is a difficult balance to reach between enjoying our crossdressing and yet respecting the preferences of our S/Os, or thoses of our immediate families.

Most of us struggle more or less to arrive at a good equilibrium between out famililives and our desires to live "en femme" full time...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Kelsy]

We dont play by the rules!!!!:battingeyelashes:

Kelsy:daydreaming:

[Alicia_lynn419]

Wow.. great post and great replies.... there is nothing "wrong" with us, but at times it can get real lonely.. feeling like it's "us against them..." With one obvious difference, I'm no different than anyone else, and want the same as everyone else... but sometimes its like carrying the plague - you are shunned and on the outskirts.

[Lisa Golightly]

Shame? You have to buy into the dross to feel you're outside the drones.

[sally Dickson]

Yep i totally agree, the only thing that is 'wrong ' with myself is that i am really too 'man looking' hands like shovels and sticking out lug 'oles.
I am struggling at the moment with my other self trying to accept the fact that i do like femme clothes- i think it is the 'shame/guilt' factor kicking in when i do dress as i am married. I think by now she has sussed the fact that I do dress in private after finding undies- we had a talk and i said i need to talk to someone about it, so i met a nurse/practioner for councelling at our surgery which helped loads. she confirmed like on here there is NOTHING wrong with liking femail attire-its the hiding and secrecy that causes so much stress and the fear of losing a partner in revealing the fact.

[Josie Angel]

Thank you so much for starting this thread! It is very empowering to hear all this. Some of it I already know and believe, but needed to be reminded. My goal is to become so confident that other people's opinions no longer affect my life the way they do now.

[sissystephanie]

It is those who make comments, or give dirty looks, etc. who have the problem. Like some others, I have been crossdressing since about age 8. That means I have exhibited a feminine streak for almost 70 years. So what? Yes, I was "in the closet" for part of that time. But before I got married, I told my intended and she was very supportive during our 49+ years together. She has passed on now, but the only thing that has changed is that now I go out in public looking like a man, but wearing feminine clothes. I do it all the time, and go everywhere. If people don't like the way I look, don't look at me!

I do agree that we should not hurt people with the way we dress, so I do not do it in front of my grown children. To the best of my knowledge, they don't know I crossdress. That is the one thing my dear wife insisted on, and we kept it that way all the time.

Sissy/Stephanie

Girl on the outside, man underneath!

[Kate Simmons]

Beats me. Some people are never happy unless they have something to complain about no matter what it is. I never ask for "permission" to be myself. They can take it or leave it as far as I'm concerned. As was mentioned, the only real shame is being ashamed to be one's self.

[Bravesoul]

that's what I want to know too. what gives society the right to hold captive? lock in my closet.
:dammit:

[Nicki B]

that's what I want to know too. what gives society the right to hold captive? lock in my closet.
:dammit:

Only that you gave it to them? :strugglin

[Bravesoul]

Only that you gave it to them? :strugglin


you are so right. but, i don't have the will to fight it, like many of us here.:sad:

[Kayla Shadows]

Thank you all so much.And its great to meet you all.No matter what people say I still think were doing just fine.Yes,there are right and wrong ways of anything you do.Hurting people isnt good..but with anything,there are always two sides.In some cases,is hurting yourself to please others right either?Because what about you? In instances that we can control,dont we have the right to be happy too?Its all in what that word freedom means to you.And how far you will go to grasp it.

[Carly D.]

I've thought about this question.. I mean there is something wrong with crossdressing, or at least everyone that doesn't thinks that way.. and it is that feeling that I want to avoid.. that question as well as "are you gay?" .. the two most common questions asked of the crossdresss community, it seems..

[shirley1]

i used to feel the same way to an extent but now i just think what the hell if people think i'm gay so what ! i tell you what gay guys get plenty of female attention friendships ect - which is more than i'm gettin at the moment ! i' just slowly but surely gettin to the point now where i just dont give a damn what people think anymore - i still have my moments of paranioa and guilt trips but i'm getting over it !

[TrekGirl1701]

I'm getting to the point where I actually wouldn't mind anybody I know finding out. I used to be so afraid of somebody discovering this other side of me that I would purge and force myself to not think about crossdressing. But now I just feel like what's the point of doing that? Now I fear that something will happen to me mentally if I keep my crossdressing tendencies locked up. I've been through depression before and it sucked. I don't ever want to go through that again. Crossdressing makes me happy and if other people can't understand that then it's their problem. Although I'd be happy to explain to them why if they'd be willing to listen.

[Katie Ashe]

You said it. To me there is no such thing as "Normal". There is Typical. znormal defines as being something expected, typical is more the state of being as balanced. We as the rainbow crowd are typical and could be considered normal, if oppinions were more open minded. There is nothing wrong with us!

I think someone said somewhere:
It is dangerous to be right on a subject on which the established authorities are wrong.
There is a contradiction between normal in the sense of being like the majority of people, and normal in the psychological sense of having a balanced attitude

In behavior, normal refers to a lack of significant deviation from the average. The phrase "not normal" is often applied in a negative sense (asserting that someone or some situation is improper, sick, etc.). Abnormality varies greatly in how pleasant or unpleasant this is for other people; somebody may half-jokingly be called "pleasantly disturbed".

The Oxford English Dictionary defines "normal" as 'conforming to a standard'. This, although almost right, is not entirely correct. "A normal" is someone who conforms to the ideals of society. This can be for any number of reasons, ranging from the positive (genuine admiration for and acceptance of society's standard, for example) to the negative (fear of humiliation, fear of rejection, fear of being thought mad).

The way I see it is, "Be yourself", as long as your not hurting anyone, it's normal behavior.

[Farrah]

There is nothing wrong with doing what we do as cross dressers.

With that said there is something wrong with hurting people. One of the things I worry about is what would "comming out" do to the people I care about. The people I know would stick by me. Would my mom feel she had messed up somehow. Would my friends feel awkward around me even though they wouldn't abandon me.

I'm not a bad person but i would never want the fact that i'm different to cause other people undue discomfort.

B
I agree with you. I do not want to hurt the people around me. I do not want to lose the relationship that I have with this people b/c of cding. I'm sure some things would change. Even though they may say it doesnt, but deep down it has to, they are only human.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Point one: Therapists have finally decided we are just different and usually don't try to fix us (unless they are CHRISTIAN counsellors), simply fix some of our bad relational behavior. All breathing individuals suffer from SOME bad relational behavior.

Point two: There are always people that have narrow comfort zones and can't function with the least bit of discomfort, so they spend their lives making the rest of us as miserable as they are as they try to "fix" everyone else so they are comfortable again.

Point three: There are always gonna be some people around who are educated beyond their own intelligence and "know" what we are even if it goes against rational examination (example....conclusion:we put on a dress, then we must want men sexually, which doesn't explain why a lesbian in a dress still wants a woman. Shouldn't she want a man then if the conclusion is correct?)

One day a light went on in my head and I said "Everyone thinks I'm great as long as I am in guy mode, and being in fem mode I am no different in my actions or being so who are the persons with the problem here?", and quit caring what others thought in general. I try to accommodate family members covered in point two because I love them, but otherwise here's a quarter, call someone who cares!

Emily Ann

[Cassy11]

Whats wrong with us?, nothing. We just love to do someting that others think is out of the norm. How many GG's think their husbands are nuts for the way they think about golf or the sports fan that covers their body with paint the colors of their local sports team. I look at some shirtless fan painted silver and black and ask, whats wrong with him?

[Kayla Shadows]

Yeah,I dont care too much for what people think.If they think Im a freak,cool,thanks for the compliment. :battingeyelashes: Being "normal" doesnt seem like much fun.There are those people who I would rather just not tell (family and friends who only know one side)but Its usually best that the person your with knows.It may save a lot of problems down the line.

[VeronicaH]

You go gurl!

Veronica :battingeyelashes:

[MJ]

great thread and thank you . there is nothing wrong with us . i think we are all great and amazing people :love: