Over the shoulder...

[Lisa Golightly]

I've been on hormones for 8 months, and I've been out and about for 24 years, yet tonight for the first time I felt vunerable walking home for the first time at 1.30 am... Hormones or age? What do ya reckon?

[kerrianna]

Maybe bit of both, hon, but really at 1:30 am a beautiful woman like you SHOULD be looking over her shoulder.

It's a sad truth of this world. Women and children are still preyed on way too often.

I'm sorry to have to make that remark on International Women's Day... but that's kind of why there still needs to be a IWD.

Do take care hon. :hugs:

[GypsyKaren]

Lisa, welcome to the real world. When I lived as a guy, all I had to worry about was maybe getting punched in the nose and robbed, now that I've had my SRS, I get to worry about getting dragged into an alley and raped, thank you so very much. I am always aware of my surroundings, my radar is always on, I keep a real mean knife in my purse at all times, and I'm not afraid to use it...welcome to womanhood!

Karen Starlene :star:

[Lisa Golightly]

Thanks Kerrianna and Karen for your replies... I guess I'm subconsciously re-evaluating my survival instincts.

[Nicki B]

Lisa, trust your instincts. IMHO you do feel it, when people are watching?


xx

[Scotty]

I was going to reply last night but now I'm awake...

If your instincts are telling you something was wrong, something IS wrong.

The human eye can detect things hundreds of yards away and subconsciously process it. - a snipers nest, a person hiding somewhere - anything - that tingly feeling on the back of your neck is the fight or flight instinct....

While you may not recognize it consciously your subconscious does - the military trains people to watch for that stuff....

Where I live we can carry a pistol legally, concealed, and if I go to seattle I do carry one as it's a bit scary over there at night in some places....

Martial arts training is a help as well, good for the mind and body, and confidence....I train 4 days a week but still would be extremely cautious going anywhere alone, let alone en femme.

Do be careful, maybe re-evaluate your routine and change some things in it...

I would also consider carrying a can of pepper spray, if it's legal over there...

[Amy Hepker]

Area???

[melissaK]

My thoughts were same as Scottie - its was probably a real threat you picked up on regardless of dress or hormones. Smell, sound, vision - all can trigger that unidentified fear - flight/fight instinct.

I am pretty cool and fearless and usually identify threats. But sometimes it doesn't work that way. Once I had that tingle camping and I couldn't identify why, (I was a forestor/field researcher - sleeping out was a way of life for several years do it wasn't normal woods noises) so I chose flight - I packed up a campsite in record time and moved on . . .

hugs,
lissa

[Christine Kelly]

If your instincts are telling you something was wrong, something IS wrong.

The human eye can detect things hundreds of yards away and subconsciously process it. - a snipers nest, a person hiding somewhere - anything - that tingly feeling on the back of your neck is the fight or flight instinct....

While you may not recognize it consciously your subconscious does - the military trains people to watch for that stuff....


I could not agree with this more.
If you have a feeling that something is wrong, you have to trust yourself and become more aware.
Good luck.

[Sally24]

I was going to say hormones when I thought back to last week. I parked at 1 in the afternoon in a parking garage but got delayed longer than I thought. I finally headed out to my car, alone, after 9:30pm. I had to walk thru part of Boston Common which has known some crime in the last few years. I became aware, for the first time since going out in public, that I was at risk. I kept alert, ready to kick off my slip on shoes, and run.........but didn't have to. There is safety in numbers, even for us big girls who have been around awhile.........

Be safe out there Lisa!

[Lisa Golightly]

I think it's time to give up being a singleton... Tanks for the replies and advice :) xxx

[flatlander_48]

Society tends to give women very different messages about security, challenges, physical competency, etc. Intellectually we know that it is just so much B/S, but it can be very hard to separate from that notion...

[melissaK]

Discussed this thread some w/ my SO. She reminded me that a lot of fear triggers also occur when you are in a situation with some aspect of it very similar to one where you were threatened or hurt in the past. Thought it worth mentioning.

hugs,
'lissa

[Michelle Hart]

As most of you know I like to go out a lot and I always go where I KNOW I'll be pretty safe.

A lot of times though I get really scared and stuff when I walk to my car at night to go home. Somtimes guys will pull up and give me the "hey baby" like I'm some hooker which is really gross but it still scares the hell out of me.

I always park in valet or in a well lit lot. Have my mace with me and keep my eyes and ears open.

The other night I was with some girls from work and when we left they were in their car watching me to make sure I was ok. So I get in and it's dark and I couldn't find my keys, I was so freaked out!!

It all worked out but still... Being a woman has it's pitfals but if you just stay aware of where you are and what's going on you'll do fine.

I always worry some sleazy guy is gonna spike my drink more than getting grabed in the parking lot.

[Lisa Golightly]

Have to admit Michelle I think I was more sppoked by the traffic coming up behind me than the gothic undergrowth around me... L x

[kerrianna]

Women always look out for each other. I've noticed my coworkers even look out for me, and I'm still male in their eyes. Maybe a pretty 'soft' male. :p

But I appreciate it.
I am in the process of retraining my brain for when (if) I do go fulltime. Although I've always been super cautious anyway. I hate being on the street at night and being lit up by headlights when you have no idea who (or what) is in that car. I've always tried to stay invisible to stay safe. I think the biggest difference is I might have to reconsider how I travel completely. A single female, at any time of the day, is at risk in some areas. It's sad that we live in such a world.

And also a world where, like Michelle says, you have to watch your drink all the time. :straightface:

[Dalece]

With things going on in this world today. I would be looking over my shoulder. do even when in my work uniform. Please be careful.

[jessielee]

yes, dear,
please be careful.
its such a shame the way the world has gone but i am glad there is strength in sisterhood and for the solidarity shown you here.
if i were closer, i'd be your wing girl anytime.
thanks for your thoughtful post,
jessie

[jex111]

I'd say a combination, I always feel far more vulnerable when dressed and try to plan safe populated routes

[Emily Ann Brown]

I think maybe your brain is developing more as you get older.


Emily Ann

[Cai]

It's just a good idea to be aware of your surroundings, especially at night. I always try to project an attitude of "I know exactly where I am, I know exactly where I'm going, and I belong here" no matter what.

I don't let fear run my life - I won't refuse to go out at night, for example. But you use caution and common sense.