What reaction did your S.O.have when they caught yo cding for the first time

[dominique]

Hi girls I want to know the reaction of your S.O. was when they caught you out cding. Also how you worked it out.

[Michelle04240]

I came out to my wife slowly. I first told her of my love for panties.

Her initial reaction? She was speechless at first. There was mostly an awkward silence as I told my tale. She left to take a shower and when she got back she reached down my pants, put her hand on my satin covered behind (I was still on the bed from our talk) and started to talk. That very night at Wal-Mart she bought my a pair of black satin panties. Within a few days, I had a few more pairs of panties and tossed all my male underwear.

The under things seemed to come easy, with the exception of a bra. But stockings, garters, and loads of panties came quickly.

I guess it was the following Valentines day when she knew I wanted more then underwear. We saw a cute red satin chemise at Penny's and I said something like Ooohh..red..satin..sexy"
Later I send her a txt that said the same thing. She got it for me. Months later after much resistance I had my first bra, and a bit later,after what seemed like still more resistance I got my first skirt.

I had my underwear. I had my sleepwear. I had my clothes. The gates then opened and I (we) shopped freely. I took it slowly and never pushed that had as I crossed each line. I love her and she knows it. She won $300. at bingo last night, we are going shopping later today :)

[StephanieH]

My simple advice, don't let her "catch" you doing anything, because that implies you're doing something behind her back or something you ought not do.

I came out to my wife before I started pursuing my little lifelong perversion and I'm certain that made a lot of difference in how it was received. Nobody likes having things hidden from them, especially something of a very personal nature like this. Be honest, you will be rewarded for it.

Take care and God bless. :D

[MWCMDarlene]

If I remember correctly, the 1st time I was caught, we were newlyweds & attending college. She came home early from class one day and caught me in one of her two-piece black teddies. She asked what i was doing and I just explained that I was dressing up for her to surprise her for a hot time of *^&@%^#^@^. I don't think that she suspected anything that was happening and I didn't tell her about my "habit".

Through the years, I would wear her things while she was gone to work or out of town. Occasionally, I would stash one of her bras and wear it stuffed with socks when I got up in the morning, a couple of hours before she would. She would find it, but I always made up some stupid excuse as to why it was hidden where it was.

A few years later, she finally confronted me with what I was doing. She asked the usual questions and I tried to explain as best as i could that this was something that i had been doing since I was about 12-13 years old. I told her I wished that i could stop, had tried on and off but that the desire keeps coming back. She told me she was dead set against it and didn;t want me doing it in front of her or the kids and if the kids ever caught me, the marriage would be over and if i was going to do it to stay out of her clothes. Before I long i did buy my first bra, but didn't have the courage to buy anything else of my own, so i would just "borrow" hers. (I know shame on me)

To this day, she has only "caught" me a few times, wearing a bra stuffed with water balloons. When she does, I know what to do, take it off immediately. She still hate what I do, but she doesn't say anything about it. She knows that i do dress up on occassion when know one is at home, but over the past few weeks, I have almost been caught in full dress by her, one of my kids, and even other family members, but have been lucky. I know, the odds are stacked against me and keeping my secret, but I'll keep trying. Sorry so long.

[Julia Welch]

My simple advice, don't let her "catch" you doing anything, because that implies you're doing something behind her back or something you ought not do.

I came out to my wife before I started pursuing my little lifelong perversion and I'm certain that made a lot of difference in how it was received. Nobody likes having things hidden from them, especially something of a very personal nature like this. Be honest, you will be rewarded for it.

Take care and God bless. :D

Randi,

It's not a perversion.....it's just a hobby we enjoy..:)

[traceyanne]

my ex wife first found my stash years ago, her first thoughts were who's the other woman, so i told her i liked to wear them, went down like a lead balloon. that was the way it went.
divorced and now married to my current wife whom i told from the off, she couldnt be more different as she accepts me for who i am and she encourages me in most of my dressing, we have our mutual limits that we are both happy with.

[Melanie R]

One month after we were first married (in 1980) I told my wife about Melanie. She wanted to meet Melanie. The next day I dressed completely head to toe when she came home from her job as principal of a school. She took one look at me and remarked, "you need my help". She then started me on her designed two week course on how to dress, put on makeup and look and act like a woman. After total rejection from a first wife, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Four years later my wife completed her first of four books on crossdressing, My Husband Wears My Clothes. The rest is history.

[JoAnnDallas]

When I first told my wife, she asked a few questions and then got real quite. This went on for a few days. I was nervious because I had CD friends whos wife found out and it was not a pretty picture. So I kept waiting for the other foot to drop. Then after a few days she tells me she is OK with it all, as long as she does not have to see me fully dressed or pictures of me fully dressed. She also told me I could have a Saturday afternoon to be other self. So we comprimised and so far it is working out. She knows I goto my Tri-Ess group, but I have to get dressed there.

[Sarah**Jane GG]

Hi girls I want to know the reaction of your S.O. was when they caught you out cding. Also how you worked it out.

My partner came out to me within a couple of weeks of being together. We were just having a giggly chat about anything and everything and before I knew it she had casually brought up the subject...... ''so what do u think about men who dress in womens clothes?''

I wasn't expecting such a question lol but being laid back as I am, I just told him, doesn't bother me I think lol. I then asked ''so have you ?''

Well the rest is history as they say :daydreaming:
Not to say we haven't had our ups and downs cos we have but communication is the key, talk about anything the bothers u.

:):):):)

Hugs
Sarahxxx

[Eugenie]

Hi girls I want to know the reaction of your S.O. was when they caught you out cding. Also how you worked it out.

The first time it was quite early in oure mariage. I had not told her before because I thought that x-dressing would disapear after having regular sexual relations...

My wife took it very well in the early phases... After all, in her mind it was just a sexual fantazy and in those days of sexual liberation (early seventies) where was the problem?...

Later on when she realized that I wanted to wear more than just women panties, girdles and bras, it became a lot more problematic...

Well 39 years have passed now and we are still together, althought it meant going through some rather severe crisis...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Kelsy]

I didn't get caught. I told my wife before we were married. It was the best decision I ever made and I owe it all to the girls on this site where I found encouragement to be truthful about myself. The advise was right on!!:hugs:

Kelsy:)

[Maureen]

Tears. Lot's of tears.

While she is very supportive, shopping for anything that I need, there is a sadness that has never gone away. She lost the man she thought she married.

[SandyR]

In bed one night. She Says "so how long you been a crossdresser?". Gulp......since I tried on my mom's pantyhoses at 12. She looks at me and says "what I don't get is how do you find size 11 heels...".

SandyR

[MJ]

I didn't get caught per say . my wife was told and this person had proof .. well she was very upset. mad as hell.. and i was told to leave . it was all over 21 years just like that .. but the first time my wife saw me en femme was in court .. as did the judge .. and that was 3 years ago and sadly we have never seen each other since.
i sure envy all who's S.O is accepting .. i guess you can't win them all

[Staci]

My wife never caught me as I told her when we were still dating. I did not dress fully at the time. Just nylon panties and nightgowns. It gradually became more and more. Now she will even help me with my make-up.

[marny]

I started very slowly and let the idea sink in over time. It has been five years now since my wife first saw me wear boobs in bed. Things became very quiet when I first wore them down to read the paper in the morning. I wore polish on my toenails for two years before I started with the boobs. Now I am dressed almost all of the time at home. I mentioned in a post last night that I wore a dress to dinner and it was well received. Just waiting for the right time to go to the next level. I definetly have to do something about the hair. :D

[dominique]

Thanks for replies, it seems it depends on your S.O's attitude and the willingness of each other to work things out. I know the initial shock must be the worst feeling in the world for the both partners eg hurt etc. It gives me hope that I will be able to answer her pointed and emotional questions and out bursts. Thanks.

[TGMarla]

I've not been "caught" per se, but my wife did find out. She's found clothing stashed here and there, and slowly, the whole thing came out. One day her son came home while I was dressed. It was just after Marv Albert got caught in that hotel room, and that's how I explained it to him. He told my wife, because that's what kids do. Very uncomfortable! I wound up writing her a 5-page letter detailing how I had done this since age 12, and that I would likely do this the rest of my life. It had caused a serious situation between us that has now blown over for the most part. I don't deny to her that I crossdress, and she doesn't press me on it. I don't flaunt it in front of her, either.

Somehow, and some way, it's best to tell. As they say, a secret is only safe between two people when one of them is dead.

[TracyH]

Luckily I have never been caught. On the other hand, I've told a few girlfriends. The range of reactions has been from one girl who immediately started to throw it back in my face every time we had an argument to the current girlfriend who will pick me out things while she's shopping alone.

Of course, I did have one friend who just turned to me while we were watching tv and said out of (seemingly) nowhere, "You know, you would make a good crossdresser because you have the body for it." I could only respond with "It's funny you should say that..."

[MsJoann]

At the time, my GF of 2 years had found tags from a bra/panty set and asked who the "other woman" was.
She totally caught me off-guard without ANY excuse. What could I do but come clean and tell her that I had a fetish for women's undies. What else could I say? (little did she know what else).
Things progressed over the past 11 years including 3 drawers full of undies/bras etc. without much other than her thinking that I have a "fetish".
I remember the first time she saw me wearing women's levis. She sarcastically said that soon I would be asking for a sex-change. Hmm...
Currently all my jeans are women's...I love them...jackets, tops, slacks are out in the open at my home.
A few months back, she saw my fully dressed pic which I used as a desktop background on the screen. She freaked and there were tears...lots of them.
She knows what I'm doing but not to the extent of knowing that I do out in public with my t-friends.
She still loves to bust me when she finds different things..i.e., wig catalogs etc....but she takes the attitude "what I don't know won't hurt me". Kind of like the ostritch sticking it's head in the sand.
So sorry, she does not want to communicate. Her comments confuse me at times.

I forgot to add......there was one other time when I had went out wearing the silver lurex mini (in my avatar pic here).
I returned home wearing it under a loose shirt with a necklace. I found her home before I was....without time to change and I was trapped. She was freaked and still talks about it today.
I think very soon, she is going to meet JoAnn, and it ain't going to be a pretty adventure.
A lot of her confusion is me keeping a secret from her...and the possibility of her man leading a secret life. I'm sure I'm not alone.

[JoAnnDallas]

I have slowly been wearing some fem things while at home in front of the wife. Then last Christmas, she bought me a PINK robe, PINK Satin PJ's, and PINK slippers. It finially has gotten warm enough that I wore my PINK Satin PJ's to bed this past weekend. Right after my wife found out about my fem side, we were in Walmart and I was looking at the Hanes t-shirt/shorts counter. I asked if I could get some for last summer. Wife looked and said OK. So I got five t-shirts and five shorts. Last summer, she asked me why I wore socks to the nail salon, when everyone there saw my polished toes anyway, so I started just wearing my open toe sandels with no sock to the nail salon.
All in all, I am slowly adding more and more fem items to my every day wear and the wife seems to be OK with it. Wife seems to be OK with all of this, as I wear no makeup, wig, or boobs. Guess as long as I still look male from neck up, she is happy. The only time I can wear a wig, boobs, and makeup is when I goto my Tri-Ess meeting and I have to dress there and change back before I re-enter the house later that evening.

[nikki47]

I told my wife long before we got married,i thought it only fair as i didn't think it would be fair for her to find out after we were married.Initially she was very supportive,encouraging me and helping me to buy clothes and showing me how to apply my makeup.This continued for quite a few years until we had a family and the chance to dress became limited while raising a family,although i used to dress or just wear my sexy underwear,i never got many opportunities to spend the day dressed as Nikki,but as my family have grown up,i have recently started again dressing up and spending the day all made up,it feels so good .My wife is now more relaxed about me dressing again,just like she used to be,she was so nervous that our children would find out.
So my life is so good again.

Nikki

[bibrian]

I have never been caught. Shortly after we met I told my gf that I liked to wear lingerie - panties, thongs, garter belts, stockings etc. She was very supportive and encourages me to dress up for her. She is taking me to the next step by helping me buy a wig, advising me on make up and how to walk more like a female. Our plan is for me to dress fully in blouse, skirt and heels so we can go out in public together as two ladies. I think I am very fortunate to have such an open-minded partner.

[Sandi jo]

After I told her I'd like to try wearing things she asked if I thought I was gay then if how far I was going to take it.Two things that I think most GGs bring up at first.That was long ago we are very happy together now after all these years.

[Joan Merrie]

I told her before we married. Now 18 years later I'm going to start HRT, with her support. She is the best thing that has ever happend to me, the 2nd best is my very supportive daughter, who is 16 now. :):hugs:

[undiewearer]

We were separated, living apart and in the middle of divorce proceedings. My wife took pity on me (she said) and called round to do my washing for me. Consequently, when I got home she wanted to know who's lingerie was in the wash basket. When I explained that I loved to dress up at home she laughed (Friendly, not maliciously) and asked why I'd never told her. Since then we've remained the best of friends and go shopping together for our 'girlie' things

[TSchapes]

Our very first date, I was dressed as Elvira, of course this was during Halloween (otherwise known as "All Crossdressers Day"). She knew up front. But I don't think she really knew what it would entail.

[Seville]

Randi,

It's not a perversion.....it's just a hobby we enjoy..:)

Amen to that!

My wife was told BEFORE we were married...30 years later,
no problems!

Ooops! Just one. She won't let me go to BE-ALL! :argue:

[JenniferR771]

Our relationship is tense at times. She was not happy when she came home early, and caught me wearing her clothes in the bedroom. As i recall there was some profanity--the seven nasty words and then some.

Counseling, but not much help. I dragged her kicking and screaming into my cd world. Eventually she was OK with support group meetings. But I have to change at the meetings. She wants me to get rid of all my stuff--and threatens to discard certain things at times.

[Seville]

Our relationship is tense at times...As i recall there was some profanity--the seven nasty words and then some...She wants me to get rid of all my stuff--and threatens to discard certain things at times.

How sad! I presume the seven nasty words as:

D I V O R C E

I hope everything works out for you, dear.

Keep a Positive attitude!

[Edwina]

I have had no reaction at all. I have told the story elsewhere of her coming home early and seeing me in bra and skirt in the bathroom getting ready to take off my makeup. She just said "oh!" and went in to another room until I changed and then greeted me normally.
I have tried to start a conversation about it and offered to let her see a photo but she was not interested.
Since then life has continued as if it hadn't happened at all.

Edwina

[april lynn]

I told my so when we frist met and she accepted it from day one. she will be my wife on April 6th. She encourages and helps me get dress and put my make up on:hugs::thumbsup::love:

[terri jane]

I didnt tell my wife at first because i hadnt been cding in years but early in our relationship we had a sex thing where i would wear her stuff and this was fantastic made marriage seem perfect. but i could not come out and say i was a crossdresser couldnt even tell myself that. emabaressment and new born made that fade away and even bringing up the dressing in bed was told orget it. would then dress in secret. had a friend who came out as wanting sex change to wife and i admired his honesty. i had been wearing panties regularly for years w/o wife even noticing. came out to her about panties and wanting t shave. at first she was ok but then she started to worry about me wanting sex change or being gay. off to counseling i tole her that in my past i had been bi and that i had a fascination for fem things since childhood. i know she contemplated leaving but old me to stop wearing anything of hers which was rare but i then purged and we went into the out of site out of mind dont talk dont ask mentality and have been that way since 2 years. As u know i miss dressing and wish my wife was of a different mind set. this is such a part of me and would just love to share this with my best friend. i know she fell in love with a man and this is the picture i originally gave her but this is who i am and am so tired of hiding it. it is just hard for me t understand her mind but i doubt if i understand her either.