Meeting others? From your undisclosed location?

[bEEb]

So many girls don't reveal their town (state even)?
And then say they "want to meet others".
Even worse they publish some fictional place such as "Fantasyland" etc... Dumb? Scared ? Ignorant?

[Kelsy]

They may want to meet others on thier own terms. Dumb? Scared ? Ignorant?
How about smart or private. Do you think it would be wise to post your street address, apt number, and phone number too??

Kelsy:doh:

[bEEb]

Private? Maybe.
Smart? Not even close.
Why hide if you want to be found?
Even "way east" there are a few thousand towns and cities and 30 or 40 million people to hide amongst.
Street address and phone number?
Sounds like a "wise" reply to me.

[Carrie f]

It's true, if you want to meet another girl, you have to give some details, without being too specific. I still need to be fairly discreet so I'm not too specific, but when I say 'eastern Canada' that means the east coast to people who live here and is a small area with a population of less than a large city.

If I lived in Toronto for instance, I would not list Ontario as my home as it is too big an area and population. The city of Toronto offers plenty of anonymity itself.

Sorry, rambling on here ... point I'm trying to make is, your degree of anonymity is relative to the place / population you live in. And you're right, many of us could be a little more definite about the area we live in.

[Michelle04240]

It takes a lot of time for some just to post here, never mind reveal where they are. People are free to cross each hurdle as they see fit.

I am always on the lookout for friends, and would love to hang out with a few people here. I keep in the back of my mind where some are and if ever in that neck of the woods..who knows.


So many girls don't reveal their town (state even)?
And then say they "want to meet others".
Even worse they publish some fictional place such as "Fantasyland" etc... Dumb? Scared ? Ignorant?

Which town...or state is it you are from? I just noticed..you ask this question and have no town and 2 different states listed yourself..

Am I the only one to find this a bit funny?

:D

[Kate Simmons]

I don't have a problem sharing personal information with those I have confidence in. Usually the intentions and purpose for that sharing are pretty much understood beforehand. I've talked to and met several folks from here with no problems. :)

[erickka]

Privacy is a must nowadays. Look at all the horror stories that we hear of on the news that start on the internet in chat rooms or forums. I am glad that this forum has a P.M. system ,so that we can be a little more discreet with our correspondence with each other. There is also the "out" factor, which a lot of us girls would like to avoid at all costs, so being general in location can be a "less is more" scenario. This is just my:2c: on this subject. No offense to anyone intended. Erickka

[bEEb]

I give a generalized enough geographic area to enable a reasonably intelligent person to understand my whereabouts. The towns here are so small most folks from either state have never heard of them. I only describe it as I do to avoid missing those who may be near enough in EITHER state.
OK so here ya go. ANTIOCH ILLINOIS! It's the nearest town of any size.
Aw gee.... :sad: now my "privacy" has been compromised.
And honestly... I don't live there either. I am in an unincorporated rural area.
Uh-Oh! :eek: Now they are really gonna be able to pinpoint me!
To clarify: Most websites have categorized searches by state. Living on "the cusp" presents difficulties in attempting to reach the largest nearby geograpic area. I attempt to claim both states in order to maximize my exposure. Granted, it could cause more confusion than help.

[Priscilla Ann]

Some people don't reveal their town or state and some people don't reveal their face.

[Julia Welch]

Let me see? ....you are listed as in two states (although you have just clarified this), your avatar looks very sinister and Hannibal Lectorish (although you do not show your face) and yet you want everybody here to identify themselves better.....Why?

Firstly, not everyone here wants to meet other members, and those that do have and will take the necessary steps to meet.

I do not show any picture of myself because that is my choice, I do not wish casual surfers to see me....in case you need reminding, the internet can be a dangerous place.

I have listed my rough location for others to see so I can be contacted by someone near to me, should they/I wish to make such a meeting.

I hope this helps your understanding a little better.
Julia.

[bEEb]

Let me see? ....you are listed as in two states (although you have just clarified this), your avatar looks very sinister and Hanibal Lectorish(although you do not show your face) and yet you want everybody here to identify themselves better.....Why?

What's MY appearance got to do with the thread?
Where did I EVER ask for people to "Identify themselves better"?

Firstly, not everyone here wants to meet other members, and those that do have and will take the necessary steps to meet.

Didn't say anything in my original post that has anything to do with that statement..

I do not show any picture of myself because that is my choice, I do not wish casual surfers to see me....in case you need reminding, the internet can be a dangerous place.

It is "my choice" to show a sinister pic instead of a cartoon like you.
I never questioned why people don't show certain kinds of pics.
You need not remind me of anything.

I have listed my rough location for others to see so I can be contacted by someone near to me, should they/I wish to make such a meeting.
There ya go, at least you give a "rough" location.:thumbsup:
Why bother with the "southwest" part in your "Southwest Conn" location? Heck, the county I live in is as big as your whole state :D.

I hope this helps your understanding a little better.
Julia.

I would have hoped so too. But it didn't do a thing for my original query.

:hugs: "Hannibal"

[JoAnnDallas]

I freely post that I live in Dallas, TX. If you look at the Dallas Metro area, it covers a whole lot of space. Picking me out of all that space from just the words, Dallas, TX take forever. But then too, if I stated the city I used to live in in West Virginia, it would not take a lot to find me. So it depends on where you live.

[Julia Welch]

I would have hoped so too. But it didn't do a thing for my original query.

:hugs: "Hannibal"


Dear "Hannibal",

I just read your blog...(say no more)....and from that I've concluded that you're not someone I'd care to meet..

Maybe that's something to do with why we don't "reveal" ourselves....

[Carroll]

My avator says where I am at in a cryptic sort of way:D Not hiding my location, just having fun with it

[Eugenie]

I think it is nice to give some general information about where we live. However it seems safer not to be so precise on a mublically accessible forum such as this one. Indeed while it is necessary to register to participate, forums are readable by the general public and who knows what hidden agenda some lurkers may have behind their minds...

With regard to meeting face to face, this becomes a lot more a question of trust. It doesn't require that there is an exchange of street addresses. Wone can meet another CD (or person) in a public place, in fact this is probably a safe precaution...

The trust has to be built through e-mail first. But there is always a risk that the person on the other side is not who she/he pretends to be... At a certain point in the establishment of rapport, perhaps the use of the webcam can give some more reliable image of the "other" than the exchange of pictures: pictures can be of another person. On the webcam images it is very difficult to fake one's images...

One advice: the first time you meet an unknown person set the rebdez-vou in a very public place, and go in drab mode... Then through face to face discussion, mutual trust can be more easily assessed... After that meeting "en femme" becomes less of a problem.

The other way to meet other x-dressers is to attend an official meeting of a x-dressers club or association.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Nicole Erin]

Well I have a kinda of opposite scenario -
I have 2 friends on this forum who are also friends real life. Neither of them post often. The thing is, I met them real life and THEN found out they were members here. Not by some snooping, but in real life, "Have you ever heard of a forum called crossdressers.com?"

And with someone knowing where another lives - Well if the person on a forum is over 18, then they don't have to worry as much about "predators", but seriously, suppose a lurker found out where one of us lived down to our street addy? What are they going to do, show up at the person's front door and be like "Uhhh, hi, you don't know me but..."

Most real loons don't hide the fact well.

If someone showed at my place unexpected they would probably leave anyways - I am boring and don't entertain well. :brolleyes:

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

YOOHOO north Phoenix here..anyone else from here?????

[sterling12]

A lot of folks are from little towns and are very timid about revealing anything. Trust me, I've lived in small towns and it's very difficult to keep your privacy. You often end up being the subject of news, gossip, and nosiness, just because people have nothing else to talk and think about. Couple this type of scenario up with being a little "different," and you become the subject of endless discussion.

I do understand the average CD's timidity, but they don't have to give us the name of their particular Burg. Just a State and and maybe a direction, i.e. Southern Illinois. It's pretty hard to find someone among a couple of million! Logic should overcome that type of paranoia.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[bEEb]

Blog? :stirthepot: I don't have a blog. What blog are you talking about? :roflmao: Where within my thread posting did you get the idea I was looking to meet you ?:eek:

[Stargirl]

I can imagine the paranoia that would manifest being found out by people with phobic minds, and petty little lives. May as well paint a bulls eye on your back, or wear a "kick me" sign. Ironically, I have found that some of the strangest looking people around here are also very bright, and many of the well dressed conservatives with money are as dumb as a pile of rusty nails. Having a few crossdressers (or a lot if it were left up to me) is by far better than meth dealers, and screaming yahoos on dirt bikes at 4 AM.
It pays to proceed with caution when meeting potential friends. People who are too eager, or overly pushy always send up a red flag for me. If it's too good to be true, have a few spares in case you turn out to be right.

[Eugenie]

I do understand the average CD's timidity, but they don't have to give us the name of their particular Burg. Just a State and and maybe a direction, i.e. Southern Illinois. It's pretty hard to find someone among a couple of million! Logic should overcome that type of paranoia.
Yes Joanie,

I do agree completely with the fact that when one lives in a small town there is definitely a big problem with mentioning it publicly in a forum like this one. Not so much that the people of that small town would lurk on crossdressers.com but rather that some ousiders might recognize the small town's name... Note that even with a picture it remains very difficult to identify a person... This has been discussed in severalother occasions...

I also think that it is nice to know in general from what part of the world a person is. As nice as we may find some sister, the fact that she lives on the opposite side of the planet will make a meeting rather unlikely... Hi Girls from "Down Under..." :D

On the contrary, it is very helpful to know that a sister whom you have a nice contact with lives at least in the same state as you or in a bordering state...

That's why it would be nice if members would fill in a general indication of their location, keeping in mind of course that their anonymity will be preserved by the number of people living in their area... That's why I said "Southern France" under my avatar and not my home town name.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[GypsyKaren]

The posting of phone numbers and addresses is not allowed and will be immediately removed, this goes the same for profiles. If you're annoyed about someone not divulging more personal information than you'd like, either PM them or ignore them and move on.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Julia Welch]

Dear Hannibal,

You are a contradiction...This blog ? ...

http://360.yahoo.com/profile-Y7VVkmwyf_DavxjXlveQ

I never said, thought or implied that you wanted to meet me...

I merely pointed out that I wouldn't want to meet you.....ever !!....

[Nicki B]

There have been 'seeking friends to meet' threads recently, where people haven't even posted what country they're in... :strugglin

Is it really that dangerous to give your state?

[jessielee]

dear "hannibal,"
meeting here is a start.
for some of us in ruralities, perhaps the only immediate one; a place to meet and share and compare notes and learn.
it seems to me that by how we converse in the threads reveals much about us. intuition is not enough in this e-world potentially full of chameleons.
because its undeniable that dangerous people who would threaten others exist in all walks, even ours, it is prudent to take some time, to build a relationship before needing personal connection details.
just because you know know you can never betray another's confidences doesn't provide enough reassurance to a new friend by itself. so, the built-in annonymity most use here serves a purpose of a buffer of time to test the waters being offered, so to speak. so that what is genuine and innocuous can be all but proven over time.
please slow down! if tempers have flared this quickly it is perhaps a red flag for some, a warning.
i believe that for those thus patient, it is well worth the investment. or will be!
tend the soil with calm patient stewardship
so that fruit may come in its season..
cautiously,
jessie

[docrobbysherry]

On the subject, I probably am not one to comment. As I can be completely anonomous, while showing my entire female alter ego as much as I like.

But, maybe as bEEbs said, " Fantasyland", is a place where many CDs live? I certainly do. bEEbs, that mite explain the contradictions in some's personal info?

There r a few of u out there I would LOVE to meet! However, none near where I live!

[Sherrii]

If a person wants to meet others I think it is fine. However with the way so many people in the world are today a person, especiallya woman (GG or CD,TS, etc.) needs to be very carefull. After establishing contact here or on another forum I would think it wise to exchange E mail for a while, phone conversations too, then if all still seems well and safe, meeting in a public place might be OK. Those of us in The BDSM community know of the advise to always tell a friend where you are going and when you are due back so if there is any problem at least you haven't just dissapeared. If you don't know anyone you can still tell the person you are meeting of such an arrangment. Being carefull is not being silly the way things are now.

Sherrii

[Shelly Preston]

if you post the wrong or type of information people can find you

So dont get too specific

[Kieroney]

I second the internet being a dangerous place on posting any kind of info. I choose to hide my face and personal info., maybe after being on the site for awhile, I might change my mind.

[surfdoc]

I agree with everyone here...discretion is a must. There are alot of nutjobs out there, I know 'cause I seem to meet them. Ironically I live in south FL where there is a huge population of pretty much anything you want. I can not go to the bars around here due to my job and stuff while in school. So where is it that I can go to meet friendly CD'ers or tranny's or just cool people that want grab a beer? Lets do this... I live in Delray Beach..anyone near here shoot me a message. But please no weirdos!!!!!

[bEEb]

Dear Hannibal,

You are a contradiction...This blog ? ...

http://360.yahoo.com/profile-Y7VVkmwyf_DavxjXlveQ

There's no blog on that page.

I never said, thought or implied that you wanted to meet me...


I merely pointed out that I wouldn't want to meet you.....ever !!....

Thank you, again. :love:

[jessielee]

dear bEEb,
i regret the exchange tone became somewhat ascerbic and hope you credit the humor taken at your expense to slight discomfort over this e-universe being full of potential to real predators.
i'm sorry i laughed, too.
suspicion and discretion aside, connections of trust and lifelong, i hope, relationships can and are being made and found even here!
i wish you my sincere best,
jessie

[Bootsiegalore]

I have met local girls through a local group. I do not get out much (I have 2 teen boys) They will be on their own soon!

I am near Phoenix AZ

Tara
bootsiegalore@yahoo.com

[Dalece]

I would love and I'm trying to meet some of the girls here in Ohio. I'm honest and answer honestly. Descretion is a rule. Right now you all are more family to me.:love:

[Deborah Jane]

If you can find me you can have me!!!:battingeyelashes:
But be warned!!:eek:
You don,t really want me!!!:devil::tongueout

[Amy Hepker]

It has taken a big step for many to even come here to this forum, when these people feel comfortable they will show their city, state, or other. They are not ignorant, just careful, don't gudge people before you know what is going on. This kind of thinking is why most of us are still in the closet.

[bEEb]

Thanks for your concern. No problem and no apology necessary. I am fairly thick skinned. It just never ceases to amaze me though. Seemingly intelligent people can overlook the plain intent and focus of a post. And rant and rail on totally unrelated topics. Almost always from those of whom the original post somehow struck a raw nerve protruding through their thin skin.

[Angie G]

In any given place there on some CDs who live there If the town has a pop. of 3 I can see not giveng ths nane of it otherwise who will know it's you. I live in Central New York do you know who I am other then Angie. :hugs:
Angie

[susanmichelle]

My :2c: be carefull about posting anything you dont want others to find out about you. Its no big deal but one of my recent posts i was doing a search for doctors in louisville ky area and my post pops up on google search.

Do you get discrimination because of having long hair ...We are a dedicated forum for the transgendered, their family and friends. ..... Join Date: Nov 2007. Location: Louisville, Ky area. Posts: 80. Update on me ...
www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=77973 - 110k - Cached - Similar pages - Note this

Remember anything you do on the net is public and from what i understand permanate Just be careful with your information.

[LoriTG]

I'll tell you...I I Live in Masontown, Pennsylvania. I am about 30 minutes from Morgantown, West Virginia. If anyone would like to email me, message me you are more than welcome to.

[Emily Ann Brown]

I remember several years back I was trying to find a discreet local sister. One contacted me saying she was in the same city I was showing and wanted to meet. There are numerous bedroom communities around this city, and I lived in one...pop. about 1,500. Too much info for day one. Because of being on staff at a church in the city I decided to use that general location until I got to know this sister better (maybe a 10 mile difference in actual residence and where I hinted I lived). She quickly told me which side of town she lived on....SAME SIDE SAME AREA. She pushed hard for more information. It bothered me, so I narrowed it down a touch without giving away too much info at that point, but to let her know I knew the area and was definitely LOCAL. She came back with the 3 street subdivision she lived in. (This was on our 3rd day of casual brief chatting). She lived next door to the church !!!!! #@~*^&%@

Do I need to say I cut that off very fast?

Don't get me wrong. I finally found a couple of local sisters that I am very comfortable with. We click as good friends. They have been to my place and I to theirs....no secrets. But we did the "hello, how are you?" slowly, and met the first few times in public places we both thought appropriate.


Emily Ann

[JoAnnDallas]

My first time to meet another sister was when I attended Tri-Ess's HEF2006 which was held here in Dallas that year. Meeting other CDers at a convention is probley the safest way to meet others. Then too, these will be the ones that are usually out of the closet anyway.

[CD Susan]

I am looking for correspondance from people relatively close by so I list my state. States are big places so I'm not worried about some pervert finding me against my will.