Of The Holy Grail

[Caitlin Rose]

This is probably coming in part from my own appearance, which will never be anything remotely approaching "pretty," but I thought I would post it just the same.

For many years my therapist told me how pointless and damaging it is, to base my opinion of myself on the approval of others. Yet here I am enjoying the emergence of my feminine side, and potentially finding myself looking to others to approve of me, by allowing me to "pass."

There is something very wrong with this picture!

Am I looking at this the wrong way?

[RikkiOfLA]

Am I looking at this the wrong way?

I think you might be, but I wouldn't worry about it. ;)

In particular, I don't look on passing as the approval of others.

If they perceive you as a woman, what "approval" is that? That they "approve" of women? Awfully sexist if they don't!

To be a bit more analytical, if "passing" means that you are putting forth enough signals that the casual observer believes you to be more feminine than masculine, and you are carrying yourself with confidence and self-worth, that speaks well of your skill and your attitude. Good job!

"Passing" certainly doesn't mean that the casual observer knows that you are a crossdresser (rather than a woman with some masculine features, for example) and that they think you're scoring high marks at it (you are, but it's not a conscious assessment on their part), and that the general public approves of crossdressing (they probably don't). I'm glad passing doesn't mean all that--it would be a much more challenging assignment, wouldn't it!

The truth is, it's you who deserves the pat on the back for doing a good job, not the public for approving of you.

Blessings,
Rikki

[EDNA]

If God did not want me to dress as a Girl. He would not have made me. To feel like I do. About Dressing as a Female. He was the one that put me in the wrong body. Also! I know a lot of Crossdressers. That feel the same way that I do and we all are real Happy.

[Deborah Jane]

Hi Caitlin. I wouldn,t worry too much about the approval of others. If you are happy doing this and enjoy it, i think thats the main thing you should be aiming for.
It,s nice to have others approval i admit, but to my mind the main thing is doing it for yourself and your own happiness.

[Eugenie]

For many years my therapist told me how pointless and damaging it is, to base my opinion of myself on the approval of others. Yet here I am enjoying the emergence of my feminine side, and potentially finding myself looking to others to approve of me, by allowing me to "pass."

There is something very wrong with this picture!

Am I looking at this the wrong way?

On this matter as in many other ones, the diversity seems to be the rule. Some of us need the aprovals of others to improve their self esteem. Some other have a great opinion of themselves whatever the other people will say...

Perhaps a good balance between the two would make things more efficient...

There is another thing that is important for x-dressers; being seen "en femme" by other people is a way to really exist in our other self. Of course, it helps if this is done through some gentle eyes...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Amy Hepker]

Oh My GOD you maybe enjoying yourself, becareful it is catchy.

[RobertaFermina]

Enjoy the positive feedback you get, and take notice of the negative. There is truth in each of them, and neither is the TRUTH.

The TRUTH is you are a miracle simply for existing, and that cannot be undermined from any humane perspective.

Beyond that, everything is open to judgment and opinion and filtered through the life experiences (good and bad) of the observer.

Having fun, and getting home safe is the best I can hope for !

:rose: Roberta :Rose:

[docrobbysherry]

Women r scored heavily on how they look. There's a thousand reasons why this is. Many r just wrong, but it is still true. Most women care how they look. Why shouldn't u?

When we portray women, we often try to appear as a woman we find attractive. However, our results r mixed. Some of us can be attractive women, some cannot. Some can pass, some cannot. We all wish we could be attractive AND pass!

We r all only human. With all our shallowness and false vanities! Please allow yourself to be human also. NO ONE HERE IS PERFECT! I know I'm am not, anyway

[Carrie f]

I can think of lots of reasons why I'd like to be passable, but the approval of strangers isn't one of them.

Or to put it nautical terms, 'sail your own boat the best you can and let the other guy (girl) worry about their's'. Good luck.