Coming out advice

[Carrie f]

I'm at the age and position (single) where I'd like to be a little more adventuresome in my hometown. Not totally, bcause of friends and children. I will cross that bridge, but not yet.

I've been dressed in public, in other towns & cities, mostly outside in the evening. I'd like to start building a circle of people I can trust in this area. I'm not too keen on my close friends but there are aquaintances I think might be ok with me as a cd. On the other hand, they could just as easily laugh in my face. Are there ways or signs you girls have found to sort of feel people out

I'm hopeful of opening up to people I already know to one degree or another. There are two women I would like to tell but both are married. I'd just as soon their husbands didn't know, and I don't want to put the women in the position of keeping secrets from their hubbies. Same with my female hairstylist.

I know there's no secret formula for approaching people. I'm just fishing here and looking for ideas. I am going to be coming out more in my local area over the next 6 months before going to Fall Fantasia Fair, so I'm trying to get all the options I can find the best way to come out to some while maintaining a high degree of privacy & discretion.


Thank you for all your help, Carrie

[deja true]

Off the top of my head, carrie, I think I'd go with your stylist first, if you think she's open enough to accept you. Stylists, especially if they've been practicing a while, have seen a lot more than you think... Why not edge toward a conversation with her the next time you go. Ask about eybrows, ask about nails, ask about highlights. If you can talk or joke informally about "gender-bending" comfortably, she's the one. She may be the best source for meeting others like yourself, too.

I think you're also right not to want to compromise your friendship with the two ladies at this stage, too.

I'm pretty isolated myself, but I don't think there are any 'special signals' or secret handshakes (unless there's a crossdressing Masonic Lodge somewhere), but all the girls here who go out regularly can probably advise you better on that.

Good luck, carrie, your'e on you way. I'll be along a little later.

respect & love,

deja

[Eugenie]

It is difficult to give a set of general rules that would be vastly applicable.

It is when discussing with some of the people that at some point you sense the tingle in your belly that tells you, yes I can speak to that person...

From my own experience, I have found it easier to detect that probablilty of acceptation in women rather than in men. All the women I came out to reacted quite positively.

I've found more difficult to get the feeling that a man would react positively. I have come out to a couple of men, it went well, but it was more risky than with the women I came out to. I didn't have real clues that they would accept.

One thing that is worth mentionning is that one can become addicted to "coming out"... Once you start, you will want every one to know... It feels so good to exist in front of people who aren't themselves x-dressers or not only exist as pictures in front of a CD forum membership.

It is a form of mainstreaming.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[JenniferR771]

Only your hairdressers knows for sure. Its a professional thing they don't usually talk. But it might be wise to ask if they can keep a secret, just in case. My hairdresser is a one person shop and is very nice to me. I am getting bolder. Of course, I was showing her some enfemme pictures one day and she showed them to a man who was standing near the cash register--turned out to be her husband. I was only slightly uncomfortable.

[Seville]

Are there ways or signs you girls have found to sort of feel people out...

I wish I knew. My best friend at work (married) came out at Halloween a
couple of years back...

Perfectly dressed head to toe! Shaved too! A marvelous presentation!

I had absolutely no idea he was/is a C/D. Of course, I accepted him,
BUT NONE OF THE MEN IN THE FACTORY DID. He lost all
respect and friendship and ended up quitting and moving
out-of-state.

I guess that is one of the reasons I caution everyone
on the forums to proceed carefully when telling.

But what do I know? :violin: Just my :2c: