Describe that feeling...

[Sally2005]

How would you describe to a non CDer the feeling that builds inside until you *have* to dress?

Sometimes I can go for months without the desire to CD, but then all of a sudden over a few days or week I find that the desire builds until I have to do something about it. At the same time, CDing is never really that far away, I've accepted it as part of my being, but in the dry periods I feel like what's the point of CDing? Why bother? I could never look passable. However, in the period when you have to CD, it is like the complete opposite.

Is it like going without chocolate for months and then stuffing your face with them all at once? Or is it more like a chemical change in the body or after you eat something? Or something you see or feel that triggers it?

I understand the cycles, I'm looking for a good way to describe how we feel to someone who is not a CDer.

[Seville]

How would you describe to a non CDer the feeling that builds inside until you *have* to dress?

Sometimes I can go for months without the desire to CD, but then all of a sudden over a few days or week I find that the desire builds until I have to do something about it.

Is it like going without chocolate for months and then stuffing your face with them all at once? Or is it more like a chemical change in the body or after you eat something? Or something you see or feel that triggers it?

I understand the cycles, I'm looking for a good way to describe how we feel to someone who is not a CDer.

Far worse than chocolate. For me it was like being on a 60+
hour a week job, with no time off, for endless months
at a time, then going on a R E L A X I N G long term
vacation. Sheer joy!

That's the best I can do.

Another interesting topic!

[Sadie V.]

The feeling most of us get while crossdressed is a sense of comfort, excitement, relaxation, mostly positive feelings. Granted there are a few that feel an overwhealming sense of guilt from the act, fortunately for most of us we are very comfortable in our own skin and know that our feminine side has as much right to be seen and heard as our masculine side. Hopefully this has helped out.

[Suzy Harrison]

I need to do this very often these days, but luckily I am able to do so.

Many years ago this wasn't the case. Sometimes I would have to go for 2 months without the chance to dress. I know that doesn't seem very long, but at the time it would seem ages.

During that period I'd feel very frustrated and found it difficult to concentrate on things. But once I finally got dressed again I'd feel a tremendous release of pressure and then feel more relaxed and far happier.

[Laurelanne]

Its very hard to describe isn't it especially to someone who doesn't CD, but I guess its as close to Suzy's description as you will get. Longing to find the woman inside:2c:

[Angie G]

I dresas 5 day a week so not much desire build up hun :hugs:
Angie

[Eugenie]

How would you describe to a non CDer the feeling that builds inside until you *have* to dress?
I have sometimes described it as a viceral somatic urge (sorry for the big words...) It is indeed a feeling that starts at the center of the inner me which makes me sick until I can finaly go through what my body asks for.

I will feel very bad if I am in a situation where I can't fulfill that need. That is of course obvious in my attitudes and it makes my wife unhappy as she detects very easily the reasons for my feeling low and doesn't like my x-dressing.

It is much more that a fetishist fantazy. This is by the way what is so difficut to understand. Even friends who know that I am a crossdresser often make comments which, albeit very kind ones, nevertheless show that they don't get it... They still see it as a pleasure seeking behaviour linked to a sexual fantasy, even if they don't say it directly anymore.

The analogy with craving for food may give some hints to the people we try to inform about our need to crossdress. Likewise the desire for sex, which is also a very strong drive, can give some ideas. But neither convey the long lasting effect of the drive to crossdress: once you have eaten your soul out of when you have satisfied yuor sexual urge, things come back to a steady state...

Not so for the desire to crossdress... It is lasting all the while you are dressed "en femme" and doesn't fade away after you undress.

Perhaps the best explanation can be "Crossdressing makes me feel extremely good in my head and in my body. It is a feeling that is profound and that never lasts. It has almost no sexual content, at least no more that what a female at birth would have from time to time."

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Sally2005]

There is a definite trend. If you have a constant release there is no build up and otherwise the intensity increases until you do something to release it, then it starts all over again. It feels like a chemical change in the body. My guess it that it is a CD type trend vs. TS which is more of a constant desire. It seems to be releated to stress, but not entirely since you can be depressed or happy and still have this cycle, but it seems to have a calming effect. The other thing I notice if that lack of sleep brings the desire out more and the desire is always the strongest in the morning. Anyone else notice this too?

[Echo Logical]

Well, it's like the time in between football seasons. You think about how your team is going to do in the coming season. You watch videos of the spring training, and pre-season scrimmages. Then finally after months of waiting you put on your favorite jersey and catch the big game, at the stadium or from your living room on the tube. You cheer, and rant, you feel the victory in every completed pass, and the defeat of every fumble, you faithfully follow through the whole season, and when it ends you think about the next season to come.

That is how I would explain to some people I know who are really into football. For other I would explain differently.

[jill s]

I usually say " It's like all my little pains and worries are being put into a bottle, and when I dress it's like turning the bottle up and pouring it all out at once". I know, not very helpful, but as close as I can come to the feeling.

[Kate Simmons]

It sounds simplistic my friend but is far more complex really. Most do not know it is a process that involves neurological and physiological changes in us. A lot of it involves feedback and feed forward processes within us to reach a desired state of being. In a sense, we "re-create" ourselves in many ways, both subtle and gross when we do this.:)

[dominique]

I used to dress once maybe twice a week, but lately it has been every day during the week. When kids of on hols I look forward to them going back. So I can dress.

[TGMarla]

Althought I usually get to dress about 4 times a week, there are days when it builds up inside me. Some days the urge to be dressed is a lot stronger than on other days. Some days it leaves me alone and doesn't bug me much. When it does bug me, it's rather frustrating. I'm going about my business with a distraction irritating the inside of my head, that teases and titillates the whole day until I am able to get home and dress. Then when I'm finally dressed, it's like a wash of relief, a heavy sigh, and a very good feeling. If I am unaable to do this for an extended period of time, it gets very frustrating, and the urge to dress can be very distracting. Aarrrgh! Talking about it this early in the morning, when I know that I'm at least 12 hours away from even the opportunity to dress is kind of hard, too!

[Samantha43]

How would you describe to a non CDer the feeling that builds inside until you *have* to dress?

Sometimes I can go for months without the desire to CD, but then all of a sudden over a few days or week I find that the desire builds until I have to do something about it. At the same time, CDing is never really that far away, I've accepted it as part of my being, but in the dry periods I feel like what's the point of CDing? Why bother? I could never look passable. However, in the period when you have to CD, it is like the complete opposite.

Is it like going without chocolate for months and then stuffing your face with them all at once? Or is it more like a chemical change in the body or after you eat something? Or something you see or feel that triggers it?

I understand the cycles, I'm looking for a good way to describe how we feel to someone who is not a CDer.

WOW!!!
You just described me perfectly. I will go for months (I have even gone years) without crossdressing or really even thinking about it. Then it sort of bubbles up to the point where I feel I really need to do it. I have found that during my busy periods I really don't have the desire to dress. I think about it occasionally, but the desire just isn't there. During my slower times when I am more well rested and life is moving at a little slower pace I can't get enough. I will dress quite often during these periods, and get a great deal of satisfaction from it. Then the desire seems to fade away after a few months. I have been trying to figure this out for years, but can't come up with an explanation. Maybe when I am busy, my mind is occupied with other things and crossdressing works it's way down my mental list of important things to do.

[harmony]

its like an earthquake?balances within ourselves are misaligned
and need relief.

[jackie_p]

For me it seems that I spend more and more time thinking about it.
Then, when I get to the point where I'm pretty much obsessing over it
I usually find some alone time and lift the weight off my shoulders. After
that I'm mentally in a better place for a while until it starts building
again. Hope I don't expolde one of these days!:)

[Deborah Jane]

Hi Sally!! I don,t think i can explain the feeling. It just feels so right and natural for me now i,ve accepted myself!!
In the past i had a "love hate" relationship with my c/ding...I needed to dress and really enjoyed the time i spent dressed, but afterwoods i hated myself for it and pushed myself into macho activities!!

I guess the only way i could explain it to a non C/Der is that it,s just something i need to do, i don,t know why but i just need too!!

[Debutante]

... It seems to be releated to stress, but not entirely since you can be depressed or happy and still have this cycle, but it seems to have a calming effect. The other thing I notice if that lack of sleep brings the desire out more and the desire is always the strongest in the morning. Anyone else notice this too?

Yes, Sally, I very much feel the cycles myself. They come when they wish... and I wish it weren't so!

The urge is mysterious, and comes up from within. Often when I am stressed, but esp. tired, is when it comes. In the morning I am close to it as well... I have often dressed in a night gown or other clothes, while at the breakfast table with my accepting wife. She is uncertain with my CDing, but does like it very much when my femme comes through clearly and with some autheticityn...

[joperinal]

I was here. Could not handle the stress at home so I got rid of everything.
now more then a yaer ago, as you cna see in my last posts.... bu now I am looking on internet again. got that feeling again...

[ColleenW]

Hi Sally -

For me it's like a slowly wound clock spring. It just gets tighter and tighter until it springs.:battingeyelashes:

[Celeste]

I seem to go a few weeks at the most and then want to dress again.Little things bring me back like,noticing nice clothing on gg's,coming across old receipts of femme items purchased ,seeing things advertised I might want to try , seeing someone who has that "look" that I admire or am attracted to.

Then,just as if I'd been placed in a hypnotic trance,I'm hooked for about two days.When it is over,and I'm in drab,I'm left in limbo about mens clothes and styling realizing how much I despise it and how boring it really feels to me.For me,I don't think the desire ever go's away, not acknowledging it would be like a great friend knocking on my door,and me inside pretending to be gone.

[TxKimberly]

How would you describe to a non CDer the feeling that builds inside until you *have* to dress?



Imagine looking in the mirror every day and seeing someone plain or ugly looking back at you. Now imagine that every once in while, you get to look in the mirror and see someone beautiful looking back at you?
Imagine going through life as a caterpillar (AKA Worm) and every once in a while you get to be the beautiful butterfly?

Works for me! :-)
Kim

[Raychel]

For me it was like being on a 60+
hour a week job, with no time off, for endless months
at a time, then going on a R E L A X I N G long term
vacation. Sheer joy!


I would say that this pretty much nails it right on, for the way it feels to me. :thumbsup:

[tommi]

For me it seems that I spend more and more time thinking about it.
Then, when I get to the point where I'm pretty much obsessing over it
I usually find some alone time and lift the weight off my shoulders. After
that I'm mentally in a better place for a while until it starts building
again. Hope I don't expolde one of these days!:)

Very well stated but at other times it just feeds on itself the urge gets stronger even when I do get to dress especially if I've been shopping.
The excitement of wearing the new clothes and refining our looks.
It can almost become obsessive if you let it.
Being that I present myself to the same small community day and night I have to choose wisely how I deal with staying in the closet or peeking out.
Finding a day or even an evening to just let loose helps but talking it out is about the only way I get back control.

[docrobbysherry]

Here's how I would describe CDing:

It relieves all my stress. It makes me high and very excited. I forget everything else going on in my life. I get very turned on.

It make me appear to be another person entirely. It is like a dream, a fantasy come true.

It's funny. When I CAN dress, I often don't. When I CAN'T dress, I seem to want to!

[immike]

How would you describe to a non CDer the feeling that builds inside until you *have* to dress?

Sometimes I can go for months without the desire to CD, but then all of a sudden over a few days or week I find that the desire builds until I have to do something about it. At the same time, CDing is never really that far away, I've accepted it as part of my being, but in the dry periods I feel like what's the point of CDing? Why bother? I could never look passable. However, in the period when you have to CD, it is like the complete opposite.

Is it like going without chocolate for months and then stuffing your face with them all at once? Or is it more like a chemical change in the body or after you eat something? Or something you see or feel that triggers it?

I understand the cycles, I'm looking for a good way to describe how we feel to someone who is not a CDer.
I'm a closet CD,in total secrecy&I sometimes get the urges,as well.My favorite moment
is when I am in my mothers closet,trying on all of her dresses,shoes,skirts,blouses,dress
slacks,etc.I order pantyhose out of mothers womens catalogs&simply put on a pair,before
I enter her closet.There is nothing more fun than putting on one of her short skirtsuits
with a silk blouse,and a pair of her many colors of heels.

[Julie York]

It's like being home sick. Only sexually exciting.

[serinalynn]

Even with out thinking about it I am wearing womens jeans, Nylon knee high stockings, a black satin panty and a ladies tee shirt top. Ive worn these clothes all day and went to breakfast at 7:30 around 9am to the auto parts store, about 12:30 to Home Depot and shortly my wife and I along with our 23YO daughter will go out for supper. All while dressed as a woman in womens clothing and not one person said anything or even questioned it.:daydreaming:

[Carol123]

well for me it is like i am the person i should have been born as,when i am dressed

[Shelly Preston]

It's a bit like being an adrenline junkie before you dress your looking forward to it

While dressed you enjoy it

After your have been dressed you have the memories of how good it was (until it all begins again )

[gennee]

I wear something feminine (usually panties) everyday. When I dress I feel complete and liberated.

Gennee

:gorgeous:

[shirley1]

it depends on what i'm wearing - but mainly for me now its like a warm feeling inside and i feel relaxed stress free - the more often i dress the more it feels natural to me - and i am definately dressing more frequently now - i cant really quantify it as i say it just feels like its the way i should be - and when the heels go on yeh thats it - i dont even need the wig in doors but definately need it to go out !

[NicoleScott]

I don't dress as often as I used to or want to. When the strong urge comes and I can't dress, I start planning and preparing for when I can. Since I dress less, I really want to maximize the experience every time I can. And I do.

[PatriciaT]

We all seem to have one common feeling in that the need to express our feminine side builds up, like some sort of pressure. If it's not released we become very frustrated.
I can only give a personal example. I normally dress every weekend and 1-2 nights a week when the weather allows. Under these circumstrances I get get rid of the pressure on a regular basis and feel fine. However, during the hot summer and cold winter, getting out at night is just too uncomforable. Duirng these times, I am restricted only to the weekends and the pressure builds up so that by the end of the week it becomes almost unbearable. In my case it's not a cyclical but a constant desire.

It would be hard to try to get a non CD to understand the need to dress. One way would be to say that unless we dress we feel that something is missing, that we are not our complete self. Another way is to say that by being only in drab, we are not participating fully in the world around us, not experiencing both the masculine and feminine sides of society.

There are lots of triggers. The pressure is one, the discomfort of boys clothes and the comfort of girls clothes are others. What can really trigger the desire to dress is to see a GG dressed in a way I can also be and am not.
This is a very complicated question. The key would be to get a non CD who experiences only his masculine side to understand that a person can also have a feminine side as well. The subject is so tabu that it might even be hard for a person to bring himself to the point of considering the topic.
In the end result, I think it's a hopeless cause trying to explain our desire so someone who simply has never experienced a feminine side or can even imagine it. An open minded person might try to understand but I hardly think this person could ever fully grasp something which is simply beyond his experience.
The fact is, I still have trouble understanding my need to dress. I don't know why I feel so relaxed, so comfortable, even so natural when I am en femme or why I get so frustrated and feel so uncomfortable when I cannot dress for even a week or two.





Patricia

[Farrah]

I would say its kinda like going without sex for a long time.

[Alex-is]

I find that the urge to dress occurs when I have not had the time to be creative or myself due to whatever reason. something inside me just stirs and stirs, yearning to escape, and Ive found that that dressing kinda lets me be me while im doing other stuff, and puts that stirring to bed.

i would really like ot know WHY it is that me being me is me being a girl tho.

[Sarah Doepner]

I've thought about this a lot and don't know the answer. I occasionally think that over the years I have changed my brain chemistry through crossdressing. When I do it I look in the mirror and see something that pleases me. That provides a little release of endorphins that makes me feel even better.
This isn't negative. Runners often talk about that endorphin rush they get, the "runner's high". We get the crossdresser's high. Like with any addiction, if we don't meet the need, our body begins to betray us. We get distracted and moody. If we go a long time and think we are over it, it's easy to get started again.
Better this than nicotine, cocaine, heroin or alcohol. They get used up and ruin your health. When I buy clothes they are there for me again and again. Or at least until styles change or I just have to have something new to put my brain chemistry back in balance.
How to describe it to someone who hasn't experienced this? See if they have an addiction. They should understand at least that part of the equation.

[serinalynn]

It's a bit like being an adrenline junkie before you dress your looking forward to it

While dressed you enjoy it

After your have been dressed you have the memories of how good it was (until it all begins again )


Yes Shelly I do look forward to dressing when ever I can, Lately though, and working 6 days a week, leaves my dressing time severly cutback. Alas I have clothes that I have puurchased and have not even worn yet.I do have the little pleasure that I wear a panty and womens jeans to work. :heehee:

[daviolin]

Great Thread. Dressing for me is a release from the everyday hum drum. I have high points and low points in my CD time. Being still in the closet is the problum. Iwant to so share with someone else. I just recentlly met a nother crossdresser in my community. We had a meeting at a decrete resturant. It was fabulous. the first time I ever got to sit down with someone and talk about girl stuff. I was in heaven. So this is a new stage in my world of crossdressing. I hope to continue meeting other dressers. Without getting caught of course. Daviolin

[Tara Jordan Campbell]

Sometimes Ill just go nuts. Ill be watching tv and see some woman that is dressed so hot that I just have to be her. I run to my stuff and dress up.

Once dressed I feel like I have completed something in my brain that makes me feel comfortable and ok. It's like a switch goes off, I move, talk and act femme. This feeling can last for hours or days depending on my mood.
Most every day I do not feel whole unless I slip into a pvc catsuit or something that makes me feel femme.

Even sitting with my legs crossed feeling the smooth skin rubbing across each other makes me so happy.

I don't think that telling someone that does not have these feelings would understand, for me it is like holding my breath when Im not dressed.
I just have to..........

[bgirl]

Compelled. Fight it, its hellish. Embrace it, it can be heavenly.

Lately I have to dress just to be who I am.

[Lkgrfunnhou]

To me, it's as exciting as the 1rst time I had an orgasm...I wanted MORE!!!:daydreaming:

[Laurelanne]

Compelled. Fight it, its hellish. Embrace it, it can be heavenly.

Lately I have to dress just to be who I am.

Yes and ive found as the years passed it was more and it was an escape or rather and insight into a calming period, the real woman within.. right?:battingeyelashes:

[il.dso]

The joys and thrills of Crossdressing are hard to describe to others.
Sometimes I think of it this way...imagine you're
absolutely freezing cold and then you get to put on
the warmest most comfortable blanket.