Bernadina
04-29-2005, 01:06 PM
Just in case no one else got around to posting these.
---------------------------------------------------
These are really good tips to follow. I have been
doing it this way since I've been going out in public
for the last 18 years and they work. Especially when I
meet someone for the first time. I tell them that I
will meet them at a TG friendly night club and will
keep meeting them there several times before I feel
that I can trust them to go any further. In some cases
people who want to meet me don't want to meet at a
club because they say they don't go to clubs, they
don't drink, or that they might run into someone in
the place that they know. You don't have to drink
alcohol at a club, they have soda pop and fruit
drinks. If they run into someone who knows them ,
their friend is some what accepting of our life style
or they would not be there. When you get people who
use these excuses, it can safely be assumed that they
are game players, flakes or even be dangerous to meet
in the first place. I have never had a problem
following any of these safety tips. They work!!! How
do I know they work? I am a retired police officer and
on the job I saw a lot of bad things that happened to
other girls because they didn't follow these safety
tips.
--- Paula X <paulaxis601@aol.com> wrote:
> GOING OUT ? BE SAFE, BE SMART ! ! !
>
> Excerpts taken from Annette, Tri-Ess Chapter in
> Michigan, and ideas
> and experiences collected from members like you by
> Paula X -
> Paulaxis601@aol.com
> -------------------------------------
>
BE SAFE, BE SMART - PLAN AHEAD and ANTICIPATE !!!
Dawn, a wife of a cross dresser, with additional comments from a
myriad of "sisters" offers the following SAFETY TIPS
Safety Tips:
Those of us that were raised female have picked up some "street
smarts" to help us avoid trouble when we're out, especially at night.
But our beloved cross dresser may not be as savvy. And there are
issues that natural women don't face but cross dressers might have to
deal with. This is a crash course in playing it safe while out en
femme. Share them with everybody!
Going out while dressed or meeting someone in your feminine attire
can be a wonderful experience, or it can turn into a nightmare.
Remember that when you are out, you are dressed as a woman and
subject to all the attacks, leering and problems that come with
womanhood.
Many sisters, in their search for acceptance make many mistakes
regarding giving out too much information about themselves, arranging
meetings without preparing for them and (when out dressed) do things
that draw unnecessary and unwanted attention to themselves.
For those who require safety tips for meeting, please read the
following lists. Anyone who wishes may add to them. Please e-mail me
and I'll add them
You will always want to make sure you can get to your handheld MACE /
Pepper Spray - and know HOW TO USE IT BEFORE YOU NEED TO USE IT !
(Paula X - Cleveland, Annette c/o Tri-Ess Chapter - Michigan, and
others offer the following safety ideas
1. "FIRST MEETING" TIPS
==================
a. Always let a third person know whom you will be meeting and where.
b. Always meet in a T-friendly public place until you know the
person.
c. If the person says that they have experience, or have met with
others before, ask for references.
d. Beware anyone who wants to meet you RIGHT NOW.
e. Never give out an address until you've met the person a few times
and feel safe.
f. Remember that when you call someone, and they have caller ID, they
now know who you really are and now have your full name and number
and can find your address that way - or worse.
g. If you have "Caller ID," have them call you and get their number
for reference.
h. Call them the first time from a pay phone.
i. Try to meet in a place where you're known.
j. Make sure that you say "hi" to some of these people while the new
(friend) is with you - even introduce them to your friend.
k. Before a meeting, ask them for as much information as possible -
Sexual orientation, last HIV test date, D/D'freeness and discretion,
expectations of each other, likes and dislikes, etc. - Qualify 'em !
l. Have a charged up cell phone with you.
m. always have the phone numbers of a few 'sisters' or friends handy
2. ON THE STREET
=============
a. If you suspect that someone is following you, by foot or in a car,
don't go home (or they will know where you live). Go to a trusted
neighbor or to a public place to call police, or drive directly to
police station.
b. Don't hitch-hike.
c. Be very careful using outside ATMs at night, or in unfamiliar
surroundings.
d. When on the street, walk facing oncoming traffic. It will be
harder for someone to pull you into a car and abduct you.
e. Tell someone where you'll be and what time you're supposed to
return, or if you will be with someone you don't know well.
f. Try to not overload yourself with packages. If you must have your
hands full, visualize how you would respond if approached, how you
would get your hands free, etc.
g. Do not wear music headphones while walking or jogging.
h. Do not read while walking or standing on the street.
i. If you wear a purse with a shoulder strap, be prepared to let it
go if snatched. Otherwise you may be hurt if the mugger knocks you
down and drags you while fleeing with your purse. CONSIDER CARRYING
COPIES OF DRIVERS LICENSE, AAA CARD, etc., in case your purse is
stolen.
j. If someone asks you for directions, and if you choose to reply,
remain at least two arms lengths away.
k. Clogs, high heels, and tight skirts are hard to run and fight in.
Capes, scarves, and long necklaces are easy to grab. Modify your
fashion style, or wear comfortable clothing when walking alone
(change into dress-up clothes later), or think through how you would
fight in your dress-up clothes (for example, kicking off your high
heels or hiking your skirt up around your hips before starting to run
or kick). Imagine ramming your heel through the foot of your
assailant - it could save you from injury.
l. Avoid being on the street alone if you are upset or under the
influence of drugs or alcohol, It's best to have someone go with you.
m. Always have a charged up cell phone with you
3. IN A CAR
========
a. Check the inside and around your car before entering to insure
that no one is hiding there.
b. Check your surroundings before getting out of your car. Visualize
your path to where you are going.
c. Don't pick up hitch-hikers
d. Keep doors locked and windows rolled up so that a hand can't reach
in.
e. If a group of suspicious people approaches you when you are
stopped at a red light at a deserted intersection, run the light if
your intuition tells you that the situation could get dangerous.
f. Don't let gas indicator fall below 1/4.
g. Plan your route and check a map before you start out.
h. Park in well-lighted areas if possible.
i. Try not to park next to a van, as you can be pulled in through the
sliding door.
j. Don't leave valuables in plain sight inside your car.
l. If you see an accident or stranded motorist, if possible report it
from your cell phone or the nearest telephone instead of stopping.
m. Carry in your car: flashlight, flares, fix-a-flat, maps,
comfortable warm clothing, first aid kit, empty gas can, white cloth
to tie to antenna to signal distress, charged cell phone. And
especially a change of DRAB CLOTHING & MAKEUP REMOVER.
n. Be sure you have your CURRENT vehicle registration and insurance
cards in the vehicle - OR AT LEAST COPIES IN THE CAR OR ELSEWHERE.
o. Also be sure you have your non-expired driver's license with you
when you go out. Don't leave it in your billfold, put it in your
purse.
p. A mechanical violation is a valid reason for a police stop in most
states. Check your car out well. This means everything. No noisy
mufflers, or bald tires. Check your horn & windshield wipers. Be sure
to check your lights, ALL of them, the evening before you go out. Be
sure the headlights work, low and high beam. Check your parking
lights, brake lights and turn signal lights. Also, be sure to check
your license plate lights, as they are required by most state laws to
be operational.
q. Clean you car out. Throw away all those old fast food bags and
soda cans. Should you be stopped, a trash filled car could be a point
of suspicion. (Is there something hidden under all that trash?)
r. Obey all posted speed limits and reduce your speed if the weather
is poor.
s. Don't take a chance on running that yellow light, and come to a
complete stop at all stop signs.
t. If you are concerned about another driver, don't pull up right to
the stop line at an intersection. Instead, pull up so your position
in your car is across from the adjacent vehicles back seat window.
This way if someone should casually look over, you are somewhat
hidden. Most people will not turn way around to see who is stopped
next to them. And leave a car's length distance between you and the
car in front of you when stopped - otherwise they can hem you in.
u. If you are followed, find a well-traffic'd area or well-lighted 24
hour store like a Fuel-Service Station with possible outside cameras,
or even a Police Station. (NOTE: After the close of a Club recently,
Paula X was followed by 3 guys. Paula X drove into a 24 hour Fuel-
Service Station, drove around the pumps 3 times to get the attention
of an employee inside, then parked under a light near a pump. You
have a few options: A) buy fuel, B) go inside and buy something and
tell the employee(s) you are being followed, C) Catch the occupants
in the vehicle by surprise by directly approaching them - call to
them that you just called the police on your cell phone and they are
being videotaped on the Service Stations video camera.
4. ON YOUR OWN ...... ALONE !
====================
a. Park in a well-lighted area, and lock your doors. Before you get
out of your car, take a look around you. For all you know, that guy
leaning on the car parked next to yours is looking for an easy purse
to snatch.
b. Be careful with whom you associate. There are all sorts of people
out there, most are good but some are very nasty.
c. If you drink, do so in moderation.
d. If you are with friends, decide on a designated driver before you
enter the club. Carry special phone numbers of friends that you can
rely on in case of problems, I.e., Car trouble, etc., And/or carry
the phone number to your association's / club's "hotline."
f. When you drink, know and stick to your limits. There is nothing
less ladylike than a drunk in a club. Alcohol affects different
people different ways. If you have a tendency to get a bit
belligerent, consider alternating every other drink with a
nonalcoholic one. If you think you may have a problem, stick with
nonalcoholic beer, wine, or cocktails. Do not set your drink down
without watching it - someone may "spike" it !
g. Try to always have a backup plan, and some phone numbers handy
5. THE POLICE
==========
a. How many drinks have you had ? How long ago did you drink them?
The answers to these questions are important. A general rule of thumb
is that it takes the body one hour to metabolize the alcohol in one
drink. Know your state's legal limit, and consult one of their tables
to see how little alcohol you need to consume to be considered
legally intoxicated.
b. Face it, if you are stopped and charged with DUI, you WILL be
going to jail. And, you will be going to jail DRESSED as you are.
Searched, photographed, fingerprinted, and booked. Holding cells are
not nice places for "ladies" to end up in. You will need someone to
come down and bond you out, so if you are hiding your cross dressing
from your family, those days are over.
c. By the way, auto club cards do not extend their bonding privileges
to DUI charges. I won't even mention the incredible expenses you will
be facing next
d. If you are stopped, be calm, and pull your car over in a safe
area. Make sure your seat belt is on. If you are stopped in a
deserted area, many law enforcement areas will permit you to drive
slowly to a well-lighted area for your protection.
e. Know what laws apply in your area. Call the Police before your
outing and ask their laws on crossdressing, etc.
f. Once you stop, keep your hands at the 10 and 2 O'clock position on
the steering wheel. The officer is checking your license tag for
vehicle information, and is watching what you are doing. If you are
rummaging around in your car, the officer may suspect that you are
hiding something.
g. Remember, they do not know that you are just a sweet "gal" out for
an evening on the town.
h. When the officer approaches your car, roll your window down when
requested to do so.
i. When you are asked to produce your license and registration, tell
him where it is and that you are going to get it. Keep your hands
visible to the officer at all times.
j. When he asks you, and he probably will, why you are dressed as a
woman, tell the truth. It may help to have a newsletter or
publication that refers to cross dressing or gender dysphoria that
you can ask to show to the officer, (you can also get a legal ID card
in most states with your feminine picture on it, if your brave
enough). Remember, as far as the officer is concerned, the person
driving does not look like the photo on the license. This immediately
makes the officer suspicious, "Is this person in disguise because
they just committed a crime?"
k. If you are asked to get out of your car, follow the instructions
to the letter. You absolutely won't win an argument with the officer
so don't even try.
l. Always address the officer as, Sir or Mam, what ever the case may
be.
m. Do exactly what you are told to do. Answer questions truthfully.
Hopefully, your stop will go without incident. Who knows, maybe that
officer is a cross dresser also.
n. NOTE: Paula X was asked out of the car and asked to "walk" for a
sobriety test. Additionally, the officers asked Paula X to place her
hands on the top of the trunk lid with feet shoulder-width apart. The
officers told Paula X that this position prevents any quick
movements, thus minimizing the chance of a weapon being used against
an officers.
o. Persuade the officers not to make any notation that you are
dressed enfemme. Otherwise, your insurance company will have more
questions. Most officers will not make a notation that you
are "dressed" since they do not need the additional paperwork, and
don't want any subsequent calls or meetings about your appearance.
p. Have a change of your "normal" clothes, as well as makeup removing
items - Holding Cell's are cold with unusual, volatile, and
unaccepting people.
q. Have a few names and numbers of T-friends that you can call for
help. If you are in a Support / Social Group, they should have
contacts to call in this type of a situation.
Examples:
=========
A.
Annette has had the experience with being stopped by the police in
Atlanta Georgia (the first time cross dressed in public) and though I
would die, but all said and done the officer gave me my ticket and
then said, I have seen a lot worse but at least you made my day.
B.
Paula X, 2nd time "out," was walking (~ 1 block) from the parking lot
to a Club in Warren, OH, was stopped by 2 patrolmen. After 15-20
minutes of harmless questions and Paula's nervousness, the officers
gave a warning about being out alone, and not to drink and drive.
Later in the Club, everyone agreed that they were having fun in what
was probably a slow boring evening for the officers. NOTE: When you
are drinking and driving, you offer the police little flexibility
other than taking you into the Station - this is where and when it
gets scary. It's also beneficial if you know the phone number and
Manager/Owner of the Club you are going to - you can call them for
help/support.
C.
Paula X, while "out" and after the close of a Club, was driving back
to the motel. A pickup truck with 3 guys followed Paula X for 4 miles
after they learned they were embarrassed that they mistakened her for
a genetic girl. Paula X drove to a 24-hour Service Station and drove
around the fuel pumps until an employee noticed. (NOTE: If at all
possible, try to park nearby a visible video camera). Paula X walked
toward the pickup truck that was parked nearby and was going to tell
the guys that she called the police on her cell phone, and the guys
were currently being video taped. Before "she" could say anything
though the pick up truck sped off. Buy fuel or something, and thank
the employee(s) for not panicking. Before going home or to the
motel/hotel, make sure the person(s) following you do not follow you
home (or see where your vehicle is parked) at the motel/hotel. By the
way, some motels/hotels frown upon crossdressers. Before making the
reservation or checking in, it is my practice to ask the Manager-On-
Duty about their policy and / or practice regarding crossdressers.
Also, obtain one of their business cards - if trouble occurs while
you are "out" you can always call the Manager-On-Duty.
If a few of the aforementioned ideas helped prepare you for a SAFE
AND FUN FILLED OUTING, then it was worth sharing them with you all.
If you have any suggestions, please e-mail Paulaxis601@aol.com so
they can be posted herein and on other sites. Thank you.
Anticipate - Anticipate - Anticipate ! And have a back up plan !
Thank you for passing on your safety ideas to your friends....Paula X
(Paulaxis601@aol.com) Cleveland, OH - USA
---------------------------------------------------
These are really good tips to follow. I have been
doing it this way since I've been going out in public
for the last 18 years and they work. Especially when I
meet someone for the first time. I tell them that I
will meet them at a TG friendly night club and will
keep meeting them there several times before I feel
that I can trust them to go any further. In some cases
people who want to meet me don't want to meet at a
club because they say they don't go to clubs, they
don't drink, or that they might run into someone in
the place that they know. You don't have to drink
alcohol at a club, they have soda pop and fruit
drinks. If they run into someone who knows them ,
their friend is some what accepting of our life style
or they would not be there. When you get people who
use these excuses, it can safely be assumed that they
are game players, flakes or even be dangerous to meet
in the first place. I have never had a problem
following any of these safety tips. They work!!! How
do I know they work? I am a retired police officer and
on the job I saw a lot of bad things that happened to
other girls because they didn't follow these safety
tips.
--- Paula X <paulaxis601@aol.com> wrote:
> GOING OUT ? BE SAFE, BE SMART ! ! !
>
> Excerpts taken from Annette, Tri-Ess Chapter in
> Michigan, and ideas
> and experiences collected from members like you by
> Paula X -
> Paulaxis601@aol.com
> -------------------------------------
>
BE SAFE, BE SMART - PLAN AHEAD and ANTICIPATE !!!
Dawn, a wife of a cross dresser, with additional comments from a
myriad of "sisters" offers the following SAFETY TIPS
Safety Tips:
Those of us that were raised female have picked up some "street
smarts" to help us avoid trouble when we're out, especially at night.
But our beloved cross dresser may not be as savvy. And there are
issues that natural women don't face but cross dressers might have to
deal with. This is a crash course in playing it safe while out en
femme. Share them with everybody!
Going out while dressed or meeting someone in your feminine attire
can be a wonderful experience, or it can turn into a nightmare.
Remember that when you are out, you are dressed as a woman and
subject to all the attacks, leering and problems that come with
womanhood.
Many sisters, in their search for acceptance make many mistakes
regarding giving out too much information about themselves, arranging
meetings without preparing for them and (when out dressed) do things
that draw unnecessary and unwanted attention to themselves.
For those who require safety tips for meeting, please read the
following lists. Anyone who wishes may add to them. Please e-mail me
and I'll add them
You will always want to make sure you can get to your handheld MACE /
Pepper Spray - and know HOW TO USE IT BEFORE YOU NEED TO USE IT !
(Paula X - Cleveland, Annette c/o Tri-Ess Chapter - Michigan, and
others offer the following safety ideas
1. "FIRST MEETING" TIPS
==================
a. Always let a third person know whom you will be meeting and where.
b. Always meet in a T-friendly public place until you know the
person.
c. If the person says that they have experience, or have met with
others before, ask for references.
d. Beware anyone who wants to meet you RIGHT NOW.
e. Never give out an address until you've met the person a few times
and feel safe.
f. Remember that when you call someone, and they have caller ID, they
now know who you really are and now have your full name and number
and can find your address that way - or worse.
g. If you have "Caller ID," have them call you and get their number
for reference.
h. Call them the first time from a pay phone.
i. Try to meet in a place where you're known.
j. Make sure that you say "hi" to some of these people while the new
(friend) is with you - even introduce them to your friend.
k. Before a meeting, ask them for as much information as possible -
Sexual orientation, last HIV test date, D/D'freeness and discretion,
expectations of each other, likes and dislikes, etc. - Qualify 'em !
l. Have a charged up cell phone with you.
m. always have the phone numbers of a few 'sisters' or friends handy
2. ON THE STREET
=============
a. If you suspect that someone is following you, by foot or in a car,
don't go home (or they will know where you live). Go to a trusted
neighbor or to a public place to call police, or drive directly to
police station.
b. Don't hitch-hike.
c. Be very careful using outside ATMs at night, or in unfamiliar
surroundings.
d. When on the street, walk facing oncoming traffic. It will be
harder for someone to pull you into a car and abduct you.
e. Tell someone where you'll be and what time you're supposed to
return, or if you will be with someone you don't know well.
f. Try to not overload yourself with packages. If you must have your
hands full, visualize how you would respond if approached, how you
would get your hands free, etc.
g. Do not wear music headphones while walking or jogging.
h. Do not read while walking or standing on the street.
i. If you wear a purse with a shoulder strap, be prepared to let it
go if snatched. Otherwise you may be hurt if the mugger knocks you
down and drags you while fleeing with your purse. CONSIDER CARRYING
COPIES OF DRIVERS LICENSE, AAA CARD, etc., in case your purse is
stolen.
j. If someone asks you for directions, and if you choose to reply,
remain at least two arms lengths away.
k. Clogs, high heels, and tight skirts are hard to run and fight in.
Capes, scarves, and long necklaces are easy to grab. Modify your
fashion style, or wear comfortable clothing when walking alone
(change into dress-up clothes later), or think through how you would
fight in your dress-up clothes (for example, kicking off your high
heels or hiking your skirt up around your hips before starting to run
or kick). Imagine ramming your heel through the foot of your
assailant - it could save you from injury.
l. Avoid being on the street alone if you are upset or under the
influence of drugs or alcohol, It's best to have someone go with you.
m. Always have a charged up cell phone with you
3. IN A CAR
========
a. Check the inside and around your car before entering to insure
that no one is hiding there.
b. Check your surroundings before getting out of your car. Visualize
your path to where you are going.
c. Don't pick up hitch-hikers
d. Keep doors locked and windows rolled up so that a hand can't reach
in.
e. If a group of suspicious people approaches you when you are
stopped at a red light at a deserted intersection, run the light if
your intuition tells you that the situation could get dangerous.
f. Don't let gas indicator fall below 1/4.
g. Plan your route and check a map before you start out.
h. Park in well-lighted areas if possible.
i. Try not to park next to a van, as you can be pulled in through the
sliding door.
j. Don't leave valuables in plain sight inside your car.
l. If you see an accident or stranded motorist, if possible report it
from your cell phone or the nearest telephone instead of stopping.
m. Carry in your car: flashlight, flares, fix-a-flat, maps,
comfortable warm clothing, first aid kit, empty gas can, white cloth
to tie to antenna to signal distress, charged cell phone. And
especially a change of DRAB CLOTHING & MAKEUP REMOVER.
n. Be sure you have your CURRENT vehicle registration and insurance
cards in the vehicle - OR AT LEAST COPIES IN THE CAR OR ELSEWHERE.
o. Also be sure you have your non-expired driver's license with you
when you go out. Don't leave it in your billfold, put it in your
purse.
p. A mechanical violation is a valid reason for a police stop in most
states. Check your car out well. This means everything. No noisy
mufflers, or bald tires. Check your horn & windshield wipers. Be sure
to check your lights, ALL of them, the evening before you go out. Be
sure the headlights work, low and high beam. Check your parking
lights, brake lights and turn signal lights. Also, be sure to check
your license plate lights, as they are required by most state laws to
be operational.
q. Clean you car out. Throw away all those old fast food bags and
soda cans. Should you be stopped, a trash filled car could be a point
of suspicion. (Is there something hidden under all that trash?)
r. Obey all posted speed limits and reduce your speed if the weather
is poor.
s. Don't take a chance on running that yellow light, and come to a
complete stop at all stop signs.
t. If you are concerned about another driver, don't pull up right to
the stop line at an intersection. Instead, pull up so your position
in your car is across from the adjacent vehicles back seat window.
This way if someone should casually look over, you are somewhat
hidden. Most people will not turn way around to see who is stopped
next to them. And leave a car's length distance between you and the
car in front of you when stopped - otherwise they can hem you in.
u. If you are followed, find a well-traffic'd area or well-lighted 24
hour store like a Fuel-Service Station with possible outside cameras,
or even a Police Station. (NOTE: After the close of a Club recently,
Paula X was followed by 3 guys. Paula X drove into a 24 hour Fuel-
Service Station, drove around the pumps 3 times to get the attention
of an employee inside, then parked under a light near a pump. You
have a few options: A) buy fuel, B) go inside and buy something and
tell the employee(s) you are being followed, C) Catch the occupants
in the vehicle by surprise by directly approaching them - call to
them that you just called the police on your cell phone and they are
being videotaped on the Service Stations video camera.
4. ON YOUR OWN ...... ALONE !
====================
a. Park in a well-lighted area, and lock your doors. Before you get
out of your car, take a look around you. For all you know, that guy
leaning on the car parked next to yours is looking for an easy purse
to snatch.
b. Be careful with whom you associate. There are all sorts of people
out there, most are good but some are very nasty.
c. If you drink, do so in moderation.
d. If you are with friends, decide on a designated driver before you
enter the club. Carry special phone numbers of friends that you can
rely on in case of problems, I.e., Car trouble, etc., And/or carry
the phone number to your association's / club's "hotline."
f. When you drink, know and stick to your limits. There is nothing
less ladylike than a drunk in a club. Alcohol affects different
people different ways. If you have a tendency to get a bit
belligerent, consider alternating every other drink with a
nonalcoholic one. If you think you may have a problem, stick with
nonalcoholic beer, wine, or cocktails. Do not set your drink down
without watching it - someone may "spike" it !
g. Try to always have a backup plan, and some phone numbers handy
5. THE POLICE
==========
a. How many drinks have you had ? How long ago did you drink them?
The answers to these questions are important. A general rule of thumb
is that it takes the body one hour to metabolize the alcohol in one
drink. Know your state's legal limit, and consult one of their tables
to see how little alcohol you need to consume to be considered
legally intoxicated.
b. Face it, if you are stopped and charged with DUI, you WILL be
going to jail. And, you will be going to jail DRESSED as you are.
Searched, photographed, fingerprinted, and booked. Holding cells are
not nice places for "ladies" to end up in. You will need someone to
come down and bond you out, so if you are hiding your cross dressing
from your family, those days are over.
c. By the way, auto club cards do not extend their bonding privileges
to DUI charges. I won't even mention the incredible expenses you will
be facing next
d. If you are stopped, be calm, and pull your car over in a safe
area. Make sure your seat belt is on. If you are stopped in a
deserted area, many law enforcement areas will permit you to drive
slowly to a well-lighted area for your protection.
e. Know what laws apply in your area. Call the Police before your
outing and ask their laws on crossdressing, etc.
f. Once you stop, keep your hands at the 10 and 2 O'clock position on
the steering wheel. The officer is checking your license tag for
vehicle information, and is watching what you are doing. If you are
rummaging around in your car, the officer may suspect that you are
hiding something.
g. Remember, they do not know that you are just a sweet "gal" out for
an evening on the town.
h. When the officer approaches your car, roll your window down when
requested to do so.
i. When you are asked to produce your license and registration, tell
him where it is and that you are going to get it. Keep your hands
visible to the officer at all times.
j. When he asks you, and he probably will, why you are dressed as a
woman, tell the truth. It may help to have a newsletter or
publication that refers to cross dressing or gender dysphoria that
you can ask to show to the officer, (you can also get a legal ID card
in most states with your feminine picture on it, if your brave
enough). Remember, as far as the officer is concerned, the person
driving does not look like the photo on the license. This immediately
makes the officer suspicious, "Is this person in disguise because
they just committed a crime?"
k. If you are asked to get out of your car, follow the instructions
to the letter. You absolutely won't win an argument with the officer
so don't even try.
l. Always address the officer as, Sir or Mam, what ever the case may
be.
m. Do exactly what you are told to do. Answer questions truthfully.
Hopefully, your stop will go without incident. Who knows, maybe that
officer is a cross dresser also.
n. NOTE: Paula X was asked out of the car and asked to "walk" for a
sobriety test. Additionally, the officers asked Paula X to place her
hands on the top of the trunk lid with feet shoulder-width apart. The
officers told Paula X that this position prevents any quick
movements, thus minimizing the chance of a weapon being used against
an officers.
o. Persuade the officers not to make any notation that you are
dressed enfemme. Otherwise, your insurance company will have more
questions. Most officers will not make a notation that you
are "dressed" since they do not need the additional paperwork, and
don't want any subsequent calls or meetings about your appearance.
p. Have a change of your "normal" clothes, as well as makeup removing
items - Holding Cell's are cold with unusual, volatile, and
unaccepting people.
q. Have a few names and numbers of T-friends that you can call for
help. If you are in a Support / Social Group, they should have
contacts to call in this type of a situation.
Examples:
=========
A.
Annette has had the experience with being stopped by the police in
Atlanta Georgia (the first time cross dressed in public) and though I
would die, but all said and done the officer gave me my ticket and
then said, I have seen a lot worse but at least you made my day.
B.
Paula X, 2nd time "out," was walking (~ 1 block) from the parking lot
to a Club in Warren, OH, was stopped by 2 patrolmen. After 15-20
minutes of harmless questions and Paula's nervousness, the officers
gave a warning about being out alone, and not to drink and drive.
Later in the Club, everyone agreed that they were having fun in what
was probably a slow boring evening for the officers. NOTE: When you
are drinking and driving, you offer the police little flexibility
other than taking you into the Station - this is where and when it
gets scary. It's also beneficial if you know the phone number and
Manager/Owner of the Club you are going to - you can call them for
help/support.
C.
Paula X, while "out" and after the close of a Club, was driving back
to the motel. A pickup truck with 3 guys followed Paula X for 4 miles
after they learned they were embarrassed that they mistakened her for
a genetic girl. Paula X drove to a 24-hour Service Station and drove
around the fuel pumps until an employee noticed. (NOTE: If at all
possible, try to park nearby a visible video camera). Paula X walked
toward the pickup truck that was parked nearby and was going to tell
the guys that she called the police on her cell phone, and the guys
were currently being video taped. Before "she" could say anything
though the pick up truck sped off. Buy fuel or something, and thank
the employee(s) for not panicking. Before going home or to the
motel/hotel, make sure the person(s) following you do not follow you
home (or see where your vehicle is parked) at the motel/hotel. By the
way, some motels/hotels frown upon crossdressers. Before making the
reservation or checking in, it is my practice to ask the Manager-On-
Duty about their policy and / or practice regarding crossdressers.
Also, obtain one of their business cards - if trouble occurs while
you are "out" you can always call the Manager-On-Duty.
If a few of the aforementioned ideas helped prepare you for a SAFE
AND FUN FILLED OUTING, then it was worth sharing them with you all.
If you have any suggestions, please e-mail Paulaxis601@aol.com so
they can be posted herein and on other sites. Thank you.
Anticipate - Anticipate - Anticipate ! And have a back up plan !
Thank you for passing on your safety ideas to your friends....Paula X
(Paulaxis601@aol.com) Cleveland, OH - USA