beyond the basket of rose petals

[jessielee]

Dear Sisters,
Salandra said yesterday that "who wants to listen to someone who is not going to say just how 'great' it all is and how nice it feels to go out 'dolled up'? "
undeniably the pink fog is soooo good to feel, the sensations of awakening to a new dawn. yet there is so much turmoil and it is constructive to share and comfort one another, to live more than the giddy, girly, sky high phase.
if i may say so as a newbie; while lurking in september, i read some touching introductions and was curious how things turned out so i went back looking and had trouble finding them. during the search, however, i was saddened to see so many new intros, full of hope and anticipation, peter out after only 20 submissions or fewer. do they stop dressng? stop talking about it? go elsewhere? we're free to, of course. i may have to stop or quit someday; i pray never. but i ache for these struggling sisters who maybe didn't find what they were looking for here.
i have high hopes and prayers for the recent aditions to our family, the ones we know of.
i sincerely hope we can let it out, what troubles us, for we are human and needful. that as we observe ggs doing, we can lend comforting shoulders for crying upon, extending hands of support. perhaps we feel more and hurt more and yearn more than most gms. but in this precious, pregnant, eternal now we are here. here, now. how shall it be?
i wish blessings and growth for this time, for all of us, even when, perhaps especially when its not all gushingly glorious,
peace, my friends,
jessie

[docrobbysherry]

JessieLee, U always express things so beautifully, poetically, emotionally. But there is another way to look at members who leave here.

I choose to believe they r like baby birds. Eventually, they mature and leave the nest. And so members here, learn and grow. Finally, they may want to just live their lives. Maybe they now confide only in their special partner, instead of us!

In some ways, we r like AA. A support group for like souls who r injured and need support and help! The goal of ALL support groups, is that one day their members won't need the group anymore. And maybe that is true for many here!

I hope that will apply to me one day! When I mite be able to leave cd.com for a period of time without feeling like I'm "missing everything". "Moving on", as Salandra mite say.

[jessielee]

thanks, dear Sherry,
i was thinking precisely about AA when i wrote.
but i meant after only posting a few times, though i said under 20 times.
it touched me. so i wondered how they are?
leaving the nest is to be preferred.
thanks again,
jessie

[Jilmac]

WOW Jessie, you have really said a lot in such a small space. But you're right, Perhaps some of our sisters haven't found their way to the female within. The reasons may be as varied as the stars in the universe. I know from my own experience that it took me over 40 years to gain the confidence to come out to the world. There were many obstacles which had to be overcome but I'm out now and enjoying the pink fog. I'm with you in the hopes that our sisters can someday do the same. Luv and :hugs: Jill

[Stargirl]

Any life without a creative, and social connection is a life half sparked. We are as individualistic in our design as a snowflake, but without a kindred spirit, life is bleak. It's difficult to BE a kindred spirit all by ourselves. It's like being the only kid in the sandbox, and having a new bucket to share. Frustration can be a great motivator. The sun will shine again, if we are patient. (She said, tapping her nails on the kitchen counter)

[Kate Simmons]

This little corner of the world is a true beacon in the darkness, never doubt that for a moment. What we actually express and show here is the true beauty of who we all are inside. The exterior is merely a reflection of that regardless of how we choose to proceed. What really looks better, the "man" or the "woman"? Does it really matter? What is truely evident to me here is the caring we all show for one another and that is what makes the difference my friends.:)

[KarenXDR]

....the two most beautiful things on earth are the horse and the female body.

I have no interest is being a horse, but why not be the other object of beauty?

Lipsick kisses

Karen

[Emily Ann Brown]

If I may equate this situation to standard church membership losses (being EX clergy).....

....new church members usually leave within one year if they do not make at least 3 friends within the body. This isn't me, this is a study by a mainline Christian denomination on what they saw as a serious problem. You would maybe have thought that the finding would have said " deeper relationship with God" or "church activities meeting my needs" was what was required, but no......FRIENDS.

I think many of our new sisters come looking for the thing they don't have up until they join....SISTER FRIENDS. We offer a place to open up, we offer a huge amount of excellent information, but do we offer the one thing that many come secretly looking for? FRIENDS. I can't answer that. I will say it takes being a friend to have friends usually. But do we do enough to promote friend building?

I'll suggest this....and no moderators, I'm not creating more work for you....as a CD or a TG have you made an effort to befriend a "newbie"???

And think further, did anyone befriend you when you first arrived, and did it make a difference? I'll publicly thank Mel, Tristen, Rachel Warren, Steph Somers, JoAnn, and Di for spending a little time getting to know me and going out of their way to make me feel wanted (Karren Hutton don't count....she's family).

Emily Ann

[Deborah Jane]

I think many of our new sisters come looking for the thing they don't have up until they join....SISTER FRIENDS. We offer a place to open up, we offer a huge amount of excellent information, but do we offer the one thing that many come secretly looking for? FRIENDS. I can't answer that. I will say it takes being a friend to have friends usually. But do we do enough to promote friend building?

I'll suggest this....and no moderators, I'm not creating more work for you....as a CD or a TG have you made an effort to befriend a "newbie"???

And think further, did anyone befriend you when you first arrived,

I think Emily got it in one with some of us.
Personaly, when i first came here in July i wasn,t really sure what i was looking for. Some days i signed in here, more often i didn,t. I sometimes read and answered a few threads and slowly i began to realise i,m not alone with this..There are others here who been through the same things i have!
I was thrilled when i got my first PM and realised i,d been noticed and maybe even accepted as Debs for the first time in my life.
As time went on i got more PMs and people started wanting to chat on messenger, i realised i was making new friends here and started coming here daily, often just to see who was about and to participate in things.
Nowadays i come here daily to chat with my sisters and brothers [sometimes in the forum, sometimes on messenger] and realising what a differance being here has made to me i will often try and help new members if i can and encourage them to join in.

Sorry i think i drifted "off thread" a bit at the end..:doh:

[DemonicDaughter]

Jessie,

What beautiful words and sentiments! I could fully understand though, being here such a short time and seeing it already. Seems rather sad. Perhaps we need more threads about life aside from CDing to get each other involved in the other's lives and really get to know them!


Any life without a creative, and social connection is a life half sparked. We are as individualistic in our design as a snowflake, but without a kindred spirit, life is bleak. It's difficult to BE a kindred spirit all by ourselves. It's like being the only kid in the sandbox, and having a new bucket to share. Frustration can be a great motivator. The sun will shine again, if we are patient. (She said, tapping her nails on the kitchen counter)

So wonderfully put! You are such an amazing writer.


If I may equate this situation to standard church membership losses (being EX clergy).....

....new church members usually leave within one year if they do not make at least 3 friends within the body...

I think many of our new sisters come looking for the thing they don't have up until they join....SISTER FRIENDS.

I'll suggest this....and no moderators, I'm not creating more work for you....as a CD or a TG have you made an effort to befriend a "newbie"???

I agree with you as well. I don't get much chance to greet all the new people but I do my best to follow as many leads as I can. I want to show my support as a GG and help CDers feel there are those outside CDing that appreciate what they are going through.

[deja true]

Yes, Emily said it exactly and Debs confirmed my own feeling about this place.

Like Debs, when I got that first PM from someone I really respected, it was as exciting as the day I wrote my intro. A real individual wanted to talk to me personally about something i had NEVER talked about to anyone before!

I send PMs to newbies, too, especially the very few who live as I do,way, way away from the modern, technical world. (no, we're not in prison, but sometimes it feels so.)

Another thing I remembered from first reading the posts, was that I was always thrilled when somebody mentioned me by name or quoted me. It made me feel as if I was really being listened to and somebody thought I had something worthwhile to say. It's selfish, sure, but aren't we all? Those kinds of personal responses from others make a difference.

Give a newbie a little individual hello in their intros, not just a 3 word welcome. Ask a question. Draw them to you, draw them to us.

Remember the first time you went into a club alone and didn't know anyone there? If no one came up and talked to you one on one, it was kinda scary.

We have to actively pursue friendships, not expect them to just happen.

deja

[Emily Ann Brown]

By gosh, a couple of you got it !!!!!


Emily Ann

[Becca]

Although I haven't posted much, I'm still hanging around. Truth is, I don't really have that much to contribute. I have often signed on and explored the topics, and have tossed in a comment here and there. Yet mostly, I enjoy learning about what others have accomplished and hearing about what others have done, at least for now.

I am very pleased to have found this board, and I am delighted to know that so many of "us" have found a way to live their lives more fully, without shame and embarrassment.

The collective wisdom on this board is really amazing.

[deja true]

Don't wait for anyone to get in touch with you Becca. Get in touch with those you feel a bond with if you need to. Much life and talk goes on behind the scenes here, probably more than in the threads.

deja

[DemonicDaughter]

Although I haven't posted much, ...

My SO is the same way! I think that getting out and talking to everyone is just as an important step in all of this as the dressing itself. When exploring who you are, being able to be out with it is important for your own self-esteem as well as helping others who might feel as you do.


Don't wait for anyone to get in touch with you Becca. Get in touch with those you feel a bond with if you need to. Much life and talk goes on behind the scenes here, probably more than in the threads.

deja

What that sexy lady said!


By gosh, a couple of you got it !!!!!


Emily Ann

Got what? Got "it"?! Is it catching?! Oh my gods!!! GET IT OFF ME!!!

....

Wait... what is it?

[TGMarla]

Hi. I think there's a lot of truth to what Emily says as well. I imagine that this is true for any type of organized gathering. I made some friends here, and I'm grateful for that. I also went away from this forum for quite a while. I got to the point where other things in my life were just more important, and took much of my time from me. So part of the reason I stopped hanging out was that I simply did not have or make the time to come here. Another was that I had found whatever it was that I was looking for when I first came here. This forum, I think, has a way of doing that for people who put the time and effort into it. And whatever it was that I was actually trying to find, I left here a better girl than I was when I got here.

Many people who deal with transgender issues within themselves are absolutely miserable about it, too. They come here looking for some kind of bond and validation. If they don't find it, they leave. Maybe what's here really isn't what they're after, either.

There is also a percentage of "Trolls" who worm their way in, just to see the "queers, fags, wierdos, and the like", post really bogus stuff (I'm an incredibly well-built male, huge appendage, and love wearing panties.....how do I tuck this puppy?) and sit back and enjoy the ride, thinking that they got over somehow.

I came back because I missed the interaction and the camaraderie. It's fun to come here, so I returned. I also may again be looking for something I can't quite put my finger on, but it likely has to do with friends and introspection. You're all special in some way. And we all need to be there for each other.

[Seville]

...peter out after only 20 submissions or fewer. do they stop dressng? stop talking about it? go elsewhere?...but i ache for these struggling sisters who maybe didn't find what they were looking for here...peace, my friends,
jessie

Another board I recently joined has dozens of members
who have never made even 1 post. I've wondered why.
And now I have a better understanding. Thanks.

It is up to ME to try to get them to talking, after
all we have a common bond to discuss.

Good topic, good replies!:thumbsup:

ADDENDUM: WE ARE NOT UNIQUE!

The other site breaks down thus:

250 MEMBERS 0 POSTS
84 MEMBERS 1 POST
56 MEMBERS 2 POSTS
....
767 MEMBERS 20 OR LESS POSTS

[jessielee]

girls,
thank you for encouraging serious sensitive talk. i'll post of other things another time after a day away from the computer to tend my little girl who has some crud which might need a doctor to look at,so i'll be back.
but my point was, if we don't talk about it, things fester and grow out of proportion.
Emily hit the nail on the head; personal connections - friendships, relationships are key, to everything! i was nervous, like so many when begining to post, tho you all know i'm locquacious, but still a scared little girl, hidden all these years. and a few of you took extra time to reach out to me beyond the threads, found me, and hugged me, said i'm okay and all else will be okay. it's working, friends. and i have tried to personally reach out to some of you and mean to try connecting with many more of you whom i admire and many more i don't know yet, as it all flows.
thank you, each of you, and Emily, Deb, Salandra, Stargirl, Becca, Seville, my special sister Deja, Marla, DD (lol!), Karen, Jifem and Sherry for a meaningful exchange here.
for this moment, it is working and i feel the special mysterious bond felt beyond a distant star, here and now. hank you again, my sisters. let us keep sharing,so that none need feel they can't stay, who wish to stay.
i love you,
jessie

[Kate Simmons]

My path may have changed a bit Jessie but I feel a bond with yourself and everyone here that will always remain.:)

[KatieC]

My intro thread was written about a year ago. I read the forums most days, and have since I discovered them. But I don't post very often.

I guess I'm just a lurker at heart when it comes to internet forums.

:o

[donnadawn]

I'm still new as a member but have been reading the posts for some time. It took me this long to work up the nerve to join in the fun so I'm not likely to quit just when the going is getting fun. I do not anticipate getting lots of mail from any of you at first but assume it will happen when people get to know me better. I'd try to correspond with those of you that I can feel a connection to or maybe live in a near by location. It would be great to meet another CD face to face some time just to compare notes or to just check her out. It just may take a while before I can get the courage up to do it.

[DemonicDaughter]

So I took your advice and thought I would start a thread where we might all get to know one another a bit more. Its called Tag (click here)! (http://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=78844) Now go forth and do much typing!!!!! I command thee! Okay... please go forth and do much typing. :battingeyelashes: