Stories Of Negative reactions and bad Choices in Telling...

[Megan70]

I don't know if this delicate subject has ever been broached but this is a support site and we should openly write about the good and the bad of CDing, but as a counter version follow up to the thead below by Gemma Rhodes about telling others i would like to ask those to honestly fess up and admit to negative or bad experiences that had in telling that ended up in distasterous reactions, or irrepairable consequences. Nobody ever wants to admit that side of us, but it does indeed hapen...:eek:
Would like to hear some stories and i can add my own i've heard from others, not me.:o
Anyone willing to volunteer?:sad:

Megan70

[stellatoo]

I told a girl a long time ago I crossdressed and she left me! Thats about the "worst" thing thats happened...

And if thats the worst thats ever going to happen I'm a lucky lady:)


Stella

[Joanne Davis]

Just into my first few years of college, the girl I was seeing somewhat supported my dressing. We had a falling out and she told her parents, friends, and my friends. At the time, it broke my heart, the worst is I lost a lot of great childhood friends

[KandisTX]

As I have often stated previously my childhood was rather filled with turmoil and as a result I was taken away from my father and step mother (whom I call Mom because she was more like a mother to me than the woman who "raised" me).

When I started CDing is not important for this story, as it is about when I first came out to the woman who raised me. I'll just call her "P" to keep it simple. I was tired of sneaking around and stealing her things and sisters things as well, I wanted my own clothing, womens clothing, so I decided it was time to come out to her and tell her that I enjoyed wearing womens clothes. At one time I had taken some stuff from her and sister and it was in my dresser, I couldn't wait to get home from school to wear it all the next day, there was a bra, panties, body briefer, pantyhose, slip, and a nightie. When I got home they were all GONE, someone had been in my dresser. I am walking through the house and there they all sit on her dresser. Damn it, "P" had taken all of it away from me. I took it back and hid it in the same spot, yeah real smart, it disappeared again. I was mad, but what could I say? I had stolen it from them and well technically it was hers and sisters stuff anyway.

Fast forward about a month and "P" and I were the only ones home and so I took the opportunity to run into sisters room and put on a bra, panties, and pantyhose underneath my sweats and would talk to her about stuff and gradually lead into the topic on my mind.

Now, we were outside and I certainly wasn't going to strip down in front of God and everybody to show her what I was wearing under my sweats so I kept the conversation going until we were going inside. As we were going inside and upstairs I ask her "Do you want to know why I had your clothes in my drawer?" Bear in mind that as I am asking this I am stripping off the outer layer of clothing and I continue with "Well, This is why" and I throw the sweats over her shoulder and am standing there with nothing on but bra, panties, and pantyhose. "We need to talk" she says. I of course am thinking that she is going to understand and accept me and will give me things or take me shopping.

WRONG Boy oh boy was I ever wrong. Yeah, we talked, or should I say SHE talked and I listened to her go on and on about it being wrong and I would go to hell for this sin and I needed help. So she booked me for a psychiatrist and I went back into my cacoon as all beautiful butterflies do :)

A couple months later I moved back with my Dad and step mother and found out shortly after that time "P and A" were going to have me committed to some asylum.

So, I guess you can say I had a bad experience with coming out ;)

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Damiana]

Yes, Big mistake. I shared it with my mother. For some reason I thought she was more openminded than she is. She "accepts" it but still considers it a "sin". She basically never wants to talk about it again.

[Melissa-M]

I told my first wife of 11 yrs just after she had cheated on me. she left after 3 months she said that it was not because of the CDing but it did not help.

PS I am remarried now wife knows have troubles adjusting but she is trying we have 2 kids so for them and our friendship I hop we can work thru it:battingeyelashes:

[Deborah Jane]

Telling my now ex wife probably rates as the stupidest thing i ever did:sad:..
[Apart from "roof surfing" on my mates Ford Granada:heehee:]!!

[KellyCD]

Well I've had not so good times telling people but the worst is a tie with my mother and my older sister.

I never told either of them but I was living with my sister (long story) and she had found my "stash" of bra's and panties. She said nothing at all to me. Instead she bought me a bus ticket and told me "your going to live with your mother in the morning". She hasn't spoken to me since which was over 10 years ago.

My mother caught my one time in a strapless bra under my tank top and became extremely violent. She beat me with everything she could find(which wasn't unusual as she did that frequently over any reason she could make up) until I took it off.

I haven't talked to her in years either but for different reasons.

[Amy Hepker]

I had a girlfriend that lived with me for over 6 months. I shared everything with her about myself. She was so upset at me for breaking up with her, that she went and told all my friends that I had at that time about my liking to wear dresses. They called me on it and I denied everything. They believed her and they screwed me over many times after that.

[JenniferR771]

Organist was sick. Choir practice was canceled. Wife came home an hour early--it wasn't pretty.

[Joy Carter]

Wife knows. And I plan to tell not another sole. :tongueout

[Bootsiegalore]

My sister (who is gay) and my wife know. My children (13 &16 do not.) I wish everyone knew... things would be easier.

Tara in AZ
bootsiegalore@yahoo.com

[april lynn]

My sister (who is gay) and my wife know. My children (13 &16 do not.) I wish everyone knew... things would be easier.

Tara in AZ
bootsiegalore@yahoo.com

Ste down with your nkids and tell them.

[april lynn]

I was about 6 years old and got jumped by a bunch of 6and 7 graders and had to have casts on for 6 mos.

[Holly]

I was about 6 years old and got jumped by a bunch of 6and 7 graders and had to have casts on for 6 mos.For Crossdressing?

[Jamie Parks]

this one girl I was dating when I was like 18 I told her when we were dating and like 8 years later she ran into a couple of my friends and told them but luckily for me she was WELL KNOWN as a liar (that is why we broke up) and none of my friends belived her. They actually told it to me as a joke, I played along and laughed but inside I was just trying to keep my face from turning too red.
Jamie

[SweetCaroline]

I lost respect of an on-line group (non-TG) by coming out and basically shoving pictures of me en femme in their faces, but I suppose it was for the better since some of them were giving me a hard time for go out dressed and I didn't want to post at any website where I would not be identified as "Caroline". I didn't expect them all to like what I was doing, I just wanted to share with people I thought were friends what I thought was a very beautiful thing that was happening to me. I was wrong about who my friends were.

Other than that, my only real big mistake in coming out was when I came out to my parents. They both already knew, but it hadn't really been discussed. I just got tired of hiding so I started drinking early in the afternoon, and got fully dressed as "Caroline". I live right above them in the same house, so I went downstairs and visited them en femme, unannounced. It was pretty tense for them, and while they've come to accept it, and I don't regret coming out, I do wish I had been able to do it another way, with out alcohol and with out surprising them like that.

The coming out process was very stressful for me and my family, but I think full disclosure is better than keeping secrets and sneaking around.

[Danicd]

My SO is the only one that knows and I fully intend on keeping it that way. I have 2 teenage boys and would never want to hurt them or there relationships by my being to honest.

[darla_g]

what a horrible bunch of stories, this is so depressing.

i am truly sorry for all you girls.

[april lynn]

my son's mom will not let me have him over the weekend becouse of my cding. I told her that I would not cd when I had him

[TxKimberly]

What a lot of happy and cheerful stories - NOT!
I've told lots of people and have had only one bad experience. A new lady in our office (I'll call her "the witch") joined my wife and a lesbian friend (who knew about me) from work going out one Friday night. For what ever reason, they thought it would be amusing to go to one of the few gay bars in Austin where I had had plans to go out that night for weeks. I figured "what the hell, she's going to a gay bar, she must be cool." I was wrong. She was fine that night when I walked up to her, but she told me several times after that that I should be ashamed of myself and that it was disgusting. I found out from yet another lady at work just recently (years later) that the witch had told her all about it. I also think it can't be dismissed as coincidence that a month or so after this night, one of the senior directors of my company asked me to leave my management position and return to engineering. He assured me that they were pleased with the job I had been doing but that they needed my engineering talents in the field more than they needed me as a manager. At the time it happened, I was stunned as I had frankly been doing a good job. Looking back on it now and knowing that the Witch had been telling people at work, it seems likely to me that this was the real reason.
The good news? I'm MUCH happier as a field service engineer anyway - I HATED being a manager! lol

[Bootsiegalore]

The good news? I'm MUCH happier as a field service engineer anyway - I HATED being a manager! lol

Kimberly, I prefer the field engineering to management as well! I also hated managers, so I am on my own now and love it!

[Seville]

Well I've had not so good times telling people... and became extremely violent. She beat me with everything she could find(which wasn't unusual as she did that frequently over any reason she could make up)...
I haven't talked to her in years either...

Gotcha Beat!

As I posted before, I suffered increasing violence from dear ole
Mom...Public humiliation, attempted blinding with household
aerosols in the face, hitting in the head with cans, HAD MY
DOGS EUTHANISED just to teach me a "lesson", and ended
up with attempted murder with scissors in the back. :eek:

I haven't seen "family" for decades...

I didn't have to tell her about my C/D...my neighbors did.

Funny thing, tho...I am perectly happy and content in my
present life...wouldn't change anything.

[KittenKraske]

I am saddened to read some of the stories here, I think I will probably encounter some resistance but haven't had too bad a time of it yet. My Mom said she thought I was weird, and odd, and asked that I not come to her and my Dads place dressed as anything but her SON. But she said she loves me regardless so I can't complain. I honestly think my dad will take it better than she thinks he will but I don't want to go against her wishes just yet, one day he will know hopefully I can tell him before he comes to our wedding, my SO and I are having a gender swap flapper/gangster wedding next year and I don't want to shock him. most of my friends have been really good about it though I have noticed a distinct lack of communication from alot of people...One person I DREAD having to come out to is the father of my SO's sons, it is inevitable and probably won't be too big of a deal, but who really can tell how someone will react. I think my SO had the worst of it so far, last night we went to a big house party and it was the first time I had gone out as Kitten with a large group of people I knew, I had a great time as I was talking to people who I liked and wanted to talk to me so I did not have the time to notice any negative reactions. Unfortunately for her she kept being accosted by different guys who were trying to hit on her and asking her whether she was OK with me doing it, and why, and what the F@$%, and the like. She did not tell me until after we went home that she had heard nothing but disparaging type remarks and had only had one positive reaction, she did not want to spoil my night. I wish she had as I would have addressed the guys in question personally and asked them to leave her the hell alone and talk to me if they had something to say. She said she had a really crappy time, but was very proud of me and proud to be there with me which more than makes up for a few no minds who I don't even know. I am a little concerned about some of her family but her parent seem like they will be OK with it, which is really important to me. I don't want who I am to make her life difficult, I know it is impossible to avoid some discomfort but if we could avoid disowning happening I would be damn happy!

[KellyCD]

Gotcha Beat!

As I posted before, I suffered increasing violence from dear ole
Mom...Public humiliation, attempted blinding with household
aerosols in the face, hitting in the head with cans, HAD MY
DOGS EUTHANISED just to teach me a "lesson", and ended
up with attempted murder with scissors in the back. :eek:

I haven't seen "family" for decades...

I didn't have to tell her about my C/D...my neighbors did.

Funny thing, tho...I am perectly happy and content in my
present life...wouldn't change anything.

I know the feeling, beaten within an inch of your life, stabbed in the eye with a pen, pistol whipped, kicked in the groin(by my own mother for god's sake) although she didn't have my dog euthanised, she instead beat her with a shovel till she......you get the point.

I am much happier now that I got her out of my life. Too bad my wife is starting to become more and more like her everyday.

[veronicagirl]

I'm retired, single and have my own home. I dress when/how I desire. I know I can't pass, so I don't go out. I have some online "girlfriends" and that's how it's going to stay. .....don't need the grief!

[jayme357]

I think the only thing I regret is never having confided in my Mother. I know she loved me unconditionally, and I think my life would have been much happier if I had trusted that relationship. But, as many do, I hid Jayme from the rest of the world for an eternity.

But............

During a very special birthday, with inhibitions dulled with bubbly, I shared myself with my SO's sister and nephew (gay) and met with total acceptence and support. The only other person I shared Jayme with was my first wife which was a disaster. Having had such positive feedback within my current social environment I really feel no need to push the envelope. I have been accepted, I am loved, and what else can anyone possibly wish for?

[Miss Petra]

I told my wife 4 weeks into our realtionship about Petra who was unnamed at the time. Both she & I had no idea what this was all about. After we got married it became a hide & seek & destroy mission for both of us. As I aged and turned 40 the urge to dress came on strong. I joined a church to stop dressing and the funny thing about it is that I felt better about myself and since having a spirtual experience I felt better. after 30 plus years of repression shame guilt and fear I finally was ready to be OK with all this.

When I told my wife my feelings and how we needed to try and come to a compromise she was very upset like most partners. She however did see the pain in my eyes and wanted to make me feel better & try to undrstand why I had this need .

It has been 2 years since that date. I have gone slow, steady and try to be respctful of my wifes feelings. I am 100% honest with her and hide nothing...websites I go to, pics of me on the computer, who my cd friends are etc.. BY doing this my wife trusts me more with all this. She doesnt always look and rarely does but just knowing that she can and I am not hiding anything goes along way.

Has this been easy hell no!! We go to therapy together and seperate to a counselor every week who specializes in gender issues.

The whole key to all this is both partners have to work very hard at it and be willing to change and except their shortcomings.

I try to give my wife alot of man time and then in turn I can get a little woman time.

All my family Mom, 2 brothers & my sister know. All love me and accept me. Everyone except my sister she loves me but doesnt wanna talk about it (cuz I look just like her dressed) has seen pictures and I can talk open and honest to them.

All my best friends know and some are more acceptng than others. The only lukewarm I got was one friend thought it was weird but you are not hurting anyone so whats the harm in that he said.

The only ones that know are people that love me and I would never want to hide a secret to the friends I love.

I hope that everyone can find peace in their dealings with a very difficult situation of being honest about who you are and the ones around you that are forced to deal with your dressing. Remeber we have the choice they dont.

HUgz,

Miss Petra