Have you done this and why???

[Amy Hepker]

Hi Ladies,

I know simular things have been brought up before about how much different you act as female, but this is a question about how you act when you are in DRAB. I have heard this before and I have to say I have been this way before myself.

Do you act more rough when in Drab, I mean do you get angry more often? Do you think it is because you wish you could be the person you are inside? I mean in general, girls are more passive, and show more restraint? Do you feel uncomfortable as a male and act up because you wish you could have been female all your life? Are you mean to other people because you hate the life you have to live?

I know I have asked this in several way, but I wanted to cover all the aspects.

My belief is that males act up because they are unhappy about the lives they lead, the life they are in, the roles they have to play.

[DanaJ]

I act the same all the time, I do not put on different personas whenever I change clothes.

I see all the time on this forum how GGs are more passive, and more gentle and restrained and all that - but all the GGs I have ever known are like, well..... real people. Some are way more aggresive than most guys I know, some are gentle, some will rip your head off. Not all GGs are alike...

I've been known to act up at times, and I am happy with being a GM.

[Sandi jo]

All GGs are not alike wanted to get that out of the way.When I am in drab I am much more angry but I'm not sure why could be lots of factors

[Joy Carter]

Prior to accepting myself, I can say I showed the some male attitude, but with a sense of humour. But I'm sensitive and caring no matter what mode I'm it.

[Kate Simmons]

Nope. Actually Sal is more of a "tough guy" than Rich ever was.:)

[Julie York]

Being 'gentle' is a character trait projected onto women whether they are or not. In the same way that being tough or unemotional is a character trait projected onto men.

CDs are prone to idealising femininity and projecting idealised character traits onto women. So when they create a fantasy alter ego they embellish it with these stereotypical expectations.

There are some seriously uncaring, angry, bullying women out there, just as there are sensitive kind thoughtful men out there.

I imagine there are several hundred thousand Cds who feel themselves enveloped by the spirit of Marylin Monroe when they dress...rather than say Margaret Thatcher or Bodicea.

I hardly ever dress fully and when I do it is only for a short time to take a photo maybe. My personality doesn't change at all to my knowledge. It's me being giddy and 'acting a part', but it's still just me.

[Maddie]

I think it is more a case of over comoensation to hide that IS inside

alot of us chose risky jobs while in the military to hide the gentle side

Maddie

[Michelle-NC]

My SO and I have discussed this a lot. Before fully accepting, when in Michelle mode, there was a side that was more passive and gentle. Now that I have fully accepted it, those modes are starting to merge with the rough angry male side.

But at the same time, I have discussed with my SO that the CDing side is an escape. I have a very high stress job, and Michelle doesn't...so she doesn't have that much to get angry about. When I go into Michelle mode, I have made a pact with my SO that I don't think about work or stress.

[Suzy Harrison]

I'm a bit of a softee in any mode really.

[jessielee]

dear Amy,
glad you asked, have been thinking about this.
never been much of an angry drabby,
though frustration brings it out.
but jessie has softened jesse even more,
even though he was always gentle enough to have been called names all my life, you know the ones.
i think i am happier now, as Michelle noted, healthy integration is occuring.
being "professional" i would write in vehicle log books that i noticed if they hadn't been refueled or left dirty, meaning more wrk for me at freezing 3:30 a.m.
you know what?
its going to continue, ever, some coasting on what they can get by on other's grace. after being welcomed into your hugs, dear sisters,
i've stopped whining in the log books.
it doesn't really matter, being "taken advantage of."
life is good!
i wish to forgive as i have been forgiven much.
ggs are not nor should they ever be abused as doormats.
but for today,
i'm, a softer, fuzzier, happier driver.
thank you, girls,
jessie

[EDNA]

I did not feel like a Boy. I did not like wearing Boys Clothes and doing the things a Boy should do. Also Girls had better looking Clothes and my Perants wanted a Girl. So at the age of Eight. I was allowed to started CD and only had to wear Boy Clothes. When I went to School.

[tracigirl_tv]

I would say that my interest in CDing has actually increased my overall sensitivity, male time and female time. I'm more willing to let it go and have a good cry if the situation warrants, whether in male mode or female mode. It's just one of many things about the CD experience I am grateful for.

xxx

Traci

[Bexles]

I have a very short temper generally but when I'm dressed I'm too worried about wrecking my clothes or make-up so I remain more composed :P

Also I think it's a psychological thing, when enfemme you're most likely in a good/happy state of mind so that will reflect in your manner.

As they say "clothes don't make the woman" but they may effect the way you feel :D

[Megan (VA)]

I feel lighter, happier, when I am presenting as a woman. But, no, I think I act pretty much the same way regardless of how I am dressed. I might smile and laugh more when en femme.

[Amy Hepker]

I know what you mean when you say that guys pick on you because you are more gentle or caring. The word comes to mind Sissy. I don't want to upset anybody by saing this but yes, I was how you say a sissy growing up and was picked on my self and I guess that kind of drew out a bad side of me that should never have come out. I feel so much better about myself as Amy than I ever did as John. Amy can show her feelings without getting tormented or picked on. Amy really does pull out the good side of me that I would rather see. Yes, I am a sissy and have been all my life, when I was young I hated being labled and picked on so I hid my female side away. Yes, crossdressing as a guy to be accepted, even though I hated that side of me. I am female inside and aways have been.

[RobertaFermina]

Data: I get more intense or frustrated in Male Mode.

Why: Life can be a bitch. To date, it is not Roberta's job to pay the rent, or deal with the daughter's issues, or manage the dozens of issues that are common fare of my Male day.

What I learn! Congratulations and Admiration for those girls who are 24/7, "dancing backwards on their high heels" through life !

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[heidi99]

Do you act more rough when in Drab, I mean do you get angry more often? Do you think it is because you wish you could be the person you are inside?

My belief is that males act up because they are unhappy about the lives they lead, the life they are in, the roles they have to play.

Whew, quite a theory you have there. By "act up" I take it to mean anger and aggression

I think that anger and aggression are more hard-wired and hormone related than a reaction to mental anguish.

I personally DID loathe the femme side of me because of the separation I felt from others. Why did I have to be this way? Why can't I be normal? Funny thing is even a horrendous marriage can have positive effects (or perhaps I was just ready to share my secret with SOMEONE, and she happened to be the first one in line.) Anyway, I've come to realize that it is alright to be different, to be me, and to like to dress in women's clothing. I think it is the act of ACCEPTING one's self that has the calming effect and brings the best out of a person. Anyway that's MY story.

I sometimes read on this site that when we aren't able to CD, we get tense and frustrated. I pondered that a moment ago, and I think it's not the ability to dress that causes tension, but not being able to do the things we would like to do when we want to do them that causes the tension. I know, splitting hairs. But I think it is important to note the real cause.

[Amy Hepker]

Heidi, I think you have hit the nail on the head. For some it is an addition and when we can't dress we have withdrawl simptoms. After all we are just human.

[JoAnnDallas]

I find that my fem side extends into my everyday drab life. The way I sit and stand. The fact that I have better relations with the GG's in my office than I do with most of the GM's. LOL I get more greetings fromt the ladies than I do from the guys. I have notice that the ladies are somewhat selective to whom they greet each morning when it comes to the guys. They always greet each other. LOL. Four of the office ladies know about my acrylic nails and polished toes and it seems to have made our friendship stronger.

[Barbara Joanne74]

I too find myself more calm and compassionate when dressed. However when I am in boy mode and go shopping with my wife, I revert to the girl within helping her pick things out. She knows about Barbara but does not accept her, but she does love going shopping with me to get my opinion, plus I have a bit more stylish taste than her, so I push her a bit more...and help he spend a bit more.

Barb J